SDN Hostility

[beanbean]

SDN is a great resource for all of us who are in the middle of this pre-med craziness. It is always comforting to read threads posted by people stressing out, asking for advice, or venting about this nutty process. This forum has allowed people to share their joys, sorrows and fears. However, recently I have been appalled by the hostility and general nastiness demonstrated by some members of this community toward others.

Yes, yes, everyone has the right to speak there opinion, but please stop picking fights and ripping apart others with negativity and cynicism. I don't know what is wrong with those who must tear into any poor soul that dares to ask the infamous "do I have a chance ?" question (especially if they have a good MCAT score), or call people names just because they voice a differing opinion. Are these individuals jealous, insecure, or just not nice people? It really doesn't matter why.

To those of you who feel it is your job here to insult others and create general ill will: please go away. I'm not saying that everyone one should post nice, warm, fuzzies all the time; but there are tactful ways to get your point across.

It is hard to believe reading some the replies posted here are by individuals who aspire to become physicians. Compassion and caring are two of the last adjectives I would use to describe a few of the individuals in this forum.

Fortunately, most of the people in our community are helpful, friendly and intelligent; and will one day be fantastic doctors!

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[Dr. Wall$treet]

ok if a person gets on here and says do i have a chance and say they have a 3.94gpa and a 11v 13B 13P .. um they are either just plain stupid, they are extremely unresourceful people ot not know the odds of them getting in, or htey are just bieng dicks or incosiderate poeple. Either way most times it is ******ed posts that that stuff occurs in. and these are gonna be docs? thats my take on the do i have a chance threads. Now if they are legit i have no prob at all with them

 

[Random Access]

I think the annoying thing...is whenever someone asks about secondaries, interviews, or anything about the school really, someone says, can everyone please post their stats? (just look at the Duke thread now)

As if that helps people with anything. Seems to me it can only make people feel worse! The people who have lower stats say, "oh noooo! I'm going to get rejected!" And the people with higher stats say, "oh noooo! I haven't gotten an interview/acceptance yet!"

And the other thing is that people are so impatient. Honestly, it's only 2/3 of the way through October. There is so much time left, and not everyone is going to get interviewed in September and October. Just because you haven't heard anything yet doesn't mean you're rejected, as too many people interpret.

 

[womansurg]

You gotta admit, if you have a single ounce of honest integrity, that the 'affirmative action' thread - which satirizes all of the 'do I have chance?' posts - is the funniest thing you've seen in a long time. Most of the sharp retorts you see are clever and intended to be humorous.

To be honest, I get my hugs 'n pats on the head at home, with my family and my good friends. When I get online, I hope to get involved in a lively debate (argument?) with people who have a different perspective than my own.

It's true it can be a little bit ruthless here. But overall, there is a tremendous amount of support and help being shared. When people are geniune in their worries, other people really respond - without a doubt. I think, like RA and Wallstreet say, sometimes there's a lack of credibility about the motives of the posters.

 

[Ma!]

Beanbean, I think SDN posters are the smartest, wittiest, coolest of the cool. I also hate to see how hard they are on one another, BUT...once you've lurked for a while, you get a feel for the personalities.
SDN posters are not unlike a cross-section of any group of people anywhere: You got your earnest ones, you got your antagonistic ones, you got your sensitive ones, you got your easily baited ones-
Its all good, its what makes the world turn. Enjoy!

 

[womansurg]

Originally posted by Ma!
Beanbean, I think SDN posters are the smartest, wittiest, coolest of the cool. SDN posters are not unlike a cross-section of any group of people anywhere: You got your earnest ones, you got your antagonistic ones, you got your sensitive ones, you got your easily baited ones-
Its all good, its what makes the world turn. Enjoy!

You're awesome, Ma! That was beautiful.

 

[Woots32]

Originally posted by Ma!
Beanbean, I think SDN posters are the smartest, wittiest, coolest of the cool. I also hate to see how hard they are on one another, BUT...once you've lurked for a while, you get a feel for the personalities.
SDN posters are not unlike a cross-section of any group of people anywhere: You got your earnest ones, you got your antagonistic ones, you got your sensitive ones, you got your easily baited ones-
Its all good, its what makes the world turn. Enjoy!

Ma, you rock!

Any way I can get you to talk some sense into my parents?

 

[Random Access]

Originally posted by Woots32
Ma, you rock!

Any way I can get you to talk some sense into my parents?

Yeah, same here.

 

[Ma!]

Originally posted by Woots32

Any way I can get you to talk some sense into my parents? [/B]

Let them spend some time with scienceriot as their daughter-that will teach them a thing or two....

 

[beanbean]

I couldn't agree more that SDNers are an awesome group! There are definitely some posters who are "asking for it" by posting nearly perfect GPAs and MCAT and whining that they don't know if they will ever get in to med school. However, in the past few weeks there seems to be more bickering and mud-slinging in many threads. Perhaps people are just stressed sinced acceptances have started going out and many applicants have yet to start interviewing. Whatever the reason, it seemed that every other thread I looked at today seemed to have someone swearing with symbols calling other people names.

