Please help, I have a dilemma

[wends]

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I am a 24-year-old male medical student and I've never been in a relationship, and I've never even as much as kissed a girl. My problem is that I am a very reclusive preson, I never go to parties, I don't like socializing (it's pleasure for most people and hard work for me) and I like things that most people my age don't (soft jazz music being one). I rarely if ever talk to anyone outside of my immediate family. So as a result, I don't have a network of close friends, which is apparently a prerequisite to meeting women. Recently I have been comforting myself with a thought that I am bound to attract someone sooner or later because I am going to be a frigging DOCTOR. And that's what my parents told me too. But is that really wise? Should I just stop worrying about this and focus on my med school studies, waiting for my MD to make up for my inexperience? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

are you asian? lol

j/k.....focus on your med studies, but go out and enjoy life!!! man, your already in med school, let loose and bust out the personality!!! your freakin 24!!!!!! you dont have time left esp with residency....you're only going to get busier...start NOW.....start talking to ppl adn go out and get drunk.... 👍

 

[Blake]

are you asian? lol

j/k.....focus on your med studies, but go out and enjoy life!!! man, your already in med school, let loose and bust out the personality!!! your freakin 24!!!!!! you dont have time left esp with residency....you're only going to get busier...start NOW.....start talking to ppl adn go out and get drunk.... 👍

What's the big deal with getting drunk ? I don't get it 😕

 

[wends]

What's the big deal with getting drunk ? I don't get it 😕

its not a big deal, but is one of the main ways that people our age interact with each other now....going out and hanging out at the bar....we're not 5 anymore and can't all go to chucky cheese for some good ol' fun....and drinkin a bit loosens you up..... 😉

 

[Mirror Form]

and drinkin a bit loosens you up..... 😉

definitely, a little courage in a shot can really help when approaching women. You can't be too drunk though unless you've been drinking for long enough to act almost sober. Once a girl knows that you're drunk, the game is OVER!

 

[Cartman80]

go meet a prostitute if you want "experience."

and VD...

 

[Cartman80]

definitely, a little courage in a shot can really help when approaching women. You can't be too drunk though unless you've been drinking for long enough to act almost sober. Once a girl knows that you're drunk, the game is OVER!

plus you don't want whiskey dick.

 

[azzarah]

CDC, are you still here reading all this? 😉

 

[HeySha]

I'm going to echo the "working out" part because personally I love to workout and I'm attracted to guys who enjoy doing the same thing. Of course if that isn't your gig, then like others have stated, join some interest clubs and you're likely to meet women with the same interests as you. What about your classmates? Do they do things together outside of class? Obviously you're an intelligent guy who must have some confidence in the classroom to have gotten where you are, so maybe use that classroom confidence to see if they want to do something outside of class?? My brother is an MD/PhD MSTP student and he was very much the same way through HS and undergrad, but he has really opened up in med school through activities with his classmates (Movie nights, trips to the gym, etc.).

If you were in NorCal, I'd invite you out with my friends!

Best of luck; I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

[MustafaMond]

Heysha , I read your prfoile and you seem hot and cool.

 

[MustafaMond]

Its funny how, from reading his post, people think cdc2004 is an asian guy.
I think he could be nerdy-white, as well.
Either way...Good luck, man.

👍

 

[Blake]

Its funny how, from reading his post, people think cdc2004 is an asian guy.
I think he could be nerdy-white, as well.
Either way...Good luck, man.

👍

I think he could be a nerdy whatever. 🙄

 

[fancymylotus]

Its funny how, from reading his post, people think cdc2004 is an asian guy.
I think he could be nerdy-white, as well.
Either way...Good luck, man.

👍

oy vey.

 

[mdstudent2004]

and VD...

I agree, bad advice about a prostitute!

Someone suggested trying to get some courage in a bottle. And then someone else said that was bad advice. I actually think it's not so bad advice. Just don't get stupid drunk. But needing to communicate with the opposite sex is key. If you're having problems at this because you're shy, then a drink might help.

I agree with what a lot of others said; it's no big deal that you're a virgin. What sounds like might be a real barrier (because the former barrier can be overcome in 1 night 😉 ) is your communication skills/people skills. I'm not sure how painfully shy you are, so it might not be as bad as it sounds, but if it is, then you should FORCE yourself to practice talking to anyone just to get those skills honed. For instance, when you go to the grocery store or the movie theater or the mall, say something to the checkout clerk or person behind the counter even if you're not interested (or even if he's a guy)...just say something to get used to approaching a stranger and making brief conversation or even just a passing comment. I think the more you practice, the easier it will get for you.

