Quitting during first year

[Conando]

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I am a first year thinking about leaving medicine.

*I have felt burned out since August/September
*Passed all my classes
*Not struggling academically per se. I just feel unmotivated
*Only 1 year (60k worth of loans); I think I may be able to return some of it since this semester is barely started

Here are some of my reasons for considering quitting
(1) Stopped caring about patient care/pathology (the top reason)
(2) Lost interest in all of the basic sciences/clinical skills classes
(3) Haven't felt like myself and have become more jaded
(4) The prospect of digging myself into deeper debt for a job I may not even like scares me
(5) I starting to value my free time more. A LOT MORE. And I don't see myself working 60+ hours for the rest of my career.

I feel pretty angry at myself because I have wanted to be a doctor for a long time, but I can't seem to remember why. I have shared my doubts about continuing medical school with a mentor, but she keeps encouraging me to stick it out because "everybody feels this way." I went along with it, but something recently has triggered me to believe that she is wrong about me.

I'm making an appointment to see a mental health professional next week about the burn out, but in the meantime, I would really appreciate some advice.

Thanks!

 

[murfettie]

eh.. a lot of people feel this way. sometimes we sit on the couch and talk about it.
especially for those of us we had a life after college, before med school.
we look at our friends and their lives, then run our fingers through our hair, and go "what in the world did i get myself into?"

btw, i went to see a psychiatrist. he was absolutely no help, maybe you have more psychiatric issues than I do.
a lot of people do feel this way.

 

[kedrin]

I dont think you are at a point or in a position yet to be capable of deciding whether or not you will like medicine. First year sucks and it sucks your life away. Finish out first year and take a break this summer and do some shadowing to see if you think you can do it. Then if you are on stable mental ground and you dont find anything you love in medicine maybe, just maybe call it quits.

 

[Conando]

I dont think you are at a point or in a position yet to be capable of deciding whether or not you will like medicine. First year sucks and it sucks your life away. Finish out first year and take a break this summer and do some shadowing to see if you think you can do it. Then if you are on stable mental ground and you dont find anything you love in medicine maybe, just maybe call it quits.

That's the catch-22 that I hate. The longer I wait to see if this is for me, the more debt I am in, and the harder it is for me to leave. 🙁

 

[Aeterni]

Is there some sort of clinic or something at your school that you can get some experience at? Volunteering at the homeless clinic at my school has helped to remind me of the part of medicine that I enjoy mostand always helps remind me of why I went into medicine. It helps to get out there and talk to real people sometimes, get out of the med school bubble and out of the books for a bit.

 

[Bacchus]

I hate to say this, but I feel you can't make this decision until 3rd and 4th year when you're out of the classroom. We've all had these feelings. It gets better. The learning becomes more clinically oriented. Its refreshing to see patients that are unique unlike the patients we see the first two years who are casted into their roles. Any skilled job you have will average 50-60 hours a week. Its unlikely you'll find a job where you can work only 8 hours a day.

 

[Sailor Senshi Dermystify]

I am a first year thinking about leaving medicine.

*I have felt burned out since August/September
*Passed all my classes
*Not struggling academically per se. I just feel unmotivated
*Only 1 year (60k worth of loans); I think I may be able to return some of it since this semester is barely started

Here are some of my reasons for considering quitting
(1) Stopped caring about patient care/pathology (the top reason)
(2) Lost interest in all of the basic sciences/clinical skills classes
(3) Haven't felt like myself and have become more jaded
(4) The prospect of digging myself into deeper debt for a job I may not even like scares me
(5) I starting to value my free time more. A LOT MORE. And I don't see myself working 60+ hours for the rest of my career.

I feel pretty angry at myself because I have wanted to be a doctor for a long time, but I can't seem to remember why. I have shared my doubts about continuing medical school with a mentor, but she keeps encouraging me to stick it out because "everybody feels this way." I went along with it, but something recently has triggered me to believe that she is wrong about me.

I'm making an appointment to see a mental health professional next week about the burn out, but in the meantime, I would really appreciate some advice.

Thanks!

Hello!

I am just a lousy pre-med but I will give you some sound advice..

Really ask yourself why did you pick medicine and is it really worth it at the end. What fascinates me the most about medicine is the amount of work and dedication that are require to do a great job. Do you want to give up right now after you buss your tail to get there in the first place. You already invested about 4 years of your life BEFORE you even got into medical school. You sat for your MCAT, researched, ECs, humanitarian activities, spent bread on interviews, saved babies in Africa, found a cure for AIDS, HIV AND TB and PLUS YouTookOutAlotOfMoneyDOT COM . For what? To just call it quits.

Really rethink your life and your destiny because you are getting older and not younger. What do you really want to do and were you pressured into medicine because of family and friends?

