Roommate housing situation (male/female same house?)

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str8flexed

str8flexed

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I'll be a first year med student next year. Went down to the city to look at apartments/houses to live in, found a lovely house at a good price. Only caveat was that there were 4 bedrooms, and one tenant was going to remain living there, and she's a girl who has lived there a couple years. I'm a guy.

So if I live there, I was hoping that out of the remaining 2 rooms, there would be at least another male first year medical student. Well, the landlord hopes to find one too, since she likes those (she prefers studious/quieter types that don't disturb the neighbors). So I say great, without much thought about the remaining tenants but hoping they will be male/1st year.

Anyway, I get an e-mail from the landlord today that says she found two more potential tenants. They are both female. One is a nursing student, and another is working in a office of public policy in the city.

Anyway, I am still offered the lease, I have it in front of me and just have to sign it and turn it in. However, I am not sure whether I should live with 3 other girls. I don't have any outstanding problems with it, but I mean I was hoping there would be a first year med student and maybe at least another guy there. What do you think?

BTW, this house is a very good deal, and a very nice place, and this is the only "quirk" I see. Out of the 5-6 places I visited, this is the best place by far and the best value. I'm just not thrilled about the women, but, I suppose I will be studying so much it's not a big deal right? Just treat it like a room to sleep/rest in?
 
Keep looking until you find what you are looking for. It doesn't sound like this is it. If it's the best you can afford, then there you are. However, I personally would pay a little extra to find the living situation that fits my needs within my means.
 
If you've never lived in a co-ed house with shared bathrooms, you're in for an education...

You can put up with a bad view, a small closet and no yard. But if you're not going to be happy with the people you're with, the move's a bad idea.

If you're uncomfortable living with women, don't. If you have your heart set on living with other med students (note: personally, I'd sooner poke a needle in my eye), look around. Intentionally moving in to a house with folks that you don't like the idea of living with is a recipe for disaster.
 
notdeadyet said:
If you're uncomfortable living with women, don't. If you have your heart set on living with other med students (note: personally, I'd sooner poke a needle in my eye), look around. Intentionally moving in to a house with folks that you don't like the idea of living with is a recipe for disaster.
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Why do you NOT prefer living with other medical students? I really have no strong preferences, but was just wondering, since many have suggested trying to find another 1st year so you can have similar schedules and perhaps help each other out. I do not feel uncomfortable around women, but was just saying.
 
Sounds like good odds to me.
 
PS did you happen to ask for pics/myspace profiles?
 
Wow, that didn't take long for the first "this thread is useless without pics" post. Well played.
 
str8flexed said:
Why do you NOT prefer living with other medical students? I really have no strong preferences, but was just wondering, since many have suggested trying to find another 1st year so you can have similar schedules and perhaps help each other out.
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After spending most of my waking hours around other medical students, it'd be nice to come home to folks with other interests, hobbies, lives. Plenty of study buddies at school, I don't think you'll need to literally have them living under the same roof. Just a personal preference.
 
notdeadyet said:
After spending most of my waking hours around other medical students, it'd be nice to come home to folks with other interests, hobbies, lives. Plenty of study buddies at school, I don't think you'll need to literally have them living under the same roof. Just a personal preference.
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Thanks, that's a good opinion to hear!
 
So have their cycle aligned yet?

Where's the freedom, if you can't walk around your own place in your boxers, ripped up 2 week old clothing, and with a lack of general hygeine? The last two i might be able to give up.

And since this will always happen, two of then will turn on one of the girls. How will that go?

Don't hook up with any of them, but if they have hot friends, could be worth it.
 
dude, living with girls isn't all that bad...things to consider:

1. the specific girls...if they're the catty/bitchy type, forget that
2. bathroom situation...if you'll have your own bathroom, or at least 2 bathrooms for the 4 of you...girls tend to be such slobs in the bathroom, no matter what they tell you, and also they'll dominate any space there that they can and use the excuse "we just have more stuff"
3. boyfriends...if the girls have boyfriends then you might wanna look elsewhere...said boyfriends will likely cause problems for you in one of two ways...they will get jeolous...or they will try to be your bestest buddy ever

...but that said living with girls does have some perks...while they tend to be slobs in the bathroom, they're usually cleaner than guys everywhere else...so you might get someone to cook/clean for you out of the deal
 
