Roommate got me in trouble for drinking

[Humerus84]

Hey guys so I'm new here so I should probably start out with a few stats. I'm a 19 year-old sophomore in college with a 3.9 GPA, I'm an EMT, I'm currently holding two additional jobs and I play the trumpet extracurricularly in the Jazz program. I've wanted to be a surgeon since I was 10 and I've worked really hard to get to where I am today.

Here's my problem. This weekend was homecoming at my school. I was working late at one of my jobs and came back to my dorm to find my roommate and about 5 of his friends underage drinking in the room without my knowledge or permission. I have told my roommate repeatedly not to drink in our room for the exact nightmare scenario I'm about to explain. I'm not claiming to be a saint, I drink from time to time, but I've made it clear to him that I didn't want this happening in our room because at our university, from what I've heard, both roommates usually get in trouble if alcohol is found in the room. So I pulled him aside and told him to go somewhere else and get it out of my room and he told me to go do things to myself and not be such a __. I didn't want to report him and his friends and definitely get everyone in trouble, so I went into our suitemates room and hung out there rather than being a part of it.

Next thing I know, I'm going to the bathroom in the bathroom between our rooms and I hear my room getting busted by some RAs. They didn't search the room and only confiscated the one bottle of liquor that was out in plain sight. They asked where I was and his friends said I was in the bathroom and the RAs came and collected my ID. So I wasn't in the room, wasn't drinking and still most likely will be written up for it. I'm lucky no cops were involved, but I'm still flipping out. The first step in this process usually involves meeting with the head of residence life to talk about what happened and then a conduct file is created that follows the student until I graduate. My roommate realizes that he messed up BAD and has thankfully agreed to take full responsibility for the incident and will tell the residence life guy exactly what happened. Also, thankfully, his friends are also going to go to bat for me. I'm not saying that I handled the situation perfectly or that it is entirely their fault (I potentially could have reported them and/or gotten them out if I tried hard enough), I'm just wondering what I should do know.
How do you guys think I should handle this situation? When I'm talking to the head of residence life, should I put it all on my roommate or should I own up to the fact that I let it go on even though it was against my will (I'm guessing the latter but I'm curious to see your responses). Do you guys think that I'll get in trouble for this especially given the fact that I've got so many people backing me up here? And if I do end up getting in trouble, do you think one alcohol violation in my conduct file is going to keep me out of med school?

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[Chelsea FC]

I think you should (man up/woman up) a little .. You're in college, this is the time you learn to make your own decisions and set the stage of what type of person you want to be.. Talk to the resident head and very polity explain the situation and ask how can you be written up for something you weren't even in the room to participate in. Also don't throw your roommate under the bus with any malice just be honest and tell the truth at the end of the day thats all you can do... At the end of the year when this is all blown over you can sit in a bar and tell this story over a few IPAs

 

[Necroid]

Throw them under the bus. They threw you under the bus when he went against your wishes to comply to the regulations. Screw them. You need to focus on your career.

 

[Chelsea FC]

^^^ This behavior from my observation will you get ostracized from the boys club which is the medical profession. Tell the truth, clear your name then (man up/woman up) to your roommate and tell them they need to stop or find new roommates if you can .. But throwing people under the bus isnt the way to go.

 

[TheZaLord]

You don't need to do anything other than explain what happened.
You came back, you asked them to leave, they wouldn't, (if they ask why you asked them to leave, you don't need to go into the long explanation, just say you weren't comfortable with it) so you went to your suite mate's to do whatever. Nothing more is required.

I was a RA, you can only retrieve that which was out in plain sight, any more is a privacy violation...if more needs to be searched that's campus police's job and their procedures.
Also, I never asked why an uninvolved roommate didn't report something- obviously you didn't want to get anyone in trouble. You did your job and stayed out of it, RA did theirs and reported it.

I doubt you'll get an IA for it, especially if you, roomies, and suite mate say you weren't involved. You really don't need to add any information ("I.e. He does this all the time, there's more liquor here, etc") THAT would be throwing under the bus.