How did you all of a sudden stop caring about patient care and pathology? What triggered this thought? You should ask your Dean can you take a semester off to just breathe and figure things out. I don't think you should call it quits unless it's something that you thought WHOLEHEARTEDLY about. There will be some ups and downs in every career so what if you encountered this same situation again? Then what?

I think we got pretty lucky compared to PhD and Law students and I can't wait to see some patients during my third year. Oh and time flies so by the time you blink an eye you will have heard a response from your Residency programs 😀.

Cheer up, DOC!!!

Lastly, The road to success is not STRAIGHT. There is a curve called FAILURE, a loop called CONFUSION, speed bumps called FRIENDS, red lights called ENEMIES caution lights called FAMILY. You will have flats called JOBS. But, if you have a spare called DETERMINATION, an engine called PERSEVERANCE, insurance called FAITH, you will make it to a place called SUCCESS 😀

 

[mfrizzo3]

Hello!

I am just a lousy pre-med but I will give you some sound advice..

Really ask yourself why did you pick medicine and is it really worth it at the end. What fascinates me the most about medicine is the amount of work and dedication that are require to do a great job. Do you want to give up right now after you buss your tail to get there in the first place. You already invested about 4 years of your life BEFORE you even got into medical school. You sat for your MCAT, researched, ECs, humanitarian activities, spent bread on interviews, saved babies in Africa, found a cure for AIDS, HIV AND TB and PLUS YouTookOutAlotOfMoneyDOT COM . For what? To just call it quits.

Really rethink your life and your destiny because you are getting older and not younger. What do you really want to do and were you pressured into medicine because of family and friends?

How did you all of a sudden stop caring about patient care and pathology? What triggered this thought? You should ask your Dean can you take a semester off to just breathe and figure things out. I don't think you should call it quits unless it's something that you thought WHOLEHEARTEDLY about. There will be some ups and downs in every career so what if you encountered this same situation again? Then what?

I think we got pretty lucky compared to PhD and Law students and I can't wait to see some patients during my third year. Oh and time flies so by the time you blink an eye you will have heard a response from your Residency programs 😀.

Cheer up, DOC!!!

Lastly, The road to success is not STRAIGHT. There is a curve called FAILURE, a loop called CONFUSION, speed bumps called FRIENDS, red lights called ENEMIES caution lights called FAMILY. You will have flats called JOBS. But, if you have a spare called DETERMINATION, an engine called PERSEVERANCE, insurance called FAITH, you will make it to a place called SUCCESS 😀

🙄

(1) The first two years suck donkey balls.
(2) Find a hobby. I recommend kayaking.

 

[MilkmanAl]

While I never seriously considered quitting med school, I felt and feel the exact same way that you do. I am not at all interested in long-term patient care. As far as I'm concerned, all the talk you hear involving any phrase similar to "it's all about the patient now" is just group-think garbage. I certainly care about people/patients and am willing to work longer hours than most to make sure they stay healthy, but I'm not giving up my life to the cause. This is a job to me and nothing more. It's a job I'll enjoy a lot and will find rewarding, but it's still just a job.

The basic sciences years, particularly first year, can be brutally uninteresting. That's not news to anyone. M1 was one of the worst years of my life. At least the things you learn during second year have a chance of being useful to you.

Becoming more jaded is pretty much inevitable when you're dealing with sick people and the (soul-crushing) issues associated with them constantly, but whether that's bad (and how bad it is) depends on where you started out mindset-wise. If you were a save-the-world! pre-med bent on seeing 70 patients in a free clinic every day and flying to Somalia for more of the same on your time off, you can probably use a little reality. If you were a cynic to start with, this may not be the right career for you since you'll just spiral downward.

Debt sucks, but you'll be able to pay it off in a reasonable amount of time if you stick it out, regardless of what field you go into. Don't worry about that too much.

It'd be hard to find someone who values free time as much as I do, but I've made med school work for me. You obviously have to make a lot of concessions and sacrifices, but if you work it right, it's not all bad. Like someone else said, try finding or reviving a hobby. Start skipping as much class as you can, if you aren't already, so you'll have more time to yourself. However, I strongly recommend against doing any sort of clinic work during your time off. Working more to see why you're working has always seemed counterintuitive to me, and you're not going to get a whole lot out of it as a first year, anyway. Go drink a beer and watch the game with some friends instead.

