Quit Fellowship

[Miss155]

I am supposed to start a competitive fellowship this July but it requires me moving my kids and my husband won't be joining for the move. It is a 2 year fellowship at a top ranked program. I have been in practice for a few years. My husband is not supportive of the fellowship. It is something I have been longing to do for a while but I have been so indecisive. What would you do?

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[bashwell]

I am supposed to start a competitive fellowship this July but it requires me moving my kids and my husband won't be joining for the move. It is a 2 year fellowship at a top ranked program. I have been in practice for a few years. My husband is not supportive of the fellowship. It is something I have been longing to do for a while but I have been so indecisive. What would you do?

If I were a dermatologist, and the fellowship was dermatopathology, then I'd stick with dermatology.

If I were a pathologist, and the fellowship was dermatopathology, then I'd do the fellowship.

 

[rokshana]

If I were a dermatologist, and the fellowship was dermatopathology, then I'd stick with dermatology.

If I were a pathologist, and the fellowship was dermatopathology, then I'd do the fellowship.

The obvious question here is why did you even rank a place ?
Did you and your husband not discuss this?
Only you can decide which is more important but it's kinda late in the year to be asking this ... And if you decide not to go it will be a match violation

 

[ProfMD]

I do not know the details of your fellowship (obviously), but not all fellowships are through a match. Therefore, match violation may or may not be an issue.

However, in most specialities, by the time you are talking about fellowships, you are talking about a small group of people. Add that to the fact that you say this is a top ranked program, implying well-connected faculty, and you may have a serious problem with burning bridges should you quit.

I agree with others that it sounds like there are deeper issues here with regards to your marriage. Obviously, it would have been ideal to settle these issues before applying the fellowship and deciding on the rank list. However, this does not help you now.

First, talk to you husband. Find out what it is he objects to. Does he have family and friends he does not want to leave? A job that can't move? Is he just generally opposed to you going back to being a trainee on a trainee salary after having been in practice a few years? Some problems to solve are bigger than others, and an intermediary like a counselor may be necessary.

If you cannot find common ground with your husband, then it seems like you have serious sole searching to do about priorities, career vs marriage. If you choose the latter, which is entirely reasonable, hopefully you will find the fellowship faculty understanding so you do not harm your career.

 

[Trauma Surgeon]

Totally agree with the post above!
But if you have to choose, family first! Family always first!
If the OP don't come forward with the reason how she ended up in this situation and we are having a guessing game here on SDN, let me join: the husband might have been supportive of her applying, but deep down he thought the fellowship were out of her reach…

 

[Miss155]

We made a compromise about it when I applied and didn't get a position in my home state.

There is no match.

 

[rokshana]

We made a compromise about it when I applied and didn't get a position in my home state.

There is no match.

so then what changed?
there was a thread recently started by someone in a similar situation...matched in a place lower on his list and wife not thrilled and refusing to move..it was the shock of the match, and once it sank in, she was more reasonable...you may want to read through it and see if it can give you some advice...

you need to sit down, either alone or with some one can help mediate, and discuss the situation, why he is resistant now if this was a compromised that you had agreed with earlier, and what can be done to allow for you to do the fellowship...or decide what is more important ...this is a little different than matching into a residency though in that you have the ability to work as a physician since you have completed a residency and the fellowship isn't necessary to have a career in medicine.

 

[Obnoxious Dad]

I am supposed to start a competitive fellowship this July but it requires me moving my kids and my husband won't be joining for the move. It is a 2 year fellowship at a top ranked program. I have been in practice for a few years. My husband is not supportive of the fellowship. It is something I have been longing to do for a while but I have been so indecisive. What would you do?

Have you asked your husband to move for your career before? If you asked him to move for med school, residency, a job and now a fellowship, he's going to conclude that you believe his life and career are unimportant. At some point he's going to say, "Enough is enough!". This is especially true if he's in a white collar profession. If you've jerked him around before, you should think about him AND YOUR KIDS and blow this fellowship off.