 

[LizzyM]

I have seen applications from students in this exact scenario as well as one unfortunate applicant whose university-owned apartment was raided and she was written up despite being abroad at the time! Having this kind of IA did not hurt them at my institution.

That said, it might be time to find a new roommate.

 

[Moose A Moose]

Jesus. Calm down. Tell them what happened and you'll be fine.

 

[xffan624]

I have seen applications from students in this exact scenario as well as one unfortunate applicant whose university-owned apartment was raided and she was written up despite being abroad at the time! Having this kind of IA did not hurt them at my institution.

That said, it might be time to find a new roommate.

That's absurd! One more good reason to not live on campus.

 

[Psai]

I did not participate. They started drinking without my knowledge. I asked them to leave when I came back. I was not in the room when they were caught.

The end.

No need to embellish or add extra details that don't matter or talk about your roommate. You're there because you're innocent.

 

[704]

Sound like all you need to do is tell them exactly what happened. You asked them to leave and they did not. What were you supposed to do, physically remove them? At least he's not one of those people that will blame it on you and then have his friends vouch for his lies. Hope it ends in a good outcome.

 

[philosonista]

Don't expect any rationality from Student Conduct. Do expect ADCOM's to laugh this off when you provide a brief explanation in your AMCAS.

 

[Ismet]

Don't expect any rationality from Student Conduct. Do expect ADCOM's to laugh this off when you provide a brief explanation in your AMCAS.

This. Even if you do get an IA for this, we'd shrug it off after a brief explanation in AMCAS. It happens quite often actually.

 

[Goro]

This event is very common. Philo is correct.

Don't expect any rationality from Student Conduct. Do expect ADCOM's to laugh this off when you provide a brief explanation in your AMCAS.

 

[IlDestriero]

Step 1, move off campus.
Step 2, party like a rockstar.

 

[Meeehai]

Throw them under the bus. They threw you under the bus when he went against your wishes to comply to the regulations. Screw them. You need to focus on your career.

Snitches get stitches.

 

[Petrichor1]

I think you should (man up/woman up) a little .. You're in college, this is the time you learn to make your own decisions and set the stage of what type of person you want to be.. Talk to the resident head and very polity explain the situation and ask how can you be written up for something you weren't even in the room to participate in. Also don't throw your roommate under the bus with any malice just be honest and tell the truth at the end of the day thats all you can do... At the end of the year when this is all blown over you can sit in a bar and tell this story over a few IPAs

I don't care about throwing rooomate under the bus for this...he's a flipping ***. He not only decided he was going to ruin his own life but also his roomate's. OP politely approach the head. I hope that you were able to meet with some RA at that moment and show you weren't intoxicated. You need to drill this in their head and even go as far as asking for a new room and moving out. This incident may happen again if this is your roomate's habit.

 

[Petrichor1]

Snitches get stitches.

I'm sorry but who are you again? If OP had gone straight and reported this, that roommate would not have had the audacity to even touch OP's image. This whole "snitches get stitches" is **** business. It only allows one to be harassed constantly while knowing what effing laws are in place. Yes, going to supervisor and saying stuff all the time behind roommate is stupid and disgusting but if you have talked with the roommate and they still don't comply with something you think is a problem and can also put you in peril...take the action and move-out to avoid further confrontation with a stupid person. I mean with the cost of tuition you pay to be on-campus and have this happen is ridiculous and unacceptable.

 

[GreenDuck12]

Tell the head of residence life what happened, nothing more, nothing less. Don't be dramatic with them. They deal with this (literally) every day. If you get an infraction, it won't keep you out of med school. If you make it a habit, it might display poor character as opposed to a simple mistake (so don't do it again). I was an RA in college and many of the students that I wrote up for an infraction are very happily in their third and fourth year of medical school. One infraction, not for underage consumption is not a big deal. Many infractions for underage consumption, different story. Keep your head up and good luck with residence life.

