PTSD/Depression During Rotations

[PharmRX0308]

I'm currently in my very last rotation of pharmacy school. Over the past year, my family has been falling apart and undergoing tremendous crisis. My grandmother passed away and my mother's health is severely declining. I had to withdraw from a rotation last year and is making it up this Summer. However, this happens to be a retail pharmacy rotation, which is historically known for high stress. I am experiencing PTSD and depression after everything that happened to me and my family. This retail rotation is making everything 100 times worse. I was halfway through my previous retail rotation before withdrawing, but then things happened and my school made me start over again at a different site. I can't handle the stress anymore. I was literally crying and thinking of suicide last night, but I got over it. I need advice. I have three options at this point.

1. Withdraw from pharmacy school. I'm already accepted into business school and I'm okay with changing my career path. Seek treatment.
2. Withdraw from this rotation and seek treatment. Complete this rotation at another time and delay my graduation to the following year = Delay business school/career change/another year of pharmacy school.
3. Continue to work through it with PTSD and depression (I find myself almost cried when talking to the customers multiple times a day. I honestly don't know how I can do this)

What would you do if you were me? I need your advice because no one can understand pharmacy better than a pharmacy community forum. Please. Thank you. I know I sounded weak but I can't help. Sorry.

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[beautifulrobot]

Talk to a mental health professional. Your school should have confidential and free short-term counseling services. Talk to your school's director of student affairs and see if they have any other solutions to offer. Talk to your preceptor and see if they can help you get through this rotation. The sooner the better.

 

[rxkrafted]

You need to seek professional help not through this forum. You are going to face stressful situations regardless of which path you take, it is part of life. I honestly would seek professional help before making any decisions but out of those options, number 2 is what I would do. Good luck

 

[Greatpharma]

I agree with the above suggestions that you should seek professional help. Additionally, talk to your school about the options. You finished half of your last rotation. You are so close to graduation. Especially if you've been a leader and a good student in school and have been through so many life crisis but still consistently doing great, I literally think that you deserve on-time graduation. 2-3 more weeks of a retail pharmacy rotation won't make you a better pharmacist than you probably already are. My school would have just let you graduate so that you can focus on dealing with your life issues and seeking mental health treatment. Please talk to your school to see if they can help.

 

[zelman]

Finish your PharmD. Whether it happens this attempt or after treatment, just get through it.

This is probably bad advice, but I would ask my preceptor what I need to do to get a C and nail that bare minimum.

 

[lord999]

I want to echo the advice above, but also state clearly, this is unfortunately normal for many of us (including myself). I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. Grades are trivial compared to this.

 

[PharmtoCS]

Either #1 or #2. Do not continue with #3.

Get treatment before continuing or starting any program.

 

[Xarelto-10]

Take care of YOU first. Everything else will fall in place if you are okay.
As others mentioned take the available avenues to address your emotional well being. Take a less stressful rotation, delay graduation, if it comes down to between choosing your well-being vs a career I’d say again YOU are more important than all of it.
I hope you find some help sooner than latter.
Take care!

 

[Rouelle]

You’re not the only one who has experienced this at your school. A decent school should have protocols in place for this situation. Have a conversation with your dean of students (or equivalent) and see what options they can offer.

 

[Greatpharma]

I wish they could just let you graduate man! I definitely would not do #3 but delaying graduation for a year because of one rotation also sounds horrible. But take care of yourself man. Change career if needed. I mean everything may happen for a reason.

 

[BC_89]

I'm currently in my very last rotation of pharmacy school. Over the past year, my family has been falling apart and undergoing tremendous crisis. My grandmother passed away and my mother's health is severely declining. I had to withdraw from a rotation last year and is making it up this Summer. However, this happens to be a retail pharmacy rotation, which is historically known for high stress. I am experiencing PTSD and depression after everything that happened to me and my family. This retail rotation is making everything 100 times worse. I was halfway through my previous retail rotation before withdrawing, but then things happened and my school made me start over again at a different site. I can't handle the stress anymore. I was literally crying and thinking of suicide last night, but I got over it. I need advice. I have three options at this point.

