Risky to use racing anecdotes as an analogy on PS?

[bonez318ti]

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I am in the middle of writing the 5th version PS.. and was wondering what your thoughts on of using auto racing anecdotes.

I don't mean street racing (ie: Fast and the Furious), I race at officially sanctioned and insured events.. never on the street.. I used some technical racing jargon and techniques to hopefully imply that i dont do the illicit stuff..

Do you think this is a risky move? Ie. with the hype that F&F stirred up a few years ago, do you think readers will automatically assume that im an irresponsible street racer?

fyi.. as a career changer, I was using an anecdote about rectifying an early turn in with alittle throttle oversteer to set up for a final straight as an analogy for my ability to leverage my past career skills into a career in medicne.. there are some other analogies in there.. but that was the main one

what do you guys think? too risky? too weak of an analogy?

 

[jlee9531]

i wouldnt really call this a risk, id just worry about if they could understand the jargon you are using.

 

[CalBeE]

...and don't let the racing story overshadow your main points in your PS. It's easy to end up writing a lot about something you're passionate about, and it'll be hard to cut out the parts that you like later on when you try to fit it into 5300 characters.

And avoid jargons, or briefly explain them (But then if you're using space to explain these terms, you may as well just not use them)...it'll alienate the readers if they don't know what you're talking about.

 

[superdevil]

actually, its a pretty damn cool analogy. just make sure to follow jlee's advice and keep it simple (ie, don't go into how you need to "tweak your life's gear ratios and use a positrac system to keep your progress straight, while adding aluminum headers and modding your mass-air-flow-indicator to burn richer....blah blah blah..."). remember, you may get lucky and catch a gearhead...but you'll probably get some neurosurgeon who has "geeves" fill his tank and vacuum the caviar out of the carpet of his bentley reading your PS.

much luck, though!

 

[basupran]

Hey, what kind of racing do you compete in? I am pretty big on cars too and I steered clear of it for the PS. Actually, cars are a very large part of my life, but I focused more on mechanics (ie my integration of biomechanics and anthropology). I thought about it, but cars and racing have too much of a negative image associated with them after F&F. I included it in the post-secondary section.

What do you have done to your 318i? Did you have it on campus...I remember a black 318 belonging to someone named Seth...

 

[bonez318ti]

thanks for all of these insights.

I was wary of using the jargon, but I think I used it in well enough context that the definitions were pretty clear. I didnt use anything complex.. just: apex, turn in, and racing line.. which are pretty intuitive (especially if used in context).. i didnt use the throttle oversteer or anything..

it was also good to point out the error of having the analogy overshadow the essay. I started out with the anecdote and then broke down the anecdote into components where i linked the analogy to my life.. so the racing analogies are sprinkled in throughout my essay.. i almost alternate paragraphs between the racing analogies and my life trying to draw the parellels.. although the racing paragraphs tend to be pretty short..
if anyone wants to read it and critique it.. let me know.. :-D

btw.. basupran: i drive a white 318ti (its a hatchback) and i do mainly autocrosses with the NYBMWCCA out at nassau coliseum, but ive been to known to race with other clubs (i usually go to whichever clubs are the most efficient: ie porsche club of NJ at the meadowlands).. ive also been to the pocono international speedway for a driving school (i think they use to hold a winston cup race there)

 

[basupran]

Shoot your PS over...

 

[bjolly]

have someone read over your PS who has no clue about auto racing. They should be able to tell you if it makes sense to the uninitiated & if the analogy works. If you can pull it off, it could be a great PS. It's different enough to stick in their minds, which I think is a lot of what the PS needs to do.

 

[Newquagmire]

even as a high school senior applying to colleges, i was told to never ever use a sports analogy in an essay. i think that as long as you do it carefully and with the advice already given, it should be alright...