Seriousely doubting my abilities, please help

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medjon01

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hi. i am writing and am in need of some type of honesty, encouragement, advice, or whatnot.
About Me: i'm a 23 yr old male, got a BSN (nursing) at a good private university. i decided that i need to do what i really want to do, which is not nursing, but be a doctor. kinda late i know, but better late than never. my father is a doctor (MD) and i've been around him all my life following him around. and i've worked in the hospital as a nurses aid and lab asst for 4 years now. i am a pre-medical student now (just getting the basic reqs done) and have no preference if i'm an MD or DO, a doctor is a doctor. and i wrote on the DO forum because from what i've read, the ppl here are more friendlier and can probably relate more than the other forums. and DO actually does interest me more and allows me to do something different than my dad and working together would be a great combo.

My Problem: i am questioning my abilities...i don't know if i'm cut out to be a physician. i'm not in it for the money, but to be honest, i like the independence and medicine interests me, i can't see myself doing anything else. i know what i'm getting into.
i don't want sound like one of those people who posts the 'i have a 3.3 gpa and 24 mcat can i get in!?' or 'whats the worst i can do and still get in?!' or in other words, i don't want to 'barely get in'... i want to know that i got in because i damn well deserve it and am ready as ever to carry on with my medical education. it's hard to explain...

however, my grades for the pre req classes aren't good, and i just feel inferior to everyone else in my classes. i know a lot about the health field too, it's just my grades. at undergrad, they were good: a 3.5 gpa with good hospital experience and volunteer experience. i got A's in anatomy and physiology I and II and got B's in microbiology and pathophysiology. but last year i just took two classes: physics and chemistry to start fullfilling my pre reqs for medical school. first semester i got a B+ and B, respectively. next semester i got a B and C+, respectivel (fyi, my first C). i didn't work a job either, i just took only these 2 classes and i still did poor. i was often disinterested in the material and found myself depressed at times. i even saw a pychiatrist and was prescribed prozac. but all it did was interfere with my memory. i'm off it now. i know i don't need meds. i just need some type of hope or inspiration and a change in attitude i suppose. i don't believe in myself. and in a field like this, i need to be honest with myself because other peoples lives are at stake. if i am pulling these type of grades in these classes and i tried my best, it really knocks your esteem down and makes you question if you're in the right field. plus just feeling inferior to other pre med students is not the right type of mindset to have for such a field, you simply won't survive.

i know many of you have questioned yourself, if not everyone, please feel free to share stories/offer advice.
thanks,
jon
 
medjon01 said:
hi. i am writing and am in need of some type of honesty, encouragement, advice, or whatnot.
About Me: i'm a 23 yr old male, got a BSN (nursing) at a good private university. i decided that i need to do what i really want to do, which is not nursing, but be a doctor. kinda late i know, but better late than never. my father is a doctor (MD) and i've been around him all my life following him around. and i've worked in the hospital as a nurses aid and lab asst for 4 years now. i am a pre-medical student now (just getting the basic reqs done) and have no preference if i'm an MD or DO, a doctor is a doctor. and i wrote on the DO forum because from what i've read, the ppl here are more friendlier and can probably relate more than the other forums. and DO actually does interest me more and allows me to do something different than my dad and working together would be a great combo.

My Problem: i am questioning my abilities...i don't know if i'm cut out to be a physician. i'm not in it for the money, but to be honest, i like the independence and medicine interests me, i can't see myself doing anything else. i know what i'm getting into.
i don't want sound like one of those people who posts the 'i have a 3.3 gpa and 24 mcat can i get in!?' or 'whats the worst i can do and still get in?!' or in other words, i don't want to 'barely get in'... i want to know that i got in because i damn well deserve it and am ready as ever to carry on with my medical education. it's hard to explain...

however, my grades for the pre req classes aren't good, and i just feel inferior to everyone else in my classes. i know a lot about the health field too, it's just my grades. at undergrad, they were good: a 3.5 gpa with good hospital experience and volunteer experience. i got A's in anatomy and physiology I and II and got B's in microbiology and pathophysiology. but last year i just took two classes: physics and chemistry to start fullfilling my pre reqs for medical school. first semester i got a B+ and B, respectively. next semester i got a B and C+, respectivel (fyi, my first C). i didn't work a job either, i just took only these 2 classes and i still did poor. i was often disinterested in the material and found myself depressed at times. i even saw a pychiatrist and was prescribed prozac. but all it did was interfere with my memory. i'm off it now. i know i don't need meds. i just need some type of hope or inspiration and a change in attitude i suppose. i don't believe in myself. and in a field like this, i need to be honest with myself because other peoples lives are at stake. if i am pulling these type of grades in these classes and i tried my best, it really knocks your esteem down and makes you question if you're in the right field. plus just feeling inferior to other pre med students is not the right type of mindset to have for such a field, you simply won't survive.

i know many of you have questioned yourself, if not everyone, please feel free to share stories/offer advice.
thanks,
jon
Click to expand...



JOn many of us have had our periods of self-doubt. Do some serious soul searching, if you believe in God seek its higher power. Anchor yourself emotionally and make the best decision for your circumstances. Whatever you do, do not let the current status of your feelings hold you back from living your live.


God bless you - best wishes!
 
You need to just calm down and focus. With a 24 you can still get accepted to a DO school. But you need to up your GPA with a 24 on your MCAT. It needs to be in the 3.7 -3.8 overall GPA and near a 3.5-3.6 science GPA. I would recommend taking a bunch of 100 level courses in many different fields. These courses are usually easy and can help you boost your overall GPA. It will also be able to show the ADCOM's that you are a well rounded applicant. Again ask around for good professor's. That can make a difference between a C or an A. To boost your science GPA take more sciences. I believe in you and I hope that you believe in yourself. If you believe that medicine is your life's calling you will do what ever it takes. You seem like a smart person don't let one C get you down. I had that in one of my preq's as well and I was a accepted with a similar MCAT. I hope you are accepted in the school of your choice. Good Luck!!!:luck::luck::luck:
 
I'll be honest with you. You still have some growing up to do. You sound like me about 18 months ago. That's okay, I was 23 then, too. You're not too old.

