racially insensitive remark, grounds for complaint?

[punkedoutriffs]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I feel your pain. I am a black woman...enough said.

There are some battles, however, that are really just not worth fighting.

I just watched "Think Like a Man" the other day. I would do everything to Gabrielle Union and Meagan Good. Ditto for Michael Ealy if I was a girl.

 

[Ashley1989]

What exactly passes your threshold for a "raciest" joke? Does one have to be insulting a person to their face? Clearly this bit of humor had a pernicious effect because it has caused the OP all this grief. The effect of racist humor in the workplace and in society at large is to solidify the existing racial hierarchies. People with white privilege (cue the moans and groans from legions of white SDNers about how they don't FEEL privileged) are often unaware of the fact that when they tell racist jokes with their friends, they're causing distress to people, people who end up torturing themselves wondering whether they should speak up, should report the racist-joke teller, etc etc.

I'm white myself, but as a queer woman I deal with this issue in other aspects of my life (eg, the rape joke).



Exactly. People with privilege sometimes have this mindset that racist, sexist jokes etc don't really matter as long as you don't "mean anything by it" - but you don't have to mean to hurt someone to hurt someone. The onus is on you not to tell hurtful jokes, not on people not to be offended by stuff that's offensive.

My threshold for a raciest joke doesn't matter, what I'm saying is that I doubt she meant it in a raciest way. If the OP felt isolated and upset than I'm really really sorry, however I don't think it was meant like that and to take it to that level will likely just cause more harm. I'm sure many of us have felt the pain of stereotypes and general nastiness, but sometimes you just have to build up your thick skin and pick your battles. Sometimes it's our own sensitivity that hurts us the most.

 

[Freesia88]

I just watched "Think Like a Man" the other day. I would do everything to Gabrielle Union and Meagan Good. Ditto for Michael Ealy if I was a girl.

Glad to know there is hope.

 

[MaenadsDance]

Yes, tell me where in this situation is there a bit of discrimination towards the patient? Tell me where does it reinforce the social hierarchy in which we live?

Well, clearly the joke had an effect on the OP and made him/her miserable. More to the point, jokes like this have a chilling effect when it comes to reporting acts of egregious racism, because people are conditioned to overlooking "minor" incidents for fear of looking over-sensitive. People have been complaining about the PC police for so long that most people won't report offensive jokes in the workplace, even when they're in the right, because they don't want to make waves. And then, if something more serious happens, people are already in the habit of just ignoring racist actions because it's too difficult, too risky, to make waves.

Additionally, people who are in the habit of making racist or sexist etc jokes among themselves are eventually going to be overheard by patients, and that IS going to have an effect on patient care. Stuff that seems harmless when no one is going to overhear isn't actually harmless when, inevitably, someone DOES overhear a joke that was inappropriate anyway, but is REALLY inappropriate when heard by the "wrong" person.

Finally, I'd challenge you to think what the point of telling a racist joke is, anyway. We joke with our colleagues to form a bond of trust and rapport in the workplace, and to create solidarity. What does it say about us when our method of forming that rapport is by retelling racist jokes we learned in the second grade? Why are racist jokes so EASY to tell? Why do we find it funny to make fun of a stereotyped immigrant's accent?

I would argue that the function of the racist joke is to form solidarity by excluding people. We make fun of people who are different from us in order to feel we have even more in common with the people laughing at our jokes. If I'm making fun of a gunner jerk, I'm building healthy solidarity with pre-med friends by saying about myself (and indirectly, about my friends), "We find this behavior ridiculous, because we value teamwork and cooperation more than perfect grades at the expense of decent relationships." But if I'm making fun of a patient of a different race than I am, what am I saying to my colleague or fellow student, if not, "This person is different from us because they're Asian - and that fact alone makes them an acceptable butt of my humor."

TL;DR - racist jokes solidify racist hierarchies because they make insider/outsider differences clearer and discourage people from reporting racist actions or statements because "it was just a joke."

 

[Contemplating]

Yes, tell me where in this situation is there a bit of discrimination towards the patient? Tell me where does it reinforce the social hierarchy in which we live?

Are you serious? So you think that making fun of someone's grammar (or lack thereof) does not at all imply some degree of superiority on the part of the nurse? Reinforcement of social hierarchy comes from separation of perceived abilities. We versus them. Or did you forget that the colonists tried to civilize the poor, uneducated "Indians."

