RANT HERE thread

[awesomenessity]

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I’d still go with new farrier and see if they’re more freakin reliable and responsive.
Edit: especially since your original farrier doesn’t want to have to come out for just one horse regularly

Yup, that's my plan. At least new farrier seems to actually want my business I only have like 2-3 more trims to get through before I move provinces, then I get to find a farrier all over again! Yayyyyy 🙄

 

[TheGirlWithTheFernTattoo]

Yup, that's my plan. At least new farrier seems to actually want my business I only have like 2-3 more trims to get through before I move provinces, then I get to find a farrier all over again! Yayyyyy 🙄

I can give you a hand with that; equine club here frequently works with about 8 different farriers including the one that looks after the teaching/research horse herd.

 

[awesomenessity]

I can give you a hand with that; equine club here frequently works with about 8 different farriers including the one that looks after the teaching/research horse herd.

Yaaaaas thank you I'm still not sure what kind of living situation I'm going to go for, but I'm leaning hard into the "rent/maybe buy? an acreage and bring all the horses with me" option so having a reliable farrier is going to be a necessity!

 

[Melchizedek]

going to be a necessity!

I am very disappointed in you for not saying its an "awesomenecessity"

 

[that redhead]

@CoffeeQuestionMark is it something you’d feel comfortable having a GP do? You can always submit for biopsy and if you want to pursue more radical excision or chemo, you could?

 

[JustPaws]

@CoffeeQuestionMark is it something you’d feel comfortable having a GP do? You can always submit for biopsy and if you want to pursue more radical excision or chemo, you could?

I wondered the smae, but then wasn't sure how complicated vasculature and post op of the tongue is?

 

[that redhead]

My rant is that yesterday, my neighbor’s dog got into my yard (fully fenced) and killed four of my seven chickens. My husband got a text from a second neighbor so he brought in the last dying one for me to euthanize. The remaining three have been hiding in their coop all day today 🙁

We’ve lost one here and there to a fox or a hawk- I get it, it’s nature and while it’s sad, it’s going to happen. But this neighbor’s dogs are always loose and she had to put up a fence, which they aren’t always in. There is zero reason it should be on my property, let alone killing my chickens that I consider pets. To ice the cake, she hasn’t called, stooped by, left a note or anything to apologize at the very least. Thinking of my poor ladies lying outside suffering while she did nothing breaks my heart. I’m planning to call animal control on Monday and report her; I can’t decide if I want her to come by so I can ream her out or not.

 

[that redhead]

I wondered the smae, but then wasn't sure how complicated vasculature and post op of the tongue is?

I found a tongue mass on an older Aussie during routine COHAT a couple months ago. Narrow margins because it looked exactly like a papilloma but turned out to be a well-differentiated but malignant melanoma (I guess @JaynaAli can speak to that, but apparently they behave benignly most of the time.) He’s going for melanoma vaccine now and doing great, tongue has healed beautifully! Definitely depends on size and location but even debulking may make her more comfortable 🙂 (None of this medical advice of course!)

 

[CoffeeQuestionMark]

@CoffeeQuestionMark is it something you’d feel comfortable having a GP do? You can always submit for biopsy and if you want to pursue more radical excision or chemo, you could?

I did feel comfortable until the GP I met with expressed heavy hesitation
She felt the risks outweighed the benefits

After talking with more people, I'm feeling like I'm giving in too soon.
So I have two ideas to follow through prior to Thursday

1) Talk to the actual DR that is supposed to be doing the dental and ask her to do the mass removal, instead of the surgery team (I don't actually know if this Dr was ever part of the initial decision making) - I will call the VTH on Monday to see how that goes
2) Seek out another GP's opinion - I decided this morning to make another appointment with a different GP. The clinic is in the next town over. They loudly advertise surgery (it's in the clinic name) so even though they aren't board certified surgeons, I'm hoping they'll be better equipped and more comfortable with it?

I scheduled the appointment for Tuesday, so that I have Monday to call the VTH and talk with the Dr there first.

I definitely don't want to pursue chemo. I'm upset that I even let them talk me in to radiographs without discussing it with other people first, honestly.

