Pregnancy in med school

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apphelp222

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My husband and I are both 31 years old and want to start our family before getting into high risk. The thing is I just started my first year of medical school and the work load seems crazy to bring a baby into. We would have support from family but I also would like to have a pregnancy with minimal stress so it doesn’t effect the baby. I just wanted to see if anyone had any advice on what year in medical school they would say would be the most doable to have a baby. As of now I think having the baby summer year 2 or after taking my step 2/after year 3. My main concern with year 2 would be clinical rotations, are these local or would I have to travel for these? If so, Do schools usually offer accommodations for parents allowing for them to rotate locally instead?

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Would probably be tough to balance baby and clinical rotations. Much easier preclinical years but then again, you’d probably regret not having one if you waited and it’s not like residency would be any easier.

As far as I know, most DO schools have rotations all over the place but not sure if you could get a waiver or something to stay close. The allopath school I attend grants waivers for mothers/fathers even though are furthest possible location is like 30 min away. Don’t see a school not granting one for longer distances especially

Agree with goro that a break might be a better way to do it
 
There is never a good time to have a kid. Do what will make you and your partner happy. Parenting in med school is definitely challenging but it won't break you (maybe instead of pan-honoring you honor half your classes or rotations. Ultimately you still graduate and will be a parent!)
 
I had classmates with children, students who had children, and residency classmates who had children during medical training. It is certainly doable, there are just many variables, school support, spousal support, and family support. There is no one solution for everyone. My wife delivered as a 4th year resident and I was an attending. We hired a full time sitter during the week. We arranged our weekend call so we would not both be on call. I think having children during pre clinical might be slightly better than during clinical as there is more flexibility with free time. Having children during training is a very personal decision and issues can arise. It can also impact others. 3 of my residency classmates got pregnant the same year, one went on bedrest for a couple months. This resulted in significant increase in call for the rest of us. Good luck and best wishes on whatever you decide.
 
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As a person who has given birth 3 times, and as a current medical student this is my advice to you: Do not mix child birth and your pre-clinical years!!!! Forget for a moment pregnancy brain fog and just focus on recovery from birth and sleep deprivation: these go on for MONTHS if not a year or more after birth. CAN you do it? Maybe, and yes, people have. I've had a lot more struggles than your run-of-the-mill medical student and still passed everything just fine and on time. But it will certainly make everything that much harder, and plenty of medical students without such a tremendous stressor fail in their first 2 years! I would try to aim for after the end of 2nd year and after you take Step/Level 1. That puts you at 33? And then after that pregnancy you can decide if you want another. Sure it's a little higher risk but it's still pretty low risk relatively speaking. And every pregnancy has risk, and you never know what you're going to get anyway so pregnancy is pretty much a coin toss 100% of the time! Either you want to take that risk or you don't. You would have a great reason if you needed to take a LOA in year 3 or 4.

How you get placed for rotations is up to your school, but if you have a kid the first 2 years it's not like you're going to get any more consideration on your placement than you would if you have a child in year 3 or 4. I've known 3 people who had babies while in medical school. One quit medical school altogether, one took a year off after a pregnancy in year 1 (and I think she would tell you that year 2 was significantly harder after that pause), and one finished on time but really struggled and went into the match only looking at community FM residency programs.

Another option to consider would be going into residency pregnant: start trying as applications close and just keep trying. I know a pregnant intern and her residency program has been supportive. I think it's much less likely to be a concern raised if you don't have children (because most medical students don't) than if you have 1 child going into it. If you don't have children yet and someone actually asked you about it you can come up with some sort of vague answer that feels true but doesn't say "I'm dying to have a child ASAP"

In the end, getting pregnant isn't an exact science, so you will have to see where the chips fall. I just know that, having gone through medical school with significant hardships and 3 kids seems way easier than having a baby in year 1 or 2!!
 
3rd year of med school is doable
 
@apphelp222 here is an important question that I don't think anyone has asked--are you planning on having one baby, or multiple? One baby is somewhat easier to plan. If your ideal family includes 2, 3, or even more kids... I really don't see how you can delay.

As others have said, whether and how to have kids is an extremely personal decision, and you can never get things down to an exact science. You or your partner could have fertility issues. You could have a miscarriage. Your family could suddenly have a crisis that means you have to put baby planning on hold. And while there are better and worse times in training to plan to have kids, you can't always plan those other variables. As my wife and I were also in our 30s when we were ready to have kids, we ultimately just decided to make the babies and figure it out later.

I will also say this--as difficult as preclinical studying may be, it does not get any easier. Clinical rotations are harder than preclinical, residency is harder than med school, and fellowship/junior attendinghood is harder than residency. And the baby doesn't become "easy" after 6-12 months either. For all of these reasons, whenever I give advice on these kinds of questions, I almost always advise people that if they and their partner are ready to just go for it. But ultimately it's a question that only you and your partner can make.

As to your specific questions regarding rotations, that is going to be school-dependent on the kinds of accommodations that are possible. There may or may not be something in your school handbook which addresses this, and what is in the handbook may or may not reflect what actually happens IRL. I suspect you don't really want to talk about family planning with your dean, but if there are upper level students who had kids during school they might be a good person to talk to in order to get a sense of how your school handles cases where students have a kid during school.

Good luck.
 
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I’m in a similar situation starting med school next year. My wife and I want kids. We have talked about it a bit and are trying to figure out if having a kid during my last year of med school vs the beginning of residency would be more ideal. The current plan is that in residency she won’t have to work and we can rely on my meager salary to get us by for a year. I’m currently interested in Neuro/IM.
For those that have gone through it what would you advise?
 
I’m in a similar situation starting med school next year. My wife and I want kids. We have talked about it a bit and are trying to figure out if having a kid during my last year of med school vs the beginning of residency would be more ideal. The current plan is that in residency she won’t have to work and we can rely on my meager salary to get us by for a year. I’m currently interested in Neuro/IM.
For those that have gone through it what would you advise?
Not in residency but am a parent in med school (applying for Neuro this cycle).

Kid in med school is much easier. The earlier the better too. You have more control over your life and hours M1/M2 than M3, and definitely more over residency.
 
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When I was a resident, an older resident (like in his 50’s) response to me taking about when to have a kid, “#### just have kids. Don’t talk about it, just have them!”

He was a bit gruff and there certainly was some cultural differences, but as I have a 7 and 5 y/o and am 37, i see his point.

There isn’t a good time to have kids, but young kids are a young person’s game. Way harder than residency (at least IM residency). Also my wife noticed pregnancy To be much harder at 30 than 28. She is/was in great shape. Kids will make a significant effect on your “free time” and ability to work
 
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