Re-applicant reflection (522/3.9)

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foxmike123

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  1. Pre-Medical
Just reflecting on my application cycle thus far.

Short background:
  • T10 undergrad w/ 3.9 GPA
  • 522 MCAT
  • Majored in non-healthcare related cultural studies + environmental science
  • 3 gap years in MBB consulting
  • ~1,200 hours research (mix of clinical and non-clinical, and mostly during college)
  • ~1,000 hours clinical volunteering (mostly during my gap years)
  • ~500 hours non-clinical volunteering (mostly during gap years)
  • ~200 hours shadowing multiple specialties (mostly during gap years)
  • Multiple ECs in leadership/TA (though not in healthcare), healthcare innovation, and EMT
  • 4Q Casper
  • IA related to drinking + depression
I applied last cycle without a single interview invite. Only close friends who happened to all be at T20s reviewed some drafts of primaries and secondaries, and I completed all secondaries by end of July.

This current cycle, I sought a much wider range of support, having every person I knew read my personal statement, activities, secondary essays, update letters, and even finding former admissions officers in T20s to review writing. I stayed up until 4am regularly after finishing my day job at midnight in order to make sure my writing incorporated feedback while representing who I am. Luckily I got 4 interviews, and I enjoyed every single one with with 2 As, one WL, and awaiting one decision. Being able to speak to who I truly am has made me feel so much more confident in the whole process and boosted my excitement.

However, as excited as I am to have finally been interviewed and admitted, I feel a bit disappointed in that I didn't receive a single interview invite from the T30 or even any of my own in-state schools. I was just thinking what could I have done differently, and I wish I could see the feedback from the schools that turned me down (and the ones who liked me well-enough).

Maybe my writing isn't as good as I thought it was, maybe I shouldn't have been drinking that night, maybe I took too non-linear of a path where my devotion to the practice was dubious. Or perhaps I wrongly set my hopes too high in that I could have been a right fit for T30 schools to begin with. Or a combination of all of the above.

Not sure why I'm posting this. Part of it is to get this bit off my chest, as I feel no one I know understands this sentiment I have. And maybe another bit is I just want someone to tell me that I was never going to make it anyway. Or maybe just another datapoint for an AI training model to store for when it warns a future candidate with a similar profile and shared optimism.

While I won't let these application cycles define me (or at least I'll try my best), is it shameful to say I'm saddened?
 
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