 

[CoffeeQuestionMark]

My rant is that yesterday, my neighbor’s dog got into my yard (fully fenced) and killed four of my seven chickens. My husband got a text from a second neighbor so he brought in the last dying one for me to euthanize. The remaining three have been hiding in their coop all day today 🙁

We’ve lost one here and there to a fox or a hawk- I get it, it’s nature and while it’s sad, it’s going to happen. But this neighbor’s dogs are always loose and she had to put up a fence, which they aren’t always in. There is zero reason it should be on my property, let alone killing my chickens that I consider pets. To ice the cake, she hasn’t called, stooped by, left a note or anything to apologize at the very least. Thinking of my poor ladies lying outside suffering while she did nothing breaks my heart. I’m planning to call animal control on Monday and report her; I can’t decide if I want her to come by so I can ream her out or not.

Hopefully animal control does something, but it seems like it'd even be worth it to involve the police

 

[CoffeeQuestionMark]

I found a tongue mass on an older Aussie during routine COHAT a couple months ago. Narrow margins because it looked exactly like a papilloma but turned out to be a well-differentiated but malignant melanoma (I guess @JaynaAli can speak to that, but apparently they behave benignly most of the time.) He’s going for melanoma vaccine now and doing great, tongue has healed beautifully! Definitely depends on size and location but even debulking may make her more comfortable 🙂 (None of this medical advice of course!)

The first vet we saw about it (3-4 years ago) said the same thing about looking like a papilloma. It's much larger now (I heard the measurement was 4cm x 4cm? I'm not so good at visually measuring anything except for punch biopsies)

 

[Caiter92]

I did feel comfortable until the GP I met with expressed heavy hesitation
She felt the risks outweighed the benefits

After talking with more people, I'm feeling like I'm giving in too soon.
So I have two ideas to follow through prior to Thursday

1) Talk to the actual DR that is supposed to be doing the dental and ask her to do the mass removal, instead of the surgery team (I don't actually know if this Dr was ever part of the initial decision making) - I will call the VTH on Monday to see how that goes
2) Seek out another GP's opinion - I decided this morning to make another appointment with a different GP. The clinic is in the next town over. They loudly advertise surgery (it's in the clinic name) so even though they aren't board certified surgeons, I'm hoping they'll be better equipped and more comfortable with it?

I scheduled the appointment for Tuesday, so that I have Monday to call the VTH and talk with the Dr there first.

I definitely don't want to pursue chemo. I'm upset that I even let them talk me in to radiographs without discussing it with other people first, honestly.

Chest rads are really standard with any sort of mass or possible neoplasia in the VTH to make sure it hasn’t metastasized if it is neoplasia. I’m sorry you didn’t feel heard 🙁

I use that clinic you’re talking about, and she’s a really skilled surgeon. If she feels comfortable trying I’m sure she will. Hopefully you feel more supported by her when discussing options.

Also I was on community when you brought her in and she’s the sweetest! 🙂

 

[that redhead]

The first vet we saw about it (3-4 years ago) said the same thing about looking like a papilloma. It's much larger now (I heard the measurement was 4cm x 4cm? I'm not so good at visually measuring anything except for punch biopsies)

So a sizeable mass, even if benign! I hope you’re able to find a solution where she’s comfortable and you feel good about the plan - the two most important things 🙂 Keep is posted.

 

[CoffeeQuestionMark]

Chest rads are really standard with any sort of mass or possible neoplasia in the VTH to make sure it hasn’t metastasized if it is neoplasia. I’m sorry you didn’t feel heard 🙁

I use that clinic you’re talking about, and she’s a really skilled surgeon. If she feels comfortable trying I’m sure she will. Hopefully you feel more supported by her when discussing options.

Also I was on community when you brought her in and she’s the sweetest! 🙂

She says thanks

I'm glad to hear about that clinic. @MixedAnimals77 also gave me the name of someone who works there to talk to, but the appointment cost is average so I think one more vet visit won't hurt.

