20/15 said:
Since I've been working full-time at an optometrist's office and since today it was just me and the doc, I'm really not in the mood to write my personal statement. After thinking about it for 3 days off and on, I'm just not really sure how to tackle this. Any tips from those of you who've finished your apps? I guess the fact that I'm kinda late in the process is dragging down my morale too.
Perhaps my real question is: what exactly is there to say that the admissions committees haven't read already after years and years and hundreds of apps? Is the personal statement really weighed that heavily?
I've read dozens of personal statements as a writing tutor, and I almost always see an excessive use of generalized words. If you truly want to be different, every paragraph in your personal statement should have specifics, including:
- Names of people
- Names of organizations you were involved with
- Specific places
- Numbers/statistics
- Dates (at least the month or school term)
This prevents your personal statement from being overly generalized:
Generalized: "I know I can face the challenges of optometry school because I can balance school and work very well."
Specific: "I know I can face the rigorous demands of optometry school because I was able to maintain a 3.8 GPA on top of working 20 hours a week as a writing tutor."
Also: MAKE YOUR PERSONAL STATEMENT CLEAR AND EASY TO READ! I cannot overemphasize this enough! Admissions committees are reading hundreds of these letters and they will be exhausted. You are doing them a favor if your statement is coherently written...BUT I'm not saying to write at a grade school level though. Also, if you do know anything about writing, AVOID PASSIVE VOICE as much as possible because this tends to make reading your statement very tedious!!! Trust me on this - lots of people do this often!
What is "passive voice?" In very rough terms, just avoid using any form of the "to be" verb (is, are, was, were, etc.) They are very weak verbs anyway. Scan your essay and try to reword the sentences that have those "to be" verbs. You don't have to avoid them entirely, but just use them sparingly.
About your last words: Fireworks need to be shooting out of your concluding statements! You really need to emphasize that the optometry school NEEDS you or otherwise they would be at a great loss without you. Remember, a personal statement is pretty much an advertisement that needs to grab the admission committee's attention. You are practically trying to "sell" yourself to them!
Lastly: PROOFREAD, PROOFREAD, PROOFREAD! I sent an essay to NOVA and had a major typo in it. Have your friends, your mom's friends, your dad's friends, and your friends' friends read it!!!
I can't say whether the personal statement is weighed heavily or not, but I know for sure that GPA and OATs are the most significant.
