Pre-app nagging doubts

[Psy01]

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I'll be applying for admission in fall of 2010, and have been on course for that for quite a while now. However, within the last couple months I've been having nagging doubts, basically along the lines of thinking, "Is this really the right choice for me?"

I've always had an ambivalence towards school. I love learning, but I've often fallen prey to the "overjustification effect."

I've always loved psychology though. Even in my free time, I like to read research papers and think about these kinds of things.

I started college intending to go to grad school, but then changed my mind for a while. Then I got back into it last spring (2008), and have been on track since.

But now the nagging doubts and feelings that have been gone for so long are rushing back. One big thing is that I'm not really sure where I stand on research. I've had numerous RA positions, including two right now. Some of my experience with research I've hated, some has been okay, but I haven't really done anything that I've loved. That gives me great pause. But then I wonder if that's really because most of my research work has been as an assistant, rather than conducting my own projects. But I don't know. I love reading papers, thinking critically about the issues, and pondering more questions, but I wonder if there is a disconnect here. Do love thinking about it, but not necessarily doing it?

I've got all kinds of thoughts that pull me back and forth, but I'll stop here for now and ask if anybody else has experienced this or if anyone has any comments?

Thanks.

 

[lookitssara]

I was given some wonderful advice as an undergrad that I wish I had taken more seriously. "Do not do a PhD program unless you love research!"

I am in a position now where I am in a PhD program, chock full of research, wanting to save the world. Amazing program...not for me. I feel so odd not being "hands on" and being a stepped removed. I've realized that it's OK to be interested in things (like specific areas of research) and to not spend the rest of your life in it. The disconnect you speak of is normal. If when you read those articles, you think "hrm, I'd like to take that a step further and research xyz", then maybe you would love research. But if it's more of a "that is so interesting, I wonder how this is being applied in the real world" then research's probably not your thing.

You can still go to grad school though in psych, without devoting your life to research. There are masters programs that are much more applied (like clinical and I/O) that allow for further learning and application of psychology but don't mean a research career.

I've realized that I love psychology, and I want to practice it (for me, in schools). Research is fantastic and I hope to be involved with it throughout my career, but I don't want that as my primary activity or goal. So I have to withdraw from my program and take a year off before starting a new one. Make DAMN sure of what you really want to do before you choose something, that's what I've learned, the hard way.

 

[leavingprov]

I'll be applying for admission in fall of 2010, and have been on course for that for quite a while now. However, within the last couple months I've been having nagging doubts, basically along the lines of thinking, "Is this really the right choice for me?"

I've always had an ambivalence towards school. I love learning, but I've often fallen prey to the "overjustification effect."

I've always loved psychology though. Even in my free time, I like to read research papers and think about these kinds of things.

I started college intending to go to grad school, but then changed my mind for a while. Then I got back into it last spring (2008), and have been on track since.

But now the nagging doubts and feelings that have been gone for so long are rushing back. One big thing is that I'm not really sure where I stand on research. I've had numerous RA positions, including two right now. Some of my experience with research I've hated, some has been okay, but I haven't really done anything that I've loved. That gives me great pause. But then I wonder if that's really because most of my research work has been as an assistant, rather than conducting my own projects. But I don't know. I love reading papers, thinking critically about the issues, and pondering more questions, but I wonder if there is a disconnect here. Do love thinking about it, but not necessarily doing it?

I've got all kinds of thoughts that pull me back and forth, but I'll stop here for now and ask if anybody else has experienced this or if anyone has any comments?

Thanks.

lookitssara has pretty much hit the nail on the head. A little from my own experience-- as I've mentioned in other posts-- I came to terms with a similar realization after being involved in a number of RA jobs and not really feeling passionate about the actual work. I loved and still love thinking conceptually and academically about research and its applications. But I realized that conducting research could not be the single most important focus of 4+ years in graduate school. I ended up applying to balanced Ph.D. and Psy.D. programs with a number of interviews at both types of schools. In the long run, I ended up chosing to attend a great Psy.D. program and, though I am just starting out, I have thought every day so far about how this choice was the right one for me. Not only that, but (as sara was implying), there are many opportunities to get involved in more applied research in Psy.D. programs if you keep an eye out.

Trust your gut and heart and not what you have heard or believe is the 'right' way to do this.

 

[Psy01]

If when you read those articles, you think "hrm, I'd like to take that a step further and research xyz", then maybe you would love research. But if it's more of a "that is so interesting, I wonder how this is being applied in the real world" then research's probably not your thing..

Well, I do frequently think of how I'd like to test things further. BUT, it's always with the latter question in mind. That is really where my interests lie.

I've realized that I love psychology, and I want to practice it (for me, in schools). Research is fantastic and I hope to be involved with it throughout my career, but I don't want that as my primary activity or goal.

This is my sentiment as well. It's not that I want nothing to do with research, but it's that I don't want that to be my focus. I want something where the primary concern is the application of psychology, with maybe some research work interspersed.

 

[Psy01]

I loved and still love thinking conceptually and academically about research and its applications. But I realized that conducting research could not be the single most important focus of 4+ years in graduate school.

Yes, I'm really feeling this way. I think it's that I love the IDEA of research more than the actual process of research. I mean, I love what research can do, and I love the products of research, but actually doing it I'm much less enthusiastic about.

Trust your gut and heart and not what you have heard or believe is the 'right' way to do this.

This is indeed something I'm trying to do. It's hard though, because I've got competing impulses that, as I mentioned, pull me back and forth. Very tough to see through that, for a number of reasons. Right now, my gut seems to be saying to not do a PhD. It could just be that I haven't had the right experiences, but I have no trouble seeing myself going insane over tons of research work to do.

