Questions about familial relationships during interviews

[billchacho]

So I was browsing this old thread:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/weirdest-most-uncomfortable-interview-question.1048400/

And I see that a lot of interviewees were asked about their relationships with their family (e.g. How close are you with your brother? What do they do for a living? etc.).

Is this a common question? What's the most tactful way to address it if you have an extremely dysfucntional family?

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[ngc 2170]

Is that common? I never had such a question throughout my interviews and would have considered it both irrelevant and intrusive.

 

[nwts]

I actually think that is borderline inappropriate. That may be something you'd want to report to the admissions office. There are certain things that really are not the business of the interviewer, and they have no reason to ask. If you had brought up your family, that would be one thing. If you hadn't mentioned your family anywhere in your personal statement, secondary, or interview, then I don't find it appropriate for them to ask those kinds of questions.

 

[Lannister]

I got this question in an undergrad interview and it made me so uncomfortable. At the time my family was very dysfunctional (still is, but getting better) but I was too embarrassed to say that so I lied, and I'm sure they saw right through it. I hope I don't get this question again, besides at the few schools I wrote a secondary about my sister for.

 

[nwts]

I'm wondering if it would be too rude to answer with: "I have many interesting experiences and personal attributes that I would love to discuss with you, and I would prefer not to talk about other people."

 

[Affiche]

Yeah I think ^^^ that would be super awkward, especially since you should be able to discuss how you interact with other people (family excluded). My family epitomizes dysfunction and if it comes up I will answer with whatever I'm comfortable with and leave it at that. If it's pressed further, I'll just say that I'm honestly not close with my family and I'm not able to elaborate further. I doubt an interviewer will lack that much social etiquette, though.

 

[Gandyy]

Yea I'm not sure if this is an appropriate question to be asking.

 

[Dr. Death]

I got this question in an undergrad interview and it made me so uncomfortable. At the time my family was very dysfunctional (still is, but getting better) but I was too embarrassed to say that so I lied, and I'm sure they saw right through it. I hope I don't get this question again, besides at the few schools I wrote a secondary about my sister for.

Not many families as dysfunctional as the Lannisters

 

[nwts]

Yeah I think ^^^ that would be super awkward, especially since you should be able to discuss how you interact with other people (family excluded). My family epitomizes dysfunction and if it comes up I will answer with whatever I'm comfortable with and leave it at that. If it's pressed further, I'll just say that I'm honestly not close with my family and I'm not able to elaborate further. I doubt an interviewer will lack that much social etiquette, though.

The problem I have, though, is that a lot of the questions that were asked are not even about how a person relates to others. For example, the "What do your family members do for a living?" question is completely irrelevant to the applicant and his/her attributes and qualifications. This is a difficult situation because being rude to your interviewer could get you rejected, but you also shouldn't have to offer up personal information that isn't the business of the interviewer. The pre-med advising staff at my school specifically talked to us about handling inappropriate questions, and they said we shouldn't answer. I guess I should ask them what we SHOULD say, though...

 

[Affiche]

Eh, I don't find that inappropriate. If a kid comes from a family of doctors, that may have shaped his desire to pursue medicine, which would be something to focus on in the interview.

If my father was a marine and my mother a waitress, it gives light to some of the hurdles I've jumped to get here.

 

[Old&InTheWay]

I think they are mostly making small talk...maybe wanting to find out if you have doctor parents. If you have a difficult family situation and don't want to discuss it, you just say something like, "My family situation is really complicated. We're not very close and it's a difficult subject for me to talk about." You know, show them that you're a mature person who has feelings. Interviews are less about gleaning relevant information, but more about getting a sense of you as a person.

 

[Hospitalized]

If the question is phrased as "Tell me about your family," then respond appropriately with YOUR family. Not your parents' family. This can be a test of maturity. If you immediately skip to saying "I do/don't have siblings, this is my parental situation, etc." an adcom might see this unfavorably, seeing you as a child as opposed to an adult.

Source

 

[Goro]

It's not something I nor my colleagues would ever ask, and the only reason i can possibly think it that if someone mentioned the family dynamic in their PS or secondary. At that point, it becomes fail game.

For the bolded part, just tell the truth.

So I was browsing this old thread:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/weirdest-most-uncomfortable-interview-question.1048400/

And I see that a lot of interviewees were asked about their relationships with their family (e.g. How close are you with your brother? What do they do for a living? etc.).

Is this a common question? What's the most tactful way to address it if you have an extremely dysfucntional family?

 

[ngc 2170]

If the question is phrased as "Tell me about your family," then respond appropriately with YOUR family. Not your parents' family. This can be a test of maturity. If you immediately skip to saying "I do/don't have siblings, this is my parental situation, etc." an adcom might see this unfavorably, seeing you as a child as opposed to an adult.

Source

This makes no sense if applicant is young enough that applicant's family = parents' family. For example, I am an adult, but being single, the only reasonable answer would be to discuss my parents and siblings, barring an answer of, "I don't have a family yet, just myself," which sounds odd.

