Okay, rewrite #1 -
Dear Dean ******,
I would like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to further discuss my situation with you and for your consideration and patience.
I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from the M.D. program. I admit that I have had a very difficult time this past year and that my performance was entirely unacceptable both for this school and for the medical profession as a whole. I fully understand the committee’s decision to dismiss me from the program. While my poor performance alone does not merit it, I would ask you to give me a second chance to come back and repeat second year and show that I can do better and make the institution proud.
This is a situation that I never thought I would be in. Prior to medical school I was a strong student who performed well enough in high school to be accepted to a competitive accelerated MD program. It was a dream come true when I was accepted into the B.A./M.D. program here at *******, because I have always been drawn to medicine as a profession where I can truly make a difference in other people’s lives. My struggles over the last two years have taught me that I can’t do this unless I take care of my own needs first.
I take full responsibility for the fact that I have fallen far short of the academic expectations established by the medical school. There are other students who have succeeded while facing far more difficulties than I have, but I would humbly ask that you consider my own personal struggles and academic failures in a holistic way and ultimately conclude to allow me a second chance. I didn’t come to medicine to be a physician who barely passes, but one who flourishes and excels. It pains me that my performance to date has been well below this standard.
One of the reasons I chose ******* B.A./M.D. program was because of its flexibility in allowing students to major in anything they want, but I made the poor decision to major in a less science-heavy field and was woefully underprepared when medical school started in earnest. Overall first semester was extremely challenging for me – I failed ******* and barely passed my other anatomy courses. On top of all this I had to deal with the death of my aunt who had come from **** for her cancer treatment at ********. On top of the emotional drain, I was making frequent weekend visits to ******** when I could have been studying. In retrospect, I should have reached out for help from the administration much earlier, but I was young and naïve and thought I could handle it alone.
By the second semester of first year I was finding my stride and did much better in all my classes, ultimately honoring my remediation in neurobiology. This semester was more indicative of what I can do and suggests that if I am given a chance to redeem myself, I will more than rise up to the occasion. [This paragraph needs more about your stellar grades from this semester. If you just barely passed again, maybe cut it entirely]
I felt ready for second year and was not going to let one failure hurt my confidence that I could still do well in medical school. However my performance second year turned out to be completely unacceptable for a number of reasons I would like to expound on now.
While I did not recognize it at the time, upon consultation with mental health professionals I have realized that in retrospect I was not myself for the vast majority of second year. I recently reached out to a psychiatrist, Dr. Jane Doe, MD, who feels that I may have been suffering from depression. I have attached a note from her with her clinical findings and assessment, but would like to offer my own perspective as well. The past year began with an overwhelming sense of loneliness after the loss of a relationship, compounded by the fact that the strong social support system I had first year shrunk considerably after most of my college friends moved out of the area. I believe this may have triggered the depression my psychiatrist now suspects I experienced.
In retrospect the signs were clear – while I didn’t necessarily feel hopeless, I completely lost interest in things I once enjoyed: lifting, music, watching T.V., cooking, or even hanging out with friends. I couldn’t understand why I suddenly lost the motivation to make any sort of social contact in my day, despite my overwhelming sense of loneliness. My weeks consisted of spending all day alone in my studio apartment studying but without the kind of concentration I needed to really learn the material thoroughly. My sleep quality started to really suffer for even though I was exhausted I could not fall asleep and would wake up several times during the night. This lead to further exhaustion and exacerbated my lack of motivation.
One of the reasons I believe I was successful my second semester of first year was because I made it a point to study in groups. However, when second year started I was unable to initially study in the groups I had forged last year because my colleagues were adjusting to second year and our schedules were totally different. I wish I had made it a point to reestablish this group studying strategy that had worked so well for me in the past, but as I got used to being alone and further sunk into my solitary apathy, I came to accept it as the lifestyle of a second year medical student without realizing how unhealthy my life was becoming.