 

[MaenadsDance]

Are you serious? So you think that making fun of someone's grammar (or lack thereof) does not at all imply some degree of superiority on the part of the nurse? Reinforcement of social hierarchy comes from separation of perceived abilities. We versus them. Or did you forget that the colonists tried to civilize the poor, uneducated "Indians."

...that was a lot more succinct than my TL;DR above, thanks. It's always a bit mind-boggling to me how people always want to take every racist joke out of context and talk about the particular motivations of the joker in that moment, rather than the effects of racist humor in the aggregate, but there it is.

 

[Freesia88]

Well, clearly the joke had an effect on the OP and made him/her miserable. More to the point, jokes like this have a chilling effect when it comes to reporting acts of egregious racism, because people are conditioned to overlooking "minor" incidents for fear of looking over-sensitive. People have been complaining about the PC police for so long that most people won't report offensive jokes in the workplace, even when they're in the right, because they don't want to make waves. And then, if something more serious happens, people are already in the habit of just ignoring racist actions because it's too difficult, too risky, to make waves.

Additionally, people who are in the habit of making racist or sexist etc jokes among themselves are eventually going to be overheard by patients, and that IS going to have an effect on patient care. Stuff that seems harmless when no one is going to overhear isn't actually harmless when, inevitably, someone DOES overhear a joke that was inappropriate anyway, but is REALLY inappropriate when heard by the "wrong" person.

Finally, I'd challenge you to think what the point of telling a racist joke is, anyway. We joke with our colleagues to form a bond of trust and rapport in the workplace, and to create solidarity. What does it say about us when our method of forming that rapport is by retelling racist jokes we learned in the second grade? Why are racist jokes so EASY to tell? Why do we find it funny to make fun of a stereotyped immigrant's accent?

I would argue that the function of the racist joke is to form solidarity by excluding people. We make fun of people who are different from us in order to feel we have even more in common with the people laughing at our jokes. If I'm making fun of a gunner jerk, I'm building healthy solidarity with pre-med friends by saying about myself (and indirectly, about my friends), "We find this behavior ridiculous, because we value teamwork and cooperation more than perfect grades at the expense of decent relationships." But if I'm making fun of a patient of a different race than I am, what am I saying to my colleague or fellow student, if not, "This person is different from us because they're Asian - and that fact alone makes them an acceptable butt of my humor."

TL;DR - racist jokes solidify racist hierarchies because they make insider/outsider differences clearer and discourage people from reporting racist actions or statements because "it was just a joke."

In light of this I would argue that a most crucial step would be for us the minorities to stop with the jokes ourselves. If I do not wish to be called a ****** by a white person, then it should also be unacceptable for a black person to call me that, even in jest.

Lol...even SDN will not let me type the N word

 

[Ashley1989]

...that was a lot more succinct than my TL;DR above, thanks. It's always a bit mind-boggling to me how people always want to take every racist joke out of context and talk about the particular motivations of the joker in that moment, rather than the effects of racist humor in the aggregate, but there it is.

I think the motivations of the joker should absolutely be taken into consideration. Isn't racism due to the individual being raciest and intolerant? That should be the divider between being raciest and being socially inept and insensitive. Just because a person is tactless and nasty that does not suddenly make them raciest

 

[punkedoutriffs]

I think the motivations of the joker should absolutely be taken into consideration. Isn't racism due to the individual being raciest and intolerant? That should be the divider between being raciest and being socially inept and insensitive. Just because a person is tactless and nasty that does not suddenly make them raciest

I disagree. Racism is a systemic illness, a cultural infection. It is the status quo. Both unconscious instigators and silent sufferers perpetrate the problem. People should be morally responsible for diagnosing and treating themselves and those around them.

 

[La Presse]

In light of this I would argue that a most crucial step would be for us the minorities to stop with the jokes ourselves. If I do not wish to be called a ****** by a white person, then it should also be unacceptable for a black person to call me that, even in jest.

Lol...even SDN will not let me type the N word

🙄

 

[Freesia88]

🙄

😕

 

[MaenadsDance]

I think the motivations of the joker should absolutely be taken into consideration. Isn't racism due to the individual being raciest and intolerant? That should be the divider between being raciest and being socially inept and insensitive. Just because a person is tactless and nasty that does not suddenly make them raciest

Okay, one thing - no offense, but it isn't spelled "raciest", it's spelled racist. "Raciest" means something entirely different.