 

[vetmedhead]

My rant is that yesterday, my neighbor’s dog got into my yard (fully fenced) and killed four of my seven chickens. My husband got a text from a second neighbor so he brought in the last dying one for me to euthanize. The remaining three have been hiding in their coop all day today 🙁

We’ve lost one here and there to a fox or a hawk- I get it, it’s nature and while it’s sad, it’s going to happen. But this neighbor’s dogs are always loose and she had to put up a fence, which they aren’t always in. There is zero reason it should be on my property, let alone killing my chickens that I consider pets. To ice the cake, she hasn’t called, stooped by, left a note or anything to apologize at the very least. Thinking of my poor ladies lying outside suffering while she did nothing breaks my heart. I’m planning to call animal control on Monday and report her; I can’t decide if I want her to come by so I can ream her out or not.

Hoping they give you some resolution. Many places have laws against animal aggressive animals that haven't bitten people yet (kind of nuisance animal type laws) and your area will almost certainly have laws about animals being free of restraint/breaking into other people's property. If at all possible I'd recommend taking photographs of her animals being free of restraint off her property to document and show the animal control officers when they show up. Animal vs animal calls are generally high priority (here at least), but only if they're currently occurring or there is still an injured animal left on scene, so it may take them a bit to follow up with you depending on the other calls they have and their department resources. It would also be helpful to document any future issues with her dogs over time (in a journal or even in emails to yourself - things like being free of restraint, getting on your property, attacking your animals, being threatening to you or others, etc) so that if there is no resolution immediately you have more things to present back to animal control or other agencies to document that this is an ongoing problem.

If you do have any discussions with her I'd be sure some kind of neutral third party is present. I've seen neighbor situations escalate quickly and people always claim their neighbors threatened them with all kinds of wild stuff and retaliate. It's probably for the best to let animal control be your intermediary and stay out of it as best you can, as much as it's frustrating that she refused to take responsibility for anything.

 

[that redhead]

Hoping they give you some resolution. Many places have laws against animal aggressive animals that haven't bitten people yet (kind of nuisance animal type laws) and your area will almost certainly have laws about animals being free of restraint/breaking into other people's property. If at all possible I'd recommend taking photographs of her animals being free of restraint off her property to document and show the animal control officers when they show up. Animal vs animal calls are generally high priority (here at least), but only if they're currently occurring or there is still an injured animal left on scene, so it may take them a bit to follow up with you depending on the other calls they have and their department resources. It would also be helpful to document any future issues with her dogs over time (in a journal or even in emails to yourself - things like being free of restraint, getting on your property, attacking your animals, being threatening to you or others, etc) so that if there is no resolution immediately you have more things to present back to animal control or other agencies to document that this is an ongoing problem.

If you do have any discussions with her I'd be sure some kind of neutral third party is present. I've seen neighbor situations escalate quickly and people always claim their neighbors threatened them with all kinds of wild stuff and retaliate. It's probably for the best to let animal control be your intermediary and stay out of it as best you can, as much as it's frustrating that she refused to take responsibility for anything.

I was hoping you might chime in with your experience- thank you. We have a trail camera in the backyard that (fortunately or unfortunately) caught the whole incident. I looked into our county’s guidelines and with killing other animals, the dog would be classified as “potentially dangerous” plus additional penalty for not being properly restrained/roaming free/actually on MY property. I feel pretty confident someone must have reported her a while back resulting in her installing her fence in the first place- her dogs would be loose/roaming frequently before that (always with her calling them to no avail...) It’s just so sad 🙁

 

[vetmedhead]

Don't quote as I'll delete this shortly

Edit: animal cruelty stuff

 

[vetmedhead]

I was hoping you might chime in with your experience- thank you. We have a trail camera in the backyard that (fortunately or unfortunately) caught the whole incident. I looked into our county’s guidelines and with killing other animals, the dog would be classified as “potentially dangerous” plus additional penalty for not being properly restrained/roaming free/actually on MY property. I feel pretty confident someone must have reported her a while back resulting in her installing her fence in the first place- her dogs would be loose/roaming frequently before that (always with her calling them to no avail...) It’s just so sad 🙁

The video is really good, I'd save it and definitely pass it along to animal control. You're right that repeated animal attacks could qualify an animal as dangerous eventually, it can just take longer sometimes as these are often applied to cases where dogs are attacking other dogs and potentially putting people in harm's way when they intervene to protect their pets. Depending on the area and the specific dangerous dog laws, some judges have very high standards for dangerous dog cases, as the housing requirements are stringent and the animals have to be euthanized if they can't be housed according to the requirements.

