Rejected a Marriage Invitation

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Kinesio

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So I work full-time and although I try to get some serious MCAT studying in on the weeknights when I come back home from work, I get my best studying done when I can spend whole days in the quietest room of the library on both Saturdays and Sundays.

Freakin' marriage season. I already rejected the invitation of one friend who got married a few weeks ago (not on account of MCAT, I really had to be somewhere else on that day). Now, I just rejected an invitation to another friend who is getting married in about two weeks. The marriages is going to be on a Saturday. I can't seem to risk one of my prime MCAT-studying days. Anyway, he sent me back a reply that basically said I should try to come anyway but he added a few words that indicated sarcasm so I felt slighted. This friend is a mutual friend to the one person whose marriage invitation I rejected from before. So I know there is going to be some talk behind my back.

But man, I can just tell similar situations are going to occur from now until the day I stand before the MCAT beast.
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Screw them...weddings are the most annoying things to attend...who cares about the wedding --> only bride and groom..for everyone else it is a HASSLE!

I completely understand how you feel, i have a friend getting married in Sept and I have been trying to think of good reasons not to attend.

It is such a waste of money and time. Prioritize! MCAT = future as doctor, wedding = doesn't affect your future....

In my opinion, you should be able to do whatever you want to do, if going to this wedding will take time away from precious MCAT hours then don't go. Tell them that you need the time to study b/c you are not ready. Good luck!
 
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That's rough. It's a shame when you have to miss out on important events like this. A lot of non pre-meds don't seem to have an appreciation of how much we put into the MCAT and application process in general; I think they see the test as "just-another-standardized-test" like the SAT and assume it's something that you can do well on without too much exertion.

I'm sure you've tried to convey the seriousness of the MCAT to them, so I don't know what else you could say other than re-stressing the point that it is such an essential part of your future that you can't simply neglect it (I guess it could be considered a "dealbreaker" to some extent). And if these friends of yours are true friends, hopefully they'll come to understand that you're not ignoring them for frivolous reasons.
 
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Thanks Alwaysbehopeful! You are absolutely right! It's my future that is at stake here, not theirs.

The only thing I'm worried about is if this is going to come back to bite me. These are friends that I would like to invite to for my wedding (whenever that will happen). I have already decided that I'm not going to be going to any weddings. Just don't know how to explain the situation to them once the MCAT is all done and over. It's really hard for non-pre-meds to understand how much of a beast this beast is.
 
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If it's not too far away and you have a suit handy, you may as well make a cameo if nothing else. Granted they aren't your best friends, so not tremendously important, but unless that is the weekend before your mcat and its not 1+ hours away, it couldn't hurt to stop by for an hour as an extended study break.
That said, I remember I got my best studying done on the weekends too, so do what's best for you.
 
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bleargh said:
just send them a nice present and they will forgive you
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Yes that is a great way to go! Get them a nice present and write an apology note.

NON-premeds can be harsh. All my friends in college used to get on me for not going out with them b/c I would be studying hard for a biochem exam. They would say, whatever, I studied 2 hours for my poli sci test and still got an A. I would tell them that science classes are not the same as humanities. I have gotten an A in every humanities class I have ever taken but science classes are a whole different story.

I don't know if you are a male or female but being a female weddings don't just take 1-2 hours. You have to buy a dress....workout to look good in it...shoes..makup. hair..,etc. it gets very time consuming :/
 
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Haha! I'm a male so I guess the burden of attending the wedding wouldn't have been as great if I was female.
 
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Kinesio said:
So I work full-time and although I try to get some serious MCAT studying in on the weeknights when I come back home from work, I get my best studying done when I can spend whole days in the quietest room of the library on both Saturdays and Sundays.

Freakin' marriage season. I already rejected the invitation of one friend who got married a few weeks ago (not on account of MCAT, I really had to be somewhere else on that day). Now, I just rejected an invitation to another friend who is getting married in about two weeks. The marriages is going to be on a Saturday. I can't seem to risk one of my prime MCAT-studying days. Anyway, he sent me back a reply that basically said I should try to come anyway but he added a few words that indicated sarcasm so I felt slighted. This friend is a mutual friend to the one person whose marriage invitation I rejected from before. So I know there is going to be some talk behind my back.

But man, I can just tell similar situations are going to occur from now until the day I stand before the MCAT beast.
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the day i took the mcat was the same day i was the maid of honor in my best friends wedding. that means i had to attend the rehearsal dinner, the bridal showers, organize the bachelorette party :cool: and plan all sorts of other wedding-related things for her. it's part of having friends, you make sacrifices for them sometimes. can you really not spare a few hours?
 
