Serious concern about differences in secondary apps

[esternon]

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For the past couple months, I've had conflicted thoughts about coming out as bisexual. I grew up in a very conservative and religious home, and I would fear that I will upset my family. I know our country has come a long way with LGBTQ rights, but that doesn't mean people don't still have their prejudices. My dad once said that a homosexual person can never live a happy life because they will constantly hate himself/herself for not being able to live a normal life. I definitely don't agree with this, but I try not to argue too much with my parents. I understand that they grew up in a different time period with different perspectives.

I have told a few people about being bisexual, but I'm conflicted because I don't want to be defined by labeling myself by my sexuality. On the other hand, I think it's important for people to recognize that being gay isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Now that you have some background, here's my dilemma: I have marked on some secondary applications about being bisexual. I even described some of the things I mentioned above in my diversity essay. However, on some applications I marked either heterosexual or nothing at all because began to think that maybe I shouldn't come out of the closet for fear of what others may think. Part of my wonders why it's any of their business what my sexual orientation is, but another part of my feels that sexual orientation is nothing to be ashamed of and that it should be represented on the application...

Should I be worried that there are differences on my secondary applications regarding my sexual orientation?Only a handful of the schools I applied to even ask the question. Are medical schools even allowed to share information with each other regarding the secondary application information? If there is an issue, I'm guessing the best think to do would be for me to explain my situation and conflicted feelings about coming out of the closet.

Sorry for the long post - This has been a very difficult time for me.

 

[NimbleNavigator]

I think you're fine but honestly I think it's pretty BS how schools even ask this. Seems pretty personal, and I definitely felt very uncomfortable when I filled it out.

What are they going to ask next? How many people we've slept with? Penis size?

 

[peridotthecat]

Schools don't share secondary responses with each other, and they definitely don't compare notes on candidates' sexual orientations. I wouldn't worry about it. Even if they did somehow find out, this isn't something that should cause problems. It's not as if you made up hours for an EC--coming out is very personal and complicated, and people's own identification of their orientations can change over time.

Feel free to PM me if you want! I'm also bi and going through the app process this year.

 

[peridotthecat]

I think you're fine but honestly I think it's pretty BS how schools even ask this. Seems pretty personal, and I definitely felt very uncomfortable when I filled it out.

What are they going to ask next? How many people we've slept with? Penis size?

It can be very personal, but for a lot of people it's also something that impacts our lives and especially our medical care in ways that go beyond what happens in the bedroom. I understand feeling uncomfortable answering it (and at least for the secondaries I filled out, there was usually an option to leave the question blank, as there should be), but it's not as if it's entirely irrelevant to medicine.

At least one school also said that the checkbox wasn't seen by the adcom but was used only for demographics or to send you info about LGBT stuff on campus if you end up matriculating.

 

[esternon]

Thanks guys! I appreciate your responses. I feel a little better now. I definitely agree that asking about sexual orientation is uncomfortable, but at the same time, I can see why it might be relevant in certain aspects of healthcare.

 

[NimbleNavigator]

You know what I just thought of? What if you got an email from one of the med schools you applied to with the title you used for this thread?

IE -
Title: Serious concern about differences in secondary apps
From: NYU Langone Admissions

LOL I bet you'd be freaking out right now

 

[esternon]

You know what I just thought of? What if you got an email from one of the med schools you applied to with the title you used for this thread?

IE -
Title: Serious concern about differences in secondary apps
From: NYU Langone Admissions

LOL I bet you'd be freaking out right now

Wow, what a troll move. If that ever did happen, I'm hoping they would be pretty understanding.

 

[mistafab]

OP - your sexual orientation is your business. If you want to disclose it, it is up to you. No school is going to chastise you for these disclosures. Are there biases, recognized and not, that come with identification with certain groups? Sure. These are the things that are going to be in your life forever though, so long as you remain bi-sexual. I feel like this could be really difficult - hopefully it gets easier for your over time. Best of luck on your travels.