Reality Set in

[NontradICUdoc]

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this week, reality set in that I will be in med school this coming august and I will not be working. In addition to putting my family into a huge amount of debt. And it scared the crap out of me.

Anyone else have the initial shock finally wear off?

 

[physicsnerd42]

this week, reality set in that I will be in med school this coming august and I will not be working. In addition to putting my family into a huge amount of debt. And it scared the crap out of me.

Anyone else have the initial shock finally wear off?

When reality set in for me it was the day before the revisit weekend for the school I'm at now and I almost freaked out and withdrew (since I had never really considered doing anything besides a MD/PhD or a PhD in physics and this is a huge commitment). Heck, I even lined up a job teaching for this year. Then I went to the revisit and met some of my future classmates and I got over it and now I'm extremely glad I did. The shock will wear off and the hard work will begin. Just remember that this is what you want to be doing and that lots of other people have come through it just fine. You're not signing your life away, you're just dedicating it to something different. Lots of people with families also make it through med school just fine. You'll do great!

 

[Doctor Bagel]

Yep, I think it happens to all nontrads. It'll pass. Unfortunately it took me about 2 months for it to pass. 😱

 

[menaniac]

Happened to me on my way home from the "accepted student lunch" at UMDNJ. Up until that point, I think I had been fighting so hard to beat the odds that I hadn't really thought about the reality of what was happening. This was no longer a theoretical thing that might happen someday, but med school is a reality, and it is going to be happening to me in just a few months! OMG! Can I handle it? Am I going to flunk out in my first semester? Am I going to have to live in some rat-infested hovel for 4 years, scrounging my meals off the left-over luncheon trays that seem ubiquitous at all schools? Ack! ACK!!!

I fell into quite a funk for a few days, really questioning the wisdom (or stupidity) of what I was about to undertake. In the end, though, I realized that this was the best thing to ever happen to me, and somehow I'll get through it. Hopefully without the rats. Now I'm pretty excited to get the ball rolling. Change is always a little scary, especially when its of the magnitude that going from work to med school will entail. Generally, though, change is a good thing, and its always an opportunity to grow and push your own boundries. So now I say...bring it on! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Posting here is a good way to get some perspective. All it really took for me to re-equilibrize was talking to one of my former professors. He basically laughed, pat me on the head and told me to get over myself, and said that eating hot-dogs and beans for 4 years is a small price to pay to achieve your dreams. That reminded me that 1) this really is my dream, I just can't believe its happening, and 2) sacrifice is a big part of the game. Nothing wrong with that!

You'll get over the freaky part too...then its all excitement from there! Good luck with everything, and keep the faith!

 

[shoe23]

I feel a bit relieved that people share my sentiment but I am still very scared and guilty.

I have heard back from most of the interviewed schools and I am very lucky to have choices of where to go. But right now, I feel very very guilty about putting my husband and my cat ( 🙂 ) through this financial burden. I am obsessing over calculating finances on the EXCEL and Matlab for the past week, trying to figure out what is the best option. I plotted out the nice pretty graphs and have very depressing trend of negative numbers.

I also feel guity about making my husband relocate (OHSU did not accept me 🙁 ), even though he kept assuring that it was totally fine.

 

[viostorm]

For me this got worse until the 1st day of school, then things got better.

I was extremely grumpy up until school started. The fear of loans was the biggest deal for me and that I was leaving a job I liked a lot.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

I feel a bit relieved that people share my sentiment but I am still very scared and guilty.

I have heard back from most of the interviewed schools and I am very lucky to have choices of where to go. But right now, I feel very very guilty about putting my husband and my cat ( 🙂 ) through this financial burden. I am obsessing over calculating finances on the EXCEL and Matlab for the past week, trying to figure out what is the best option. I plotted out the nice pretty graphs and have very depressing trend of negative numbers.

I also feel guity about making my husband relocate (OHSU did not accept me 🙁 ), even though he kept assuring that it was totally fine.

Hey, are we the same person? 🙂 I had to move my husband and my cats because OHSU rejected me, too. My husband also assured me that it would work out. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, too. 🙁

If you think about the numbers too much, it will just wear you down. It is depressing because we'll have the whole negative income thing for a few years. In the long run, it should work out, but it's still really scary.

About the cat guilt -- I feel bad that I can't pay for my cats to get their teeth cleaned anymore. Also, one of my cats just ate some dental floss on Saturday, and I'm already freaking out about how I'll pay for surgery if he needs it. It'll work out, but I hear you on that one.

 

[shoe23]

Hey, are we the same person? 🙂 I had to move my husband and my cats because OHSU rejected me, too. My husband also assured me that it would work out. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, too. 🙁

If you think about the numbers too much, it will just wear you down. It is depressing because we'll have the whole negative income thing for a few years. In the long run, it should work out, but it's still really scary.

About the cat guilt -- I feel bad that I can't pay for my cats to get their teeth cleaned anymore. Also, one of my cats just ate some dental floss on Saturday, and I'm already freaking out about how I'll pay for surgery if he needs it. It'll work out, but I hear you on that one.

🙂 I have a siamese mix (a very TALKATIVE one). I also have a tank of 30 + gubby fish (they just keep breeding....) that I don't know what to do.

I think it is very fortunate that we have a strong family support.. but still, the guilt hasn't gone away yet. I am hoping to turn this negative energy into a drive force when I am studying. If I am paying soooo much money for this, I have to do well right? 🙂

 

[Skelfie]

🙂 I have a siamese mix (a very TALKATIVE one).

Hee hee! I have a pure siamese kitty and she is quite the talker. Actually, she used to be the quiet one, but our other siamese passed away recently 🙂🙂🙂() and so our surviving cat has been SUPER vocal ever since.

Anyway, regarding the topic: I am alternating between disbelief -- I keep thinking that they'll realize that they made a mistake -- and anxiety right now. I'm excited about the program, scared about the debt, and REALLY scared about my impending long distance relationship (my s.o. has his business based here, and it seems unfair to make his workers and their families move to the city my med school's located in).

I feel that I'll be able to handle the academic part since I'm a mega-nerd, but I'm worried that I'll neglect my relationships (s.o. and cat) too much over the next four years. A big part of the reason I'm doing this specific route (aside from an absolute love of medicine and of being a useful person to society) is to be sure that my s.o. and I have a more secure future (i.e., my employment in a relatively stable profession). So, I don't want to have to make too many sacrifices, relationship-wise, in order to achieve his/my dreams. Haha.