SDN Creative Writers Share Thread

[omgwtfbbq?]

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Allrighty folks,

since I first uttered the cry "Augh! What do I do? write? medicine? write about medicine? get a deferral? hellllp?" a lot of SDN writers have been coming out of the woodworks. Everyone has different advice for the many posters recently torn between their art and science, but what I want to do is.... *drumroll*

PROVE YOU WRITE!!! YES, THATS RIGHT. ITS TIME TO PUT OUR WORD FILES WHERE OUR MOUTHS ARE AND START SHARING SOME WRITING.

Poets, essayists,short story writers (like mysef), even postmodernists (i'm feeling generous today... hehe) lets start posting. This can be our mini support group. It'll give us somewhere to go to post our work now and during med school. We can hold each other accountable for not letting our writing fall to the wayside.

So go ahead and post. I'm looking forward to reading everybody's stuff. I'll post some of my work here tonight, I'm not on my home computer right now.

 

[Shiny Demon]

I don't really have much to say about writing, but I just wanted to acknowledge your cuteoverload name. I have been doing the omg wtf bbq thing lately too.

 

[Indryd]

I don't really have much to say about writing, but I just wanted to acknowledge your cuteoverload name. I have been doing the omg wtf bbq thing lately too.

Edit: I refuse to be the only ******* posting work.

 

[Zweihander]

I don't really have much to say about writing, but I just wanted to acknowledge your cuteoverload name. I have been doing the omg wtf bbq thing lately too.

Explain yourself, damn you! 😡
I'm confused. 🙁 🙁

 

[Shiny Demon]

Explain yourself, damn you! 😡
I'm confused. 🙁 🙁

No, YOU explain YOURSELF, damn YOU!

Just kidding. Um..."cuteoverload.com" is basically a funny woman's blog and one day she was kind of poking fun at 13-yr-old girls who use too much internetspeak, and omgwtfbbq was .... well, I guess it doesn't sound funny when I just explain it, so I suppose you'll have to go there and see if you think it is funny YOURSELF. Damn you.

 

[Zweihander]

No, YOU explain YOURSELF, damn YOU!

Just kidding. Um..."cuteoverload.com" is basically a funny woman's blog and one day she was kind of poking fun at 13-yr-old girls who use too much internetspeak, and omgwtfbbq was .... well, I guess it doesn't sound funny when I just explain it, so I suppose you'll have to go there and see if you think it is funny YOURSELF. Damn you.

Dammit, you young whippersnappers are coming up with new lingo faster than I can keep up! 😱

And I used to be *cool.* 🙁

 

[mysophobe]

What the hell does bbq mean? Does it have anything to do with the cooking?

 

[omgwtfbbq?]

I'm not sure what cuteoverload.com is either, i never saw it before 🙂 The name is for fun. It came up one day when my boyfriend and I were making fun of online people who take their acronym speak way too seriously.....

BBQ. like ribs. like a plate of ribs smothered in sauce. or whatever it is you like to barbeque.

the name is just supposed to be funny. Everyone online goes
OMG! WTF? I can't believe you...
OMG! WTF? There's som guy outside my window and he's...
OMG! WTF! Did you know?

So i figured.... what they heck... why wouldn't someone get riled up over barbeque (i LOVE ribs and smothered cabbage....) Hence, the name, just to be cute (or something) Oh my G-d! What the F*ck? Barbeque?

perhaps one would say this after looking outside their window to see that there is a gigantic stranger, maybe 7 feel tall, who has dug a barbeque pit in their yard and is not creating a savory dinner. but in a really really unexpected, hey thats weird kind of way. its the best I can do. This is the death of my thread isn't it?

 

[dbhvt]

when i did the iowa thing, they taught me to be paranoid about spreading my work around without protetcting it... I'd love to share my stuff with you, but don't feel comfortable posting it online.

 

[unfrozencaveman]

Edit: I refuse to be the only ******* posting work.

Come on. No one is biting? I wrote the following for McSweeney's "Open Letters to People or Entities not Likely to Respond", and forgot it ever happened. 25 was so long ago...

Dear The Future Casting Director of VH1’s “I love the 2000’s”:

Although I realize I am writing far in advance of production, I wanted to say both that I am a huge fan of the shows, and that I would be flattered to be taken into consideration as a commentator for “I love the 2000’s”. Or is it “00’s”?

At the time of this letter, I am a 25 year old urban female, pursuing a graduate degree. Had I known it were possible to make a living making irreverent commentary on pop culture miscellanea, my life would have taken a different course. I am well educated, and passably attractive- enough so that I can wear nerdy glasses, or funny retro outfits and still look cool. I am both highly susceptible to trends I will undoubtedly regret later, and self-deprecating enough to appreciate the error of my ways. The majority of my time now is spent perusing the internet, Tivo-ing things, making fun of people, driving an SUV, wearing the aforementioned glasses, buying things on ebay, wondering how many carbs are in things, and thinking about how Apple computers are so much better than other computers. It is safe to say that between now and 2011, I will remain passionate about these causes.