Remember that you're basically at the worst point in med school. It just gets better from here on out. I have actually enjoyed my clinical years a lot despite not at all liking the first two. However, if you're really not digging it, don't be afraid to bail now while you still can, and save yourself a lot of bull**** and money. Medicine definitely is not for everyone, and there's no shame whatsoever in admitting to yourself that you just don't want the lifestyle this career path promises. On a loosely related note, don't shy away from acknowledging that you want to be here for money, power, respect, and/or a steady job. While you might not want to broadcast those thoughts to other people, all are decent reasons to do anything that you're willing to put the time in for, medicine notwithstanding. I mean, I wouldn't recommend medicine if those were your motivations, but I could understand the logic.

I guess the take-home message from me is that it's possible to get through med school without selling your soul to the career. Things often get rough, but you can still come out happy, even if your MO isn't quite the same as those around you.

 

[Conando]

Thank you for the feedback and suggestions everyone.

Is there some sort of clinic or something at your school that you can get some experience at?

I've tried this, and it was exciting at first. But once the 'honeymoon' period wore off, it got old real quick, and so I stopped.

I hate to say this, but I feel you can't make this decision until 3rd and 4th year when you're out of the classroom. We've all had these feelings. It gets better. The learning becomes more clinically oriented. Its refreshing to see patients that are unique unlike the patients we see the first two years who are casted into their roles. Any skilled job you have will average 50-60 hours a week. Its unlikely you'll find a job where you can work only 8 hours a day.

So it's not possible to make these sort of decisions prior to the end of first year? I find that hard to swallow.

While I never seriously considered quitting med school, I felt and feel the exact same way that you do. I am not at all interested in long-term patient care. As far as I'm concerned, all the talk you hear involving any phrase similar to "it's all about the patient now" is just group-think garbage. I certainly care about people/patients and am willing to work longer hours than most to make sure they stay healthy, but I'm not giving up my life to the cause. This is a job to me and nothing more. It's a job I'll enjoy a lot and will find rewarding, but it's still just a job.

A lot of what you have said resonated with me except the bolded part in the quote. It's not just long-term patient care I am uninterested in. It's patient care, period.

I have become a different person since I entered med school, at least my priorities and preferences. I was not unlike the premed cheerleader in this thread earlier raving about hard work and helping people.

Now, there's this growing apathy for this job. I just don't care about helping patients, learning about how to treat patients, how the body and disease works, etc. This really goes beyond just a general disdain and boredom of first year classes. I don't think I like medicine in general. To the people who say just wait, what am I waiting for? When project myself into the shoes of third years, interns, residents, and attendings, I just don't see myself happy doing what they do.

But I still hesitate to leave because (a) I worked hard to get here and (b) I'm not sure if this is just depression/fatigue/winter weather and I'm about to make a huge mistake.

 

[theseeker4]

Now, there's this growing apathy for this job. I just don't care about helping patients, learning about how to treat patients, how the body and disease works, etc. This really goes beyond just a general disdain and boredom of first year classes. I don't think I like medicine in general. To the people who say just wait, what am I waiting for? When project myself into the shoes of third years, interns, residents, and attendings, I just don't see myself happy doing what they do.

But I still hesitate to leave because (a) I worked hard to get here and (b) I'm not sure if this is just depression/fatigue/winter weather and I'm about to make a huge mistake.

You answered your own question. Seek professional help and sort out whether depression or some other mental health condition is making you feel this way. If so, with treatment (or simple time off) you may regain your motivation and focus. If you really are not interested in medicine anymore, obviously the answer is to quit now. Get help, nothing anyone on here says will be able to provide you your answer as well as a professional meeting you in person will.

 

[cxwrench]

I dont think you are at a point or in a position yet to be capable of deciding whether or not you will like medicine. First year sucks and it sucks your life away. Finish out first year and take a break this summer and do some shadowing to see if you think you can do it. Then if you are on stable mental ground and you dont find anything you love in medicine maybe, just maybe call it quits.

Same here.

 

[drizzt3117]

Quit then, no one's stopping you. What do you want us to tell you? If you don't like medicine don't do it!

Thank you for the feedback and suggestions everyone.



I've tried this, and it was exciting at first. But once the 'honeymoon' period wore off, it got old real quick, and so I stopped.



So it's not possible to make these sort of decisions prior to the end of first year? I find that hard to swallow.



A lot of what you have said resonated with me except the bolded part in the quote. It's not just long-term patient care I am uninterested in. It's patient care, period.

I have become a different person since I entered med school, at least my priorities and preferences. I was not unlike the premed cheerleader in this thread earlier raving about hard work and helping people.

Now, there's this growing apathy for this job. I just don't care about helping patients, learning about how to treat patients, how the body and disease works, etc. This really goes beyond just a general disdain and boredom of first year classes. I don't think I like medicine in general. To the people who say just wait, what am I waiting for? When project myself into the shoes of third years, interns, residents, and attendings, I just don't see myself happy doing what they do.