The combination of depression and stress from schoolwork lead to anxiety. I started feeling overwhelming test anxiety that I never experienced my first year, and it got to a point where I wouldn’t even check my answers because of how bad I wanted to leave the testing room. Tests started to become a mind game where I would get stumped on questions that I knew I had studied but just could not retrieve the necessary fact from my memory. This led to fits of near breathlessness and racing heartbeat that only worsened my concentration.
Testing anxiety along with inadequate preparation may have been what caused me to do so poorly on my two ******** exams this year. This led to my failing grade in **********, a class that I had not had any trouble with my first year. I wish I had recognized just how much I was losing my grip this year, but I have never suffered from depression or anxiety before. I assumed that what I was feeling was simply burnout that was similar to what all my classmates were going through.
The ordeal of facing dismissal has been devastatingly stressful, but I truly believe that it has made me a stronger and more mature person. This has been a humbling experience which has taught me a valuable life lesson. In spite of my current situation, my feelings of depression feel considerably better and I am once again feeling a joy for life and reconnecting with neglected friends.
I genuinely believe that since the problem has been identified I will be ready to tackle the upcoming term by continuing my current treatment regimen. Since the initial consultation with Dr. Doe in April, I have been taking medication to treat my depression and prevent another episode from recurring. On her advice, I have also started therapy with Dr. John Smith, PhD, a clinical psychologist whose note and assessment are also attached to this letter. I believe this combination treatment is what has helped me feel almost completely like myself again. I know I will be ready by the time the semester restarts and will my treatment during the semester as well.
In addition to receiving treatment for my depression, I have worked with Dr. Tutoring Service and Dr. Student Affairs to devise a plan that insures my success both this year and in the future. I would like to briefly enumerate the points of this plan.
First, I have already reached out to a group of rising second year students in my building who have agreed to allow me to study in their group, knowing full well that this tactic will help me succeed both academically and psychologically. Group study was a substantial reason behind my success during the second half of last year and I wish I had continued it this year.
Secondly, I have identified a well-reputed course designed for repeating medical students that will help me further refine my academic study skills. The name of the course is Operaman’s Med School Bootcamp and it is located in Boston, MA. I have already reserved a place for the session beginning on July 15, 2014, and believe this will help me develop the skills needed for success going forward.
Third, in consultation with my psychiatric treatment team and Dr. Student Affairs, I have devised a plan for time management that will help me maintain both my physical and mental health through he rigors of medical school. Our belief is that this, in conjunction with medical treatment and the plans listed above, will give me the best possible chance for success.
Most importantly, I have learned not only to recognize the signs of depression and anxiety in myself, but also to reach out for help. As someone who has always derived so much self identity from his ability to succeed academically and handle stress well, admitting that I needed help was incredibly difficult, and I regret that it took something as extreme as academic failure to make me realize it.
I understand that on the surface my past performance does not merit another chance, and that the school would be well within its rights to dismiss me from the program. I also know that ******** saw something in me five years ago, and I assure you that whatever it was, it has not vanished into thin air. It is with the deepest humility and an earnest commitment to do better that I ask you to consider my appeal for reinstatement.
Thank you,
Stuff I cut out; put back in if you and your advisors at school think it’s a good idea:
For example, ******** alone was worth *** credits but there were only two and a half sections in the entire year that I did not pass, and in the case of both the ****** and ****** sections I missed the cut-off by a single question. And the night before the ****** section I contracted gastroenteritis and alternated between vomiting and diarrhea the whole night. When I called Dean ****** the morning of the test I was given the option to either obtain a doctor’s note and take the test the next day or to take it at 12:30. While hindsight is 20/20 I chose the latter option and this was probably the wrong call because I was still very feverish at the time.
Cut out a lot of your depressive stuff since those should be in the note from your psychiatrist. Otherwise, it reads like someone who googled symptoms of depression and wrote a story to fit all of them