 

[rokshana]

Have you asked your husband to move for your career before? If you asked him to move for med school, residency, a job and now a fellowship, he's going to conclude that you believe his life and career are unimportant. At some point he's going to say, "Enough is enough!". This is especially true if he's in a white collar profession. If you've jerked him around before, you should think about him AND YOUR KIDS and blow this fellowship off.

yes, but if he agreed to moving for fellowship and now is pouting...well...not her fault...

and i have a funny feeling if the she was a he and it was the wife complaining...you would not be saying this...

and i would imagine...the kids would go with her...

 

[Obnoxious Dad]

yes, but if he agreed to moving for fellowship and now is pouting...well...not her fault...

and i have a funny feeling if the she was a he and it was the wife complaining...you would not be saying this...

and i would imagine...the kids would go with her...

I've seen your posts in other threads and you frequently make unfounded assumptions about people. There isn't a word in this thread indicating that he agreed to move. The OP is vague about that. Nobody said he's "pouting". Of course you make the assumption that my position is gender related. If the genders were reversed, I'd feel the same way.

I've encountered many people who work in medicine who think that every other career is secondary to theirs. Well, that's just not true. There comes a point where constant and unpredictable moves to accommodate your spouse's career will kill your own career. Maybe this is the first time this guy has been asked to move and maybe it's the sixth time. I don't know, but I'm sure that you'd be happy to come to a conclusion about that without any evidence at all.

 

[rokshana]

I've seen your posts in other threads and you frequently make unfounded assumptions about people. There isn't a word in this thread indicating that he agreed to move. The OP is vague about that. Nobody said he's "pouting". Of course you make the assumption that my position is gender related. If the genders were reversed, I'd feel the same way.

I've encountered many people who work in medicine who think that every other career is secondary to theirs. Well, that's just not true. There comes a point where constant and unpredictable moves to accommodate your spouse's career will kill your own career. Maybe this is the first time this guy has been asked to move and maybe it's the sixth time. I don't know, but I'm sure that you'd be happy to come to a conclusion about that without any evidence at all.

message #7 ... she says that it was a compromise they reached after she didn't get a position in her state...

and talk about a pot calling a kettle black...you most certainly made the assumption that SHE was the one being selfish..."jerked" him around ..."you should think about him AND YOUR KIDS...really was it necessary to yell at her on the internet...

and i've seen your posts too...hence the conclusion ...and funny, don't recall you saying anything like this to the MALE med student having a similar problem with his WIFE...

 

[Obnoxious Dad]

message #7 ... she says that it was a compromise they reached after she didn't get a position in her state...

and talk about a pot calling a kettle black...you most certainly made the assumption that SHE was the one being selfish..."jerked" him around ..."you should think about him AND YOUR KIDS...really was it necessary to yell at her on the internet...

and i've seen your posts too...hence the conclusion ...and funny, don't recall you saying anything like this to the MALE med student having a similar problem with his WIFE...

You have a serious reading comprehension problem. Instead of making an idiotic attempt to read between the lines, why don't you attempt to read what I've actually written. You would have flunked out of law school.

They may have reached a compromise for her to move but there is no evidence here that he agreed to move himself. Furthermore, I did not state that she had jerked him around. I asked her if she had jerked him around before. Furthermore, I stated that if the genders had been reversed, I would feel the same way.

 

[rokshana]

You have a serious reading comprehension problem. Instead of making an idiotic attempt to read between the lines, why don't you attempt to read what I've actually written. You would have flunked out of law school.

They may have reached a compromise for her to move but there is no evidence here that he agreed to move himself. Furthermore, I did not state that she had jerked him around. I asked her if she had jerked him around before. Furthermore, I stated that if the genders had been reversed, I would feel the same way.

please...your words were meant to be inflammatory...now you are backpedalling that you weren't trying to be obnoxious (after all its in your name)...