Onto your main point, it may be worthwhile to distinguish between a PERSON being racist and a joke being racist. I happen to think that the OP's example of mocking an Asian person with a stereotyped immigrant Asian accent is a pretty darn racist joke. I have no idea what the nurse's thoughts are on race or on Asian folks in particular; I'm not interested in judging her innermost thoughts or her character. I AM, however, interested in judging her behavior - and her behavior is in my opinion racist.

Second, keep in mind that what you INTEND has very little to do with the effects of your actions. If the result of your joke is that someone is hurt and offended, and feels isolated and separated from the group, guess what? You did wrong, even if you didn't mean to.

re: Freesia, I'm white, but as a woman I try to stay away from rape jokes, blonde jokes etc for exactly the same reason.

 

[von Matterhorn]

Sounds like you need to grow some thick skin. Seriously, we live in a world where you can't really say anything these days without insulting someone 👎

I'm not justifying what she said, but honestly, was it that bad that you had to come on here and rant about it? I don't really think so.

 

[Arbor Vitae]

Everyone's a rittle bit lacist.

I made a similar comment once on SDN and got put on a two-week post ban.

Am I actually Asian? Yes. Why would you think I was kidding about that.
Btw, I never said her remark was "racist" (that's obviously a higher bar). It was racially insensitive. But yes, perhaps I should "grow up."

And OP, I think they meant are you Asian or Asian-American? As in, were you born here and have an American accent, or did you grow up in an Asian country and immigrate to America later in life like I assume the patient did?

 

[Ashley1989]

I disagree. Racism is a systemic illness, a cultural infection. It is the status quo. Both unconscious instigators and silent sufferers perpetrate the problem. People should be morally responsible for diagnosing and treating themselves and those around them.

I think that would be more along the lines of racial ignorance, which you can diagnose and treat by educating people. There's a huge difference between racial ignorance and racism in my personal opinion, and to group the two together is risky business indeed.

 

[La Presse]

😕

I thought the bolded was a joke. I had to stifle my laughter a little bit. I got your back Freesia.

 

[Contemplating]

I disagree. Racism is a systemic illness, a cultural infection. It is the status quo. Both unconscious instigators and silent sufferers perpetrate the problem. People should be morally responsible for diagnosing and treating themselves and those around them.

This.

Okay, one thing - no offense, but it isn't spelled "raciest", it's spelled racist. "Raciest" means something entirely different.

Onto your main point, it may be worthwhile to distinguish between a PERSON being racist and a joke being racist. I happen to think that the OP's example of mocking an Asian person with a stereotyped immigrant Asian accent is a pretty darn racist joke. I have no idea what the nurse's thoughts are on race or on Asian folks in particular; I'm not interested in judging her innermost thoughts or her character. I AM, however, interested in judging her behavior - and her behavior is in my opinion racist.

Second, keep in mind that what you INTEND has very little to do with the effects of your actions. If the result of your joke is that someone is hurt and offended, and feels isolated and separated from the group, guess what? You did wrong, even if you didn't mean to.

re: Freesia, I'm white, but as a woman I try to stay away from rape jokes, blonde jokes etc for exactly the same reason.

And this.

 

[Narmerguy]

For what it's worth, I I just talked to a couple physicians about this scenario and they agreed this was definitely inappropriate, especially if it wasn't in a room of only "friends" where there's no concern about someone taking it the wrong way or being offended.

 

[Ashley1989]

Okay, one thing - no offense, but it isn't spelled "raciest", it's spelled racist. "Raciest" means something entirely different.

Onto your main point, it may be worthwhile to distinguish between a PERSON being racist and a joke being racist. I happen to think that the OP's example of mocking an Asian person with a stereotyped immigrant Asian accent is a pretty darn racist joke. I have no idea what the nurse's thoughts are on race or on Asian folks in particular; I'm not interested in judging her innermost thoughts or her character. I AM, however, interested in judging her behavior - and her behavior is in my opinion racist.

Second, keep in mind that what you INTEND has very little to do with the effects of your actions. If the result of your joke is that someone is hurt and offended, and feels isolated and separated from the group, guess what? You did wrong, even if you didn't mean to.

re: Freesia, I'm white, but as a woman I try to stay away from rape jokes, blonde jokes etc for exactly the same reason.

Thanks for letting me know, I'm on my phone and I often have embarrassing misspellings which I usually catch after I re read what I posted.