Another tough thing is that I've been on this track for so long now, and I've got people really behind me in it. For example, when we were discussing the difficulty of getting accepted to clinical PhD programs, one of my professors said to me earlier this year that, "if this is a just world, you'll be accepted to a good program."

That's the kind of backing I have, and I feel now like I'd be actually letting them down if I didn't go for a PhD.

I will do what I think is best for me though. If that means no PhD, then I'll just have to deal with that.

 

[jenn1015]

I'm kind of in the same boat. I've been studying for the GREs like crazy (taking them next month.. should be studying now, actually..) and doing everything I can to try to make myself a better candidate for PhD programs by getting involved in as many research projects as possible, etc. I've been saying for over a year that PhD Clinical is what I want to do, yet I don't see myself devoting my life to research, either. I like it, a lot even, and would like to stay involved in it, but not make a life out of it. Sometimes I wonder if it's the way I really want to go, but then I just dismiss the doubt and keep on trucking. I guess I'm not 100% sure I'm making the right decision, but honestly, I don't know that I'm ever 100% sure about anything.... haha

 

[Ollie123]

Not trying to sway people towards a research career if it isn't what they want, but I feel obliged to mention something given my current coursework. Much of the time people here seem to assume that research means being on the basic science side of things, looking at how dopamine receptor mutations affect neural responses, etc. Some people love that work (I am one of them!), but the research world has a lot more to offer.

There's plenty of research opportunities out there that primarily involve working with patient populations, testing new treatments, and yes, even seeing clients a fair portion of the time. To push it a step further, there has been an increased focus lately on dissemination and implementation, and making sure good treatments are not only developed, but are being used in "real-world" settings. In other words, people asking questions about what stops current practitioners from adopting new treatments, people writing grants to give different kinds of workshops, go into school systems and community mental health centers to work with people on improving practices, etc.

I don't know what your experiences with research have been like, but if you haven't been in a more "applied" lab, it might be worth considering. We definitely need more folks who are in the middle in this field. Depending on what kind of labs you have been involved in, I'd at least make sure you've thought through the many different kinds of research because the questions you ask sound like you might very well be one of those "middle" people we need more of.

 

[leavingprov]

Not trying to sway people towards a research career if it isn't what they want, but I feel obliged to mention something given my current coursework. Much of the time people here seem to assume that research means being on the basic science side of things, looking at how dopamine receptor mutations affect neural responses, etc. Some people love that work (I am one of them!), but the research world has a lot more to offer.

There's plenty of research opportunities out there that primarily involve working with patient populations, testing new treatments, and yes, even seeing clients a fair portion of the time. To push it a step further, there has been an increased focus lately on dissemination and implementation, and making sure good treatments are not only developed, but are being used in "real-world" settings. In other words, people asking questions about what stops current practitioners from adopting new treatments, people writing grants to give different kinds of workshops, go into school systems and community mental health centers to work with people on improving practices, etc.

I don't know what your experiences with research have been like, but if you haven't been in a more "applied" lab, it might be worth considering. We definitely need more folks who are in the middle in this field. Depending on what kind of labs you have been involved in, I'd at least make sure you've thought through the many different kinds of research because the questions you ask sound like you might very well be one of those "middle" people we need more of.

I think this is really useful insight into some of the work the Ph.D. peeps do. I can confess to getting pretty drawn into the work of some of my POIs in the Ph.D. programs I applied to mainly because their work was far more grounded in the realities of clinical settings than some of the past authors I had read or spoken to at my undergraduate school (which has no clinical program). For you future applicanets, definitely think through the kinds of research you can see yourself doing and, if you are competitive for and excited about certain Ph.D. programs, then apply to ones with a 'balance' (see other threads on this topic x1000, insiders guide, etc). But also consider some good Psy.D. programs with commitments to ESTs, treatment dissemination, evaluation, etc., as well, when they line up with your interests.

Psy01, I had a professor/mentor with a Ph.D. who (semi-) jokingly told me that if I applied to any Psy.D. programs he would refuse to write me a LoR. I applied anyway and he wrote me a fabulous letter which I do believe helped my application immensely. The moral of the story is: it's great you have supportive people behind you! They will very likely support you in whatever direction you head!

 

[Psy01]

There's plenty of research opportunities out there that primarily involve working with patient populations, testing new treatments, and yes, even seeing clients a fair portion of the time. To push it a step further, there has been an increased focus lately on dissemination and implementation, and making sure good treatments are not only developed, but are being used in "real-world" settings.

This is a large part of why I haven't decided against PhD yet. My top program is one that espouses a very middle approach, in which each component of the "scientist-practitioner" enhances the other. And there is a lot of focus on psychotherapy research.

I've long been a fan of that program, but unfortunately, it's one of the few that I've felt enthusiastic about. I have a list in front of me of 25 programs that I took note of, and less than half of them seem okay. Some of them are simply too slanted toward research, whereas others I'm just not really into any of the work done there.

 

[leavingprov]

This is a large part of why I haven't decided against PhD yet. My top program is one that espouses a very middle approach, in which each component of the "scientist-practitioner" enhances the other. And there is a lot of focus on psychotherapy research.

I've long been a fan of that program, but unfortunately, it's one of the few that I've felt enthusiastic about. I have a list in front of me of 25 programs that I took note of, and less than half of them seem okay. Some of them are simply too slanted toward research, whereas others I'm just not really into any of the work done there.

Curious what program(s) you're talking about/interested in... could you elaborate here or in PM if you're not comfortable sharing publicly?

Thanks!

 

[cara susanna]

I'm kind of curious, too!

 

[futureapppsy2]

misposted