Assuming that date is correct for taping, I will be 32 years old, living in a major city, and presumably a similar version of my current self, which seems very much on par with commentators from VH1’s “I love the 70’s”, “I love the 80’s” and “I love the 90’s”. I don’t know who those people are, but I can guarantee I am funnier than most, or all of them, with the exception of the guy who said, “Don Johnson’s music was like Hall and Oates. But without Hall. Or Oates.” That was actually pretty funny.

Just off the top of my head:

On music sampling: “A lot of people dismissed rap artists who sampled songs and rapped over them as hacks. I don’t know much about it, but I do know it’s probably pretty hard to make a hardcore gangsta rap track from anything by Bruce Hornsby. That takes some talent.”

On “Law and Order”: “In the criminal justice system, there are two separate, yet equally important groups. One of them was Sam Waterston’s eyebrows, and I can’t remember the other one. Which is weird, because I watched 16 back to back episodes a day in 2003.”

On low rise pants: “If half your ass is showing, do these still qualify as pants? As leg warmers though, they’re very modest”

On “Sex and the City”: “This show was about three sluts, and a total *****. Not since the Golden Girls had there been a show that made my life look so unglamorous in comparison.”

Anyway, that was just brainstorming, but you get the idea. I hope you take me into consideration. I really think I would be an asset to the “I love the 2000’s” team.

I eagerly await your response. I will have probably moved, but I’m sure my Gmail account will still work. If you or your robot assistant could contact me as soon as it is feasible to do so, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

 

[unfrozencaveman]

when i did the iowa thing, they taught me to be paranoid about spreading my work around without protetcting it... I'd love to share my stuff with you, but don't feel comfortable posting it online.

And speaking of, I also wrote a Baseball Promotions Seasons Outlook, reviewing all the teams and their respective promotional days. Only to find in plagerized in Sports Illustrated a few months later. Jerks. They paid though.

 

[omgwtfbbq?]

unfrozen, or should I say, the other girl on SDN people always think is a boy, thats some funny stuff you have there.

and i still promise i will post some of my whatnot as soon as I'm on my home computer!!! (livin' at the lab this weekend... livin' at the lab...)

 

[unfrozencaveman]

unfrozen, or should I say, the other girl on SDN people always think is a boy, thats some funny stuff you have there.

and i still promise i will post some of my whatnot as soon as I'm on my home computer!!! (livin' at the lab this weekend... livin' at the lab...)

I thought I'd try and jump start the thread with something benign. I've already embarrassed myself six ways from sunday on SDN, and that was published anyway, so I'm over caring. I want to read some stuff, dammit. Let's see it.

 

[Arctic Char]

since i just wrote this to a friend this morning, what the hell, i'll post it up:

i spent all day yesterday working in a mobile medical unit in the West Bank Palestinian Territories. it was truly one of the most incredible experiences i've had in a long time, depite having travelled through the territories before. it was so insightful to see how to practice medicine when there exists absolutely no healthcare infrastructure, and how true chaos erupts from those who need help. the infrastructure issue is HUGE. its amazing how your role and duties as a physician change when there really is no healthcare system to speak of - which equates to no continuity of care.

I was working with Physicians for Human Rights. We arrived in our white caravans, driving single file through the west bank until we arrive at the charity clinic that had hundreds of Palestinians waiting outside for us. Lined up against the wall, camped under a makeshift tent, the facility was overflowing with people ready and anxious to recieve care. As we start walking in, about 15-20 of us in total, the crowd parts like a red carpet is laid between them, and we all walk in like celebreties, single-file, as hundreds of patients outside and inside stare at us and perpetually utter "salaam, salaam (peace be upon you)". There were several photographers, a video man, and a very very interesting political briefing where palestinian authorities expressed peaceful gratitude to our team (many Israeli physicians), while making a point to still refer to the "israeli occupation". We obviously returned with "we're here to help, lets go to work." It was exciting to be privy in this small meeting, and to exchange eye contact, handshakes, and bows of respect to people with so much hope and pride in their eyes, but obvious desperation in their surroundings. It felt as if i could see them spitefully fighting the urge to be ashamed of themselves.