Husky85 said:
dude, living with girls isn't all that bad...things to consider:

1. the specific girls...if they're the catty/bitchy type, forget that
2. bathroom situation...if you'll have your own bathroom, or at least 2 bathrooms for the 4 of you...girls tend to be such slobs in the bathroom, no matter what they tell you, and also they'll dominate any space there that they can and use the excuse "we just have more stuff"
3. boyfriends...if the girls have boyfriends then you might wanna look elsewhere...said boyfriends will likely cause problems for you in one of two ways...they will get jeolous...or they will try to be your bestest buddy ever

...but that said living with girls does have some perks...while they tend to be slobs in the bathroom, they're usually cleaner than guys everywhere else...so you might get someone to cook/clean for you out of the deal
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No offense against women in general, but I would definitely suggest you flee from this situation. I've been in your situation twice, and have some experience. To address point 1 you never really know if they are that type until you've spent an extended amount of time with them, and you will definitely find out if you live with them. And I hate to say it all it takes is for 1 of them to be that way, and they can corrupt the other 2 so that you become hoplessly outnumbered. Thats all I will say about that. Don't have any comment about point 2 except hopefully you would have your own bathroom. And as far as boyfriends, thats a concern, but also you should worry about your own personal love life as well being affected. Finally the perks of living with women who may cook for you is usually nonexistant. If you do manage to get them to cook for you, as I did, they'll probably demand that you pay for the majority of the groceries or something outrageous like that. Anyway goodluck with whatever living arrangement you make.
 
What if there will be 2 guys and 2 girls? The two girls are not certain yet, hopefully one can drop out and I can place a listing online and find another 1st year med student.
 
dude, it really comes down to what you want...there are definite downsides to living with girls...i'm presonally very used to it...but in a different context...i have 2 sisters and i've only lived with girls that i was already friends with...

living with girls you don't already know is kinda dangerous territory as previous posters said...but ultimately the decision is yours and it is possible that things will work out well
 
Husky85 said:
dude, living with girls isn't all that bad...things to consider:

1. the specific girls...if they're the catty/bitchy type, forget that
2. bathroom situation...if you'll have your own bathroom, or at least 2 bathrooms for the 4 of you...girls tend to be such slobs in the bathroom, no matter what they tell you, and also they'll dominate any space there that they can and use the excuse "we just have more stuff"
3. boyfriends...if the girls have boyfriends then you might wanna look elsewhere...said boyfriends will likely cause problems for you in one of two ways...they will get jeolous...or they will try to be your bestest buddy ever

...but that said living with girls does have some perks...while they tend to be slobs in the bathroom, they're usually cleaner than guys everywhere else...so you might get someone to cook/clean for you out of the deal
Click to expand...

Reasons 1 and 2 are why I couldn't ever live with that many females, and I'm female. I could live with one other one, but when you get more than that, there's bound to be some drama, especially since they will eventually get on the same cycle and be PMSing at the same time (unless they are all the the pill, in which case you might only have a few days break where no one is PMSing).

Guys are so less complicated.
 
If you can find a guy, then maybe, because at least you'll have backup. Not saying that all conflicts will breakdown along gender lines, but that is what tends to happen. Like others have said its up to you, my advice is this should be the only condition that you sign the lease, if you are certain another guy will be there. Its still dicy even so but better than living with 3 women.
 
Don't live with a female. Three? Good grief, don't even think about it.

I live with a female business student right now. She's pretty filthy. No matter how much I clean the f****** bathroom and the kitchen, she ruins it in a matter of days.

On top of that, there's other really disturbing stuff. Like sometimes she forgets to flush. On #2's. Totally not joking. Also, when it's that time of the month, she leaves her pads in the trash wide open for all to see. She even bled inside the tub, I left her a note, and she didn't clean it up. Guess who had to.

There's this fantasy about always having a clean apartment and lots of food being cooked and nice smells and so on and so forth but it's a damn myth, women are just as filthy as men.

