Pregnancy and Honesty in Residency Interview

[Campy Lobacter]

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[streetdoc]

This topic came up a few times while I was on the interview trail. I don't plan on having kids, but the fact is is that if you are female the potential is there. Programs know this. I felt that all but a handful of programs seemed willing to work with residents on this issue (PM me if you want details). For me, I would not say anything unless you are 9 months pregnant at the interview because you may change your mind or something may come up and you either do not or can not become pregnant. There is no reason to state your plan unless it is 100%.
I would also be more worried about how your fellow residents would feel since they will be ones to cover your shifts.
Good luck,
streetdoc

Hi all. So, I've got a bit of a personal predicament that I'm hoping you can shed a little light on.

I'm a new MS-4 looking forward to applying for the Match this year in E.M. Unfortunately, due to some unexpected health problems, my husband and I need to try to start a family in the near future if we want to have children.
I do not want to postpone the Match or take time off school.

Herein lies the problem. Though I'm well aware of the the "discriminatory" nature of asking prospective residents about their plans for starting a family, I know that these questions get asked anyway. How do I answer my interviewer? Do I decline to answer their question, citing its discriminatory status, meanwhile making myself look suspicious or like a kill-joy at the very least? Or, do I answer the question honestly, stating that I plan to have children in the near future, and risk losing potential job offers? I guess I'm also concerned about how the program director would react to my desire to have children--I would hate to start a program knowing they were unsupportive my decision and/or cause problems. Am I better off being honest for that reason? Residencies aren't entities unto themselves either--they talk. By telling one program about my "family plans" am I risking job consideration at other hospitals?

I'm feeling frustrated. I'd really love a little advice if anyone has any. Preferably good advice, but I'll take what I can get. 😀

 

[The White Coat Investor]

Don't ask, don't tell. Seriously.

 

[Marc Squillante]

Disagree w/Active Duty. It's an illegal question to ask in the first place, so you can decline to answer. Plus, if you're not pregnant, there's nothing to tell. It's nobody's business but your own whether you're going to try and start a family (there are no guarantees, sounds like there are some issues you have that may impact this anyway). Even if you were pregnant at an interview, you're not obligated to bring it up (alhtough it might be difficult to avoid if you were obviously pregnant, i.e., 3rd trimester). If you would be having a baby and it would impact your being able to start in July, or if you'd be having the baby soon after starting, then by all means you need to be up front with the PD about that. If you get pregnant during your training, let your PD know ASAP so that they can work on adjusting rotation schedules, etc. For most programs it's not an issue, as long as we know in advance so that we can plan schedules.

Most programs have a maternity policy of some sort, so I would refer to that also. People need to have their kids when they need to have them, programs can't make that decision for them. No doubt it's more challenging to be a parent as a resident with the hours you're working, but most everyone gets through it just fine. If a program seems upset or put off by your concerns, then it's probably not a place you want to go train anyway- you might not be comfortable there.

Just my $0.02 worth as a long-time EM program director.

 

[DrQuinn]

WOW! From the depths of the sea comes a person who was here when I was a wee bit M1 and was so proud of a DO being faculty (albeit, even a big wig) at an MD residency! Welcome back!!!!!!!!

Q

Disagree w/Active Duty. It's an illegal question to ask in the first place, so you can decline to answer. Plus, if you're not pregnant, there's nothing to tell. It's nobody's business but your own whether you're going to try and start a family (there are no guarantees, sounds like there are some issues you have that may impact this anyway). Even if you were pregnant at an interview, you're not obligated to bring it up (alhtough it might be difficult to avoid if you were obviously pregnant, i.e., 3rd trimester). If you would be having a baby and it would impact your being able to start in July, or if you'd be having the baby soon after starting, then by all means you need to be up front with the PD about that. If you get pregnant during your training, let your PD know ASAP so that they can work on adjusting rotation schedules, etc. For most programs it's not an issue, as long as we know in advance so that we can plan schedules.

Most programs have a maternity policy of some sort, so I would refer to that also. People need to have their kids when they need to have them, programs can't make that decision for them. No doubt it's more challenging to be a parent as a resident with the hours you're working, but most everyone gets through it just fine. If a program seems upset or put off by your concerns, then it's probably not a place you want to go train anyway- you might not be comfortable there.

Just my $0.02 worth as a long-time EM program director.

 

[BeetleMama]

Well, it's not always that easy to have babies, just because you are going to start trying doesn't mean you're going to be successful right away. Don't damage today with what might happen tomorrow. We decided to have a baby, then after three years of no contraception & no conception, we resigned ourselves that it was never going to happen - then I got pregnant. He's four and a half now and we've never managed a brother or sister for him.

Say "well, eventually we will want them" - there's no defined timeline on "eventually".

But I hope it does happen real quick for you 🙂

 

[EM_Rebuilder]

I wouldnt lie and I think the advice given thus far is great.

