Quantcast

sacrificing friendships on the road of becoming a doctor

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

jillzhou

Full Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2010
Messages
91
Reaction score
7

Members don't see this ad.
It's sad but it's true (at least in my case). This summer was supposed to be a time where i would meet with old friends, but instead i'm stuck doing an internship, taking classes etc. I feel like something always comes in the way; has anyone been a similar situation..no time for friends? literally.
 

Whatyousay

A few loose screws
10+ Year Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2009
Messages
5,804
Reaction score
62
It's sad but it's true (at least in my case). This summer was supposed to be a time where i would meet with old friends, but instead i'm stuck doing an internship, taking classes etc. I feel like something always comes in the way; has anyone been a similar situation..no time for friends? literally.

You sound miserable. Take a gap year or two between college and med school, and maybe flesh out your interests a bit (assuming you're not already knee-deep in student loans). You'll have the rest of your life to work.
 

Charles Darwin

KFBR392
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
1,168
Reaction score
4
You sound miserable. Take a gap year (or two) between college and med school, and maybe flesh out your interests a bit.
Taking a gap year is going to salvage the friendships lost throughout an entire college career?
 

Soulstice

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
644
Reaction score
4
In my experiences, college breaks are when everyone is busy and so freeing up time usually doesn't push things along unless you like to spend time relaxing on your own. Though all my friends are also pre-meds.
 

BA11

It's always lupus
7+ Year Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2011
Messages
425
Reaction score
21
I think some people are just poor time managers. I ALWAYS read about premed and medical students saying they gave up friendships, stopped doing everything they loved, etc.

Of all the premed and medical students I personally know (including myself) and consider friends, I can't think of a single one who has given up friendships they didnt want to due to their education and never has time for hobbies. I have been busting my tail for the last two years preparing for med school, and even during my MCAT studying and while I was applying and working full-time I still managed to spend time with my fiance, play pool, basketball, video game, etc. with friends (many of whom are in the same boat as me), work out....I just don't get it. The first and second year medical students I know say the same thing, they still have time to enjoy life.
 

Narmerguy

Full Member
Moderator Emeritus
10+ Year Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
6,874
Reaction score
1,352
Taking a gap year is going to salvage the friendships lost throughout an entire college career?

Maintaining friendships isn't that hard. No matter how busy you are, I highly doubt you are busy 16 hours of every day for 7 days a week. Hanging out with friends isn't as easy when pursuing challenging goals like being a doctor. A lot of my friends always hang out without me and will tease me or complain about me studying or working or some other activity I'm involved with.

Nonetheless, calling/meeting up once or twice a week is almost always possible. You just need to make it a priority...that means instead of just laying on your bed watching TV when you get home from your internship and don't feel like studying that instead you give your friend a call or write him a letter. You can arrange to meet up for lunch instead of eating at your desk or eating by yourself or with your coworkers every day.

There are 168 hours in a week and that's plenty to do anything that's a priority to you. Some people don't care if they see their friends so they get to use that time for other stuff like cooking, learning hobbies, playing games, etc. If that's not you, there's likely some small opportunities that you're neglecting. Maintaining a good friendship takes commitment.
 

Long Way to Go

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2011
Messages
689
Reaction score
191
It's sad but it's true (at least in my case). This summer was supposed to be a time where i would meet with old friends, but instead i'm stuck doing an internship, taking classes etc. I feel like something always comes in the way; has anyone been a similar situation..no time for friends? literally.
If you're working so much that you don't have the time to meet friends, then you're doing something wrong. It's quite easy to have a 50+ hour internship (including the commute) and still meet friends in the evenings and on weekends. If you think it's you who has the problem, just try to shift your schedule around, work less, drop a course if you haven't started the second summer semester, etc. No sense in wasting one of the few summers you have left to yourself. If it's a problem of your friends never being free at the same time, schedule things like evening activity&dinner or midnight Harry Potter. Hardly anyone has to work then.
 

Evergrey

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
1,471
Reaction score
8
Yeah, it's all about time management. You shouldn't have to give up your friendships to become a doctor. In fact if that is the price of becoming a physician, you should ask yourself if it's something you're really willing to give up..
 

CuringHeartsMD

New Member
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
I'm not worried about time management per se. I'm just worried about studying for something I feel like I don't enjoy. I don't want to waste my time studying all these pre-med courses. A doctor told me that if I don't enjoy these classes, then being a doctor maybe isn't for me. I study hard and go out with friends after I'm done, but I feel miserable. I'm also a little behind and I think that's discouraging me too. Have any you felt this at some time before going to medical school? Do most students who end up going to medical school experience this unfortunate feeling?
 

Kaustikos

Antibiotics 4 Lyfe
10+ Year Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2008
Messages
12,698
Reaction score
4,815
It's sad but it's true (at least in my case). This summer was supposed to be a time where i would meet with old friends, but instead i'm stuck doing an internship, taking classes etc. I feel like something always comes in the way; has anyone been a similar situation..no time for friends? literally.


Subtract time sleeping for time with friends. If the friend is female....combine the two. Problem solved :thumbup:
 

whatsupdoc49

Full Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2011
Messages
99
Reaction score
0
I feel you. even though I technically COULD make more time for friends, I feel guilty about spending more than a couple hours/week with friends. I find myself thinking about how productive I could have been during that time, and at times it is difficult for me to allocate my time in a way that allows me to be both productive and happy. It doesn't help that none of my close friends are trying to get into med school so they don't understand...blah.
 

Propylene

Class of 2017
Joined
Oct 6, 2010
Messages
325
Reaction score
2
It's sad but it's true (at least in my case). This summer was supposed to be a time where i would meet with old friends, but instead i'm stuck doing an internship, taking classes etc. I feel like something always comes in the way; has anyone been a similar situation..no time for friends? literally.

Your true friends will still be there. There are sacrifices that you'll have to make, but those who are closest to you will understand what you're going through and hopefully support it. It's not the lifestyle for superficial friendships.
 

SexyDoctor

Full Member
Removed
Joined
Apr 20, 2011
Messages
3,179
Reaction score
2
I'll replace my friends with a barrel of $$$$ any day babbyyyy :D

Besides..friends? You could always buy those!
 

BiopsychStudent

Full Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2010
Messages
266
Reaction score
1
It's sad but it's true (at least in my case). This summer was supposed to be a time where i would meet with old friends, but instead i'm stuck doing an internship, taking classes etc. I feel like something always comes in the way; has anyone been a similar situation..no time for friends? literally.

As you move through your education and life you're going to have a high turnover rate with friendships, that's just the way it is. Your friends probably aren't spending their summers lounging around like when they were 12 either (Well maybe they are; I think something like 1/5 of all college grads are out of work) - they're probably taking internships and meeting new work/school-friends too.

Relax and try to make time for them. If you can't, than you'll get caught up another time, and if that still doesn't happen you weren't great friends anyway.
 
Top