Hopefully some citations and follow up from animal control will get her into compliance so her dogs stop attacking your animals and making your neighborhood less safe!

 

[RTC19]

That's HORRIBLE. I am so sorry that happened to you, @that redhead. *hug*

 

[Stroganoff]

*awkwardly puts down chicken as I read these posts*

Sorry TRH. I hope neighbor lady is silent because she's scared vs. genuinely a ****ty person. It's good your trail camera caught the action. I second not reaming the neighbor without animal control present. I can't imagine that going well even if it's therapeutic in your head. Are you close to popping btw? Idk how severe emotional distress can adversely affect that.

 

[that redhead]

@Stroganoff in all honesty I think she probably feels awful about the incident. As annoying and dumb as I’ve found her to be while we’ve lived here, i don’t think she’s a mean or heartless person.

I’m the sort of person who internalizes everything and am not at all confrontational so I like to think I’d make her feel terrible and be nasty but in all honesty I would probably do a poor job. I would tell her I’m reporting to animal control and to make sure she finds a way that it never happens again. And yes, I’m due in a few weeks, eek.

 

[itsrocky]

I had a follow up with an internist this Friday to see how my lungs were doing. After the x ray he asked me if I wanted to come read it for him. If only I had known that was because they had so many obvious problems

There’s some pleural effusion where my tear was. And the rest just looks hazy. After a CT and an ultrasound they decided it might need to be tapped and I told them I’d rather try some empirical abx and see how Monday’s x rays look. They gave me the option so

my favorite game this weekend has been: am I really short of breath, or is it all in my head?

 

[Lupin21]

I had a follow up with an internist this Friday to see how my lungs were doing. After the x ray he asked me if I wanted to come read it for him. If only I had known that was because they had so many obvious problems

There’s some pleural effusion where my tear was. And the rest just looks hazy. After a CT and an ultrasound they decided it might need to be tapped and I told them I’d rather try some empirical abx and see how Monday’s x rays look. They gave me the option so

my favorite game this weekend has been: am I really short of breath, or is it all in my head?

Aaaahhhh! I am so sorry for you going through this. Breathing problems are def the worst. Don't be afraid to get help. It is too scary otherwise. Tapping is not always the answer, but if it is, the relief is so worth it. 🙂

Hang in there. We are here for you.

 

[awesomenessity]

Update: Organize a brand new farrier because it's been 12 hours and I still hadn't heard from Original Farrier. Literally 2 minutes after I get New Farrier set up, Original Farrier texts me about Monday

Further update: Got new farrier out. Turns out she’s the assistant that trimmed him in the first place! I can’t even she did a much better job this time though so he should be good to go back to work. Which is good cause he’s turned into a land whale in the last 2 weeks lol

 

[SkiOtter]

Further update: Got new farrier out. Turns out she’s the assistant that trimmed him in the first place! I can’t even she did a much better job this time though so he should be good to go back to work. Which is good cause he’s turned into a land whale in the last 2 weeks lol

Oh god this is just a hot mess of a story
I’m glad she did a better job this time!!

 

[altadama]

My grandmother was admitted to the hospital unresponsive this morning. My parents went to the hospital, but I couldn't go with them because I had to leave to come back to school for a mandatory class tomorrow and an exam on Tuesday. I literally felt like the worst person in the world driving back to school, and now I'm just here by myself and completely unable to focus on studying. Sometimes I really hate vet school....I just want to go back home.

 

[Emily Faith]

My grandmother was admitted to the hospital unresponsive this morning. My parents went to the hospital, but I couldn't go with them because I had to leave to come back to school for a mandatory class tomorrow and an exam on Tuesday. I literally felt like the worst person in the world driving back to school, and now I'm just here by myself and completely unable to focus on studying. Sometimes I really hate vet school....I just want to go back home.

Hey. Just wanted to say I’ve 100% been there and I know how you feel. Vet school suddenly feels so irrelevant when someone you love is in the hospital and really the last thing you want to be doing. I’m so sorry. I hope you are able to be with family soon and can maybe have a few moments of clarity for studying in the meantime.

