Research mentor with a lot of problems with women

[libraryismyhome]

I found a research mentor to work with. He is a very successful academic surgeon in a certain subspecialty and his group publishes nearly 10 or more clinical research papers per year. Yes some are just cases and chart reviews, but he owns a lot of data and guides students to be successful in research work.

However, I accidentally discovered his personal story by googling his name. I only looked him up on pubmed before meeting him. During his fellowship, he and his ex-girlfriend had a child and he gave up the custody. After this incident, he was dating another woman who is an actress and they were engaged. He lied about his child to her and she found out after someone blackmailed them about his child. And their engagement was broken and he attempted to take her to court to get back the engagement ring. This happened 4 years ago and now he is married.

I am very concerned about this because my previous mentors during undergrad and postbacc were not only renowned researchers but also they had personal values I was able to adopt. It was their help that enabled me to get into medical school and I not only think about becoming a good physician but also a good boy friend/husband in the future who takes responsibility.

Do I need to be concerned? or I must separate professional and personal areas?

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[JP2740]

What the ****.

 

[circulus vitios]

How old are you?

 

[SplenoMegastar]

This makes me think he might be a weirdo, but many are. You don't have to love everything about your mentor, but they need to be able to teach you how to do science well or provide the environment for you to learn how to be a good scientist (they are two separate things and I can explain if needed but I don't think it is at this juncture).

Plenty of famous scientists have had very public marriage drama. I suppose it's up to you to decide if it's worth it, but I would argue that your personal and professional role models will not always be the same people. They do need to treat you with respect, though. It is sometimes the case that people who are jerks in their personal lives are jerks at work. It's not a far leap. Base your decision on how likely you are to get good training in with him, have the support to be productive, not get straight up abused, etc.

 

[evilbooyaa]

1) Are you female? If no (sounds like you're not), then you clearly have nothing to worry about. A female in that situation might have to deal with some more stuff.

I highly doubt he is bringing his personal life into his academic career. Work with him to your benefit, but you don't have to turn into him on a societal level. I think the outlook about working with him limiting you frmo being a good boyfriend/husband seems hyperbolic.

 

[DocVapor]

I found a research mentor to work with. He is a very successful academic surgeon in a certain subspecialty and his group publishes nearly 10 or more clinical research papers per year. Yes some are just cases and chart reviews, but he owns a lot of data and guides students to be successful in research work.

However, I accidentally discovered his personal story by googling his name. I only looked him up on pubmed before meeting him. During his fellowship, he and his ex-girlfriend had a child and he gave up the custody. After this incident, he was dating another woman who is an actress and they were engaged. He lied about his child to her and she found out after someone blackmailed them about his child. And their engagement was broken and he attempted to take her to court to get back the engagement ring. This happened 4 years ago and now he is married.

I am very concerned about this because my previous mentors during undergrad and postbacc were not only renowned researchers but also they had personal values I was able to adopt. It was their help that enabled me to get into medical school and I not only think about becoming a good physician but also a good boy friend/husband in the future who takes responsibility.

Do I need to be concerned? or I must separate professional and personal areas?

If you morph from an all-around nice guy into Super-Douche just because you did some research with a guy for a while you have bigger issues to work on before getting into a serious relationship.

Also, you don't know probably 90% of his story, so jumping to the conclusion that he has lots of women issues is premature at best.

Let him help your career. If it turns out he doesn't hold the same personal values you do, then don't emulate him. Can't get much easier than that.

 

[operaman]

Yeah the story alone is not enough for me. From the story alone, sounds like all he did that was questionable is not telling the fiancé about his child from a past marriage/relationship. Seems like that convo should probably happen prior to a proposal, but who am I to judge -- maybe he had his reasons.

I will say this: I would personally not work with someone I don't respect, and someone who is misogynistic and disrespectful of women and has other similar character flaws would fall in that category. [I don't think the info in the story says enough about this person's character to make that call] Character is far and away the most important thing I look for in mentors and friends and relationships. Too much in research and in medicine hinges on being able to trust the other person. If I couldn't do that, I couldn't work with the person. Period.