 

[Crayola227]

to be fair to OP, I've seen this happen SOOOOOOOOO many times

the SO seems to be cool with proposed hypothetical major life changes brought on by a med career, and when push shoves to shove they duck out
whether that's fair or not

anyone that gets involved with someone in medicine should know that having to move for med school AND residency, 2 moves, is always a potential given, although with med school there are more degrees of freedom (ie you can just say **** it.... after an MD/DO and 200K+ debt, a match isn't really optional at that point) so at least with residency potentially moving is non-optional

anyway, I would advise anyone dating someone in medicine to resign themselves to moving for fellowship as well, I don't think the possibility of fellowship can ever safely be taken off the table by anyone, that's a potential recipe for misery
the reasons for doing fellowship could be more or less "optional"
for some the fellowship is necessary for employability, in which case, not optional
in others it could be a question of sanity, +/- optional

the reason doctors have some silly idea their career *training* comes first is because of the level of debt and your unemployability should you not complete the training, plus the level of job security one usually has with earning potential in the 6 figures, and the fact that medicine is a professional calling approaching the sacred for many, almost on par with being a priest,
is one of the most stressful jobs on its best day, and that not pursuing the right niche in what is a hugely broad field could be akin to a Hindu priest being stuck as a foot soldier with an AK47 --

if whatever career your SO is pursuing/giving up meets most of the above in terms of "negative consequences besides the fact that you like doing it", than I would say it's just as important, but most careers don't fit that niche

in any case, whether or not this is "fair" sort of depends where they were in the relationship when the path down medicine was struck upon

I don't agree always put family first
always put kids first but know that that can put in you an empty nest with a job you don't like, but, that's your *job* as a parent so deal, they didn't force their existence on you it's vice versa so make the best of it for them

but spouses? they come and go
stick to your career
I always heard that and never believed it until someone I never thought would cut out on me cut out,
and I was just so lucky that I had made the "right" choices and had my career
even if you don't want to believe me that Mr. Right is gonna cheat or divorce you, he could die of a stroke tomorrow

anyway, I don't know what his problems are moving exactly, but if you want to use the "family first" adage that should go for him too
and the "career first" adage like I already covered, likely doesn't apply to him with the same sort of stakes that your medical career does

get counseling

if his issue is more that he's tired of you being in training than it is moving (which I already covered SOs not prepared to move X times for med training are no great loss) that I can understand

if he really wants a happy 40+ more years of life with you, he'll sacrifice the next 2+

 

[Crayola227]

nvm, I was mostly addressing points made by other posters

OP -
I don't know why he can't move, but 2 years with the kids with you? how old are they? how are you gonna fellowship and single parent?
this sounds like a recipe for divorce

not what you want to hear I'm sure

since you have kids, then "family first" here might apply
or go, and just accept you might lose the husband

who's right or wrong doesn't make a difference here
now it's a matter of counseling and who can give to make this work best for the kids

OP, no one can tell you what you should prioritize, and which of the two of you should give, and depending on who gives, how well they live with it going forward/resentment

you are the best judge of how *you* might feel about any course of action here, but even there future self can always surprise past self's mindreading predictions

and I trust others' predictions about how they'll feel about some future event as much as I trust a shot in the dark which is not at all

 

[deleted480308]

yes, but if he agreed to moving for fellowship and now is pouting...well...not her fault...

and i have a funny feeling if the she was a he and it was the wife complaining...you would not be saying this...

and i would imagine...the kids would go with her...

it kind of doesn't matter if the spouse agreed before or not.....once you are married with kids the rules change a bit and unless the spouse comes around you don't split for family for years (or potentially forever) over a fellowship. OP is a residency trained employed attending in America with a spouse they seem to like and kids. OP has won. You don't throw that away for a slight career bump.

 

[rokshana]

it kind of doesn't matter if the spouse agreed before or not.....once you are married with kids the rules change a bit and unless the spouse comes around you don't split for family for years (or potentially forever) over a fellowship. OP is a residency trained employed attending in America with a spouse they seem to like and kids. OP has won. You don't throw that away for a slight career bump.

i agree, married and kids make a difference since you can't willy nilly move around on the spur of the moment, but unless they had twins in the time that he agreed and to the time she accepted the fellowship, they were making this decision based on the current family structure in play.

and i noted in a previous post, that this certainly is not the same as matching into a residency program that is in a undesirable location...here the OP is employed and employable without the fellowship.

as for the living apart...this is not uncommon...but the parties have to agree that the arrangement is in the best interest of their family...not apparent that option is agreeable here, but you never know...

