Risky to write essay about my 3X egg donation experience?

[thefuzzybuffalo]

Hi,

I'm a non-traditional post-bacc. After I finished having my 2 kids, I decided that I wanted to donate eggs. I had a lot of problems with my own pregnancies that I won't go into on here that led me to really want to do it. It's a reason why I decided to make a career change and go into medicine in the first place (I want to be an OB/GYN).

I know I did egg donation for the right reason. I did it 3X and donated over 40 eggs to 3 different couples respectively. The intended parents requested that I wouldn't be notified if there were (or weren't) any births as a result of my donation. Yes, I was paid for my time to do the donations. And yes there are people that I met through this process (exceptional genes, Ivy league backgrounds, etc) who make a living off this process.

I would love to talk about it during interviews and/or on essays. I went through IVF 3 times, more than many infertile couples go through themselves. But most people that I have talked to, other than my close friends and family, generally have the "YOU DID WHAT?" mindset.

Is it risky? Has anyone else talked about this? Any recommendations?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Goro]

The PS is for answering these questions: "Who am I?" and "Why Medicine"?

I don't think this fits the bill.

Since you were paid, you're literally in the same camp as people who sell their plasma (but obviously you had a lot more trauma).

Hi,

I'm a non-traditional post-bacc. After I finished having my 2 kids, I decided that I wanted to donate eggs. I had a lot of problems with my own pregnancies that I won't go into on here that led me to really want to do it. It's a reason why I decided to make a career change and go into medicine in the first place (I want to be an OB/GYN).

I know I did egg donation for the right reason. I did it 3X and donated over 40 eggs to 3 different couples respectively. The intended parents requested that I wouldn't be notified if there were (or weren't) any births as a result of my donation. Yes, I was paid for my time to do the donations. And yes there are people that I met through this process (exceptional genes, Ivy league backgrounds, etc) who make a living off this process.

I would love to talk about it during interviews and/or on essays. I went through IVF 3 times, more than many infertile couples go through themselves. But most people that I have talked to, other than my close friends and family, generally have the "YOU DID WHAT?" mindset.

Is it risky? Has anyone else talked about this? Any recommendations?

 

[thefuzzybuffalo]

@Goro ...No. This isn't for my personal statement.

This is for an optional essay for TMDSAS. "Write about an experience that is relevant to your application which hasn't been previously discussed."

 

[Goro]

I do not suggest writing about this.

@Goro ...No. This isn't for my personal statement.

This is for an optional essay for TMDSAS. "Write about an experience that is relevant to your application which hasn't been previously discussed."

 

[caffeinemia]

Yea. Medicine is not as liberal as your undergrad or your blue-state society. Highly recommend against it.

 

[thefuzzybuffalo]

Thank you very much for your feedback. I'll write about something else 🙂

 

[Rogert]

Yea. Medicine is not as liberal as your undergrad or your blue-state society. Highly recommend against it.

I feel like I'm missing something here. How would politics play into this?

 

[caffeinemia]

I feel like I'm missing something here. How would politics play into this?

Liberal is not being used in a political context. It simply implies that you do not have leeway to discuss whatever you want. What is considered "appropriate" is not as wide as you would think. However, I guess my use of "blue-state" would mislead you. I guess by that, I mean earnest discussion of personal choices that might be readily accepted in a socially liberal environment.

 

[thefuzzybuffalo]

I am actually very conservative. But that's my point...I don't want to come off as something I'm not. Because most people that do this are in it for the money. I met some extremely attractive, smart, and very fertile women who were paid $10k a pop for their eggs.

Like I said, I was paid (about $3000 after taxes). Egg donation isn't "on demand" like sperm donation is. You give yourselves injections for 3 weeks, go to to doctor every other day during that time, and finally go in for a very invasive surgery at the end of it all (general anesthesia). If you mess up, forget a shot, etc, you can cost the parents around $40k. It's a job. I wouldn't do it for free just because of gas, childcare expenses, missed work, etc.

I wanted to clarify what it is BC it is not like sperm or plasma donation in any other way other than getting paid for it.

I learned a lot about myself, how hormones work, and about female reproductive issues that are not openly talked about, which is why I wanted to write about it.