 

[FIREitUP]

I found a research mentor to work with. He is a very successful academic surgeon in a certain subspecialty and his group publishes nearly 10 or more clinical research papers per year. Yes some are just cases and chart reviews, but he owns a lot of data and guides students to be successful in research work.

However, I accidentally discovered his personal story by googling his name. I only looked him up on pubmed before meeting him. During his fellowship, he and his ex-girlfriend had a child and he gave up the custody. After this incident, he was dating another woman who is an actress and they were engaged. He lied about his child to her and she found out after someone blackmailed them about his child. And their engagement was broken and he attempted to take her to court to get back the engagement ring. This happened 4 years ago and now he is married.

I am very concerned about this because my previous mentors during undergrad and postbacc were not only renowned researchers but also they had personal values I was able to adopt. It was their help that enabled me to get into medical school and I not only think about becoming a good physician but also a good boy friend/husband in the future who takes responsibility.

Do I need to be concerned? or I must separate professional and personal areas?

this is the most relevant information you have given us. i would talk to people who have worked with him in the past and not rely on internet info on making your decision.

 

[Jabbed]

Based on the information contained in your post and after consulting the Lifetime Movie Network, I've come to the conclusion that you should be very concerned.

When in doubt, remember: men are terrible and will hurt you.

 

[MalibuPreMD]

Conversely, why would you want to spend a significant amount of time with someone that doesn't inspire you? I'm sure your school has other high-powered researchers who will lead you to be productive.

One major flaw in my reasoning is if you are interested in an integrated residency and he is the only researcher in that sub-specialty.

 

[JP2740]

Conversely, why would you want to spend a significant amount of time with someone that doesn't inspire you? I'm sure your school has other high-powered researchers who will lead you to be productive.

One major flaw in my reasoning is if you are interested in an integrated residency and he is the only researcher in that sub-specialty.

What? lol brb quitting medicine because my colleagues might not inspire me.

 

[MalibuPreMD]

What? lol brb quitting medicine because my colleagues might not inspire me.

You miss my point completely. She is choosing a mentor, which a medical student does only a few times during their 4 years. You can't choose your brothers or sisters but you can choose your spouse.

Nice inflammatory response though.

 

[evilbooyaa]

You miss my point completely. She is choosing a mentor, which a medical student does only a few times during their 4 years. You can't choose your brothers or sisters but you can choose your spouse.

Nice inflammatory response though.

Way to assume it's a girl.

From the OP -

It was their help that enabled me to get into medical school and I not only think about becoming a good physician but also a good boy friend/husband in the future who takes responsibility.

Also, your research mentor doesn't have to inspire you. You're there for a goal (publications), he's there for a goal (usually free labor). It's nice if you feel inspired, but it's definitely not necessary. If you're doing research for the lulz, then maybe I could see what you mean.

 

[Guillemot]

Is it possible that you and your mentor are both closet homosexuals? Could it happen that eventually you will become sexually involved with one another and break the hearts of your respective future wives? Think long and hard about the implications of having this man as your mentor. It just might not be worth it.

 

[DermViser]

Way to assume it's a girl.

Look at the avatar, genius.

 

[alpinism]

Is it possible that you and your mentor are both closet homosexuals? Could it happen that eventually you will become sexually involved with one another and break the hearts of your respective future wives? Think long and hard about the implications of having this man as your mentor. It just might not be worth it.

Hahahaha

Damn

I think that was his head that just popped out the closet...

 

[Smurfette]

I don't see how his personal life should interfere with you doing research there, assuming when you met him, you seem to have similar goals and you get along well. First of all, he may be a different person now than he was in the past. Second of all, you don't know what *really* happened. None of this had anything to do with his professional life.

I would think by med school, you have a good sense of your own personal values and goals. This isn't a lifelong (or even full-time) commitment, you are going to do research for a short time while in med school before moving on to residency and other things.

OP is male based on the comment about being a good bf/husband.

 

[DermViser]

What the ****.