Hey guys so I'm new here so I should probably start out with a few stats. I'm a 19 year-old sophomore in college with a 3.9 GPA, I'm an EMT, I'm currently holding two additional jobs and I play the trumpet extracurricularly in the Jazz program. I've wanted to be a surgeon since I was 10 and I've worked really hard to get to where I am today.

Here's my problem. This weekend was homecoming at my school. I was working late at one of my jobs and came back to my dorm to find my roommate and about 5 of his friends underage drinking in the room without my knowledge or permission. I have told my roommate repeatedly not to drink in our room for the exact nightmare scenario I'm about to explain. I'm not claiming to be a saint, I drink from time to time, but I've made it clear to him that I didn't want this happening in our room because at our university, from what I've heard, both roommates usually get in trouble if alcohol is found in the room. So I pulled him aside and told him to go somewhere else and get it out of my room and he told me to go do things to myself and not be such a __. I didn't want to report him and his friends and definitely get everyone in trouble, so I went into our suitemates room and hung out there rather than being a part of it.

Next thing I know, I'm going to the bathroom in the bathroom between our rooms and I hear my room getting busted by some RAs. They didn't search the room and only confiscated the one bottle of liquor that was out in plain sight. They asked where I was and his friends said I was in the bathroom and the RAs came and collected my ID. So I wasn't in the room, wasn't drinking and still most likely will be written up for it. I'm lucky no cops were involved, but I'm still flipping out. The first step in this process usually involves meeting with the head of residence life to talk about what happened and then a conduct file is created that follows the student until I graduate. My roommate realizes that he messed up BAD and has thankfully agreed to take full responsibility for the incident and will tell the residence life guy exactly what happened. Also, thankfully, his friends are also going to go to bat for me. I'm not saying that I handled the situation perfectly or that it is entirely their fault (I potentially could have reported them and/or gotten them out if I tried hard enough), I'm just wondering what I should do know.
How do you guys think I should handle this situation? When I'm talking to the head of residence life, should I put it all on my roommate or should I own up to the fact that I let it go on even though it was against my will (I'm guessing the latter but I'm curious to see your responses). Do you guys think that I'll get in trouble for this especially given the fact that I've got so many people backing me up here? And if I do end up getting in trouble, do you think one alcohol violation in my conduct file is going to keep me out of med school?

 

[MyNameWasUsed]

I'm sorry but who are you again? If OP had gone straight and reported this, that roommate would not have had the audacity to even touch OP's image. This whole "snitches get stitches" is **** business. It only allows one to be harassed constantly while knowing what effing laws are in place. Yes, going to supervisor and saying stuff all the time behind roommate is stupid and disgusting but if you have talked with the roommate and they still don't comply with something you think is a problem and can also put you in peril...take the action and move-out to avoid further confrontation with a stupid person. I mean with the cost of tuition you pay to be on-campus and have this happen is ridiculous and unacceptable.

I think he made that comment as a joke lol...you know... sarcasm and such

 

[Seth Joo]

As long as your drinking incident did not have any law enforcement involved, I would not worry about it, some friendly advice, get rid of your roommate.

 

[Noomm]

Don't expect any rationality from Student Conduct. Do expect ADCOM's to laugh this off when you provide a brief explanation in your AMCAS.

Sounds like a good way to cover up a legitimate IA.

 

[Ismet]

Sounds like a good way to cover up a legitimate IA.

You sign an agreement upon submission of AMCAS that everything in the application is truthful. You're digging your own grave if your description of an IA is discrepant with what actually happened and it is somehow found out. People have even been expelled from medical school after matriculation (even after a couple years of school) because it was discovered that they lied about something important on their app.

One alcohol-related IA doesn't kill your chances. It's better to fess up and show how you grew from it rather than potentially risk your career as a physician by lying about something relatively insignificant.