One thing to remember is that Emergency Medicine is a relatively "family friendly" field. I ran in to mostly married people or significantly attached people while interviewing and there are only a few non-married (and most of those, me included, are sig attached) at my current program.


Personally, if I ran into a program or PD that was 'against' family, I would run away. That sounds important to you so your new residency family should be supportive of you, or you may find yourself unhappy in a few years....

 

[Perrin]

I wouldnt lie and I think the advice given thus far is great.

One thing to remember is that Emergency Medicine is a relatively "family friendly" field. I ran in to mostly married people or significantly attached people while interviewing and there are only a few non-married (and most of those, me included, are sig attached) at my current program.


Personally, if I ran into a program or PD that was 'against' family, I would run away. That sounds important to you so your new residency family should be supportive of you, or you may find yourself unhappy in a few years....

Welcome to Jackson, EM_rebuilder.

/hijack

 

[The White Coat Investor]

Disagree w/Active Duty. .

Wait a minute, where do we disagree again? The residency director can't ask (seems like we agree there) the potential resident shouldn't tell (seems like we agree there.) The resident should tell (I didn't talk about this, but I certainly agree with your stated opinion on the matter.)

 

[Marc Squillante]

ActiveDuty- perhaps I misinterpreted what you were trying to convey. We agree on don't ask, but the don't tell obviously depends on the situation(s) as I described them. You differentiate between the "potential" resident (interviewing but not yet in the program) and "resident" (in the program), which is an important distinction. If that's what you were heading for, then I guess we agree. Thanks for adding to the discussion.

 

[drakken]

If someone needs to take time for maternity leave how exactly does that work. I guess the other residents have to cover those shifts but with hourly restrictions does that mean just being shorthanded during that time. How would or could the intern catch up on what they missed? I would expect during the month before delivery if they are not off it would be pretty tough to do certain things. Just curious about all this, does anyone know who has been through it or maybe just had to deal with the consequences of having someone pregnant early on. Thanks.

 

[bulgethetwine]

If someone needs to take time for maternity leave how exactly does that work. I guess the other residents have to cover those shifts but with hourly restrictions does that mean just being shorthanded during that time. How would or could the intern catch up on what they missed? I would expect during the month before delivery if they are not off it would be pretty tough to do certain things. Just curious about all this, does anyone know who has been through it or maybe just had to deal with the consequences of having someone pregnant early on. Thanks.

1. I agree with Active Duty - in the interview stage, Don't ask, Don't tell. But know that your fellow interns will loathe you when you have to pull the shoot for maternity leave. Or sooner if you have complications, get severe morning sickness, whatver. This is because they will end up, inevitably covering some of your shifts. Your classmates will likely get over it, but understand it's human nature.

2. The intern, in order to "catch up" will have their residency extended. Not much debate there.

Oh, and for the record? I bet Drakken is pregnant!

Good luck.

 

[drakken]

1. I agree with Active Duty - in the interview stage, Don't ask, Don't tell. But know that your fellow interns will loathe you when you have to pull the shoot for maternity leave. Or sooner if you have complications, get severe morning sickness, whatver. This is because they will end up, inevitably covering some of your shifts. Your classmates will likely get over it, but understand it's human nature.

2. The intern, in order to "catch up" will have their residency extended. Not much debate there.

Oh, and for the record? I bet Drakken is pregnant!

Good luck.

Only if guys can have babies and the last I heard that is not possible. LOL! I was just curious since I have a friend who thinks she is pregnant and is worried about it.

 

[gutonc]

If someone needs to take time for maternity leave how exactly does that work. I guess the other residents have to cover those shifts but with hourly restrictions does that mean just being shorthanded during that time. How would or could the intern catch up on what they missed? I would expect during the month before delivery if they are not off it would be pretty tough to do certain things. Just curious about all this, does anyone know who has been through it or maybe just had to deal with the consequences of having someone pregnant early on. Thanks.

Depends on your program. If you're lucky and get pregnant in the last half of the year then you won't deliver until the next academic year and the schedule can be changed to accomodate delivery and maternity leave. The most important thing is to tell your PD and Chief(s) ASAP so they can make schedule changes. Usually (assuming it's a program w/ >5 residents which may not always be the case of course) 4-6 wks off can be integrated into the schedule w/o too much trauma and the larger the program, the less stressful it will be. A number of female residents in our program have had babies in the past year and the only time it caused any real problem was when one of the chiefs went into premature labor while one of the other chiefs (we have 3 total) was still on maternity leave. OTW no big issues.

Unless you take only 4-6wks off (which is really hard to do unless you have 24h live-in help) you will graduate off-cycle. It's not the end of the world and fellowship programs usually can and will deal w/ this.

 

[diamondbum]

I agree with many of the above in that I probably wouldn't talk about it in my interview, however, it would be very wise of you to talk at length with some of the residents, find out if it's been done at that program, and then talk to the resident(s) involved to see how smoothly (or not) everything went with the program. As far as finding those programs, a lot of them have resident profiles up on their website, so look for women with children.