More about the holier than thou medical student than the mentor in question, quite honestly.

 

[001100010010011]

Separate the personal and the professional. Frankly, what happens in your research mentor's personal life is none of your business unless the person brings it up with you.

Seriously. It is none of your business. Learn boundaries.

 

[mysdnhandle]

I found a research mentor to work with. He is a very successful academic surgeon in a certain subspecialty and his group publishes nearly 10 or more clinical research papers per year. Yes some are just cases and chart reviews, but he owns a lot of data and guides students to be successful in research work.

However, I accidentally discovered his personal story by googling his name. I only looked him up on pubmed before meeting him. During his fellowship, he and his ex-girlfriend had a child and he gave up the custody. After this incident, he was dating another woman who is an actress and they were engaged. He lied about his child to her and she found out after someone blackmailed them about his child. And their engagement was broken and he attempted to take her to court to get back the engagement ring. This happened 4 years ago and now he is married.

I am very concerned about this because my previous mentors during undergrad and postbacc were not only renowned researchers but also they had personal values I was able to adopt. It was their help that enabled me to get into medical school and I not only think about becoming a good physician but also a good boy friend/husband in the future who takes responsibility.

Do I need to be concerned? or I must separate professional and personal areas?

I found stuff I didn't want to find out about my old PI too and completely different area of misconduct/legal crap. But I didn't think about it when I talked to my PI and never did and it was inconsequential in my whole experience there. Everyone has skeletons in a closet somewhere and some people are unfortunate to have it broadcasted on the internet. There is a lot more to people than what shows up when you google them, both good and bad. If you are really hesitant about it you're obviously free to make a choice based on it but if I was in your shoes I would not let someone's personal past get in the way of my goals. The internet is a recent invention and when this sort of thing used to happen you wouldn't have heard about it.

This is a big deal these days actually and it may be relevant to you too when you have a public reputation as a doctor. Say you get a bad review on Yelp from a patient and it hurts your practice, what do you do? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_to_be_forgotten

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

Look at the avatar, genius.

Yeah I took it to mean that they want a good boyfriend/husband in the future, not that they want to be a good boyfriend/husband.

 

[Southplains]

Yeah I took it to mean that they want a good boyfriend/husband in the future, not that they want to be a good boyfriend/husband.

So they're so impressionable as a med student that having a research mentor with a past history with women will lower they're expectations of future boyfriends? I read it as they are male and will start to fit the mold of those they work under on they're way to becoming an attending.

 

[mysdnhandle]

Its a personal/professional issue not a men/women issue. You would have a professional, not personal relationship with him. His personal life should not concern you.

 

[touchpause13]

Look at the avatar, genius.

That means nothing.
Last time I checked, Kaus is a dude

 

[DermViser]

That means nothing.
Last time I checked, Kaus is a dude

And if you look at Kaus' avatar pic it's pretty obvious that it's a guy who would post that.

 

[Successful BM]

I found a research mentor to work with. He is a very successful academic surgeon in a certain subspecialty and his group publishes nearly 10 or more clinical research papers per year. Yes some are just cases and chart reviews, but he owns a lot of data and guides students to be successful in research work.

However, I accidentally discovered his personal story by googling his name. I only looked him up on pubmed before meeting him. During his fellowship, he and his ex-girlfriend had a child and he gave up the custody. After this incident, he was dating another woman who is an actress and they were engaged. He lied about his child to her and she found out after someone blackmailed them about his child. And their engagement was broken and he attempted to take her to court to get back the engagement ring. This happened 4 years ago and now he is married.

I am very concerned about this because my previous mentors during undergrad and postbacc were not only renowned researchers but also they had personal values I was able to adopt. It was their help that enabled me to get into medical school and I not only think about becoming a good physician but also a good boy friend/husband in the future who takes responsibility.

Do I need to be concerned? or I must separate professional and personal areas?

You're looking for a research mentor AND a father figure? You'll need to search for both independently and/or hold auditions.

 

[jakeislove]

Is this an Ark alias?

Serious question.