and as for obnoxious's contention that the spouse's career takes second place...well...yeah it does...as crayola pointed out, if the medical person doesn't get a residency or complete the residency, their medical career is DONE...if the spouse is non medical they need to realize that that their career will have to accommodate their (g)b/f, fiance(e), or spouse's goals of becoming a practicing physician...ideally those who were married before, came to the decision to go to medical school by discussing it, and the SO that comes along during the process has discussed the issue prior to fully committing to the relationship. Sure things can change and in this case, its an optional fellowship not a needed residency, if the condition of moving was discussed before she applied for the fellowship, then he needs to be able to come to terms with the agreement he made.

 

[NERDY]

Can you defer the start of your fellowship to work out these issues with your family?

 

[j4pac]

If this was a debate of residency or no residency...this would be different. Without residency...you are absolutely screwed and will be sabotaging the financial state of your family. This is fellowship...something that is COMPLETELY unnecessary for employment.

If your husband doesn't come around...you need to turn down the fellowship.

As a spouse of medical professional...it's hard...especially when kids are involved. Thankful, my wife and I appear to be better planners and communicators than the OP and her husband...but even still...it's hard. My wife is incredibly bright and could land a fellowship pretty easily, but we have already had the discussion that it is NOT going to happen while I go to residency. It would create a childcare nightmare, and add stress to an already stressful situation. Once I'm done with residency...she can apply to fellowship in the city we plan on settling down, but that's it. And the same rules apply to me. Why? Because uprooting our family for a year is an absolute NIGHTMARE of a situation and it would be unhealthy for all parties involved. This could easily mean that my wife nor I go to fellowship one day...but that's ok.

 

[Miss155]

Well I guess I will just quit and be resentful. I hope I do not regret it in the future.

 

[GimpGenius]

If you resent your SO because of this decision, you're already regretting the choice.

Have a serious discussion about this with him; you're the only two who can figure out what's best for everyone involved.

 

[Crayola227]

Well I guess I will just quit and be resentful. I hope I do not regret it in the future.

Don't quit.

That resentment is gonna cost you the husband down the line, only then you won't have your dream career.

Whatever made you guys get yourselves int this situation, like compromises, have to apply.

If not, forget it.

Everyone's gonna say put career aside to make it work with the husband because you have kids.
I know kids that grew up in that scenario, it's not pretty, they don't have a better time because of it.
YOLO.
"But your kids....??"
you owe it to them to minimize the dysfunction that invariably exists in your house. That includes showing them that partners need to stick to their words and not to put career second to someone who can't. That it's better to compromise and avoid resentment, or just walk away from that. Those kids will be almost as good as gone by the time they reach high school if not college. Sacrificing your career for someone who might not stick around is not a good message for them. At best you are suggesting mortgaging all the years of your future for whatever good comes of the the 10 years your kids have to watch the two of you be miserable. Then you'll be alone and you won't like your job. American dream job money spouse kids. The part of that equation you can rely on to always be with you is job. Best thing a parent can do for their child today is learn to be happy without their their kids and to be able to be financially independent of them as well, even if you are disabled.
"But if you lose your career, who will take care of you?? Your husband?? Pretty stupid to put career of husband in that situation."
Yeah, rely on him to stick to you about as much as he's sticking to you now. Never rely on anyone to care for you if you are ill. Best odds are your parents, and I know ppl will chime in to mention parents who don't care even then. Anyone else? You'd be surprised who will walk away. I'm not surprised when it's a husband.

Sometimes you see people mourning some relationship they lost because of a job. I usually see the reverse, the career they could have had.
On people's deathbeds they wish they had spent more time with their family than with their job. Hardly anyone wishes they had spent less time at work and more time with the ex husband. Rarely do people look back on "but we stayed together for the kids" with fondness.

Do the fellowship.

You gotta do you.

 

[deleted480308]

Well I guess I will just quit and be resentful. I hope I do not regret it in the future.

IF your spouse won't change their mind, the answer is not quit the fellowship and be resentful. The answer is to quit the fellowship, forgive your spouse, and move on with your life as an american doctor with an intact family. You are winning. Don't let a disappointment cause you to lose sight of that

Don't quit.

