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Not a joke, but I modified the barfie:
Feel free to use it 🙂
I like it. Someone else did this
. That was pretty good too.
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Pharmacy Joke
- Thread starter labrat024
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I like it. Someone else did this
. That was pretty good too.- Joined
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I've got a good joke:
So the Minnesota Twins GM Bill Smith says to the NY Mets GM Minaya, "I've got the best pitcher of the decade, Johan Santana, on my hands...we probably won't be able to sign him when he becomes a free agent at the end of the season because our owner (the richest in baseball, by the way) doesn't want to pony up the money to keep him. Maybe we can come up with a trade?"
So Minaya says to Smith, "We've got four bags of plain potato chips...does that sound good?"
Smith: "We've got a deal!"
Ok, so it's not funny at all. It's sad and pathetic. Yesterday was one of the worst days ever. My favorite player in the history of the world traded for a bunch of mid-tier prospects! Unbelievable. Like getting kicked in the nuts each time I think about it.
At least I'll get to watch Santana hit now (if the Mets sign him to the extension.) I might have to become a Mets fan!
So the Minnesota Twins GM Bill Smith says to the NY Mets GM Minaya, "I've got the best pitcher of the decade, Johan Santana, on my hands...we probably won't be able to sign him when he becomes a free agent at the end of the season because our owner (the richest in baseball, by the way) doesn't want to pony up the money to keep him. Maybe we can come up with a trade?"
So Minaya says to Smith, "We've got four bags of plain potato chips...does that sound good?"
Smith: "We've got a deal!"
Ok, so it's not funny at all. It's sad and pathetic. Yesterday was one of the worst days ever. My favorite player in the history of the world traded for a bunch of mid-tier prospects! Unbelievable. Like getting kicked in the nuts each time I think about it.
At least I'll get to watch Santana hit now (if the Mets sign him to the extension.) I might have to become a Mets fan!
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I guess Im a total pharm nerd or something cause I dont get the joke. Maybe I need to watch baseball or something, But then again I probably have better things to do like talk to women or something.
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A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.
Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Just as his wife comes home, the Viagra kicks in and it's hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs of a frozen chicken?"
Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Just as his wife comes home, the Viagra kicks in and it's hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs of a frozen chicken?"
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hopefully you're not nonspecific
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haha,yes, you're
D
deleted205891
Here's one my roommate told me:
A man walks into a pharmacy complaining that the suppository prescribed to him is not working. The pharmacist asks the patient if he knows how the medicine should be taken. The patient says: "Of course. What do you think I do, shove it up my ass?"
A man walks into a pharmacy complaining that the suppository prescribed to him is not working. The pharmacist asks the patient if he knows how the medicine should be taken. The patient says: "Of course. What do you think I do, shove it up my ass?"
lol, the pharmacist I work with has actually heard a similar complaint. The patient wanted a new medicine because they tasted terrible.
This thread made me lol, good break for finals week
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One of the worst days for you, but HOT DAMN, it was a good day for me.
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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers
those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
I laughed at this one...
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lmao, that's the worst joke I've ever seen, but I still chortled...
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her
The pharmacist i worked with told me that one
Don't pay her
The pharmacist i worked with told me that one
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A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.
The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you."
"Oh, that's no problem," said the man. "If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour."
"Show me," said the interviewer.
So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavoured, colored and everything before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.
The interviewer said, "That's amazing, but I don't think we could employ someone who'd be womanizing all over the country."
"Excuse me!" exclaimed the man, "I'm a happily married man, not a womanizer!"
"Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer.
The man replied, "Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?"
The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you."
"Oh, that's no problem," said the man. "If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour."
"Show me," said the interviewer.
So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavoured, colored and everything before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.
The interviewer said, "That's amazing, but I don't think we could employ someone who'd be womanizing all over the country."
"Excuse me!" exclaimed the man, "I'm a happily married man, not a womanizer!"
"Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer.
The man replied, "Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?"
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I found this on craigslist:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wma/780731449.html
It's a really funny chemistry joke.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wma/780731449.html
It's a really funny chemistry joke.
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I have a funny one to tell. It actually happened to one of my pharmacist.
A patient was dispensed a medication in its original bottle. The bottle contained a desiccant. For those of you who've seened these desiccants they normally have in small writing, "DO NOT EAT". So after a few days, the patient calls our pharmacist and says, "Can I eat now, I haven't had any food for 4 days and I'm so hungry?"
A patient was dispensed a medication in its original bottle. The bottle contained a desiccant. For those of you who've seened these desiccants they normally have in small writing, "DO NOT EAT". So after a few days, the patient calls our pharmacist and says, "Can I eat now, I haven't had any food for 4 days and I'm so hungry?"
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You think that's funny? One of our patients actually ate the damn desiccant.
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Yes! I found another human on this forum!!!!
I can't wait until Opening Night, first ever game at Citi Field, lol. It'll be awesome to see Santana start and go 7 innings, Putz in the 8th, and K-Rod in the 9th. I can honestly go to sleep in the 7th inning knowing that we won the game.
Let's Go Mets!
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Mother asks her daughter's new boyfriend:
- So, What do you do for living?
- I am a drug dealer😀.
- She :😕
- So, What do you do for living?
- I am a drug dealer😀.
- She :😕
And this page came up. LOL
The Grad student I work with emailed this to me a couple of days ago, I thought I'd share it with you guys.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic ( gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you ar e not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explain s why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic ( gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you ar e not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explain s why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
i laughed my way through the entire thread.
Have fun with K-Rod buddy. He makes closing unnecessarily full of drama. I say good riddance! 😉
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