Prostate Exams and your significant other's opinion

Burrell College of Osteopathic Medicine
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Caboose

Caboose

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I did my first prostate exam on a model this morning. It's weird, so I've talked about it at home before - just as I did with the gyn exam although much more limited. I'm not going on and on about the details, but it's part of my life.

Maybe I'm insensitive because I'm immersed in it all day. He says that the majority of guys wouldn't want to hear the slightest mention of their girl examining male genitalia, even if they're forced to have it in the back of their mind. I just mentioned it in the context of another story & BAM! Results were not ideal.

My question: Is it truly that big of a deal for significant others, in your experience, to accept genitalia exams? If so, what other things do I not want to talk about at home?? I'm obviously oblivious.

Just curious what you guys have experienced.

Back to the books
Caboose.
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Your boyfriend has nothing to worry about...there isn't anything attractive about male genitalia anyway. :uhno:

I can't be of much help because my sig other is also a med student, and as soon as I came home from my first male exam I did the cremaster reflex on him. That ish is cool. What I would suggest is to tell him that there is absolutely nothing sexual or romantic about a genital exam. While the patients may view it differently, for urologists or gynecologists, it's just like any other part of the body and is looked at in only a professional manner.

Ask him what other topics may bother him so you know beforehand. But I think it's perfectly reasonable to say that in the future you hope you can talk about things that bother you/interest you/etc.
 
My GF was actually interested when I told her about my first gyn exam. Sounds like your man might be a little insecure. If he doesn't want to hear about it he doesn't have to, just let him know that there is nothing sexual about a medical exam.
 
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My wife just thinks it's gross that I have to do genital exams and rectal exams (male or female). She doesn't particularly want to hear about them, but then again she also doesn't want to hear about the abdomen full of succus or the open fracture, etc.

This sounds like either insecurity or a failure to understand just how un-sexy a clinical exam is.
 
I would hope that a grown adult man or woman would be more mature than to get jealous over a rectal or pelvic exam...
 
My wife's a nurse and does stuff like putting in Foleys on a regular basis. I couldn't care less. Sounds like your SO is just insecure. I'm on OB/GYN this month, and I really, REALLY doubt my wife cares either. Like southernIM said, it's probably not obvious to some lay people just how UN-sexy a clinical exam is.
 
I can understand not wanting to hear it because it isn't normal dinner conversation. That being said, if it is because he is jealous of you touching some balls then he needs to buck up and quit being so sensitive.
 
Caboose said:
I did my first prostate exam on a model this morning. It's weird, so I've talked about it at home before - just as I did with the gyn exam although much more limited. I'm not going on and on about the details, but it's part of my life.

Maybe I'm insensitive because I'm immersed in it all day. He says that the majority of guys wouldn't want to hear the slightest mention of their girl examining male genitalia, even if they're forced to have it in the back of their mind. I just mentioned it in the context of another story & BAM! Results were not ideal.

My question: Is it truly that big of a deal for significant others, in your experience, to accept genitalia exams? If so, what other things do I not want to talk about at home?? I'm obviously oblivious.

Just curious what you guys have experienced.

Back to the books
Caboose.
Click to expand...

Your significant other sounds like a nob. Tell him to grow up and grow some balls.
 
If prostate exam turns you on: You're weird.

If boyfriend thinks prostate exam turns you on: He's weird.
 
Lmao, this thread is great!
 
Anyone else find it... eh, odd that this thread was started by Caboose.
 
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My girlfriend knows I love boobs. They're round, soft, comforting, nourishing, beautiful, majestic... I could go on. When we learned to do breast exams I told my girlfriend. Knowing my fondness of boobs, she got a little worried because of all the boobs I'll be touching. I quieted her concerns quite easily. I simply explained to her that doing a breast exam is the least sexy thing in the world. I'm looking for lumps, discharge, and other things that are bad. If I find something, that might mean cancer. Cancer is not sexy. When I do a breast exam, my mind is on the pathology of breasts. I'm more concerned that I'll find a lump that could change or devastate this woman's life than I am about how nice her boobs are. Try doing the same so your man knows you're not jumping at the bits to do male genital exams and that when you're examining it, it's not different than examining an elbow to you.
 
Caboose said:
I did my first prostate exam on a model this morning. It's weird, so I've talked about it at home before - just as I did with the gyn exam although much more limited. I'm not going on and on about the details, but it's part of my life.

Maybe I'm insensitive because I'm immersed in it all day. He says that the majority of guys wouldn't want to hear the slightest mention of their girl examining male genitalia, even if they're forced to have it in the back of their mind. I just mentioned it in the context of another story & BAM! Results were not ideal.

My question: Is it truly that big of a deal for significant others, in your experience, to accept genitalia exams? If so, what other things do I not want to talk about at home?? I'm obviously oblivious.

Just curious what you guys have experienced.

Back to the books
Caboose.
Click to expand...

You poke men's rear ends and your name is Caboose. Just thought it was funny. 🙂
 
Even on an attractive person of the sex of your preference I can't see how a pelvic or rectal exam would be in any way erotic/stimulating...
 
AmoryBlaine said:
Even on an attractive person of the sex of your preference I can't see how a pelvic or rectal exam would be in any way erotic/stimulating...
Click to expand...

That is actually a pretty popular fetish...

I don't understand it though...
 
The male/female exams weren't nearly as bad as I thought they would be.... though at the same time they are by no means "fun", so your bf really shouldn't be worried.

My wife had no problem with it, and didn't want to hear about.... mainly because she gets grossed out easily and I can't really talk "shop" with her.

I'll give our standardized patients credit though, I certainly wouldn't do that job.
 
It's simpler if you simply get hooked up with another healthcare professional. Imagine all the discussions at home if the woman is a urologist and the guy is an OB/GYN!
 
lol, have him do a prostate exam so he'll realize just how not at all sexy any of this stuff is. I remember reading a thread on some forum by mostly patients talking about how they thought their doctor was flirting with them during whatever exam (the patients were happy about this belief, not whining/suing) and all I could think was how people can so misconstrue the doctors trying to be friendly as the doctors actually finding any of this stuff sexual.

You know what, just show him a video of people doing this stuff. I think the new england journal of medicine has a bunch of videos on how to do various exams and it'll be pretty obvious just how not sexual any of this is.

And if he gets turned on the GYN exam videos I'd probably dump him for being a weirdo :laugh:
 
^superLOL^
 
I'm going to be nice and sensitive and tell you that your SO needs to get over it.
 
Caboose said:
I'm obviously oblivious.

Click to expand...

My thoughts are essentially the same as others that have posted. It sounds like your boyfriend has some security issues. You're not oblivious, I think you probably just expected your boyfriend to realize that a rectal/genital exam is part of your training.
 
OP- You could have your bf ask his PCP next time to perform one "just to check"... with any luck the guy will do it, and then there will be no question. It is not sexy. It is an anus. One good ol' first hand touch will demonstrate your point. And if it is the genital area that is of bigger concern...

THIS should clear that up. (Don't open at work)
http://thesahara.info/medical/hpv_male_penis_warts.jpg
 
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