Hope this helps someone. Burnout happens in medical school. You're not the only one. It's just our society teaches us to shut up, suck in our feelings, and run head first forward and hope we don't crash and burn.
The third week into my third year clerkship (surgery was my first one... i know... yikes), I was burnt out (call me a wimp, say what you will). I wanted to like surgery, I really did. I loved neuro and msk coming into third year, and given how well I did on usmle, honors in my first 2 years, and 15+ publications and conference presentations, I thought i was on my way to ortho or neurosurg. But then surgery hit me. And I realize if this is all medicine is, I can't do it for my whole life. For the first time in my life, I wanted to quit, to give up. Granted, I didn't have any other clerkship at that point to compare surgery to, so surgery WAS medicine to me. Don;t get me wrong, I LOVE medicine now, can't imagine myself doing anything else. But what my third year clerkship made me realize was that yes I love medicine, but ONLY as a career. I don't like it more than my family, my friends, my art, hiking in Utah, or walking on the beach. Talking to patients and seasoned physicians made me realize nobody EVER regret not have worked harder or spent more time in the OR (cliche, i know), but the regrets I hear about are physicians burning out and not spending enough time with family and exploring their hobbies.
At the end of the day, we gotta do what we love. But we also need to keep our priorities straight. Get a realistic picture of what you're getting yourself into. Do I like surgery? Yes, and i've been fortunate enough that residents and attendings told me my spatial skills would make me a great surgeon (yes, I worked that Da Vinci simulation to perfection). But do I want to live the surgery lifestyle? Not really, but I admire and give my utmost respect to those of you who choose to go into surgery. you surgeons / future surgeons are heroes, and I thank you for the sacrifices you make and the services you provide. The bottom line is, I believe I can be a good physician regardless of which specialty I go into. And I think most of us in medical school are that way too. KNOW what your priorities in life are, and pick your specialty accordingly.
I love medicine, all of it. And at this stage of my life I finally found the reason I love medicine, it's not for the fame, the money, or the respect, it's really for the love of treating those who are most vulnerable and in need.