 

[Hospitalized]

This makes no sense if applicant is young enough that applicant's family = parents' family.

Phrasing of the question will vary depending on the applicant's age, I would imagine.

 

[ngc 2170]

Phrasing of the question will vary depending on the applicant's age, I would imagine.

That's reasonable. If applicant is a non-trad with children etc., asking about family would be standard conversational fare, though still largely irrelevant to qualifications.

 

[LizzyM]

That's reasonable. If applicant is a non-trad with children etc., asking about family would be standard conversational fare, though still largely irrelevant to qualifications.

If you bring it up, it is fair game. If you have dependent children, there might be questions about how you will manage the school/family balance and what your plans are for childcare and the like. That is relevant to one's ability to successfully complete the degree.

Some interviewers will want to know if your family (parents) are emotionally supportive of your interest in medical school and some will want to know if you are making a voluntary decision to pursue a career in medicine or if you are being railroaded by family members in the profession. If your parents' profession(s) are listed on your application, you might be asked if you considered their occupation and how you decided on medicine over __.

 

[Affiche]

@LizzyM and what if your parents are not supportive (estranged, deceased, etc)? I've heard of people being asked about the support system they'll have to help get them through medical school, but what if that system isn't familial? Does answering honestly that your family doesn't provide that support raise concerns?

 

[LizzyM]

@LizzyM and what if your parents are not supportive (estranged, deceased, etc)? I've heard of people being asked about the support system they'll have to help get them through medical school, but what if that system isn't familial? Does answering honestly that your family doesn't provide that support raise concerns?

If the question is "what is your support system?" then you answer with a description of that system whether it is family or others. The point is, you have supporters who will encourage you, step in if you need help beyond what you can do for yourself, and remind you to take care of yourself if your health and well being begin to slip. If the question is, "what do your parents think of your decision to attend medical school?" you might be able to deflect the question with a smile and perhaps some humor ("They might have been happier if I ran away and joined the circus, but I've given this a great deal of thought and worked very hard to get where I am and I know that I am making the right choice in terms of what I want to do with my life.")

 

[Goro]

Let's say you're from CA and are interviewing at U Miami. It's far to ask what will be your support system so far away from home. My school has lost to students to homesickness. I am NOT making this up! So we don't ask these types of questions to find out if you get along with your parents, it's to see if you have coping mechanisms in place.

If you're from CA but applying to U AZ, or U NV, then it's less or an issue.

I have several questions that can root out whether parent-doctors are pushing the applicant. No, I'm not sharing.

@LizzyM and what if your parents are not supportive (estranged, deceased, etc)? I've heard of people being asked about the support system they'll have to help get them through medical school, but what if that system isn't familial? Does answering honestly that your family doesn't provide that support raise concerns?

 

[Affiche]

Let's say you're from CA and are interviewing at U Miami. It's far to ask what will be your support system so far away from home. My school has lost to students to homesickness. I am NOT making this up! So we don't ask these types of questions to find out if you get along with your parents, it's to see if you have coping mechanisms in place.

If you're from CA but applying to U AZ, or U NV, then it's less or an issue.

To me, this seems unfair to assume. For those of us with dysfunctional families, our support system isn't necessarily any stronger in California than in Miami, but we've done pretty well in California regardless.

 

[Goro]

Support system doesn't have to be family!

And family doesn't have to be blood relations.

To me, this seems unfair to assume. For those of us with dysfunctional families, our support system isn't necessarily any stronger in California than in Miami, but we've done pretty well in California regardless.

 

[Affiche]

Support system doesn't have to be family!

And family doesn't have to be blood relations.

Shouldn't the fact that I moved OOS to attend college in an area that I had no ties to be indicative enough that I can handle moving to a new location for med school? Why do I need to demonstrate that I have a support system there? As you stated, a support system doesn't have to be family, and I'm very comfortable developing a new support system wherever I end up moving to.

 

[Goro]

But we don't know where your support system is. Your grandparents and uncles could have been nearby.

Med school is a very stressful environment. I've seen it break healthy students. Knowing that you have people to rely on when life throws a 90 MPH fastball at your nose is consoling to us. Telling the interviewer what you have said in the bold is a good answer, BTW. I can see you're on the ball.

Shouldn't the fact that I moved OOS to attend college in an area that I had no ties to be indicative enough that I can handle moving to a new location for med school? Why do I need to demonstrate that I have a support system there? As you stated, a support system doesn't have to be family, and I'm very comfortable developing a new support system wherever I end up moving to.

 

[Affiche]

But we don't know where your support system is. Your grandparents and uncles could have been nearby.

Med school is a very stressful environment. I've seen it break healthy students. Knowing that you have people to rely on when life throws a 90 MPH fastball at your nose is consoling to us. Telling the interviewer what you have said in the bold is a good answer, BTW. I can see you're on the ball.

Well, if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me!

Also, I see you've taken to the orthodox method of quoting! Happy day!

 

[Goro]

Winged Scapula is a good mentor.

Well, if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me!
Also, I see you've taken to the orthodox method of quoting! Happy day!