But I still hesitate to leave because (a) I worked hard to get here and (b) I'm not sure if this is just depression/fatigue/winter weather and I'm about to make a huge mistake.

 

[Jack is Back]

Medicine is too challenging of a career if you're not into it.

I would get out if you think you don't like medicine. I would stay in if it was just "1st and 2nd year are really tough."

 

[gravitywave]

if the endpoint (patient care) isn't at all interesting to you, then that's a very bad sign in my book. although it does beg the question of how you got this far to begin with: what kinds of experiences did you have as as an undergrad that made you "rah-rah, patients!" that have worn off so quickly since med school started?

time to get off the internet and start talking to real people, ie your dean of student affairs. a leave of absence is not uncommon during/after first year. as you say, you may have to do it quickly or you'll have to eat the loans for this semester.

 

[sirenomelia]

I am a first year thinking about leaving medicine.

*I have felt burned out since August/September
*Passed all my classes
*Not struggling academically per se. I just feel unmotivated
*Only 1 year (60k worth of loans); I think I may be able to return some of it since this semester is barely started

Here are some of my reasons for considering quitting
(1) Stopped caring about patient care/pathology (the top reason)
(2) Lost interest in all of the basic sciences/clinical skills classes
(3) Haven't felt like myself and have become more jaded
(4) The prospect of digging myself into deeper debt for a job I may not even like scares me
(5) I starting to value my free time more. A LOT MORE. And I don't see myself working 60+ hours for the rest of my career.


Thanks!

So basically you are on course to be an emergency medicine doctor. What was your question again?

 

[SoundofSilver]

Get through the rest of this year. When you have time off this summer, use that time to do some serious reflection/thinking about whether or not this career is for you. If you decide that you can't possibly endure another year of med school then quit. But this really isn't a decision you want to rush into without some serious time and thought. Medicine isn't for everyone (or most people for that matter) and that's okay. There are other careers and opportunities out there (although not as many as there used to be before the economy tanked).

As others have stated, it's possible that you're just depressed and if you get that taken care of, your interest in medicine may be rekindled.

Med school does not equal what your career as a doctor is going to be like. There are some specialties where you can work semi normal hours and there are some specialties where you don't even have to see patients.

 

[Abby_Normal]

Before you make any decisions, I strongly recommenced you make an appointment with your university's counseling services. Depression and related conditions are quite common among medical students, and while I don't pretend at all to be able to judge whether you have this condition, you should probably get it ruled out. Also, therapists can help with existential crises, even if you don't have a specific diagnosis.

Also, you might want to speak to student affairs. At my school, at least, they actively encourage students questioning their career decision to come to them before taking any drastic action.

 

[MilkmanAl]

Now, there's this growing apathy for this job. I just don't care about helping patients, learning about how to treat patients, how the body and disease works, etc. This really goes beyond just a general disdain and boredom of first year classes. I don't think I like medicine in general. To the people who say just wait, what am I waiting for? When project myself into the shoes of third years, interns, residents, and attendings, I just don't see myself happy doing what they do.

But I still hesitate to leave because (a) I worked hard to get here and (b) I'm not sure if this is just depression/fatigue/winter weather and I'm about to make a huge mistake.

It may be depression or fatigue, but judging by what very little I know, it does sound to me like you just aren't into the profession. It'd at least be worth looking into whether or not you can get some or all of this semester's tuition refunded to you. That may help you decide what to do.

edit: I forgot to add that I'm also not really all that interested in patient care (long-term or otherwise), as far as treating a person goes. I like manipulating their physiology on the fly and the challenges that presents, but I'm more than happy to let someone else deal with them and the paperwork related to them after they leave the OR. If anesthesia didn't exist, I might be kind of screwed. 😛

 

[GAgrl]

OP you could ask your admin for a year leave of absence (for depression or what ever reason) and try to get a job, work full time and see how you like it. If you find something to do that you like more or if you find you would prefer just doing what ever while paying your loans off dont go back. If you realize you made a mistake you have an in back to your school. Im not sure what it takes to get a leave though..... perhaps an apointent with your schools mental health services wouldnt be a bad idea and they might be able to help you if you decide to ask for a year off.

 

[Jack is Back]

So basically you are on course to be an emergency medicine doctor. What was your question again?

I lol'ed.

 

[link2swim06]

OP if medicine where anything like the first 2 years of med school nobody would become a doctor.

You will only enjoy the first 2 years if:
1. you enjoy being in quiet libraries for 12 hours straight
2. you enjoy having little free time
3. you like living near the poverty line
4. you like studying your ass off for test continually
etc...

As an attending none of the above apply. Its easy to get stressed out...just take it day by day...