I think this forum provides an excellent arena in which people can be honest and criticize others constructively. At times some people carry it a bit too far; but this too will pass.

 

[Andrew_Doan]

Originally posted by Ma!
Beanbean, I think SDN posters are the smartest, wittiest, coolest of the cool. I also hate to see how hard they are on one another, BUT...once you've lurked for a while, you get a feel for the personalities.
SDN posters are not unlike a cross-section of any group of people anywhere: You got your earnest ones, you got your antagonistic ones, you got your sensitive ones, you got your easily baited ones-
Its all good, its what makes the world turn. Enjoy!

Right on Ma!

Perhaps this is why SDN is so addictive.

 

[DoubleDoctor]

As someone who had above average GPA and MCAT, I can tell you that people applying to med school are notoriously hard on themselves. Just because you have a good application, it doesn't assure you anything. We all know people with exception stats that don't get in anywhere.

The day I got my MCAT's I was in an online chat and I really thought (at that time) that I should probably retake it because I was disappointed that I didn't do as well as I wanted. I was flamed big time. After giving it a few days thought I decided that my score was fine and I did not retake because you can always do worse. I think when most people ask the dreaded "what are my chances?" question they are just scared and need a little reassurance.

This is a stressful time for everyone and many people don't have friends or family that really understand what they are going through. Most of my friends happen to be comp science majors and they don't have a clue how hard it is to get into med school and with the exception of my Mom, to most of my family it was just a foregone conclusion that I would be accepted anywhere I applied.

I think you only need to look within yourself and if you are honest, you will admit that you too have fears. I can still remember the first time I received a "B" in college. I was devastated and I would have qualified as clinically depressed for about a month afterwards.

Most people come to this board because we want to be with people that UNDERSTAND what we are going through and can be of some support. It doesn't have to be hugs and kisses all the time. We should be honest with each other but never cruel but there are always people that get their kicks out of tearing other people down. Unfortunately, it is a part of life.

As I have mentioned in other posts, my father is like this and the best way to deal with these people is to limit your exposure and ignore them. I see him once a year and couldn't tell you what we last discussed if you offered me a million dollars. It literally goes in one ear and out the other. His opinions and advice aren't of the least interest to me. I don't respect him thus I'm not interested in what he thinks about my life. An example of this is that every year on my birthday, I go out to dinner with my Mom and her family. I am very close to my grandparents and my aunt and I want to spend my birthday with them. Every year, Dad calls about 10 or 11PM and b*tches me out that I wasn't out with friends and chose to spend my birthday with my family. It doesn't matter that i have repeatedly told him that I WANT to spend my birthday this way, he is a broken record. Bottom line is I'll do what I want. He is jealous. I certainly would not chose to spend any holiday with him. Toxic people that have no compassion for others end up pretty lonely.

 

[Dr. Wall$treet]

double you sound like a HUGE loser.. depressed for a month over a B.. you totaly need a life man, take a lookin the mirror.. sucks doesnt it

 

[DoubleDoctor]

Wallstreet,

No, I'm anything but a loser but I'm talking about the very first time I ever got a "B" ( not the last certainly). I knew I wanted to go to med school and I totally was blowing it out of proportion. I realize now how crazy a response that was. I was in my second year, and I think I was partially worried that if I had trouble in that class, then what if I had trouble in others. It took me a little while to realize that it did not matter and that I was making myself crazy. Does calling someone else a loser make you feel better about yourself?

 

[womansurg]

Originally posted by Dr. Wall$treet
double you sound like a HUGE loser.. depressed for a month over a B.. you totaly need a life man, take a lookin the mirror.. sucks doesnt it

Heehee....beanbean is thinking, "See! Here is a perfect example of a poor soul in genuine angst over a real issue - being browbeat!"

And Wallstreet's thinking, "See! Here's one of those jokers looking for false sympathy for some total B.S. complaint....hell, I wish I could REMEMBER my first 'B'!"

Guess it's all in your perspective....

 

[Ma!]

I've had a night to think about this....
Do you think there could be ANY negative consequences to ripping somebody's head off on SDN and ****ting down their necks?

 

[crazyA]

Hey Wallstreet, I'd like to address your first post on this thread:

You seem to be annoyed when people who seem a lock for med school express doubts about their chances...so even if they are stupid, and unresourceful, why does this offend you so? As a doctor, your job will be to help patients no matter how undeserving or unworthy you think they are of your care. If you are unwilling to help these poor souls, how are you going to function as a physician when you get a patient you don't like?

And if these people are posting just to rub their numbers in the faces of the rest of us, your responding to them only gives them the pleasure they seek, they succeeded in pissing off someone. By either ignoring these people or giving them a polite answer, you deny them the reaction they want.

So come on y'all, be nice.

And DoubleDoctor, I know a lot of people who were depressed over their first B...for people who have gotten nothing but A's prior to that I imagine it's tough...but you seem to have recovered well from it. I'm sure there's a ton of other people on the site who felt the same as you when they got their first sub-A...though several months of clinical dperession does sound a bit extreme.