That resentment is gonna cost you the husband down the line, only then you won't have your dream career.

Whatever made you guys get yourselves int this situation, like compromises, have to apply.

If not, forget it.

Everyone's gonna say put career aside to make it work with the husband because you have kids.
I know kids that grew up in that scenario, it's not pretty, they don't have a better time because of it.
YOLO.
"But your kids....??"
you owe it to them to minimize the dysfunction that invariably exists in your house. That includes showing them that partners need to stick to their words and not to put career second to someone who can't. That it's better to compromise and avoid resentment, or just walk away from that. Those kids will be almost as good as gone by the time they reach high school if not college. Sacrificing your career for someone who might not stick around is not a good message for them. At best you are suggesting mortgaging all the years of your future for whatever good comes of the the 10 years your kids have to watch the two of you be miserable. Then you'll be alone and you won't like your job. American dream job money spouse kids. The part of that equation you can rely on to always be with you is job. Best thing a parent can do for their child today is learn to be happy without their their kids and to be able to be financially independent of them as well, even if you are disabled.
"But if you lose your career, who will take care of you?? Your husband?? Pretty stupid to put career of husband in that situation."
Yeah, rely on him to stick to you about as much as he's sticking to you now. Never rely on anyone to care for you if you are ill. Best odds are your parents, and I know ppl will chime in to mention parents who don't care even then. Anyone else? You'd be surprised who will walk away. I'm not surprised when it's a husband.

Sometimes you see people mourning some relationship they lost because of a job. I usually see the reverse, the career they could have had.
On people's deathbeds they wish they had spent more time with their family than with their job. Hardly anyone wishes they had spent less time at work and more time with the ex husband. Rarely do people look back on "but we stayed together for the kids" with fondness.

Do the fellowship.

You gotta do you.

Crayola is wrong. Separating your family for a such a small issue (I know it seems critical but we all know fellowship isn't required to have a nice life/career) is not a good message. YOLO isn't an adult approach to providing an upbringing to children who deserve an intact home.

 

[Obnoxious Dad]

IF your spouse won't change their mind, the answer is not quit the fellowship and be resentful. The answer is to quit the fellowship, forgive your spouse, and move on with your life as an american doctor with an intact family. You are winning. Don't let a disappointment cause you to lose sight of that

Crayola is wrong. Separating your family for a such a small issue (I know it seems critical but we all know fellowship isn't required to have a nice life/career) is not a good message. YOLO isn't an adult approach to providing an upbringing to children who deserve an intact home.

You are wise beyond your years. If you have kids, you have to make sacrifices. If you don't want to make sacrifices for your children, don't have children.

In all honesty I feel sorry for Crayola.

 

[Trauma Surgeon]

Well I guess I will just quit and be resentful. I hope I do not regret it in the future.

Take a moment and look at your life. I guess you have two healthy kids and husband. You have accomplished your main goal to becoming a doctor in a country where I'm sure no doctor nor their closest family members go to bed hungry.

I had to do a similar choice as you exactly 5 years ago, at beginning I was unhappy and felt as a looser, but could not be a happier today! If you want the whole story PM me and I will share my journey with you.

Please read the 2 post above mine.

Finally: Family first!

 

[hallowmann]

Well I guess I will just quit and be resentful. I hope I do not regret it in the future.

You can't quit and resent him. You have 2 choices:

1) Quit the fellowship because you prefer the guy and your marriage over the fellowship. No resentment here.

OR

2) Take the fellowship realizing full well that it will likely mean that you'll lose the guy.

If you're not going to be able to not resent him, its probably better to take the fellowship and expect that you'll lose him and the marriage.

Really, you need to have more conversations with your husband. If there's anything you can do to make a move possible for him, then great. If you can convince him in any way to make the move from a practical standpoint, then great. You really need to pay attention to his reasons for not making the move. If you expect him to ruin his career for a slight improvement of yours, that's just not fair. If he just doesn't like the idea of moving to a different city/state, then that's just not fair. You should be able to have these sorts of conversations and have a means of conflict resolution in your marriage. If you don't, then that's something that should be fixed sooner rather than later.