Bet that totally killed the "this thread is worthless w/o pics". You don't want me to post pictures. I don't even want to take them. Ever. Period.
 
dude! you can turn that living situation into something out of Charlie's Angels! you would have to be Bosely, though
 
Dr.Phenomena said:
Finally the perks of living with women who may cook for you is usually nonexistant. If you do manage to get them to cook for you, as I did, they'll probably demand that you pay for the majority of the groceries or something outrageous like that.
Click to expand...


Females do not exist for "perks." Nor to cook for you, or clean up after you. This is the 21st century kids. Get used to it.
 
Husky85 said:
dude, living with girls isn't all that bad...things to consider:

1. the specific girls...if they're the catty/bitchy type, forget that
Click to expand...

True. Run away as soon as possible if the above applies. If you don't know the girls, it's better to assume they will be this way as opposed to living with them and THEN finding out. (I'm a girl, by the way)


2. bathroom situation...if you'll have your own bathroom, or at least 2 bathrooms for the 4 of you...girls tend to be such slobs in the bathroom, no matter what they tell you, and also they'll dominate any space there that they can and use the excuse "we just have more stuff"
Click to expand...

Hey, that excuse it's true. We just have more stuff. TONS OF STUFF.

How many hair products does a guy use? I have a brother, and it adds up to one (gel).

How many shampoos do you use? Again, using my brother as an example, one (2 in 1 shampoo). I have a regular shampoo, a conditioner, and others I use for when I am going to blow dry it or straighten it, etc.

How many creams do you use? My brother uses one for his body and face. I have a body lotion, a face cream, a moisturizer, a thicker cream for when my hands get really really dry (which they tend to do).

How many types of brushes/combs do you have?

Do you wear make-up?

Do you wear/have many accessories?

I can go on, but you get my point. We're not lying when we say we just have more stuff.

3. boyfriends...if the girls have boyfriends then you might wanna look elsewhere...said boyfriends will likely cause problems for you in one of two ways...they will get jeolous...or they will try to be your bestest buddy ever
Click to expand...

I don't know about this, since I'm not a guy. However, if my boyfriend started acting stupid because of my male roommate, he probably wouldn't last too long.

...but that said living with girls does have some perks...while they tend to be slobs in the bathroom, they're usually cleaner than guys everywhere else...so you might get someone to cook/clean for you out of the deal
Click to expand...

I feel that most girls I know (me included) are cleaner than most guys. We just clean more often and more in depth, we do our laundry more often (yes, sheets and towels have to be washed, too!), and we cook more often. That anecdote by Eternalrage sounds horrible, but I think that girls was just a bad example and doesn't mean most girls are like that. Most I know and have lived with are certainly not.
 
Yes girls have more stuff, but that isn't an excuse for it to take up more room. Put the endless bottles, creams, tubes of goop, etc. away when you are done using them! Yes, that includes hair driers, straighteners, curlers, or any other hair torture devices that Conair has invented. Just keep all that stuff off the counter/sink/floor and it's a non-issue. And for God's sake, don't leave long hairs in the shower/sink!

And I agree, there is nothing grosser than when a girl doesn't flush.

If girls could have a little decency once in awhile with bathroom etiquette, the extra stuff wouldn't be an issue when it comes to guys living with girls. 😎
 
Husky85 said:
Yes girls have more stuff, but that isn't an excuse for it to take up more room. Put the endless bottles, creams, tubes of goop, etc. away when you are done using them! Yes, that includes hair driers, straighteners, curlers, or any other hair torture devices that Conair has invented. Just keep all that stuff off the counter/sink/floor and it's a non-issue. And for God's sake, don't leave long hairs in the shower/sink!

And I agree, there is nothing grosser than when a girl doesn't flush.

If girls could have a little decency once in awhile with bathroom etiquette, the extra stuff wouldn't be an issue when it comes to guys living with girls. 😎
Click to expand...

That's the thing. We don't want to put them away EVERY TIME we use them because we use them frequently and that's inconvenient and takes too much time.

