Retaking failed class, hardships and other things

[one2bDr]

Ok, I've been following this forum since 2010 withtout participating much and mostly just reading. I want to thank all of you who take their time to offer some support, such a Q of Quimica, Lady Doc and many others. I feel like I have to be completely honest and lay it all out there in order to get your most sincere opinion. This will be uncomfortable, but here it goes...

I came to the US in 2008 from Venezuela under political asylum, after having been targeted, threatened with death and untimately sexually asaulted. It was a horrible year for me, as running away from everything I held dear, everything I knew, my friends and family was not easy task, it pretty much continues to be a challenge for reasons I will explain later.

My first year in the US was spent mostly learning the language and going through all the legal process of my asylum, I also dedicated time to seek psychological help and fight my own personal battles with fear and self worthlessness that were consequences of the attack. I have a family rooted on healthcare, as my mom is a retired nurse, my dad a retired obgyn and my sister a maxillofacial surgeon (in Venezuela, not here). This and my love for science, the scientific method, anatomy, and community service are part of the reasons why I have always been passionate about medicine, so I enrolled at the local college in order to start taking a few classes while I got my life together.

Although I came with a bit of money, it was mostly spent in inmmigration paperworkm counseling and therapy the 1st year. Subsequently I worked as a waitress, barista, fast food cashier, retail stores and everything I could do to make ends meet and pay my tuition (at that point I did not qualify for financial aid because my asylym was under review and not final). I took an intensive 6 months course for Paralegal, while working and taking 2 classes at time. Once I was a certified Paralegal, I had incredible luck to find a good paying full time job, and was able to quit my retail and food services jobs.

It was all good for a while, I took more classes, my GPA was 3.8, and I felt that I was finally on my way. However, as the situation in my country worsened, my mother who's been on remission for Thyroid cancer for 8 years, was diagnosed with a pituitary macro adenoma of 5cm diameter, she also has low cardiac frequency, and all the family needed to put money together to be able to afford surgery and everything she needed. Needless to say that it was a stressful time, in which I had to work overtime in order to help her. I didn't sleep for days crying the night away thinking I would not be able to see my mother again. As a result, my grades took a dip, and I finished my first 60 credits with a 3.0 GPA. My mom went through surgery where they mostly drained the adenoma, as it was atached to most of the pituitary gland, the day of the operation I got a call while she was in surgery, where my sister told me they had also found and aneurysm, and that was pretty much one of the scariest days of my life since my assault, but she made it (her surgeon made it).

After getting the 60 credits at the college, I transferred to FIU (last fall), things back in Venezuela worsened and my mom cannot find her thyroid medication, whenever she can find it, it's maked up over 4 times the price, so I've had to work an avg of 60hours a week in order to send her money to help her out. This semester I'm failing physics, last semester I got a D on Calculus 2, but I managed to volunteer 100 hours at at hospital since the fall and to shadow 2 physicians. I'm planning to retake both classes, as the reason I failed was lack of time, and even missing quizzes and tests due to overstaying at work, not because I don't get it. My boss has begun to feel sorry for me (not knowing most of my background) and has arranged to cut my hours a bit and work around my schedule while not ducking my pay.

There are days I feel like I'm drowning and that I'm chasing the impossible...sometimes I feel that there are just some circumstances that keep people from being who they are supossed to be, and maybe I should accept that and become a nurse or something else, but I can't. I have not faltered about my determination and I've always felt competent and that I can do this, I feel like if I have to go to the Caribbean, or Mexico or wherever in order to study medicine, I will have to find a way to do it, because I believe to the very core of my soul that's what I should be, but I also feel like I've been taking a beating for the past 6 years. I'm 33 now and have a 2.9 GPA about to sink more once my failing Physics comes in. My school premed advisory commitee will not even open a file for premed with a GPA lower than 3.3, and I have to keep working full time to make a living, help my mom and bring her here, and save money if I want to attend school. I want to volunteer more, participate in research and do all the things to produce make a nice aplication, but I can only do one extra curricular at a time with the time I have available.

So I guess, to wrap up my long sad story. Should I be so determined and keep pushing through with my lousy stats? would retaking these classes and getting A's help me? I think at best I can end up with a 3.2 GPA at this point with the credits I have left, will there be any school than will take me? is 100 hours of volunteering enough? How should I address my premed committee?..... Or do you just have any honest and realistic advice for me? I welcome anything.

I am very sorry for the length of this post. This is actually the first time I sit to write down about all these things, or for that matter, that I open up about them to anyone outside my family. Thank you all for the help you've given in this forum.

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[Learn2Live]

I'm touched by your story and hope that my advice may come off as helpful to your pursuit of a career in medicine. Though you have valid reasons for your current GPA, you still have to take note that you are competing with many students who are afforded with a more comfortable position than you and have the convenience and luxury to be able to commit full time to their studies. Adcoms may empathize with your situation but ultimately when your pitted against the competing students, the performance of gpa and mcat will still take priority.

I believe you have to reflect on your current situation and find some means of both providing for your mother and pursuing medicine. Your current situation seems to be a problem that will continue on unless you make a current change in your schedule and your priorities. You seem to be a motivated and intelligent person so its not necessarily your competence that is holding you back. It is more that your faced with many obligations and pursuing medicine is a full-time process in itself. I could not help you decide what to do as choosing between providing for your family and pursuing your passion are two equally important goals; but it does seem you may be forced into an ultimatum to choose one over the other.

Perhaps you could hold off on your family obligations somehow and have other family members assume your role. Or perhaps you can find a more manageable means of providing without the stringent time demand. Regardless of what you decide to do, I encourage you to remain persistent and pursue what your heart desires.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Goro]

I'm very sorry to hear of your woes. You truely have my sympathties.

I sugegst that it's time to find a different career. Your GPA is stil competitive for DO proggrms, but it's not for MD schools, but with a downward sprial in your grades, you'd be a risky candidate anywhere.

Second, you've displayed some poor choice making. Could you not have withdrawn from your courses, or taken Incompletes? Why did you try to bull through your coursework when your concerns were elsewhere. At the minumum, you have poor coping skills. What worried me most of all is that while you're in medical school, some new family crisis will explode, and kill your medical career. At some point, you have to be selfish. You ahve relatives back in the old country? If so, can't they take care of your sick family members?

 

[one2bDr]

I have a sister who is now in a position to step up and relieve me of the financials responsibility with my mother. I do however, need to keep employment in order to support myself. My boss has offered to reduce my hours at around 32-35ish per week, and we arranged for to me come in earlier, so that I can leave earlier to have more time to find perhaps a 3rd class to sign up for and to have more time to dedicate to study. I do realize it was poor decision making to continue to attend classes instead of dropping when I was doing poorly, I was concerned because at my age I feel I have no time to waste, and I foolishly thought I could pull through during the stretch. This is actually what made me talk to my boss and come to an arraignment with my sister, I had tried these moves before but at the time it was just not the right time and I was force to stick it out. I decided to retake these 2 classes during the next semester to replace with A's... But it's what I'm afraid of..is it too late? Even if I do 30+ in the MCAT, am I DOA if finish my BS at 3.2? What about post bacc? would that help me save my chance? that be Is there a point where it's irreversible? Like this having two Ds or a D and an F?

 

[one2bDr]

Very thankful for both your responses. You're also helpful, I can't say it enough.