But my goal is to get into medical school...not get into politics or religion on the issue. I'll write about my experience as a personal trainer. Thanks again

 

[caffeinemia]

Yup. Exactly, why I recommended against it. Very easy to get into areas that you wouldn't want to get into on a first date with your medical school. Everyone wants to date a hot personal trainer.

 

[QofQuimica]

Agree with the others that you can probably come up with a less potentially offensive topic to discuss.

 

[Rogert]

Agree with the others that you can probably come up with a less potentially offensive topic to discuss.

Thanks for clarifying your statement @caffeinemia, but I'm still not understanding something here. How could this possibly be interpreted as offensive? Not trying to disagree with anyone's advice, I'm just confused by people's reactions 😕

 

[QofQuimica]

Thanks for clarifying your statement @caffeinemia, but I'm still not understanding something here. How could this possibly be interpreted as offensive? Not trying to disagree with anyone's advice, I'm just confused by people's reactions 😕

That's why it's a bad topic. YOU don't see anything wrong with it. (Presumably you wouldn't have done it if you did!) Other people think it's amoral or even immoral to sell your gametes for money. The risk of offending even one person greatly outweighs any potential benefit of discussing the issue in a context where people are judging your fitness to enter the medical profession (including your judgment). So save it for your med school ethics class, and write about something else in your essay.

For the record, I find the topic interesting in a "wow that's a gross train wreck" kinda way. I'd actually want to read the essay out of morbid curiosity. But it's certainly not gonna make you out to be a hero like donating bone marrow to a kid with cancer or giving a kidney to a dying relative would. In other words, it doesn't come off as altruistic or particularly admirable. And yes, some people will think less of you for it if you tell them, the same way people make judgments about selling other body parts like plasma as in the post above.

 

[Rogert]

That's why it's a bad topic. YOU don't see anything wrong with it. (Presumably you wouldn't have done it if you did!) Other people think it's amoral or even immoral to sell your gametes for money. The risk of offending even one person greatly outweighs any potential benefit of discussing the issue in a context where people are judging your fitness to enter the medical profession (including your judgment). So save it for your med school ethics class, and write about something else in your essay.

For the record, I find the topic interesting in a "wow that's a gross train wreck" kinda way. I'd actually want to read the essay out of morbid curiosity. But it's certainly not gonna make you out to be a hero like donating bone marrow to a kid with cancer or giving a kidney to a dying relative would. In other words, it doesn't come off as altruistic or particularly admirable. And yes, some people will think less of you for it if you tell them, the same way people make judgments about selling other body parts like plasma as in the post above.

Your post sounds like it was written towards the OP. I'm just some random person observing. 🙂

But you did answer my question mostly, so thank you.

 

[Rogert]

Thinking on your statement a bit more, the following bothers me (I might be getting off topic so stop me if I am):

The risk of offending even one person greatly outweighs any potential benefit of discussing the issue in a context where people are judging your fitness to enter the medical profession (including your judgment).

Following this piece of advice would make it impossible to hold any sort of opinion whatsoever. Someone is always going to disagree with what any particular individual thinks. In the context of interviews/applications, the ACA. Whether you think he ACA is a good thing, bad thing, or something in between, some adcom somewhere is going to think your a ***** for that opinion.

 

[QofQuimica]

Your post sounds like it was written towards the OP. I'm just some random person observing. 🙂

But you did answer my question mostly, so thank you.

Sorry, I thought it was the OP who asked. I'm on my phone, so it's harder to tell. 😳

Makes more sense the question was asked by someone besides the OP. I was going, wow, this girl is....sheltered. I can't believe she did this three times and never got a negative reaction from a single person she told about it! 😛

 

[Rogert]

Sorry, I thought it was the OP who asked. I'm on my phone, so it's harder to tell. 😳

Makes more sense the question was asked by someone besides the OP. I was going, wow, this girl is....sheltered. I can't believe she did this three times and never got a negative reaction from a single person she told about it! 😛

To be fair, I've heard a number of people talk about it and I've never heard of negative reaction before. Hence my confusion.

 

[thefuzzybuffalo]

@QofQuimica....OUCH! But it's okay, I knew I'd get heat for posting about it. Your reaction is a main reason why 99.9% of egg donors remain anonymous.