 

[WildZoo]

My grandmother was admitted to the hospital unresponsive this morning. My parents went to the hospital, but I couldn't go with them because I had to leave to come back to school for a mandatory class tomorrow and an exam on Tuesday. I literally felt like the worst person in the world driving back to school, and now I'm just here by myself and completely unable to focus on studying. Sometimes I really hate vet school....I just want to go back home.

Have you talked to your school admins at all? Perhaps you could delay the exam to be able to be home with your family for a little bit? I'm really sorry about your grandma, i hope you're able to work things out to be able to go home 🙁

 

[that redhead]

Just a quick update: I talked to AC today and they'll be by tomorrow to see the footage and get the ball rolling. Not going to lie, I feel SO uncomfortable about the whole situation. I HATE confrontation or the thought of other people getting in trouble because of me. But then I thought about my poor chickens dying cold and in the rain, inside my own damn (fenced) yard and I made myself call.

 

[staff_wielder]

Just a quick update: I talked to AC today and they'll be by tomorrow to see the footage and get the ball rolling. Not going to lie, I feel SO uncomfortable about the whole situation. I HATE confrontation or the thought of other people getting in trouble because of me. But then I thought about my poor chickens dying cold and in the rain, inside my own damn (fenced) yard and I made myself call.

Glad you made the call. Unacceptable on your neighbor's part. Sending hugs.

 

[deleted676737]

Just a quick update: I talked to AC today and they'll be by tomorrow to see the footage and get the ball rolling. Not going to lie, I feel SO uncomfortable about the whole situation. I HATE confrontation or the thought of other people getting in trouble because of me. But then I thought about my poor chickens dying cold and in the rain, inside my own damn (fenced) yard and I made myself call.

I have the same issue with hating confrontation + general phone anxiety, so I can certainly understand how hard it must have been to make that call. I’m glad that you did, though, and hopefully a good resolution comes about from it.

 

[Squeaksmom]

Dear god how long can a GI virus actually last? I've been puking for a week and a half. Already spent one night in the emergency room getting rehydrated and IV drugs. We're in the OR next week... I *can't* be this sick... I don't want to find out what kind of peritonitis it would cause if I puked into my patient's abdomen!! I can't have zofran or maxeran, and gravol makes me hallucinate. Obviously I've been taking it regardless. But this is getting ridiculous!

And no, I'm not pregnant! 😉

 

[ziggyandjazzy]

Some of you already know this but I got hit by a car while riding my bike to my first class since break 🙁 Ive been recovering from an injured knee from a soccer game and was just starting to feel a little better
I was biking down a long hill that leads to campus. The perpendicular streets all have stop signs but the street I was on doesnt have any. So I am biking down and a guy basically just rolls through a stop sign. I try braking, but it's raining and I dont have nearly enough room so I basically T-boned his car with my bike and then got thrown off onto my side. He stopped and everything to see if I am ok of course. My bike is a little messed up (should be fixable), I'm a bit sore and had to show up to class with wet jeans but besides that I am physically ok.
Last time I was in a bike accident, I wound up in the ER and had some bad injuries. I had to get my face glued back together (only a minor scar on my chin now), they took X-rays but didnt properly diagnose my broken scaphoid, and had oral trauma (that also wasn't addressed and later had to get a root canal but was lucky I didnt lose any teeth). Needless to say, the situation had me frazzled and I was trying to keep it together and not cry in class. I've had better days for sure 🙁

 

[vetmedhead]

I'm sorry that happened @ziggyandjazzy , that's really scary and I'm glad you weren't badly injured this time. Does your school have any counselors you could maybe chat to about it? I know it sounds excessive but I know after my wreck I realized how many negative car experiences I had had in my life (serious car wrecks, being driven by ludicrously unsafe drivers, etc) that I had never thought about, and I was basically double rattled because I started to dwell on how scary those experiences were all over again. It helped a lot to discuss it with others in a privileged space, and if that's something you're into it may be helpful to you as well.

I'm sorry to hear about your previous serious bike v car accident as well. It's scary to be injured, and to not have it dealt with appropriately on top of it.