I also agree with the sentiment that if this were residency and not fellowship, he should just suck it up. Not only do you not get a choice with residency, but not completing a residency leaves you in debt with almost no career prospects. That said, this is a fellowship. You could apply again to the programs in your region this year, you aren't committing a match violation by pulling out, and ultimately you aren't going to be jobless without this fellowship.

 

[rokshana]

Saying family first means the she doesn't take the fellowship is not right either...the husband doesn't seem to be thinking family first if he first said apply and then now is saying no...

Sometimes the sacrifice is this... Living apart for the betterment for the family in the long haul...or changing jobs to live together so your spouse can have that better job ( or fulfill this need)... Or giving up a fellowship for the the sake of the family...

The thing is OP you gotta have this discussion with your husband... But first you need to decide what is YOUR priority and what are you willing to do.. And maybe give up...to fulfill that priority... But like hallowman said... You can't resent your husband for the decision you make...if you decide that this fellowship is your priority and your marriage comes to an end... Then that's the decision YOU made... If you decide your marriage is your priority and you withdraw from the fellowship...then that's the decision YOU made...either is the right decision for you...but it's you that ultimately have the power to make this decision... Take ownership of the path you decided to take.

 

[MediCane2006]

Yikes. Just be careful that if you do decline the fellowship, you try to minimize any burning of bridges. Especially if it's a small community.

 

[Perrotfish]

Crayola is wrong. Separating your family for a such a small issue (I know it seems critical but we all know fellowship isn't required to have a nice life/career) is not a good message. YOLO isn't an adult approach to providing an upbringing to children who deserve an intact home.

I would disagree with this, at least as a blanket statement:

1) Your career is not a small issue. Not as large as your kids' happiness, but not small either. This is what you do for 50+ hours a week, its what you poured your youth into. Its not something you toss aside the first time someone pushes back.

2) Your career is how your family eats. If OP is the primary breadwinner for the family walking away from a lucrative fellowship can have a significant negative impact on them down the line.

3)While the happiness of your children is a top priority, that doesn't mean that you can routinely allow a partner to get their way by holding the happiness of your children hostage. 'Do what I want or I'll tear this family apart!' is not something that adults put up with. Its up to the OP to decide whether her SO is using their children as a bargaining chip (not acceptable) or just feels like he's reached a breaking point that he can't get past even if the kids get hurt.

As a few other posters have pointed out, we are are missing at least 95% of the history for this particular story. A white collar spouse refusing to make yet another fresh start in his career is a lot different than a house husband who like the restaurants more in his current city. A husband who was supportive through residency and reached his breaking point with this move is a lot different than someone who routinely threatens to walk out if he doesn't get his way. A pathologist looking to triple her income with a dermpath fellowship is very different from a Pediatrician looking to cut her income in half with an ID fellowship. Finally a husband who agreed that he would definitely do this is very different from one who agreed to 'see how this goes' without really giving his word to go. Without knowing the history its hard to say to what extent the OP should stick up for herself vs sacrificing for her family.

 

[Miss155]

When I decided to do the fellowship 3 years ago it was like pulling his teeth to agree for me to apply. He was never supportive from the beginning because he thinks it is unnecessary and doesn't want to split the family with the move. We talk about it all the time but we do not get anywhere. We are not able to reach a compromise. I know it has to do with us moving for residency but he also moved for a job. I didn't get a position in my home state. He want the family to stay together and not move separately.

 

[deleted480308]

When I decided to do the fellowship 3 years ago it was like pulling his teeth to agree for me to apply. He was never supportive from the beginning because he thinks it is unnecessary and doesn't want to split the family with the move. We talk about it all the time but we do not get anywhere. We are not able to reach a compromise. I know it has to do with us moving for residency but he also moved for a job. I didn't get a position in my home state. He want the family to stay together and not move separately.