Also, it might be tough trying to meet women while you're in school (since it sounds like there's a lot of effort you need to put forth to socialize). Therefore, I'd just relax and concentrate on school - but try to get out on weekend nights with friends if you have extra time (and ask your friends and family to set you up or try the internet dating scene).


Good luck!

 

[beriberi]

I think the point that needs to be said here is: This is abnormal.

I say that and am mostly reserving judgement. (It is also abnormal to be smart enough to get into medical school, so abnormal by itself is not necessarily bad).

The fact is that most people >95% have had a relationship with a member of the opposite sex by the time they are 24 (if they desire one). I think it is naive to tell the OP that "this is fine" "things will work out" "it will come together eventually". If you are that far from the norm, they might not come together without some intervention.

I think that the OP needs some counseling and psychiatric evaluation. We are only hearing one side of the story, and someone who interacts with him may have very specific advice that we could never ascertain over the internet. There may be a social anxiety disorder, a problem with hygiene, or a personality disorder that is causing this Abnormality.

so, my advice: see someone professionally. now. your life will not come together unless you take an active role.

 

[mdstudent2004]

Do people have to be "in the norm" all the time? In matters of love, nothing is normal. Seriously, the fact that he hasn't slept with a girl is not the end of the world. That can be remedied in one feel swoop, so to speak. However, I do agree that his communication skills might need lots of help. So, perhaps a counselor on how to approach strangers (I saw something like this on tv - where they had people in a small european town go into the store and make an effort to say something to the person behind the meat counter before leaving) could help. But as far as how fast he can lose his virginity - that's something that he doesn't need to do ASAP or he'll die. Going to a prostitute could "solve" that situation, but it would accomplish nothing. He's not looking for empty sex. He sounds like a sensitive guy who wants a romance.

As for the other comments, I think some of us were assuming that he doesn't have some kind of hygiene issue or nose-picking problem or something really offensive about him. (But you know what they say about when you assume.) I'm guessing that this guy is smart enough to know the basics about hygiene, wearing clothes that are freshly washed, washing his hair on a daily basis, brushing his teeth, going to the dentist to make sure he doesn't have a gaping cavity giving him horrible breath.... but maybe we're missing something obvious?

I think the point that needs to be said here is: This is abnormal.

I say that and am mostly reserving judgement. (It is also abnormal to be smart enough to get into medical school, so abnormal by itself is not necessarily bad).

The fact is that most people >95% have had a relationship with a member of the opposite sex by the time they are 24 (if they desire one). I think it is naive to tell the OP that "this is fine" "things will work out" "it will come together eventually". If you are that far from the norm, they might not come together without some intervention.

I think that the OP needs some counseling and psychiatric evaluation. We are only hearing one side of the story, and someone who interacts with him may have very specific advice that we could never ascertain over the internet. There may be a social anxiety disorder, a problem with hygiene, or a personality disorder that is causing this Abnormality.

so, my advice: see someone professionally. now. your life will not come together unless you take an active role.

 

[i61164]

He sounds like a sensitive guy who wants a romance.

What?

 

[INeedAdvice]

What?

So do you think that he's looking to get a quickie tomorrow afternoon? I did not get that impression.

 

[chameleonknight]

Man, can I just say that I love polar bears?

 

[lattimer13]

plus you don't want whiskey dick.

😉

 

[JattMed]

Pork Bellies and Orange Juice are commodities. The things you listed above are qualities.

I agree-however I was using the term 'commodity' figuratively and not literally to assevarate the idea that I consider one's financial and social status on par with other qualities of the person.
I was also putting the idea forth through analogy, which sometimes makes a difficult idea/concept easier to understand.
Furthermore I believe I had said that one can view these 'qualities' as commodities.....which nullifies the above quote in which you inadvertently reaffirm the fact that I mentioned those characteristics as qualities whilst trying to show some sort of perceived error.
See following quote-notice the use of the term 'quality' already?

To me it is the same as liking someone because of the way they laugh or smile-as I said before in the simplest sense any quality can be considered a commodity-your wealth, your height, your color, your job, your hair etc., etc

So stop criticizing me!!! I have been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder J/K........