 

[michaelrack]

OP if medicine where anything like the first 2 years of med school nobody would become a doctor.

You will only enjoy the first 2 years if:
1. you enjoy being in quiet libraries for 12 hours straight
2. you enjoy having little free time
3. you like living near the poverty line
4. you like studying your ass off for test continually
etc...
...

1,2 and 4 were true for me and I enjoyed the first 2 years of med school much more than the last 2

 

[Conando]

Thanks for the continued feedback guys. It's been really helpful. 🙂

I'm considering taking a 1-year LOA at the end of this block. I've agonized over this decision for the entire weekend, and I have come to the conclusion that this is more than just burnout. I used to work at a dead-end retail/cashier job for some time, and I hated it to the point where I would dread coming in every morning. I am having the same feeling right now in med school because I feel like I'm not going anywhere where I want to be. Being a doctor, at least right now, has zero appeal.

I'm going to seek counseling for the possible depression and talk to some of my advisers and deans. Who knows, maybe a year from now, I will remember and have even more resolve to continue.

Thanks again for listening. I couldn't have gotten this far without you people.

 

[VisionaryTics]

Thanks for the continued feedback guys. It's been really helpful. 🙂

I'm considering taking a 1-year LOA at the end of this block. I've agonized over this decision for the entire weekend, and I have come to the conclusion that this is more than just burnout. I used to work at a dead-end retail/cashier job for some time, and I hated it to the point where I would dread coming in every morning. I am having the same feeling right now in med school because I feel like I'm not going anywhere where I want to be. Being a doctor, at least right now, has zero appeal.

I'm going to seek counseling for the possible depression and talk to some of my advisers and deans. Who knows, maybe a year from now, I will remember and have even more resolve to continue.

Thanks again for listening. I couldn't have gotten this far without you people.

I think you're making the right decision. You've got a good head on your shoulders. Take care of it, and see if you want to come back in due time.

 

[thepoopologist]

Thanks for the continued feedback guys. It's been really helpful. 🙂

I'm considering taking a 1-year LOA at the end of this block. I've agonized over this decision for the entire weekend, and I have come to the conclusion that this is more than just burnout. I used to work at a dead-end retail/cashier job for some time, and I hated it to the point where I would dread coming in every morning. I am having the same feeling right now in med school because I feel like I'm not going anywhere where I want to be. Being a doctor, at least right now, has zero appeal.

I'm going to seek counseling for the possible depression and talk to some of my advisers and deans. Who knows, maybe a year from now, I will remember and have even more resolve to continue.

Thanks again for listening. I couldn't have gotten this far without you people.

Good call. You aren't burning bridges and you aren't accumulating debt. The 1 year break will be good for you.

 

[shenanigi]

OP if medicine where anything like the first 2 years of med school nobody would become a doctor.

You will only enjoy the first 2 years if:
1. you enjoy being in quiet libraries for 12 hours straight
2. you enjoy having little free time
3. you like living near the poverty line
4. you like studying your ass off for test continually
etc...

As an attending none of the above apply. Its easy to get stressed out...just take it day by day...

Excuse me link2swim, but I believe in living below the poverty line and bartering for my services. Also, who needs free time? I happen to find libraries peaceful, and studying exhilarating.

 

[Evergrey]

Thanks for the continued feedback guys. It's been really helpful. 🙂

I'm considering taking a 1-year LOA at the end of this block. I've agonized over this decision for the entire weekend, and I have come to the conclusion that this is more than just burnout. I used to work at a dead-end retail/cashier job for some time, and I hated it to the point where I would dread coming in every morning. I am having the same feeling right now in med school because I feel like I'm not going anywhere where I want to be. Being a doctor, at least right now, has zero appeal.

I'm going to seek counseling for the possible depression and talk to some of my advisers and deans. Who knows, maybe a year from now, I will remember and have even more resolve to continue.

Thanks again for listening. I couldn't have gotten this far without you people.

If you are truly considering leaving medical school, then yeah -- a LOA is a great option. It keeps your foot in the door to go back to medical school, at no risk to you. Should you change your mind and want to come back, it would be really difficult after voluntarily withdrawing from med school. Before you get to that point though, it sounds like you have some good options to explore your feelings about this matter.

Medicine is not for everyone, and it has nothing to do with who is strong or weak. This career has a lot of downsides... and if it's not working out for you, there's a wide world out there full of possibility. I will say though, if you are going to take a LOA (or withdraw from school), definitely have an exit strategy. The worst thing would be to be thrown back to where you were before you started med school! I dunno about you, but I was working a crappy $9/hr job that I never want to revisit.

Anyway, you've probably had multiple people tell you all of this already. Good luck figuring out your decision, and look out for yourself #1. Don't let what other people feel about what you're doing affect what's right for you.

