Q on pre-interview dinner

[cheruka]

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So, the interview invite says I can take my spouse with me for the dinner. I have a little child and wondering if I should take him too or leave the spouse with the child...It seems like I will have to go alone. Or should I ask the coordinator?

 

[VneZonyDostupa]

Leave the kid at home. This is a dinner meant to introduce you to possible future colleagues, not a family get-together.

 

[Anne2009]

Is it appropriate to bring a significant other if a program invites them to come with you to the dinner?

 

[ICmyFuture]

Is it ok to get a to go order on the school's dime for the SO?

 

[Law2Doc]

Is it ok to get a to go order on the school's dime for the SO?

No. Would you do this at a job interview? Please.

 

[ICmyFuture]

No. Would you do this at a job interview? Please.

Sorry was trolling a little😛

 

[Law2Doc]

Is it appropriate to bring a significant other if a program invites them to come with you to the dinner?

I probably would limit it only to the most significant of SOs, ie spouses, fiancees, life partners. And even then bear in mind that their performance will reflect on you. This isn't purely a social event, it's part of the job interview. I've seen plenty of cases where bringing a spouse didn't work in an applicants favor "guy was boring -- too bad his wife's not applying" or vice versa. Sometimes it's just easier to be able to control the situation rather than hope that your SO is a team player or doesn't outshine you.

 

[twright]

Is it appropriate to bring a significant other if a program invites them to come with you to the dinner?

If they say it is open to SO's then it is open to SO's.

 

[Law2Doc]

If they say it is open to SO's then it is open to SO's.

Just because it's permitted doesn't always mean it's a good idea, though. You know your SO better than us. Just be sure to regard it as a job interview rather than purely a social event, because the impressions you and your SO make will affect ranking.

 

[Winged Scapula]

I would find it too hard to concentrate on my own behavior during the event if I was also having to keep tabs on an SO and make sure they aren't revealing some personality flaws I have to my potential future colleagues.

 

[shan564]

I think it's probably better not to do it, unless the PD specifically told you that they'd like to meet your SO. You don't want to stand out for being the only person to bring your SO to the dinner...

 

[Law2Doc]

I would find it too hard to concentrate on my own behavior during the event if I was also having to keep tabs on an SO and make sure they aren't revealing some personality flaws I have to my potential future colleagues.

Precisely. You want to control the situation as much as possible and leave there having put your best foot forward. Sometimes having a SO who is on the same page can help, but most of the time people have picked SOs for reasons other than their ability to play wingman/woman in a job interview dinner setting. Just be aware you aren't bringing a date to the event, you are bringing an asset/liability. Many thus choose to go it alone and exercise maximum control over the situation. There will be plenty of events you can bring your SO to once you are in.

 

[thecampuslegend]

Precisely. You want to control the situation as much as possible and leave there having put your best foot forward. Sometimes having a SO who is on the same page can help, but most of the time people have picked SOs for reasons other than their ability to play wingman/woman in a job interview dinner setting. Just be aware you aren't bringing a date to the event, you are bringing an asset/liability. Many thus choose to go it alone and exercise maximum control over the situation. There will be plenty of events you can bring your SO to once you are in.

i couldn't agree with this any more! 😎
Leave the spouse, children and pets at home.
Control your environment the best you can, this is a time to focus on yourself. Sure, having your SO there might put you more at ease - but remember, a little bit of anxiety and stress improves your focus. You want to be on your toes, not slouched back in a chair looking like Joe Cool.