Take it easy and take care of yourself. Feel free to reach out when you need to and hugs to you in the meantime

 

[ziggyandjazzy]

My rant is that yesterday, my neighbor’s dog got into my yard (fully fenced) and killed four of my seven chickens. My husband got a text from a second neighbor so he brought in the last dying one for me to euthanize. The remaining three have been hiding in their coop all day today 🙁

We’ve lost one here and there to a fox or a hawk- I get it, it’s nature and while it’s sad, it’s going to happen. But this neighbor’s dogs are always loose and she had to put up a fence, which they aren’t always in. There is zero reason it should be on my property, let alone killing my chickens that I consider pets. To ice the cake, she hasn’t called, stooped by, left a note or anything to apologize at the very least. Thinking of my poor ladies lying outside suffering while she did nothing breaks my heart. I’m planning to call animal control on Monday and report her; I can’t decide if I want her to come by so I can ream her out or not.

I actually have experience with this, though I am sure it is in a different state and the laws are a bit different.

Sometime in the past, about 10 years ago, I awoke to one of our chickens getting attacked by a neighbor's dog in the window well right outside my bedroom window. I think my sister was sleeping down in my room since we don't have AC and it's cooler in the basement. So when we heard the dog, we ran outside screaming, chasing the dog off.

Our other former neighbor was a relief veterinarian and came over and examined the chicken and brought it to work with her. The bird looked horrible, and everyone assumed she was euthanizing. Turns out she wasn't and sent pictures of our bird in surgery.
At some point in time, the neighbor with the chicken maiming dog agreed to pay for the vet bills since it was on our property. However, when he found out the bill was over $500, he refused. My parents ended up having to take him to small claims court where he eventually was required to pay. The case actually got looked at by Judge Judy (I **** you not) and we were invited onto the show. My parents refused as they said it would look "trashy" 🙄.

Anyways, I know my state has laws that really really protect livestock in cases like this. As in, you would not be at fault at all if a dog was shot while attempting to injure or actually injure livestock. In our case, their dog got reported to AC and had to be labelled something like a "dangerous dog" where they had to be really strict about containment iirc. In your case, I would not hesitate to get AC involved (and it looks like you have!).

And, I am very very sorry for your losses. Chickens are such wonderful pets to have.

 

[ziggyandjazzy]

I'm sorry that happened @ziggyandjazzy , that's really scary and I'm glad you weren't badly injured this time. Does your school have any counselors you could maybe chat to about it? I know it sounds excessive but I know after my wreck I realized how many negative car experiences I had had in my life (serious car wrecks, being driven by ludicrously unsafe drivers, etc) that I had never thought about, and I was basically double rattled because I started to dwell on how scary those experiences were all over again. It helped a lot to discuss it with others in a privileged space, and if that's something you're into it may be helpful to you as well.

I'm sorry to hear about your previous serious bike v car accident as well. It's scary to be injured, and to not have it dealt with appropriately on top of it.

Take it easy and take care of yourself. Feel free to reach out when you need to and hugs to you in the meantime

Thanks for the kind words. That's a good idea about the counselor. I should set up an appointment with ours.

The last accident wasn't with a car but sort of a strange fluke accident that threw me from the bike very hard. I relate to your experiences though. Even after the 2 months I was in a cast, I couldn't ride a bike for months and when I finally did, I rode sooo slow. I kept having flashbacks about the accident and it was very scary. I kept thinking something bad would happen again. Thankfully the experience today wasn't as traumatic for me, likely because I wasn't really injured.

 

[RTC19]

I'm so sorry that happened to you, @ziggyandjazzy. *hug*

 

[killerleaf]

{{{hugs}}} @ziggyandjazzy

 

[somebun]

Tired of living with people who can’t own up to themselves. I’m not a perfect roommate but I don’t want to deal with you telling me not to hurt your special mugs when you’ve cracked every set of dish ware I own. Or other similar situations

 

[deleted676737]

Feeling another episode of depression coming on, right on cue. Sweet.

**** this useless POS brain.

 

[Emily Faith]

Just curious if vet school has caused some familial strife for anyone else?