In response, while one can offend and isolate another, that does not mean that it is automatically racist (whew caught that one) if it concerns race. However, if it offends someone then the person who was offended and should speak up, which it the OP really was that upset then a simple remark would probably work. My best guy friend said that a girl who he was talking to had messed up hair because it was (insert type of unique hair here that I also have). Was he meaning to offend me? No, but I was hurt so I told him so. That doesn't mean he suddenly is a bad person, just that I had an issue with what he said and I told him so. If the OP has a problem, say so, but to immediately brand something as racist is taking it to a whole new level.

For what it's worth, I don't think the nurse was appropriate or professional, but that would be because of how she wasn't respectful to the patient irregardless of race or if the patient heard.

 

[lobo.solo]

Well, clearly the joke had an effect on the OP and made him/her miserable. More to the point, jokes like this have a chilling effect when it comes to reporting acts of egregious racism, because people are conditioned to overlooking "minor" incidents for fear of looking over-sensitive. People have been complaining about the PC police for so long that most people won't report offensive jokes in the workplace, even when they're in the right, because they don't want to make waves. And then, if something more serious happens, people are already in the habit of just ignoring racist actions because it's too difficult, too risky, to make waves.

Additionally, people who are in the habit of making racist or sexist etc jokes among themselves are eventually going to be overheard by patients, and that IS going to have an effect on patient care. Stuff that seems harmless when no one is going to overhear isn't actually harmless when, inevitably, someone DOES overhear a joke that was inappropriate anyway, but is REALLY inappropriate when heard by the "wrong" person.

Finally, I'd challenge you to think what the point of telling a racist joke is, anyway. We joke with our colleagues to form a bond of trust and rapport in the workplace, and to create solidarity. What does it say about us when our method of forming that rapport is by retelling racist jokes we learned in the second grade? Why are racist jokes so EASY to tell? Why do we find it funny to make fun of a stereotyped immigrant's accent?

I would argue that the function of the racist joke is to form solidarity by excluding people. We make fun of people who are different from us in order to feel we have even more in common with the people laughing at our jokes. If I'm making fun of a gunner jerk, I'm building healthy solidarity with pre-med friends by saying about myself (and indirectly, about my friends), "We find this behavior ridiculous, because we value teamwork and cooperation more than perfect grades at the expense of decent relationships." But if I'm making fun of a patient of a different race than I am, what am I saying to my colleague or fellow student, if not, "This person is different from us because they're Asian - and that fact alone makes them an acceptable butt of my humor."

TL;DR - racist jokes solidify racist hierarchies because they make insider/outsider differences clearer and discourage people from reporting racist actions or statements because "it was just a joke."

Humans make jokes about others' peculiarities, but doesn't mean that we discriminate towards the peculiarity we're making fun of. For instance, there was one time someone at work laughed at the way I said "Michael Jordan" (she said it was weird how I pronounce the word Jordan), would that make me think she is racist towards Latino people with accents? Not really, because the situation occurred within a context. The problem with this situation and your deep analysis is that you are viewing the incident out of context and I think the context is what would determine if this was an act of racism/discrimination or an attempt to maintain the status quo.

Are you serious? So you think that making fun of someone's grammar (or lack thereof) does not at all imply some degree of superiority on the part of the nurse? Reinforcement of social hierarchy comes from separation of perceived abilities. We versus them. Or did you forget that the colonists tried to civilize the poor, uneducated "Indians."

People tend to make jokes about the peculiarities of others' that is just the way it is. To make the assumption of "we vs them" you will have to really analyzed the behavior of the nurse. Does she have Asian friends? does she joke like that with her friends? Has she even joke around like that with patients? Does she have other patterns in her behavior that would provide evidence of her "racism" and "superiority."

 

[La Presse]

Humans make jokes about others' peculiarities, but doesn't mean that we discriminate towards the peculiarity we're making fun of. For instance, there was one time someone at work laughed at the way I said "Michael Jordan" (she said it was weird how I pronounce the word Jordan), would that make me think she is racist towards Latino people with accents? Not really, because the situation occurred within a context. The problem with this situation and your deep analysis is that you are viewing the incident out of context and I think the context is what would determine if this was an act of racism/discrimination or an attempt to maintain the status quo.

Alternatively, you could have asked her. people get very defensive when you accuse them of being racist, very defensive.

 

[Contemplating]

Thanks for letting me know, I'm on my phone and I often have embarrassing misspellings which I usually catch after I re read what I posted.