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I like the present idea... How can anyone blame you if you buy them a thoughtful gift? Haha

Also, how about just dropping by for an hour or so at the reception or something? Maybe a dance or two? Usually they are in the evening, so hopefully it won't interfere with your studying too much. That way, they really can't complain!
 
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Alwaysbehopeful said:
I don't know if you are a male or female but being a female weddings don't just take 1-2 hours. You have to buy a dress....workout to look good in it...shoes..makup. hair..,etc. it gets very time consuming :/
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um, were you the bride or something? yeah as women, we take time to get ready but it's not as if your whole day should be spent around putting on makeup to go to your friends wedding, especially if you're not even in the wedding party. no one will be paying much attention to anyone besides the bride anyway. besides, weddings usually have open bars. who could possibly want to turn that down?
 
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This is a South Asian wedding so it will start really late and then go into the late hours of the night. Plus, South Asian weddings are known for their huge amounts of food so if I go, it's going to be hard to resist some chicken tandoori and fluffy naan. Then I would probably eat so much that I would feel sick the next day and feel like not studying at all. Plus, South Asian weddings are usually not a one-day affair. I think the second part of the wedding is the next day...which will also start really late and go into the late hours, and also have a lot of sleep-inducing foods.

I'm exaggerating a bit but you know what I mean.
 
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haha I know what you mean by the south Asian weddings, but that might work in your favor. How could they possibly downplay your studying for the MCAT? They're all about education!

Okay, that was a joke..
 
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Kinesio said:
This is a South Asian wedding so it will start really late and then go into the late hours of the night. Plus, South Asian weddings are known for their huge amounts of food so if I go, it's going to be hard to resist some chicken tandoori and fluffy naan. Then I would probably eat so much that I would feel sick the next day and feel like not studying at all. Plus, South Asian weddings are usually not a one-day affair. I think the second part of the wedding is the next day...which will also start really late and go into the late hours, and also have a lot of sleep-inducing foods.

I'm exaggerating a bit but you know what I mean.
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fluffy naan ......for some reason i cant stop laughing.....maybe im stressed....

but the present idea is AWESOME.....and make a pt. of visiting them later!

im missing a wedding too.....she's getting married 4 days befor my mcat...

good luck studying!!!!!:)
 
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What I'm worried about is: A lot of my friends have been helping me out since the term started at school (around three weeks), taking some RA duty for me, in general taking some responsibilities off my plate.

I'm scared to death of doing poorly on the MCAT and having to retake it. I study whenever I can, been blowing off friends/classes to study (people see me in the library all the time), and they're either going to be "haaar, ******!" or "thanks for wasting our time!"
 
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I'm in the same situation as u. I turned down 2 invitations and last sat. was my Junior year roomate's wedding. I felt so bad not attending but if I went, I prob felt guilty for not studying and wouldn't enjoy the wedding.
I explained to her if I do bad on the MCAT, I'd have to wait another year to apply to Med school n can't afford that. she told me that it's only once in a lifetime n she wished that I could make it. I ended up not going n studied at home all dayyy.... :smuggrin:
 
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Whats one day to give up for a friends wedding? Are you really that behind? if that is the case, perhaps postponing the test might be a better alternative.
Anyways, go to the wedding, get some wine, hook-up with a cutie pie and get your jimmy wet. :thumbup:
 
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Dude go to the wedding...really...two nights will make no difference what so ever on your score...I can promise you.
If you treat the MCAT like its some beast your going to hate your life. Treat it like an interesting game show that forces you to think. Honestly, there comes a point during your MCAT prep where every one is pretty much equally prepared, its just about who can think better.
 
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you have 5 MONTHS for Pete's sake. I would hate to be your friend.

sorry if that sounds harsh but omfg 5 months? and you can't give up 2 days?
:eek:
 
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If they're your friends, you should probably go man. 5 months? 2 days 5 months before the MCAT I can guarantee won't matter. You won't remember anything. Come January you'll realize you would've rather been at the wedding, because 2 (or 1?) day wouldn't be useful at all. You don't even have to attend to both days if you're so adamant, just goto the main wedding ceremony at least.

I felt a bit torn going to my friends engagement before some very important exams, but he's my good friend.. I couldn't say no to that. Have to make sacrifices for your close friends sometimes. If you were 2-3 weeks out of your test I'd understand... but srsly lol

Let me make you an offering, if for a couple weeks you quit SDN completely and use that time to study, I'm sure you will have made up the time you spent at the wedding, plus you'd probably get more studying done. SDN or your friends wedding? :)
 
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