As for the hairs in the shower/sink..yes it's gross, it should be common sense to collect them each time you brush or take a shower. And for the love of all that is holy, please don't brush your hair anywhere except the bathroom!!! (and this comes from a girl) I hate finding hair on the carpet or the couch, and worst of all, the kitchen.
 
i'm a girl. now, that's out of the way i'd like to say your main prob isn't that you are living with 3 girls but it will be that you are living with 3 other people period. i have 3 siblings (2 boys and a girl) and we've lived together for most of my life (apart from 4 years in college) and fighting/bitching will be inevitable. and most likely all won't want to do the same thing at once so don't count on getting your way w/ the noise, cooking, cleaning, etc. I've also lived with (4 or more girls for the past 2 years) and i'll tell you that it was really no worse than the sibs. the bathroom wasn't such a big deal if you work out times (and 6 of us shared one bathroom at one point) but space and autonomy is an issue...no one likes being told to shut up so you can study or nap and if you do it they'll never forgive you ie next time your tv is audible outside of your door, they'll remind you about when you hushed them. but, that is all livable, you know? just study at the library and buy earplugs b/c honestly some of the best times in my life have been with my 5 best friends and my sibs. now, the boyfriend thing is a biotch man; i never could stand having them infiltrate our house 24-7 w/o paying rent and being noisy as crap and i just felt so rude telling them that their bf had to go so i never did but man does it get annoying when you have not one but multiple bfs (one + per roomie) coming through at all times. you won't want to be the cockblock but it'll get stale really fast.
 
fahcphlebfem said:
Females do not exist for "perks." Nor to cook for you, or clean up after you. This is the 21st century kids. Get used to it.
Click to expand...

Amen! In the 21st century they mostly exist to gripe about the things you don't do for them around the house, the fact that you can't afford to buy them flowers everyday, and to eat all of the ice cream in the freezer.
 
str8flexed said:
I'll be a first year med student next year. Went down to the city to look at apartments/houses to live in, found a lovely house at a good price. Only caveat was that there were 4 bedrooms, and one tenant was going to remain living there, and she's a girl who has lived there a couple years. I'm a guy.

So if I live there, I was hoping that out of the remaining 2 rooms, there would be at least another male first year medical student. Well, the landlord hopes to find one too, since she likes those (she prefers studious/quieter types that don't disturb the neighbors). So I say great, without much thought about the remaining tenants but hoping they will be male/1st year.

Anyway, I get an e-mail from the landlord today that says she found two more potential tenants. They are both female. One is a nursing student, and another is working in a office of public policy in the city.

Anyway, I am still offered the lease, I have it in front of me and just have to sign it and turn it in. However, I am not sure whether I should live with 3 other girls. I don't have any outstanding problems with it, but I mean I was hoping there would be a first year med student and maybe at least another guy there. What do you think?

BTW, this house is a very good deal, and a very nice place, and this is the only "quirk" I see. Out of the 5-6 places I visited, this is the best place by far and the best value. I'm just not thrilled about the women, but, I suppose I will be studying so much it's not a big deal right? Just treat it like a room to sleep/rest in?
Click to expand...

I lived in a city group house (5 bedrooms 3 baths) where I was the lone female and the rest of my house mates were male. I didn't have any problems since I spent most of my time at school studying. I basically slept there and showered but most of my time was spent in studies. My house mates were all in their early and mid 20s and were all quite nice.

My house mates were a nice source of guys to date (their friends not them) and I ended up engaged to one of their buddies. I am still friends with them even though I moved out after my second year of medical school (I moved in with my fiancé). We all played on the city soccer league which is how I found out about the group house in the first place.

If this house is everything that you want, the sex of your house mates won't make any difference. If they were all males, you could have potential problems if one (or more) person is immature. As long as there are ground rules such as keeping the noise down so that you can sleep and study, you shouldn't have any problems that can't be dealt with on an adult-to-adult level.

My ex-house mates are good guys who became like brothers in the three years that I spent in that house. They were law student, woodworker, actor, and musician/bartender. We didn't have any problems that we couldn't solve by conversation. I shared a bathroom with one of the guys and had no problems at any time.

Group house living isn't for everyone but it isn't much different from living in co-ed dorm. Mutual respect and understanding helps make the situation good for everyone involved.
 
Roommates are hit or miss however you categorize it. Gender mixtures, habit mixtures...doesn't really matter. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I have had random roommates turn out to be the best, and I have had a roommate that turned out being slightly more than psychotic once I moved in. We were best friends...and he pointed a gun at me and called me a "n-word loving ****"....so yea. It all just depends. If you don't feel comfortable then don't go for it. Really, since you aren't going to be there much it probably won't be a major concern. If you have your own bathroom, hardly a concern at all.