 

[Baron Samedi]

Hello!

I am just a lousy pre-med but I will give you some sound advice..

Really ask yourself why did you pick medicine and is it really worth it at the end. What fascinates me the most about medicine is the amount of work and dedication that are require to do a great job. Do you want to give up right now after you buss your tail to get there in the first place. You already invested about 4 years of your life BEFORE you even got into medical school. You sat for your MCAT, researched, ECs, humanitarian activities, spent bread on interviews, saved babies in Africa, found a cure for AIDS, HIV AND TB and PLUS YouTookOutAlotOfMoneyDOT COM . For what? To just call it quits.

Really rethink your life and your destiny because you are getting older and not younger. What do you really want to do and were you pressured into medicine because of family and friends?

How did you all of a sudden stop caring about patient care and pathology? What triggered this thought? You should ask your Dean can you take a semester off to just breathe and figure things out. I don't think you should call it quits unless it's something that you thought WHOLEHEARTEDLY about. There will be some ups and downs in every career so what if you encountered this same situation again? Then what?

I think we got pretty lucky compared to PhD and Law students and I can't wait to see some patients during my third year. Oh and time flies so by the time you blink an eye you will have heard a response from your Residency programs 😀.

Cheer up, DOC!!!

Lastly, The road to success is not STRAIGHT. There is a curve called FAILURE, a loop called CONFUSION, speed bumps called FRIENDS, red lights called ENEMIES caution lights called FAMILY. You will have flats called JOBS. But, if you have a spare called DETERMINATION, an engine called PERSEVERANCE, insurance called FAITH, you will make it to a place called SUCCESS 😀

Good lord...

 

[tiedyeddog]

Hello!

I am just a lousy pre-med but I will give you some sound advice..

Really ask yourself why did you pick medicine and is it really worth it at the end. What fascinates me the most about medicine is the amount of work and dedication that are require to do a great job. Do you want to give up right now after you buss your tail to get there in the first place. You already invested about 4 years of your life BEFORE you even got into medical school. You sat for your MCAT, researched, ECs, humanitarian activities, spent bread on interviews, saved babies in Africa, found a cure for AIDS, HIV AND TB and PLUS YouTookOutAlotOfMoneyDOT COM . For what? To just call it quits.

Really rethink your life and your destiny because you are getting older and not younger. What do you really want to do and were you pressured into medicine because of family and friends?

How did you all of a sudden stop caring about patient care and pathology? What triggered this thought? You should ask your Dean can you take a semester off to just breathe and figure things out. I don't think you should call it quits unless it's something that you thought WHOLEHEARTEDLY about. There will be some ups and downs in every career so what if you encountered this same situation again? Then what?

I think we got pretty lucky compared to PhD and Law students and I can't wait to see some patients during my third year. Oh and time flies so by the time you blink an eye you will have heard a response from your Residency programs 😀.

Cheer up, DOC!!!

Lastly, The road to success is not STRAIGHT. There is a curve called FAILURE, a loop called CONFUSION, speed bumps called FRIENDS, red lights called ENEMIES caution lights called FAMILY. You will have flats called JOBS. But, if you have a spare called DETERMINATION, an engine called PERSEVERANCE, insurance called FAITH, you will make it to a place called SUCCESS 😀

no

 

[ArcGurren]

Thanks for the continued feedback guys. It's been really helpful. 🙂

I'm considering taking a 1-year LOA at the end of this block. I've agonized over this decision for the entire weekend, and I have come to the conclusion that this is more than just burnout. I used to work at a dead-end retail/cashier job for some time, and I hated it to the point where I would dread coming in every morning. I am having the same feeling right now in med school because I feel like I'm not going anywhere where I want to be. Being a doctor, at least right now, has zero appeal.

I'm going to seek counseling for the possible depression and talk to some of my advisers and deans. Who knows, maybe a year from now, I will remember and have even more resolve to continue.

Thanks again for listening. I couldn't have gotten this far without you people.

Thank you for making a mature decision with regards to what you should do. Definitely get worked up for depression. I definitely felt pretty depressed and hated my first year of medical school so I know how you're feeling; however it's definitely a good idea to keep a calm head before rushing into any judgments.

To the premed who likes caps-lock earlier in this thread... just... what the...

OP, I will also echo peoples' sentiments that third year gets better. There are plenty of fields of medicine you can also enter if you really don't like dealing directly with patients all the time (rads, path, etc). And you might like it - I thought I would hate dealing with chronically sick people when I entered third year, and yes, while occasionally it's a bit trying, I actually like it a lot more than I thought I would.