In response, while one can offend and isolate another, that does not mean that it is automatically racist (whew caught that one) if it concerns race. However, if it offends someone then the person who was offended and should speak up, which it the OP really was that upset then a simple remark would probably work. My best guy friend said that a girl who he was talking to had messed up hair because it was (insert type of unique hair here that I also have). Was he meaning to offend me? No, but I was hurt so I told him so. That doesn't mean he suddenly is a bad person, just that I had an issue with what he said and I told him so. If the OP has a problem, say so, but to immediately brand something as racist is taking it to a whole new level.

For what it's worth, I don't think the nurse was appropriate or professional, but that would be because of how she wasn't respectful to the patient irregardless of race or if the patient heard.

I think the point they're trying to make is that the greater evil in this story is the fact that racism is a social education that is pervasive in our society. It doesn't matter if individuals are trying to be harmless. When remarks are made that have racially derogatory implications, then they're helping to contribute to the social acceptability of racism.

But I agree with you that reprimanding the nurse, when her intentions were not malicious, is not the best level of action to take. Racism has to be solved from the bottom up. Not the top down.

 

[McPhee]

I just watched "Think Like a Man" the other day. I would do everything to Gabrielle Union and Meagan Good. Ditto for Michael Ealy if I was a girl.

You named three relatively light-skinned Blacks. How progressive of you. 🙄

 

[kpcrew]

I look forward to seeing many of you as my peers in the future since racism is apparently okay.

 

[punkedoutriffs]

You named three relatively light-skinned Blacks. How progressive of you. 🙄

Gabby Union?

 

[Contemplating]

People tend to make jokes about the peculiarities of others' that is just the way it is. To make the assumption of "we vs them" you will have to really analyzed the behavior of the nurse. Does she have Asian friends? does she joke like that with her friends? Has she even joke around like that with patients? Does she have other patterns in her behavior that would provide evidence of her "racism" and "superiority."

I think you're misunderstanding me. You asked where, in that situation, would the social hierarchy be reinforced. I did not say that the nurse was asserting her superiority (that would be an individual analysis), I said that her remark gave a context for the white superiority that's already been established in this country. As a couple posters and I have already explained, racism is a systemic disease. Individuals only intentionally or unintentionally maintain it.

 

[Arbor Vitae]

I look forward to seeing many of you as my peers in the future since racism is apparently okay.

wot

 

[lobo.solo]

Alternatively, you could have asked her. people get very defensive when you accuse them of being racist, very defensive.

Sure, but the fact is I don't think she was racist, because I am analyzing the situation within a context.

 

[Ashley1989]

I look forward to seeing many of you as my peers in the future since racism is apparently okay.

No one here has said that racism is okay, people are trying to distinguish when they should call something racist.

 

[Arbor Vitae]

No one here has said that racism is okay, people are trying to distinguish when they should call something racist.

Just ignore him, if you look at his post history, most comments are terse criticisms of others without adding anything to the discussion at hand.

 

[Ashley1989]

I have found that most people who make racially insensitive comments are very apologetic when you tell them that you have been hurt, and are very receptive. Racists, on the other hand are not nearly as graceful.

 

[lobo.solo]

I think you're misunderstanding me. You asked where, in that situation, would the social hierarchy be reinforced. I did not say that the nurse was asserting her superiority (that would be an individual analysis), I said that her remark gave a context for the white superiority that's already been established in this country. As a couple posters and I have already explained, racism is a systemic disease. Individuals only intentionally or unintentionally maintain it.

Ok, her remark has to be analyzed within a context. You cannot take someones' statement and analyze it without the background information that pertains to the statement; this is what a lot of politicians do when they're campaigning for office. The context is given by analyzing the motives, the history, the personality, and other things that provide the whole picture.

I totally agree with you and other in that racism is a systemic issue and that it has evolved to a more subtle problem, which makes it hard to detect. However, you cannot jump into a premature judgment without going further analysis.

 

[Ashley1989]

Just ignore him, if you look at his post history, most comments are terse criticisms of others without adding anything to the discussion at hand.

Hah 🙂 thanks for the heads up

 

[McPhee]

Gabby Union?

Also, I don't think the "I'm not racist because I'd have sex with a black woman" argument is valid. It is actually quite troubling, and you should know better.

