I am also sorry about the bad news. It seems like there as been a lot of that going around lately....
Quick and dirty about me: I was rejected in 1999-2000. I was at the Naval Academy and didn't even get an interview at USUHS. Then, in the summer of 2006, I decided to give it one more shot. I took a refresher BIO 101 course at a local community college in the fall of 2006. I'd study an hour or two 3-4 days a night for that biology course. But what made a difference for me was studying MCAT specific material I got from Kaplan. I'd study that stuff for an hour or two M-F and several hours Sat&Sun.
I am active duty military, but I had a pretty easy job that I never took home with me. I am also married and my son was born in October 2006, which made studying harder of course, but to be honest, my wife carried much of the load earlier on - she does not work. Then, in the spring of 2007, I took a Kaplan class. It met two nights a week for 3 hours. I spent a lot of time when not at work / class studying on my own. I probably was putting in 15-20 hours a week studying and taking practice tests (I probably took about 15 full length practice MCATs). I took the MCAT again in May 2007 and my score was 11 points higher than when I took it in 1999.
I dedicated myself to the MCAT. That was all I really did outside of work, family, exercise, etc. Back in 1999, after 3 years of academics at USNA, I took the MCAT without even knowing what was on the test. Seven years later, with the dust firmly encrusted on my academics, I learned how to take the MCAT. I don't know what good that will do me in medical school. It really was like learning how to play a game - studying for the MCAT became fun . . . wow, I'm a nerd.
Anyway, my heart goes out to you. And even though your situation sounds tougher than mine, I guess I am just trying to give you an example of a guy on active duty with a wife and a son that found a way to make it work.
It goes without saying that I wish you the best luck in the world - especially, if you try again!!!