 

[MonsterHospital]

If anything would turn you off to medicine, it's first year. I think there are 2 reasons for this:

1. It's somewhat...boring.The clinical focus isn't quite in the picture yet.
2. You had high hopes since you figured you were "finally learning about what you'll be doing as a doctor."

As I finish up second year, I look back to first year and remember how I felt. I was in your shoes. I had wanted to be a doctor forever and had little to no interest in what I was studying, and my dwindling motivation to study more of it left me doubting my career path. First year was the most stressful year of my adult life so far. Second year has been way better. Two reasons:

1. It's a lot more clinically relevant and thus interesting.
2. I've adjusted my expectations and my lifestyle to fit life as a med student.

Everyone knows first year sucks. You owe it to yourself to stick it out another year to at least see if the clinically relevant stuff reawakens your interest in medicine. And I agree with the folks telling you to shadow -- I shadowed during first year and always left being reminded of why I was doing this (becoming a doctor) and what my job is really going to be about. It's very refreshing. Consider it a much-needed reality check.

If that doesn't do it for you, you may need to evaluate where you are in general. If you're suddenly losing interest and motivation in pursuing a lot of things that used to interest you, you may actually be depressed. Many more medical students struggle with depression than you'd think. May be worth investigating.

 

[FIREitUP]

If anything would turn you off to medicine, it's first year. I think there are 2 reasons for this:

1. It's boring. A lot of it is of little clinical relevance.
2. You had high hopes since you figured you were "finally learning about what you'll be doing as a doctor."

As I finish up second year, I look back to first year and remember how I felt. I was in your shoes. I had wanted to be a doctor forever and had little to no interest in what I was studying, and my dwindling motivation to study more of it left me doubting my career path. First year was the most stressful and awful year of my adult life so far. Second year has been way better. Two reasons:

1. It's a lot more clinically relevant and thus interesting.
2. I've adjusted my expectations and my lifestyle to fit life as a med student.

Everyone knows first year sucks. You owe it to yourself to stick it out another year to at least see if the clinically relevant stuff reawakens your interest in medicine. And I agree with the folks telling you to shadow -- I shadowed during first year and always left being reminded of why I was doing this (becoming a doctor) and what my job is really going to be about. It's very refreshing. Consider it a much-needed reality check.

If that doesn't do it for you, you may need to evaluate where you are in general. If you're suddenly losing interest and motivation in pursuing a lot of things that used to interest you, you may actually be depressed. Many more medical students struggle with depression than you'd think. May be worth investigating.

👍

 

[Dr Love]

Being a medical student is pretty different than being a doctor.

 

[Conando]

Again thanks for everyone's support. I've decided that I will take a LOA after the end of first year. This will give me some time to decide whether I want to come back.

Some reasons for my decision:
Tuition is essentially non-refundable at this point. Might as well get what I paid for.
Counseling is helping
Getting a lot support from faculty and staff which is helping me get through this

I have an exam on Monday, and at this point, I'm pretty sure I will pass this exam and the final that's in a few weeks. I will probably take next week off, and just cram for the final.

 

[valkener]

Again thanks for everyone's support. I've decided that I will take a LOA after the end of first year. This will give me some time to decide whether I want to come back.

Some reasons for my decision:
Tuition is essentially non-refundable at this point. Might as well get what I paid for.
Counseling is helping
Getting a lot support from faculty and staff which is helping me get through this

I have an exam on Monday, and at this point, I'm pretty sure I will pass this exam and the final that's in a few weeks. I will probably take next week off, and just cram for the final.

You are right with the assessment that you are clinically depressed. I am so glad you are getting counseling because a great counselor will help you really find out where all this stuff is coming from.

May I point out something? You mentioned you hated your retail job after 1 year. Now you're hating medschool after 1 year. Of course, retail is probably a very boring job but is this a pattern? I might be wrong, but try to gain some awareness about this.

I think a counselor and/or psychologist could really help you. I've read other stories on this board with people improving greatly after treatment or with medication. Depression is a medical problem.

Taking a year off might be the best thing, only you can tell. It's certainly better than throwing out this opportunity of a lifetime. Keep in mind that 1st year is usually the busiest because it's all text-book stuff. With an MD or DO degree you pretty much have the strongest academic degree out there so you don't have to be a doctor. You could teach, do research, etc.

Good luck and take it one day at a time!

 

[MilkmanAl]

Of course, retail is probably a very boring job but is this a pattern? I might be wrong, but try to gain some awareness about this.

I think I see the pattern! When you do things that suck, you get tired of them after a little while. Did I get it right?

 

[SteinUmStein]

I think I see the pattern! When you do things that suck, you get tired of them after a little while. Did I get it right?

If every first year med student who felt like this quit, we would have very few physicians. OP, if you're still reading any of this, get the help you need and move forward.

