Hello, all,
Well, I've seen the proverbial elephant for the first time. Last week, I went to the gym with a friend; we'd planned to get there, change, warm up, and play some basketball, as usual. While I was in the locker room they put out an intercom call for a doctor. I finished changing, thinking that it must've been something minor and would be taken care of by someone who was better qualified.
When I got to the basketball court, the crowd was evenly split between the end near the entrance and the far end, at which a group stood around a prone body on the floor. A guy I'd seen before told me that this young man had just collapsed during the game. As far as I could see, no one was doing CPR, though it looked like someone was knelt by the figure as if examining him. By this time, it must have been around 5 minutes since his collapse.
Shortly, the paramedics arrived and began CPR. They tried a defibrillator, then had to intubate the kid because he wasn't breathing on his own. His pulse was weak and sporadic when they wheeled him out, and by the time the EMTs came back to get their stuff, they let us know that he was gone.
The way he looked as they took him out...I've never seen anything like that color, the look of his eyes...
He was 20, and, according to the news, died of a "heart attack" (much more likely SCA.)
I've been very upset this past week, and can't get the images out of my head or the fear and regret out of my heart. I imagine that, as I see this more often, the sharp edge of fear will be dulled somewhat, though, knowing me, the sadness and regret may never change.
I've been trained in CPR in the past, and will be trained again. And I'm more sure of my path in life now than I have been in many years. And yet...I won't get that chance back; his family will never get him back. I feel terrible for them, and there's nothing I can do to change the reality.
This was a guy close to my age, just living life and having fun, and then it was over. And I saw it happen and could do nothing.
Does anyone have experiences and insights they'd like to share with me? I only recently decided to make medicine my life's work, and so I'm painfully new to this sort of thing. I know it'll fade some in time, but for now it just hurts.
If you've been there, how have you coped? To paraphrase Sara Henderson Hay: how can this small body hold so immense a thing as death? 🙁
Well, I've seen the proverbial elephant for the first time. Last week, I went to the gym with a friend; we'd planned to get there, change, warm up, and play some basketball, as usual. While I was in the locker room they put out an intercom call for a doctor. I finished changing, thinking that it must've been something minor and would be taken care of by someone who was better qualified.
When I got to the basketball court, the crowd was evenly split between the end near the entrance and the far end, at which a group stood around a prone body on the floor. A guy I'd seen before told me that this young man had just collapsed during the game. As far as I could see, no one was doing CPR, though it looked like someone was knelt by the figure as if examining him. By this time, it must have been around 5 minutes since his collapse.
Shortly, the paramedics arrived and began CPR. They tried a defibrillator, then had to intubate the kid because he wasn't breathing on his own. His pulse was weak and sporadic when they wheeled him out, and by the time the EMTs came back to get their stuff, they let us know that he was gone.
The way he looked as they took him out...I've never seen anything like that color, the look of his eyes...
He was 20, and, according to the news, died of a "heart attack" (much more likely SCA.)
I've been very upset this past week, and can't get the images out of my head or the fear and regret out of my heart. I imagine that, as I see this more often, the sharp edge of fear will be dulled somewhat, though, knowing me, the sadness and regret may never change.
I've been trained in CPR in the past, and will be trained again. And I'm more sure of my path in life now than I have been in many years. And yet...I won't get that chance back; his family will never get him back. I feel terrible for them, and there's nothing I can do to change the reality.
This was a guy close to my age, just living life and having fun, and then it was over. And I saw it happen and could do nothing.
Does anyone have experiences and insights they'd like to share with me? I only recently decided to make medicine my life's work, and so I'm painfully new to this sort of thing. I know it'll fade some in time, but for now it just hurts.
If you've been there, how have you coped? To paraphrase Sara Henderson Hay: how can this small body hold so immense a thing as death? 🙁