roommate tension!

[sunnex3]

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so...
currently my roommate, who also happens to be my best friend, is also pre-vet and we are taking a lot of the same classes and looking at a lot of the same schools.

because i'm such a competitive person, and she is also, i find that a lot of times when it comes to studying or anything to do with vet school admissions, i can feel a bit of tension in the air. it's not that we outright are tense with each other, but its more the atmosphere, since we both know how competitive it is to get into vet school.

at first i thought it was just me who was giving off that vibe, but i can feel it from her as well.

i was wondering if anyone else has had this conflict before? i'm not quite sure how to deal with it and it's harder because she's also my closest friend and we are very much alike.

i don't have any other pre-vet friends either...but i was wondering how all you guys deal with tension/competitiveness with your pre-vet acquantances..

 

[Nexx]

I think the first step is that you both need to talk to each other. The truth of the matter is you really aren't competing against each other or anyone else for that matter. Competing implies that you are trying to beat your roommate (or anyone else for that matter) to a set goal. I think deep down you really aren't trying to do that as evidenced by your post.

So basically you just need to work things out a little... So yeah the first step is to talk to your roommate and lay things out. The second step is to immediately stop discussing your grades with each other--it doesn't matter to anyone but you, maybe your parents, and the schools you will apply to eventually. It is also one of those things that can help build tension when you may feel like you put more effort into studying/assignments than your roommate and they end up doing better or vice versa. Step 3 is to try and encourage each other along the way and help out with information where you can.

Vet school and the vet industry is more about collaboration than competition. I learned quite a while ago that competition in school, work, and in other areas tends to be bit self defeating. Just remember that there is likely a place for you and all your pre vet friends who truly want to enter the field.

 

[sunnex3]

our relationship is quite strange, in a way.
we help each other out as much as we can, whenever we have problems with homework, studying, admissions information, class selection, or just general support.

most of the time there isn't really any tension at all - but recently i've noticed that there's more tension around exam time and especially when i talk to her about admissions and what we should be doing, what our alternative plans are if we don't get in, and general support. i like to talk about my conflicts and concerns, and especially since we're so close, i tend to to talk to her about them, but she gets very tense and just clams up whenever i try to confide in her.

and it's not like we wnat to enter the same area either - she wants to do general practice, i want to do SA/LA surgery.

and i don't know if i can talk to her about the tension that i've been feeling without ruining the friendship we have right now. we are such good friends that i would hate to ruin that. she is literally my other half when i'm at school. i feel like talking about this would make things super awkward.

but it's quite strange because while we're "competitive", at the same time, we also help each other out a lot.

 

[twelvetigers]

Have a chat and agree to root for each other! I'm sure you'll probably apply to some of the same places and some different. Even if you both apply to the same school, you are different people with different ideas and histories, so who knows what will happen acceptancewise.

I would, however, advise against reading each other's PS... I think that could too easily turn into a game of one-up. 😉

 

[Trilt]

My roomie is pre-med, so I'm personally just glad I don't have to deal with that. 😀

 

[Beanjamime]

My roomie is pre-med, so I'm personally just glad I don't have to deal with that. 😀

Trilt -your smiling cat avatar is so cute.

I agree with what Twelvetigers said, you guys are different people and in my opinion it seems like vet schools sometimes have no rhyme or reason why they pick one person and not another.

 

[hopefulvet21]

Kick her ass! Step on whoever you have to to get into vet school!



(totally kidding- but I imagine that's what a pre-med would do).

 

[rouxeny]

.

 

[sunnex3]

I was in the same situation. Personally, I used the tension to "kick it up a notch" and push myself to be just a little bit better than I may have been otherwise.

i guess the main problem lies in the fact that she is my best friend, but at the same time, is my competitor. I've never really had to deal with that before (I'm not used to knowing other fellow pre-vets) and so it's really a learning experience for me.

talking about vet school admissions is a VERY touchy, sensitive subject between us, even when we're talking about planning courses, experience, etc.

😕

 

[sumstorm]

In my opinion, the most successful people bring thier associates up the ladder with them. I try to embrace that whenver I am with people that I could be in competition with... I find team efforts often provide far more power than individuals pushing each other away.

Working together can improve everyone's chances. I am grateful that the pre-health program at my college pushed for us to team up, teach each other, share experiences and opportunities, and build networks with and through each other.

 

[sunnex3]

In my opinion, the most successful people bring thier associates up the ladder with them. I try to embrace that whenver I am with people that I could be in competition with... I find team efforts often provide far more power than individuals pushing each other away.

Working together can improve everyone's chances. I am grateful that the pre-health program at my college pushed for us to team up, teach each other, share experiences and opportunities, and build networks with and through each other.

ahhh the inevitable problem at my school..

because there's such a large population of pre-health students, EVERYONE is in competition with each other. no one works with each other, everyone is really out there for their own interest and some, frankly, would trample others to get to the top. it's terrible 👎

 

[rachroo]

I've had lab groups with pre-meds where my partners would not answer a question I had asked because it would hurt them.

I am really hoping my vet school classmates are a friendly, helpful, and supportive group. 🙂

I am not big on trying to be competitive with the goal of getting a high class rank. I am there to hopefully learn as much as I can, be a good veterinarian, and to help others acheive the same goals!

 

[sumstorm]

Then lead the charge for a different perspective. I am willing to bet there are at least a few others who could grasp the concept of working together and would prefer to do so. You might then find that the team efforts help move the entire group to a better position in the program, which will force others to consider it. The ONLY thing you can control is your own behavior and your own reactions. Chose paths that suit your best interests and help others along the way.

 

[twelvetigers]

I can't help but give people vet school advice when they seem like they could use it. I'm certainly not top authority, but one of my botany lab partners is a self-proclaimed pre-vet and yet she didn't know anything about the GRE, biology GRE, required courses... other vet schools... and she thinks dead animals are "icky." I can't help her with that last one, but I'm more than happy to fill her in on everything else. I'm confident that, even if I were speaking with someone applying for the same cycle, I would still genuinely try to help them out if I could.

So I say "bah!" to all the pre-med style animosity and competition. We're future colleagues, not opponents.

 

[prevet09]

now now, we shouldn't bash pre-meds b/c not everyone is like that! some sure, but there are plenty who buy into the cooperative learning method. i definitely agree w/you rachroo, but the vet schools i have visited have emphasized that people aren't competitive anymore. hopefully that's true!

 

[Louranana]

My roommate and I both study biochemistry. And we always take the same course and study together. Sometimes I have the same problem as well, especially when our grade are based on curves, and we have to compete to get a better grade. and the fact is that she always get a better grade than me...T.T But we are still the best friends~~ And in the final year, when I am applying to vet school and she is applying to nutrition PhD, we give each other huge amount of support~~ we really wish both of us can get the best admission ~ Is it because we have different goal now? I don't know... But I definitely think your roommate and you are not competing to each other~ you will be happiest when both of you can go to vet school, right? it is very hard to find someone with the same dream~~

my approach dealing with the tension is always thinking how nice she treats me~~ whenever I think about this, I can feel our friendship is much more important than the grades~

When I went to the interviews, I found all the other people are soooo nice~~ vet school students seems to be much gentle and considerate than the others~😀😀 So I don't think there will be a problem living with another vet student~~

Just take it easy~everything will be fine~🙂🙂🙂