I would agree with him that it's unnecessary in the context of having a career that can support a family

 

[Perrotfish]

When I decided to do the fellowship 3 years ago it was like pulling his teeth to agree for me to apply. He was never supportive from the beginning because he thinks it is unnecessary and doesn't want to split the family with the move. We talk about it all the time but we do not get anywhere. We are not able to reach a compromise. I know it has to do with us moving for residency but he also moved for a job. I didn't get a position in my home state. He want the family to stay together and not move separately.

So from what I'm getting from this:

1) He is also employed, and this move would (I assume) set him back in his career
2) He has already moved with you for residency and did so cheerfully
3) He never really said yes to this fellowship plan. He just said yes to you applying, and even then only after a protracted fight where he made it crystal clear that he hated the idea.

You say you're unable to reach a compromise, but honestly it sounds like he already HAS compromised. He agreed to put his life on hold to follow you to residency with the plan that you could both start living again after. That's already much more than many employed spouses are willing to do. If there's nothing else mitigating (huge income jump after fellowship, his 'job' is selling Amway, you hate your current job so much that you've started stress vomiting at work, etc) I think your best option might be to make the sacrifice and just be a doctor in whatever specialty you currently work in. If there IS a compromise, it might be to reapply for a position in your home state for several more cycles, or to wait for a time when his career has more mobility to apply for fellowship.

 

[Washington guy]

Hi All. I am currently in a fellowship and started this July 2017. I am already hating it. Thinking of applying to a duffer fellowship this ERAS . Any consequences or any legal issues i might have to go through?
Any advice is helpful.
Thanks

 

[FlowLimited]

Hi All. I am currently in a fellowship and started this July 2017. I am already hating it. Thinking of applying to a duffer fellowship this ERAS . Any consequences or any legal issues i might have to go through?
Any advice is helpful.
Thanks

It's only been six days. My advice is to give yourself more time to settle into your new role. What do you hate?

 

[Washington guy]

It's only been six days. My advice is to give yourself more time to settle into your new role. What do you hate?

Its more of the fact that I was confused initially in which subspecialty to apply . I matched in my back up option and I really want to switch to Pulmonology/critical care now . I should have solely just applied in it. Don't know what to do now. I guess I am stuck . I just need to know that of anything Illegal I am doing if I apply again in this ERAS match.Thanks for the reply.

 

[gutonc]

Its more of the fact that I was confused initially in which subspecialty to apply . I matched in my back up option and I really want to switch to Pulmonology/critical care now . I should have solely just applied in it. Don't know what to do now. I guess I am stuck . I just need to know that of anything Illegal I am doing if I apply again in this ERAS match.Thanks for the reply.

Could you please just tell us the whole story now, all in one go, so we don't have to beat it out of you bit by bit?

If you want helpful replies, you'll do this. If you'd prefer to be coy and "maintain anonymity" (pro-tip...nobody cares who you are...or who I am...or who anybody here is), then you can be assured of multiple replies providing a combination of useless advice and additional requests for more information.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

There's no legal issues. You matched into a fellowship. You started it. You should stay for at least 60 days (I think the NRMP requires 45).

There are very large practical issues to matching again in P/CCM next year:

1. You mentioned that this was a backup fellowship for you. That means that you (presumably) applied to P/CCM programs and didn't match (unless you ranked this program above some P/CCM programs, for some reason). Applying again may result in the same outcome -- unclear if you'd be more competitive the second time around.

2. Dropping out of a fellowship program quickly (i.e. 60 days) might make other fellowships more concerned about taking you. They might think you'd do the same thing to them. You can tell us (and them) that this isn't true, but presumably that's the same thing you told your current program (and yourself) and here you are, thinking of quitting.

3. Your program doesn't need to give you interview days off.

4. Normally I'd say that you need an LOR from your current PD. But since you just started 1 week ago, it's hard to see how helpful that would be at this point.

 

[IM2GI]

Could you please just tell us the whole story now, all in one go, so we don't have to beat it out of you bit by bit?

If you want helpful replies, you'll do this. If you'd prefer to be coy and "maintain anonymity" (pro-tip...nobody cares who you are...or who I am...or who anybody here is), then you can be assured of multiple replies providing a combination of useless advice and additional requests for more information.

Sounds like someone ended up in nephrology.