 

[Meeehai]

I'm sorry but who are you again? If OP had gone straight and reported this, that roommate would not have had the audacity to even touch OP's image. This whole "snitches get stitches" is **** business. It only allows one to be harassed constantly while knowing what effing laws are in place. Yes, going to supervisor and saying stuff all the time behind roommate is stupid and disgusting but if you have talked with the roommate and they still don't comply with something you think is a problem and can also put you in peril...take the action and move-out to avoid further confrontation with a stupid person. I mean with the cost of tuition you pay to be on-campus and have this happen is ridiculous and unacceptable.

lmao

It was a joke buddy, take the stick out of your butt.

 

[NotYou20]

I don't care about throwing rooomate under the bus for this...he's a flipping ***. He not only decided he was going to ruin his own life but also his roomate's. OP politely approach the head. I hope that you were able to meet with some RA at that moment and show you weren't intoxicated. You need to drill this in their head and even go as far as asking for a new room and moving out. This incident may happen again if this is your roomate's habit.

Lol how exactly was op or his roommate's life ruined?

 

[XxThaDoggxX]

Step 1, move off campus.
Step 2, party like a rockstar.

^^^^^^^^

 

[Petrichor1]

lmao

It was a joke buddy, take the stick out of your butt.

lol sometimes sarcasm in this world is hard to pick..

Lol how exactly was op or his roommate's life ruined?

It seems that a lot of sdn folks consider alcohol to be trivial..but for me it isn't. Personally, I really don't like people that drink underage while you're sharing one room and you ask them nicely to not do so. Everyone has their annoyance with something, this is mine.

 

[goldy490]

Lol do you go to Emory?

Also this is no big deal my friend got into Columbia with 2 write ups for drinking as a freshman

 

[Dral]

So wait, you were in your suitemate's room, then went to the bathroom, then you heard your room getting busted?

Ok, if that was me, and I wasn't drinking, and I was pre-emptively in my suitemate's room to avoid getting busted, I would have gotten out of the bathroom, even if it was mid-somthing, and gone back to my suitemate's room asap...distance myself from the issue as much as possible. Why didn't you do that? Or were you actually in your room but just happened to be in the bathroom at the time?

Either way, don't sweat it, it's going to be ok. Something like this doesn't seem nearly as bad as an IA for cheating/dishonesty/integrity issues.

 

[Mr. Beefy Lion]

I don't care about throwing rooomate under the bus for this...he's a flipping ***. He not only decided he was going to ruin his own life but also his roomate's. OP politely approach the head. I hope that you were able to meet with some RA at that moment and show you weren't intoxicated. You need to drill this in their head and even go as far as asking for a new room and moving out. This incident may happen again if this is your roomate's habit.

How are either of their lives ruined? Settle down buddy.

 

[NotYou20]

lol sometimes sarcasm in this world is hard to pick..

It seems that a lot of sdn folks consider alcohol to be trivial..but for me it isn't. Personally, I really don't like people that drink underage while you're sharing one room and you ask them nicely to not do so. Everyone has their annoyance with something, this is mine.

That's all well and good but no one's life has been ruined, despite your strong feelings towards alcohol. Op will be absolutely fine and if his roommate applied to medical school he would also be fine. Beyond that no one is any other industry would give a crap either.

 

[Petrichor1]

How are either of their lives ruined? Settle down buddy.

to each their own. It will stress the OP in the short-coming not long term of course. But like I just get fed up at instances when the innocent also gets into trouble. That's my issue. Like that shouldn't happen especially when you like have to share a room when you're living on-campus and it's pretty random even though you decide who to room with (you can't tell who has what types of habits) unless you're rich/upper-classman that can move-out/get lucky with a single. I guess my post seemed too serious towards alcohol but my real point was this.

 

[rotarman]

Can't see how they can pin something on you since you weren't involved, but if it calms your nerves: I had a minor consumption charge and accompanying arrest at 18 and currently an MS1. It's not a death sentence.