Once set up, I joined a neurologist for the day - we're seeing patients, doing exams, writing scripts, etc - meanwhile the door keeps bulging into the room and slamming back while 50+ palestinians are trying to barge into the room to receive care - and this was just our room amongst 8 others with more urgent patients with more serious concerns than headaches and nervousness. we have to scream at the patients we're seeing (at the interpreter) just because its so loud outside the door with people screaming, children crying, security activity, etc etc. The most fast pace medicine i could ever imagine. and bare too, we were writing prescriptions on torn up pieces of xerox paper, and the room had nothing but a bare exam table (no sheet or curtain) that was stained with god-knows-what (blood, rust, time, you name it), and a small desk to write on (well there was a sharps container concocted out of an old pepsi bottle).

For every script we handed the patients, i mentally sized-up the likelihood of 1) the patient complying, 2) the pharmacy actually having the drug, or 3) accuracy of diagnoses (it was a hectic environment), and 4) what is the patient NOT telling us? And i'll never know the answer to any of these questions. Like i said before, absolutely no continuity of care. these concerns aren't so different from those we have in the States after seeing a patient, its just that in this case, the likelihood measures are far, far smaller.

So what's the use? in my humble opinion, showing people that someone cares is always an invaluable strategy for getting them to care about themselves. For instance, although performing physical exams on Mulsim women is a very culturally delicate activity, having a special OB/GYN clinic set up - where only women can enter - goes a long way towards demonstrating the indiscriminate value of every individual human. This is leading by example, and it paves the way for men to accept a woman's individual pursuit of, and right to healthcare - for which their desire is only expressed in candid medical interviews with secular physicians from developed areas.

As a result of this experience, i understand the cultural differences in perception of health and illness, and how to improvise when the only consistency to protocol is frenzy and pressure. I understand poverty a little better, and the cultural contributions to it. I also understand hope a little better, and progress, and the fact that the two are inseparable. And no matter what the cultural divide, if it can't be bridged by care . . . you haven't cared enough.

 

[Arctic Char]

man, my writing is that bad, huh? it makes a thread go extinct

 

[unfrozencaveman]

man, my writing is that bad, huh? it makes a thread go extinct

I think I helped.

 

[gdbaby]

Come on. No one is biting? I wrote the following for McSweeney's "Open Letters to People or Entities not Likely to Respond", and forgot it ever happened. 25 was so long ago...

Dear The Future Casting Director of VH1’s “I love the 2000’s”:

Although I realize I am writing far in advance of production, I wanted to say both that I am a huge fan of the shows, and that I would be flattered to be taken into consideration as a commentator for “I love the 2000’s”. Or is it “00’s”?

At the time of this letter, I am a 25 year old urban female, pursuing a graduate degree. Had I known it were possible to make a living making irreverent commentary on pop culture miscellanea, my life would have taken a different course. I am well educated, and passably attractive- enough so that I can wear nerdy glasses, or funny retro outfits and still look cool. I am both highly susceptible to trends I will undoubtedly regret later, and self-deprecating enough to appreciate the error of my ways. The majority of my time now is spent perusing the internet, Tivo-ing things, making fun of people, driving an SUV, wearing the aforementioned glasses, buying things on ebay, wondering how many carbs are in things, and thinking about how Apple computers are so much better than other computers. It is safe to say that between now and 2011, I will remain passionate about these causes.

Assuming that date is correct for taping, I will be 32 years old, living in a major city, and presumably a similar version of my current self, which seems very much on par with commentators from VH1’s “I love the 70’s”, “I love the 80’s” and “I love the 90’s”. I don’t know who those people are, but I can guarantee I am funnier than most, or all of them, with the exception of the guy who said, “Don Johnson’s music was like Hall and Oates. But without Hall. Or Oates.” That was actually pretty funny.

Just off the top of my head:

On music sampling: “A lot of people dismissed rap artists who sampled songs and rapped over them as hacks. I don’t know much about it, but I do know it’s probably pretty hard to make a hardcore gangsta rap track from anything by Bruce Hornsby. That takes some talent.”

On “Law and Order”: “In the criminal justice system, there are two separate, yet equally important groups. One of them was Sam Waterston’s eyebrows, and I can’t remember the other one. Which is weird, because I watched 16 back to back episodes a day in 2003.”

On low rise pants: “If half your ass is showing, do these still qualify as pants? As leg warmers though, they’re very modest”

On “Sex and the City”: “This show was about three sluts, and a total *****. Not since the Golden Girls had there been a show that made my life look so unglamorous in comparison.”

Anyway, that was just brainstorming, but you get the idea. I hope you take me into consideration. I really think I would be an asset to the “I love the 2000’s” team.

I eagerly await your response. I will have probably moved, but I’m sure my Gmail account will still work. If you or your robot assistant could contact me as soon as it is feasible to do so, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Unfrozen--
I LOVE McSweeney's. Love Eggers. Which volume/issue was this in? I want to go back and read it. One of my favorites was the issue that came with the They Might Be Giants soundtrack CD. hysterical.

Well done. This was my big laugh for the day.