1. Withdraw from pharmacy school. I'm already accepted into business school and I'm okay with changing my career path. Seek treatment.
2. Withdraw from this rotation and seek treatment. Complete this rotation at another time and delay my graduation to the following year = Delay business school/career change/another year of pharmacy school.
3. Continue to work through it with PTSD and depression (I find myself almost cried when talking to the customers multiple times a day. I honestly don't know how I can do this)

What would you do if you were me? I need your advice because no one can understand pharmacy better than a pharmacy community forum. Please. Thank you. I know I sounded weak but I can't help. Sorry.

Right now you have one necessity: Seek help.

Get in touch with a behavioral health specialist. If you have a primary care physician, typically they can easily give a referral for your situation.

If you know you cannot continue, tell your preceptor, dean, advisor, anyone. If allowed, defer before making drastic decisions.

As a person with PTSD along with other things, I strongly encourage you to put yourself first. With that, this forum is not the primary platform for your situation. We can only give you encouragement and to seek medical help.

 

[PharmDBro2017]

I had a very close family member die 3 days prior to starting my 1st rotation in my 4th year. I was the one that had to perform CPR until paramedics showed up. I have PTSD/grief/flashbacks to this day and will forever more. I understand what you feel, but you can't let it stand in the way of your goals. Your family member would want you to continue to persevere and complete school. You need to grind, work through the pain, seek counseling and professional help if needed. Talk to your school/professors if you need. You can talk to me whenever you need, shoot me a PM.

Continue to grind and beat life's curveballs. Stay strong, believe in yourself. You've made it this far and you can see the finish line of graduation... get there.

 

[PharmRX0308]

Thank you so much for your supportive advices everyone! I talked to my school. They pulled me from the the site and have set me up to talk to a counselor to help me with my situation. Once the counselor thinks I'm ready, the school will let me complete my last rotation at another site again. My graduation will be delayed to December. I think withdrawing from a rotation several times is seriously hurting my self-esteem and confidence, and looking at my friends who already finish their MPJE/NAPLEX and go on international trips makes me feel like trash (I'm happy for them though). I'm glad that I can have some break and help though. I wish I could just recover as fast as possible and finish this last rotation. Unfortunately, it has to be a retail site, but I hope I can get an easy one with an easy preceptor. I just want it to be over and move on from pharmacy school. Anyway, thanks so much again!

 

[projektreverb]

Glad you did the right thing and sought out help!!

 

[BC_89]

Thank you so much for your supportive advices everyone! I talked to my school. They pulled me from the the site and have set me up to talk to a counselor to help me with my situation. Once the counselor thinks I'm ready, the school will let me complete my last rotation at another site again. My graduation will be delayed to December. I think withdrawing from a rotation several times is seriously hurting my self-esteem and confidence, and looking at my friends who already finish their MPJE/NAPLEX and go on international trips makes me feel like trash (I'm happy for them though). I'm glad that I can have some break and help though. I wish I could just recover as fast as possible and finish this last rotation. Unfortunately, it has to be a retail site, but I hope I can get an easy one with an easy preceptor. I just want it to be over and move on from pharmacy school. Anyway, thanks so much again!

Congrats OP, I wish you the best!

 

[Rxxxpharmd]

Thank you so much for your supportive advices everyone! I talked to my school. They pulled me from the the site and have set me up to talk to a counselor to help me with my situation. Once the counselor thinks I'm ready, the school will let me complete my last rotation at another site again. My graduation will be delayed to December. I think withdrawing from a rotation several times is seriously hurting my self-esteem and confidence, and looking at my friends who already finish their MPJE/NAPLEX and go on international trips makes me feel like trash (I'm happy for them though). I'm glad that I can have some break and help though. I wish I could just recover as fast as possible and finish this last rotation. Unfortunately, it has to be a retail site, but I hope I can get an easy one with an easy preceptor. I just want it to be over and move on from pharmacy school. Anyway, thanks so much again!

Please don’t feel like trash! I was in your shoes once when I failed 2 courses my p1 year but I overcame and graduated on time. Also, your friends are just getting into MORE DEBT by going on trips instead of saving money and paying off student loans!

 

[TianjinNVhai]

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