 

[deleted393595]

^^^ This behavior from my observation will you get ostracized from the boys club which is the medical profession. Tell the truth, clear your name then (man up/woman up) to your roommate and tell them they need to stop or find new roommates if you can .. But throwing people under the bus isnt the way to go.

You're a Pre-Med. How can you say that with any certainty?

 

[Chelsea FC]

You're a Pre-Med. How can you say that with any certainty?

Im sorry If I seem to be overstating my position I am just talking from my observation shadowing volunteering and the Doctors who are in my family whom I communicate with often . And the consensus I get from them and observe for myself that its mostly a boys club so knowing how to work with people and not step unnecessarily on toes is a big benefit in your career.. I hope I didnt come off as trying to overstate my understanding of the medical field

 

[rocklobstr]

What kind of place has a policy that both roommates get in trouble for what one does? Sorry not sorry if my roommate was drinking without my knowledge or consent while I was away?

But for your actual situation, if you knew and didn't do anything, then they can definitely charge you with "knowing and assisting" or whatever they want to call it. I don't think it will seriously hinder your chances of acceptance anywhere.
You could definitely be stuck with the write-up depending on how your residence life is. Some are more understanding of others and understand that everything isn't black and white, others only see black and white.

Whatever you do, tell the truth. If you were there, then you can't reasonably deny knowing what they were doing in your room. It would be different if they were already getting busted as you just walked into the door from work. I had a similar situation where I told someone to stop doing something, they didn't, and then I got written up along with them. I learned from that, and it definitely sucks to have to report someone, but you gotta do what you gotta do. If a similar situation arises for me, I'd give them a stern warning and report if I had to.

 

[Ismet]

What kind of place has a policy that both roommates get in trouble for what one does? Sorry not sorry if my roommate was drinking without my knowledge or consent while I was away?

But for your actual situation, if you knew and didn't do anything, then they can definitely charge you with "knowing and assisting" or whatever they want to call it. I don't think it will seriously hinder your chances of acceptance anywhere.
You could definitely be stuck with the write-up depending on how you residence life is. Some are more understanding of others and understand that everything isn't black and white, others only see black and white.

Whatever you do, tell the truth. If you were there, then you can't reasonably deny knowing what they were doing in your room. It would be different if they were already getting busted as you just walked into the door from work. I had a similar situation where I told someone to stop doing something, they didn't, and then I got written up along with them. I learned from that, and it definitely sucks to have to report someone, but you gotta do what you gotta do. If a similar situation arises for me, I'd give them a stern warning and report if I had to.

My undergrad had the policy that anyone in the room got written up, regardless of if they were drinking or consented to the alcohol being there. By being in the bathroom, OP was in the room. If your roommate has alcohol and you want to eliminate any chance of getting in trouble, you get the heck out of that room and crash somewhere else for the night.

 

[rocklobstr]

My undergrad had the policy that anyone in the room got written up, regardless of if they were drinking or consented to the alcohol being there. By being in the bathroom, OP was in the room. If your roommate has alcohol and you want to eliminate any chance of getting in trouble, you get the heck out of that room and crash somewhere else for the night.

That part makes sense. I was making fun of the policy that gets you in trouble even if you're away and have no idea. If your in the room, then fair game. I never said they shouldn't have got written up for the situation they described.

 

[Crayola227]

Tell the truth, stick to your guns, get a lawyer if they're going to try to stick with you any kind of record that can make it to a medical school.

Be nice but definitely make it clear you are innocent, you intend to apply for medical school, and you want to be clear what sort of record they intend to create, and what you can do to make sure you never have to deal with this issue again. Ask for another roommate if you have to if the school is involved in doing that. That smacks of you not planning on being complicit with this in the future, and suggests you were not complicit to begin with.

Sure you can get still get into med school with this on your record, you can with an F too, that doesnt mean you dont do everything in your power to avoid things that might hurt your app. so why roll over and take this and let it hurt your chances if you don't deserve it?