My family seems to be in a constant state of crisis. My grandmother passed away the day before finals week and my mother was admitted to the hospital for a joint infection the next day. She had surgery and is now on a very long in-home IV antibiotic regimen. The day my grandma died my mom told me that I “could do it” and sent me back to school where I thankfully managed to finish all five finals.

I have three siblings under the age of eight that have a lot of after-school activities, special needs,etc. When I am in town I do my best to help out but it never seems to be enough. I walk around with this constant guilt that they put on me for choosing vet school (I have two adult sisters who live in the home with them). If anything goes wrong, or anyone is stressed, the blame is immediately placed on me. I am so tense all the time that I am in physical pain because of it.

I was talking to some or my family excitedly about my clinics schedule when I found out it was posted and they laughed in my face and asked how that affected them.
Vet school is tough enough without feeling like your family doesn’t support you. I woke up feeling sick with a heavy chest and chills this morning and slept the entire day. My family didn’t bother to check on me once and are acting mad at me for not being able to “pull my weight” with the kids.

I’m handling it okay at this point (this is my third year of it and I’m getting so close to being done and completely financially independent from them). Just wanted to rant and see if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

 

[vetmedhead]

@Emily Faith it sounds like your family is unsupportive of your career training and has unreasonable expectations about what you should contribute when you're back at home. If taking care of your siblings is so hard that two other adult siblings in addition to one or both of your parents apparently can't manage it without you then you aren't the linchpin that's magically going to make that situation work. My guess is they are guilt tripping you about it to control you and tear you down.

I'm really sorry they're putting you through that, and that your loved ones are sick or passing away on top of that. If you'd like to talk to anyone about it feel free to PM me - I lost an uncle and my grandmother during vet school (and couldn't make the funerals because I was in a different state and it was finals week) and I decided to stop talking to my father entirely during vet school as well because he was such a toxic presence in my life. Also - my mother had a life threatening septic joint replacement when I was in high school and needed to have 3 surgeries and be on IV antibiotics for 2 months and ended up on a heavy duty antibiotic regimen for almost 18 months after that. It was a really isolating and frightening experience for me and I'm sorry you're going through something similar.

 

[ziggyandjazzy]

The alignment of the steering and my wheel on my bike were tweaked after the accident. My partner has tried multiple fixes but it just seems “off”. So now I have to pay to get my bike fixed. I’m going to be out $70+ easily. And like a ****ing idiot, of course I didn’t get the persons number or insurance information for who hit me to make them pay. Ugh.
This sucks.

 

[DVMDream]

Just curious if vet school has caused some familial strife for anyone else?

My family seems to be in a constant state of crisis. My grandmother passed away the day before finals week and my mother was admitted to the hospital for a joint infection the next day. She had surgery and is now on a very long in-home IV antibiotic regimen. The day my grandma died my mom told me that I “could do it” and sent me back to school where I thankfully managed to finish all five finals.

I have three siblings under the age of eight that have a lot of after-school activities, special needs,etc. When I am in town I do my best to help out but it never seems to be enough. I walk around with this constant guilt that they put on me for choosing vet school (I have two adult sisters who live in the home with them). If anything goes wrong, or anyone is stressed, the blame is immediately placed on me. I am so tense all the time that I am in physical pain because of it.

I was talking to some or my family excitedly about my clinics schedule when I found out it was posted and they laughed in my face and asked how that affected them.
Vet school is tough enough without feeling like your family doesn’t support you. I woke up feeling sick with a heavy chest and chills this morning and slept the entire day. My family didn’t bother to check on me once and are acting mad at me for not being able to “pull my weight” with the kids.

I’m handling it okay at this point (this is my third year of it and I’m getting so close to being done and completely financially independent from them). Just wanted to rant and see if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

They aren't your kids. Walk away and tell them to be responsible for the children they chose to have. It doesn't matter how old you are, they aren't your children, period. Don't be responsible for something that isn't your responsibility especially when they aren't appreciative of the help you do offer. They should be thanking you profusely for even the slightest pinky you raise to help with the children they elected to have.

 

[SkiOtter]

Just curious if vet school has caused some familial strife for anyone else?