Boyfriends/girlfriends coming over can be the worst though....especially if they have loud sex. (Not a joke either) It was like a bad movie once with my wall shaking and screaming....they knocked my bob gibson bobble head off my dresser those bastards.
 
I agree with whoever said that living with that many people will be a pain. If they have significant others who are always over, you inevitably have to deal with them always in the kitchen, always in the bathroom, or always having sex. Now multiply that by 3. There are three times as many people who make messes in the house, leave dishes in the sink, leave their stuff all over the common room, etc. There are three times as many people who may or may not have the same hours as you and could get up and make noise too early in the morning or too late at night. Not to mention whether or not the 4 of you will get along.

My opinion would be to try and live someplace with one roommate if possible, 2 if you have to. If you want to have more roommates after your first year, then you can decide to move in with people you already know, and have more of a guarantee that your roommates won't drive you nuts.
 
njbmd said:
I lived in a city group house (5 bedrooms 3 baths) where I was the lone female and the rest of my house mates were male. I didn't have any problems since I spent most of my time at school studying. I basically slept there and showered but most of my time was spent in studies. My house mates were all in their early and mid 20s and were all quite nice.

My house mates were a nice source of guys to date (their friends not them) and I ended up engaged to one of their buddies. I am still friends with them even though I moved out after my second year of medical school (I moved in with my fiancé). We all played on the city soccer league which is how I found out about the group house in the first place.

If this house is everything that you want, the sex of your house mates won't make any difference. If they were all males, you could have potential problems if one (or more) person is immature. As long as there are ground rules such as keeping the noise down so that you can sleep and study, you shouldn't have any problems that can't be dealt with on an adult-to-adult level.

My ex-house mates are good guys who became like brothers in the three years that I spent in that house. They were law student, woodworker, actor, and musician/bartender. We didn't have any problems that we couldn't solve by conversation. I shared a bathroom with one of the guys and had no problems at any time.

Group house living isn't for everyone but it isn't much different from living in co-ed dorm. Mutual respect and understanding helps make the situation good for everyone involved.
Click to expand...

I'd disagree with that. After living with 7 guys in a suite for a summer, I have to say that it's much easier living with a large group of guys than a large group of girls. Our suite did not have any drama, but all of the other girl suites had so much drama. Some people ended up switching rooms with each other to ease the situtation.
 
First of all, to the previous poster, it's not about not allowing someone who WANTS to cook for you to do so, it's about one person being EXPECTED to cook regardless about how they feel about it--based upon gender, cooking skills, etc. It's just not fair.

To the OP, I would avoid living with med students. I've lived with non med students for the last 3 years and it's been the best decision: no med school talk at home, hanging out with my roommate and her non medchool friends, feeling like I could "escape" med school environment when i needed to, not feeling guilty from seeing my roommate studying what i should be studying, not being competative with my roommate, etc. it's can be a busy time and you want home to be a comfortable retreat when you need it.
 
yyd said:
I don't get it: how can one expect a total stranger (okay even a friend) to do all the cooking? You certainly don't think you can MAKE someone cook for you, do you? I just try to imagine myself in the situation and I don't see what's unfair here. If I don't feel like feeding other people every day, I won't: REGARDLESS of whether they expect it or not. It is easy enough to do if your roommate is a stranger. Perhaps what you mean is that with friends-roommates it may be more difficult, like if they hover over your pots and pans every day. Still, I just cannot imagine any busy person (med student or not) in a situation where he/she would be expected to cook. And I still think that charging roommates for groceries is lame.
Click to expand...

I think Bito was referring to the fact that the quote you replied to was from someone who was blantantly being sexist and implying that there's no advantage to living with women unless they will do you favors, like cook for you (since they're women, and should therefore cook for men). And the sentence about making him pay for groceries was also a reference to the fact that this guy clearly thinks women are b*tches and would never do anything nice, like cook, without demanding payment. What that poster is missing is the fact that the only guaranteed advantage to having roommates is paying less rent, and there should be no other EXPECTED advantages.
 
About the cooking situation:

We use to share the cost of the groceries. One of us cook, the rest clean up and do the dishes.
That's fair and square. then it doesn't matter if one person cooks all the time.
 
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