Resident Married to Resident

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[VA Hopeful Dr]

Does anyone have any stories/experiences being married to a resident while also in resident? SO and I will plan to do couples match but not sure if we will be in the same speciality or not.

How often do couples who are both in residency get to see each other? Is it significantly better if they work at the same hospital? Or in the same speciality?


Thanks!

I'm a 3rd year FM resident and my wife is a 2nd year IM resident at hospitals 30min apart. We live about 5 minutes from her hospital.

We see each other, if briefly, pretty much every day. This wasn't the case in my intern year, but since most 30 hour calls have been done away with this has gotten better.

That said, it does suck at times. We both have stressful jobs with long hours. However, we also understand the suckage better than non-medical spouses would.

 

[Psychiatrized]

I can think of multiple resident couples (including married couples) that have worked out quite well. It can be tough at times if your schedules get out of sync but it is definitely do-able. I know of several cases of seasoned attendings married to other docs they did residency with. It can work!

 

[colbgw02]

Our first year of marriage was internship at different programs/hospitals. We didn't think about it at the time, mostly because we were so busy and tired, but it's weird to look back and realize how little we saw each other. The strangest was when one of us would work nights. We would go a week or so sleeping in the same bed but never seeing each other. I think it was made easier because we had no "normal" against which to compare it. If we had been married earlier and had become accustomed to seeing each other nightly, sitting down to a prepared meal daily, etc., then it would have made it that much more difficult.

 

[papillon2]

My husband and I are both residents and we work at the same hospital but in different specialties. I think there's a BIG advantage to being in the same hospital. You may not be able to go out together frequently, but there are days during the week that you can get away to have lunch together. Having some time alone is nice, especially if you have children like we do. Good luck!

 

[Punkn]

My husband and I were at the same hospital for intern year and saw each other daily, at least for a little bit. We had some rotations together, and therefore saw each other much more frequently during the day then. Now, we are PGY2s in the same city (different city than intern year), but different hospitals (about 15 minutes from each other). My specialty does not have night float (just some overnight calls), and he has not had any night float rotations yet. So, unless one of us is on call, we see each other in the morning and at some point in the evenings through whenever we go to bed during the week (time spent studying/watching tv/taking care of day to day stuff/gym). We go to the gym together most nights of the week and eat dinner together.

 

[tartesos]

It will work! I've had 2 couples in my residency that pulled it off very well. And in the latter years( Pgy-2) and beyond your schedules will
Be more flexible and you might even be able to squeeze lunch together and more, like one of the couples did.
It helps to be in different training years,( from observational experience) but it's doable!
In the end, all you need is love like the Beatles said!