To me it was all very, very cool.

I made the decision to do it after I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before my daughter. I have 2 kids now and I don't want any more. To me it was more of I'm healthy, everyone in my family has lived to their 90s and beyond, no one has died of anything but natural causes, if someone wants my eggs they can have them. And people did.

 

[Rogert]

@QofQuimica....OUCH! But it's okay, I knew I'd get heat for posting about it. Your reaction is a main reason why 99.9% of egg donors remain anonymous.

To me it was all very, very cool.

I made the decision to do it after I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before my daughter. I have 2 kids now and I don't want any more. To me it was more of I'm healthy, everyone in my family has lived to their 90s and beyond, no one has died of anything but natural causes, if someone wants my eggs they can have them. And people did.

Q may not think you're a hero, but from my perspective, you gave someone one a child they might not otherwise have had. Nothing but positivity from my direction. 🙂

 

[QofQuimica]

Thinking on your statement a bit more, the following bothers me (I might be getting off topic so stop me if I am):


Following this piece of advice would make it impossible to hold any sort of opinion whatsoever. Someone is always going to disagree with what any particular individual thinks. In the context of interviews/applications, the ACA. Whether you think he ACA is a good thing, bad thing, or something in between, some adcom somewhere is going to think your a ***** for that opinion.

The difference is that this question is something political as opposed to ethical. Most docs in academia (the type reading your essays and interviewing you) would accept the basic idea that all people should have access to health care. It's the how that's at question, not the whether. Most docs also recognize that there are reasonable arguments to be made on both sides of this issue, even if they disagree. The same cannot be said of those who think what the OP did was immoral.

 

[QofQuimica]

@QofQuimica....OUCH! But it's okay, I knew I'd get heat for posting about it. Your reaction is a main reason why 99.9% of egg donors remain anonymous.

To me it was all very, very cool.

I made the decision to do it after I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before my daughter. I have 2 kids now and I don't want any more. To me it was more of I'm healthy, everyone in my family has lived to their 90s and beyond, no one has died of anything but natural causes, if someone wants my eggs they can have them. And people did.

You don't have anything to defend, to me or to anyone else. Egg donation is legal, and you are within your right to do it, for whatever reason you choose. But "remaining anonymous" is indeed the wiser choice here. Which I think you knew on some level, or you wouldn't have come here to ask.

 

[thefuzzybuffalo]

You don't have anything to defend, to me or to anyone else. Egg donation is legal, and you are within your right to do it, for whatever reason you choose. But "remaining anonymous" is indeed the wiser choice here. Which I think you knew on some level, or you wouldn't have come here to ask.

@QofQuimica thank, you I will. Just out of curiosity, you don't happen to be a part of an admissions committee in Florida, do you? Just wondering because there are several Florida schools that I'm applying to (I used to be a resident and would love to go back) and now I'm worried you might be able to pick me out... Can we delete threads??! Just kidding. But really, thank you for honest feedback. I have a background in writing so I usually like to go for the "interesting" approach when I write essays, but I realize egg donation might be a bit much.

 

[caffeinemia]

As someone who advises people on personal statements for compensation, let me just say that it's a tough audience and topic selection is a nuanced art. I don't think we should get off topic and discuss the morality of the situation. That is beside the point. You asked for advice on whether to use that topic or not and a number of people who have lots of experience with personal statements have advised against it. I think you were very receptive to the advice, so I agree with you and move we conclude this thread.

 

[Goro]

Teaching moment: Admissions Deans do read SDN....and so do Adcom members. I have to be careful here because I don't want my wily old Admissions dean to recognize me.

@QofQuimica thank, you I will. Just out of curiosity, you don't happen to be a part of an admissions committee in Florida, do you? Just wondering because there are several Florida schools that I'm applying to (I used to be a resident and would love to go back) and now I'm worried you might be able to pick me out... Can we delete threads??! Just kidding. But really, thank you for honest feedback. I have a background in writing so I usually like to go for the "interesting" approach when I write essays, but I realize egg donation might be a bit much.

 

[dorothyntoto]

Sometimes it can be a benefit... but mostly it's bad if they figure out who you are on here...