 

[Contemplating]

Ok, her remark has to be analyzed within a context. You cannot take someones' statement and analyze it without the background information that pertains to the statement; this is what a lot of politicians do when they're campaigning for office. The context is given by analyzing the motives, the history, the personality, and other things that provide the whole picture.

I totally agree with you and other in that racism is a systemic issue and that it has evolved to a more subtle problem, which makes it hard to detect. However, you cannot jump into a premature judgment without going further analysis.

That's the problem. Trying to analyze the background from which her comment came from would be trying to rationalize and defend her statement. Anyone who hears her remark and becomes offended by it won't have the luxury of analyzing the background from which her comment arose. More relevant is the fact that her comment doesn't need a context to be explicitly derogatory. What she said reflects on the greater history of this country as a whole -- a history of insensitivity, lack of toleration, etc. The repercussions of her comment creates ramifications in the future of social racism, whether you're willing to acknowledge that or not.

 

[punkedoutriffs]

Also, I don't think the "I'm not racist because I'd have sex with a black woman" argument is valid. It is actually quite troubling, and you should know better.

I never claimed this, although I suppose you can argue I did so implicitly. I just said the thing about those actresses because I watched the movie recently and Freesia said she was a black girl. Maybe I'm as guilty as the nurse.

BTW, look at the lighting for that picture! She's probably got a bunch of shiny make-up on the light is the reflection of the camera flashes!

 

[La Presse]

This thread is making my stomach hurt.

 

[greatnt249]

That's the problem. Trying to analyze the background from which her comment came from would be trying to rationalize and defend her statement. Anyone who hears her remark and becomes offended by it won't have the luxury of analyzing the background from which her comment arose. More relevant is the fact that her comment doesn't need a context to be explicitly derogatory. What she said reflects on the greater history of this country as a whole -- a history of insensitivity, lack of toleration, etc. The repercussions of her comment creates ramifications in the future of social racism, whether you're willing to acknowledge that or not.

Not rationalizing the actions of this nurse, but a history of insensitivity and lack of toleration is hardly limited to the USA.

 

[punkedoutriffs]

Not rationalizing the actions of this nurse, but a history of insensitivity and lack of toleration is hardly limited to the USA.

In some countries, it is a lot worse. However, there's one difference. The USA is burdened by the American Mythos of equality. What do we teach our children in schools? Everyone is equal. No one is better than another simply because of race or class or gender or sexuality. That's the explicit curriculum of American education. But anyone that grew up here will tell you that there's another curriculum of study on the playgrounds, the shopping malls, the bars, the social institutions, etc. that goes completely against the egalitarian utopia presented to us in our most formative years. It's this disparity and the cognitive dissonance that results that arguably causes more damage than if the lines in the sand were drawn consistently across all spectra.

 

[Contemplating]

Not rationalizing the actions of this nurse, but a history of insensitivity and lack of toleration is hardly limited to the USA.

That's true, but the USA is a prime example of the racialized system that exists in this world in general. The USA was established by racial inequality, and as one of the dominant powers, its upper-tier position is a highlight on racial inequality.

 

[La Presse]

That's true, but the USA is a prime example of the racialized system that exists in this world in general. The USA was established by racial inequality, and as one of the dominant powers, its upper-tier position is a highlight on racial inequality.

Despite all of this, we are beginning to experiencing the "browning" of America.

 

[mohad]

This thread...

 

[Contemplating]

Despite all of this, we are beginning to experiencing the "browning" of America.

America has been "brown" since the time of slavery. Centuries later blacks are still consistently the most underachieving population. I'm not even going to go into the reasons why. Just know: history, location, hegemony, and glass ceiling.

 

[HoltMD]

Yes, the remark made by the nurse was racially insensitive. It would be similar to a non white person talking redneck and doing the chicken dance while treating a white patient.

However, in the white world that we live in, a white person can pretty much say anything and get away with it because other white people witnessing such an act will totally deny that it happened.

So, bringing this situation up with your superior will be a waste of time.

 

[Ashley1989]

In some countries, it is a lot worse. However, there's one difference. The USA is burdened by the American Mythos of equality. What do we teach our children in schools? Everyone is equal. No one is better than another simply because of race or class or gender or sexuality. That's the explicit curriculum of American education. But anyone that grew up here will tell you that there's another curriculum of study on the playgrounds, the shopping malls, the bars, the social institutions, etc. that goes completely against the egalitarian utopia presented to us in our most formative years. It's this disparity and the cognitive dissonance that results that arguably causes more damage than if the lines in the sand were drawn consistently across all spectra.