My family seems to be in a constant state of crisis. My grandmother passed away the day before finals week and my mother was admitted to the hospital for a joint infection the next day. She had surgery and is now on a very long in-home IV antibiotic regimen. The day my grandma died my mom told me that I “could do it” and sent me back to school where I thankfully managed to finish all five finals.

I have three siblings under the age of eight that have a lot of after-school activities, special needs,etc. When I am in town I do my best to help out but it never seems to be enough. I walk around with this constant guilt that they put on me for choosing vet school (I have two adult sisters who live in the home with them). If anything goes wrong, or anyone is stressed, the blame is immediately placed on me. I am so tense all the time that I am in physical pain because of it.

I was talking to some or my family excitedly about my clinics schedule when I found out it was posted and they laughed in my face and asked how that affected them.
Vet school is tough enough without feeling like your family doesn’t support you. I woke up feeling sick with a heavy chest and chills this morning and slept the entire day. My family didn’t bother to check on me once and are acting mad at me for not being able to “pull my weight” with the kids.

I’m handling it okay at this point (this is my third year of it and I’m getting so close to being done and completely financially independent from them). Just wanted to rant and see if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

We’re your family now. I’m proud of you and clinics is exciting and definitely something you should share! You’ve persevered through this much of vet school so far and you’re getting so close to being done and being a vet. You can do this!!! You should NOT feel guilty about going to school and not helping take care of kids that aren’t yours.

 

[deleted676737]

Just curious if vet school has caused some familial strife for anyone else?

My family seems to be in a constant state of crisis. My grandmother passed away the day before finals week and my mother was admitted to the hospital for a joint infection the next day. She had surgery and is now on a very long in-home IV antibiotic regimen. The day my grandma died my mom told me that I “could do it” and sent me back to school where I thankfully managed to finish all five finals.

I have three siblings under the age of eight that have a lot of after-school activities, special needs,etc. When I am in town I do my best to help out but it never seems to be enough. I walk around with this constant guilt that they put on me for choosing vet school (I have two adult sisters who live in the home with them). If anything goes wrong, or anyone is stressed, the blame is immediately placed on me. I am so tense all the time that I am in physical pain because of it.

I was talking to some or my family excitedly about my clinics schedule when I found out it was posted and they laughed in my face and asked how that affected them.
Vet school is tough enough without feeling like your family doesn’t support you. I woke up feeling sick with a heavy chest and chills this morning and slept the entire day. My family didn’t bother to check on me once and are acting mad at me for not being able to “pull my weight” with the kids.

I’m handling it okay at this point (this is my third year of it and I’m getting so close to being done and completely financially independent from them). Just wanted to rant and see if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

Everyone else already gave you fantastic advice regarding the kids situation, so I won't repeat what they've said, though I do want to echo Ski's sentiment that we, your SDN family, are proud of you for making it as far as you have with all of this thrown at you. You have worked so, so incredibly hard---harder than those who are criticizing you and have not experienced vet school themselves could likely even imagine---to get where you are now and you have the absolute right to be excited about clinics and proud of how far you've come, especially with all of the setbacks you've had to overcome. I'm honestly the last person who should be telling others to relax but, whenever a good opportunity arises, you should do something completely unrelated to school and animals and vet med for you and your own well-being.

 

[SkiOtter]

@Elkhart are you currently seeing a therapist and back on your medications? I know a bit ago you said you weren’t able to get more of them since you couldn’t make it into the doctor. If not, are you able to get in soon even if you have to take a day off work to get new prescriptions? And get in with your therapist or a new one ASAP?

 

[battie]

@Elkhart you're making progress every day just on the merit of keeping on. Progress isn't leaps and bounds. Progress is simply moving forward. Whether it's just by getting some semblance of a regular schedule, or having better meals, whatever.

You. Are. Progressing.

There is no shame in having trepidation in starting something new. But you're going to stay in this vicious cycle if you *don't* take a leap of faith on something. I want you to be successful!! We are your SDN family. You'll have a lot of support and confidence here to support you.

 

[somebun]

@Elkhart I have virtual hugs for you if you'd like them (because even virtual hugs should have consent given)

 

[kaydubs]

@Elkhart - Sending love and hugs