Seperation Strategies for a SigO

[Opii]

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You're her fiancee, and yet your would rather have her fail out of med school or get a dishonorable discharge than interfere with your own career plans.

It's pretty obvious what's going to happen here. At some point, she's going to accept the fact that she has to serve, and go do it. Since, in your world, your career matters above everything else, you will not go with her. Then you will break up, both relieved that you never actually tied the knot.

Why are we even still discussing this? When students consider trying to get out of their HPSP contract, that's one thing. But this guy is a civilian, and would rather encourage his military girlfriend to commit fraud, than disrupt his own little life. I don't know why anyone would be interested in helping him.

Ditto

 

[8744]

I'll agree that if you do your homework, you're still probably only getting half the story. I'll freely admit I think she could have done more due diligence before signing, but, again, we should be judged not on how we treat the strongest, but how we treat our weakest and most vulnerable. The military preys upon the poorest, least educated, and those with the fewest options for its enlisted ranks. Similarly, it feeds its professional specialist ranks with those extremely ill-equipped to make decisions. I think, at the very least, some sort of watchdog obudsman position should be created, to provide fair and independant counsel to 21 year olds who've never had a job before. We provide government sponsored career counselling, why not this?

Because it would hurt recruitment, that's why. The hard sell continues.

So you are saying that there is no difference between your fiancee, in the top one-percent of Americans as far as intelligence, and Billy-Bob McSixpack in the trailer park groping his pregnant girlfriend and dreaming of getting a bigger truck?

Dude. Your premise is insulting to military officers and enlisted. Young men enlist in the military because it is an option, and a good one for many reasons including the desire to fight.

 

[AF M4]

Ok, enough. Like Congress, this thread has officially devolved into witless name-calling contest where nothing useful or informative is ever seriously discussed.

"Please do not feed the trolls."

 

[IgD]

Whatever happened to your fiance? Is she starting internship now?

 

[West Side]

I know two colleagues that attempted to get out of their committment early.

One had heavy political connections, and managed to finagle a hardship discharge a year early. The second doc was not successful... and the second doc had FAR, FAR more personal hardship than the first (the first doc was basically being inconvenienced).

I wasn't directly involved, but the second doc was a friend of mine, and it was actually heartbreaking to watch it unfold... that's how bad it was.

I won't give you the details, but suffice it to say that it was one of the saddest miscarriages of command decision-making I can remember from my military days. It brought one point home to me: political connections matter more that your actual situation.

yup...and don't forget money.

 

[megadon]

First, let me say that I have no problem with someone trying to get out of their commitment if they can by ethically/morally acceptable means. I for one would have tried to get out of it had I known what my life would have been for the last 3 years. But, being in it, I am not going to stoop to inappropriate options to get out earlier. Now if they offered the out, I'll be the first in line, even though I'm almost done anyway.

Second, there is one out for those with a commitment and that is that if you win over $900,000 in some kind of lottery or sweepstakes, they can/might/have let you out of your commitment earlier than need be. There was an HPSP doc here whose wife won $2.5 mil in a local casino and they let him out early. I don't know how or why and I don't even know if it is written down somewhere or if this was some crazy exception, but it happened. I know the guy. He's now in private practice here in town. Another 0-6 won $900,000 in casino here as well and although he had a commitment of another 3 years they let him out early. Not sure how that worked either. He was not medical person--just a line Col.

If either of these cases are really as simple as they were made out to be, especially like the doc's wife situation, there's got to be some kind of buy out option for certain circumstances even though the contracts say it cannot be done.

However, it does seem that getting out before your commitment is up is about as easy as winning the lottery.

The let you out if you win the lottery because they have no financial leverage over you anymore. Garnishing pay is a favorite Captain's Mast/Office Hours punishment. Don't know if they can do it to an officer, though. Hope to never be in that situation.

 

[megadon]

All right! I've finally caught up on this thread, it's only grew exponentially since the last time I read it. PCR anyone? Bottom line, getting out of that contract is extremely extremely hard. The military has a HUGE asset of lawyers who are on salary, not by the hour crap. My shipmate just joined them. So the military has been around since 1775, I'm sure they've devoted some of the 200+ years to figuring out how to write a contract you can't get out of. I was prior, and had already realized that signing another contract essentially made me a prostitute. I wasn't going to work for the military, they bought my body. Don't get sunburned on your off time and miss work, you can get court-martialled for that, really (if your CO is a prick). Haven't actually seen it, but have read case study.

So why does everyone say suck it up? Because we've all realized this is pretty much an unwinnable fight. Bang your head against a wall long enough, and what do you realize, you're bleeding and that wall is still standing. Talk to a lawyer, what's your break even before you realize it isn't worth pursuing?

Were there times during my seven year prior officer time that I regretted doing what I was doing, probably at least four years worth. Were there times at the Naval Academy I regretted doing it, oh yeah. What's the best view of the Academy (while you're there), in the rear view mirror. However, I got to do so much stuff (ride on French Helicopter Carrier, play Marine, etc) that I in no way regret what I did and the day to day BS that went on. Same said for my active duty time.

I can see as a fiancee how that won't apply, but you never know. I don't really know that side of the fence very well (my wife was a Marine who I met at the Academy, a year behind me, and got out a year after me).

So what are the steps of grieving? Something like denial, bargining, anger, acceptance? You got to move on to acceptance, and figure out what you're going to do from here. Being seperated SUCKS, did it for the first four years of my marriage. You did get like 250 extra a month for it, so covers your bar tab, so complete compensation, just kidding.

Man this post has grown, where have I been? Oh yeah, in the lab running gels and Western Blot. Man I hate my research job for the summer, but oh do I look forward to the points! Maybe it will offset my crappy grades. Med school is a lot harder than I ever thought it was going to be, and that's coming from someone who was working on nuclear submarines. Group grope everyone, hats off to all of this, med school is hard, you guys are smart and hard workers.