 

[valkener]

I think I see the pattern! When you do things that suck, you get tired of them after a little while. Did I get it right?

Real smart - some people have problems sticking with things, thus the pattern.

 

[MilkmanAl]

Real smart - some people have problems sticking with things, thus the pattern.

Oh yeah, I forgot SDN is the last place on earth I should be expecting people to have a sense of humor. Thanks for the reminder. Seriously, though, if the OP has problems sticking with things, counseling probably won't be enough to "help" him gut out med school. This **** sucks even for people who are all about medicine and everything that comes with it.

 

[Conando]

Just an update --

Counseling has helped a lot. I no longer feel depressed, in fact I feel great most days (without drugs). I lost all the weight I gained since I started med school and I feel like I am leading a pretty balanced life considering I spend most of my days trapped in lecture/library/clinic.

But counseling has given me the clarity I needed to make this decision: I'm not coming back to med school this fall or ever.

There's a million reasons for why I am doing this, but it boils down to this.

To me, medicine is a sh***y job. There's a lot of other sh***y jobs out there, but they don't require 4 years of med school, 3 years of residency, and 200k of debt to obtain.

So I am finishing up this semester since I paid a lot of money they won't refund. But I also will start exploring other careers.

Thanks for your support.

 

[theseeker4]

Just an update --

Counseling has helped a lot. I no longer feel depressed, in fact I feel great most days (without drugs). I lost all the weight I gained since I started med school and I feel like I am leading a pretty balanced life considering I spend most of my days trapped in lecture/library/clinic.

But counseling has given me the clarity I needed to make this decision: I'm not coming back to med school this fall or ever.

There's a million reasons for why I am doing this, but it boils down to this.

To me, medicine is a sh***y job. There's a lot of other sh***y jobs out there, but they don't require 4 years of med school, 3 years of residency, and 200k of debt to obtain.

So I am finishing up this semester since I paid a lot of money they won't refund. But I also will start exploring other careers.

Thanks for your support.

Better to discover this now than at the end of year 4. Glad to hear you are doing better, and good luck!

 

[projectlogic]

Just an update --

Counseling has helped a lot. I no longer feel depressed, in fact I feel great most days (without drugs). I lost all the weight I gained since I started med school and I feel like I am leading a pretty balanced life considering I spend most of my days trapped in lecture/library/clinic.

But counseling has given me the clarity I needed to make this decision: I'm not coming back to med school this fall or ever.

There's a million reasons for why I am doing this, but it boils down to this.

To me, medicine is a sh***y job. There's a lot of other sh***y jobs out there, but they don't require 4 years of med school, 3 years of residency, and 200k of debt to obtain.

So I am finishing up this semester since I paid a lot of money they won't refund. But I also will start exploring other careers.

Thanks for your support.

Glad you're doing better. 👍

Life is too short to do something you hate.

 

[sirenomelia]

No way I could keep going to class knowing it didnt count ( that i wasnt finishing)

 

[router1]

Honestly, I felt this way too. I had a life after college and good group of friends while I was working and I haven't really seen them or hung out with them in a long time. And, I live 45 minutes away from the city

Personally, the thing that kept me going was the look of gratitude that you see in your patient's eyes after you've treated them. That has what has kept me going as I am preparing for boards and putting in 18 hour study days.

If you don't have that feeling, perhaps medicine isn't for you

Good luck!

 

[kautionwirez]

Good luck OP!

 

[Bacchus]

No way I could keep going to class knowing it didnt count ( that i wasnt finishing)

This.

 

[DrSnips]

No way I could keep going to class knowing it didnt count ( that i wasnt finishing)

I didn't even go to class when it did count. But congrats OP on having the guts to make the decision you made. I hope you find your calling.

 

[Star Fox]

honestly, i felt this way too. I had a life after college and good group of friends while i was working and i haven't really seen them or hung out with them in a long time. And, i live 45 minutes away from the city

personally, the thing that kept me going was the look of gratitude that you see in your patient's eyes after you've treated them. that has what has kept me going as i am preparing for boards and putting in 18 hour study days.

If you don't have that feeling, perhaps medicine isn't for you

good luck!

lol

 

[DrSnips]

Honestly, I felt this way too. I had a life after college and good group of friends while I was working and I haven't really seen them or hung out with them in a long time. And, I live 45 minutes away from the city

Personally, the thing that kept me going was the look of gratitude that you see in your patient's eyes after you've treated them. That has what has kept me going as I am preparing for boards and putting in 18 hour study days.

If you don't have that feeling, perhaps medicine isn't for you

Good luck!

I don't think medicine is for any of the attendings, residents or med students I have met. Or, as it was better put by Star Fox, lol.