True, however the way to start fighting inequality is by teaching the kids that there is no difference between them. What is the alternative, to say that there is and risk them growing up feeling superior or inferior? No, we teach them at a young age that we all are equal so that when that generation hits the real world with nasty racists, they will look at them and see ignorance. When that happens things slowly start to change. It isn't going to happen overnight however starting by telling the kids that there is equality and no difference amongst them is setting the stage for some real change.

 

[Ashley1989]

Yes, the remark made by the nurse was racially insensitive. It would be similar to a non white person talking redneck and doing the chicken dance while treating a white patient.

However, in the white world that we live in, a white person can pretty much say anything and get away with it because other white people witnessing such an act will totally deny that it happened.

So, bringing this situation up with your superior will be a waste of time.

Has anyone actually said the nurse was white, or are we just blindly assuming it because she made a mean remark? It's not just white people who pull these antics, FYI. I've been discriminated against many times by Asians just like I've been discriminated at by whites, Mexicans, and blacks.

Although, come to think of it, the meanest and most hurtful memories were when I discriminated at by Asians 🙁

 

[punkedoutriffs]

True, however the way to start fighting inequality is by teaching the kids that there is no difference between them. What is the alternative, to say that there is and risk them growing up feeling superior or inferior? No, we teach them at a young age that we all are equal so that when that generation hits the real world with nasty racists, they will look at them and see ignorance. When that happens things slowly start to change. It isn't going to happen overnight however starting by telling the kids that there is equality and no difference amongst them is setting the stage for some real change.

I don't know. Overwhelmingly, I have seen larger cultural forces completely smother any effects that formal education might have hoped to instill. By the time I reached high school, the tables in the cafeteria were firmly divided by race and class, and remarks about the perversity of such arrangements were few and ineffectual.

 

[Ashley1989]

I don't know. Overwhelmingly, I have seen larger cultural forces completely smother any effects that formal education might have hoped to instill. By the time I reached high school, the tables in the cafeteria were firmly divided by race and class, and remarks about the perversity of such arrangements were few and ineffectual.

That's why it's important to distinguish between racial ignorance (cattiness) and flat out racism. If we label any negative interaction that deals with race as racism, then when it "really" happens it confuses us as to if we should speak up or not, becuase in the past we have seen what we perceive as racism yet stay quiet. Look at the advice to the OP, so many people label it as racism yet tell the OP to choose their battles wisely and not say anything. When someone is truly being racist, someone NEEDS to speak up and deal with that person, and deal with them differently than if the person was merely being ignorant. If we brand everything as racist yet don't take a stand against it every time, then how can we as a society hope for anything to change? We need consistency as a society and as an individual to courage to see racism and stand up against it, something I'm not seeing here.

 

[Freesia88]

That's why it's important to distinguish between racial ignorance (cattiness) and flat out racism. If we label any negative interaction that deals with race as racism, then when it "really" happens it confuses us as to if we should speak up or not, becuase in the past we have seen what we perceive as racism yet stay quiet. Look at the advice to the OP, so many people label it as racism yet tell the OP to choose their battles wisely and not say anything. When someone is truly being racist, someone NEEDS to speak up and deal with that person, and deal with them differently than if the person was merely being ignorant. If we brand everything as racist yet don't take a stand against it every time, then how can we as a society hope for anything to change? We need consistency as a society and as an individual to courage to see racism and stand up against it, something I'm not seeing here.

The question is of how to distinguish between when it is cattiness based on ignorance (in which case issuing a formal complaint to HR would be overkill...hence the "choose your battles" adage) and when it is outright mean spirited racism.

Also, anyone who lays claim to the title "adult," "employer" and/or "employee" should know that there are certain things you just do not say or do in a professional situation.

Making this distinction is getting harder partly because even us the minorities blur those lines by cracking racist jokes among ourselves and this desensitizes the public to it. So a first step would be for us to stop these jokes.

 

[Arbor Vitae]

Yes, the remark made by the nurse was racially insensitive. It would be similar to a non white person talking redneck and doing the chicken dance while treating a white patient.

However, in the white world that we live in, a white person can pretty much say anything and get away with it because other white people witnessing such an act will totally deny that it happened.

So, bringing this situation up with your superior will be a waste of time.

What if the nurse said, "Hey ya'll, yeeeee-haaaa!", would you report that?