And now the arrogant part. I'm probably in the top 4 smartest people I know. But I'm scared sh*tless to take Physics II, and I'm worried that Calc I won't transfer to my new school. I can't do math, it's not one of my gifts. I hate it with every fiber of my being. But I won't let it stop me.

You've got what matters, and you can do it. You just need to get out of your own way, first. I don't believe you really tried. Did you seek extra help? Did you get a tutor? Did you go to Every Single Office Hour you could? Or did you go it alone?

You seem like an introspective person. Like me. Sometimes introspective people have trouble looking and reaching for help outside themselves. Myself included.

Chemistry and physics won't matter as soon as you get them out of the way. Shoot for B's if you have to. Being good at, and understanding physiology and all of its child subjects (which is basically your first two years of med school) has nothing to do with being good at hard science. The hard sciences serve as a crude vehicle to weed out the wheat from the chaff, and to serve as a very basic foundation for pharmacology and other subjects that you will encounter later on. Really the only hard science that's worth a damn is organic chemistry. In my opinion, of course.

Take organic if you haven't already. I hated gen chem, but organic has a strange sort of beauty to it. And almost from the get-go, you can see maybe not WHERE it might be useful to know, but you can at least see the glimmer of HOW it might be useful. And that's a pretty cool thing.
 
I know lots of people! (on the Internet)
 
Jon,
I got off to a rocky start my first two years of undergrad. I failed general chem., retook it and got a B; got a C in gen. chem. 2; and got a C and B in my math classes. Later I got As in my bio and o. chem. courses. Everyone has their strong suit. I'm guessing yours is the clinical care of patients (with your nursing background and all). One of the many good aspects of osteopathy is that the application process considers more than just your grades.

As for the other pre-meds...My undergraduate institution was crammed with pre-meds and I felt very inferior and sort of pushed out of the circle. I found a lot of my fellow premeds vindictive and overly competitive (ruining others' lab work and cheating on exams). This sort of spoiled it for me...are these the people we'll be working with in the future? Anywho, I found the more detached I became from the pre-med community at my school, the more confident I became in myself. Instead, I surround myself with the D.O. pre-meds on SDN -- very supportive and have similar goals. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hermit in my room on my computer all the time.

Okay, after skirting-around the issue, I'll say it. You know you want to be a doctor. So do whatever it takes to make it happen (sans cheating and hurting people 😛 ) For me this meant giving myself constant reminders of the ultimate goal (DO shadowing and clinic hours helped here); surrounding myself with positive influences, getting a tutor once in a while and drinking coffee. Your previous GPA of 3.5 shows you can do it, just restore that self-confidence.

Anywho, I sound way too Pollyanna and optimistic. Good luck.
 
Dustbunny said:
I'll be honest with you. You still have some growing up to do. You sound like me about 18 months ago. That's okay, I was 23 then, too. You're not too old.

And now the arrogant part. I'm probably in the top 4 smartest people I know. But I'm scared sh*tless to take Physics II, and I'm worried that Calc I won't transfer to my new school. I can't do math, it's not one of my gifts. I hate it with every fiber of my being. But I won't let it stop me.

You've got what matters, and you can do it. You just need to get out of your own way, first. I don't believe you really tried. Did you seek extra help? Did you get a tutor? Did you go to Every Single Office Hour you could? Or did you go it alone?

You seem like an introspective person. Like me. Sometimes introspective people have trouble looking and reaching for help outside themselves. Myself included.

Chemistry and physics won't matter as soon as you get them out of the way. Shoot for B's if you have to. Being good at, and understanding physiology and all of its child subjects (which is basically your first two years of med school) has nothing to do with being good at hard science. The hard sciences serve as a crude vehicle to weed out the wheat from the chaff, and to serve as a very basic foundation for pharmacology and other subjects that you will encounter later on. Really the only hard science that's worth a damn is organic chemistry. In my opinion, of course.

Take organic if you haven't already. I hated gen chem, but organic has a strange sort of beauty to it. And almost from the get-go, you can see maybe not WHERE it might be useful to know, but you can at least see the glimmer of HOW it might be useful. And that's a pretty cool thing.
Click to expand...

Punchap, thanks for the advice. however, that was you first years of undergrad where you pulled those bad grades. i have already graduated and it is time to prove to myself i'm ready at this age and level of education. and i feel i'm blowing it.

Dustbunny, you are absolutely correct and it's amazing how much info you gathered about me by my one post. as you said, you used to be like this to a degree so i'm glad you replied. i 100% agree, i DO need to mature, i tell this to myself all the time, start taking responsibilities. i guess i'm just scared sh*tless, the real world, peoples lives in my hands in the future, etc.

again, you are correct, i hardly put in an effort i should have. granted i studied my ass off on my own time a LOT. but i hardly went to class, never went to office hours, not even tutoring. i am an introvert, and just didnt want to be around people i guess? the friends and people i was with were the so called 'gunners'. i often was bothered by these pretentious, arrogant, 'willing to kill for admission to med school' type people. i simply wasn't adjusting to the new location either, was away from family and my girlfriend, and i was depressed and anxious a majority of the time. and THIS is what is why i'm so down on myself, even with these adversities, i feel that to survive as a doctor i can't be like this and i consider myself a weak person. i need to change, and trust me, i am trying, but am not sure if it'll happen. i'm pretty hard and demanding of myself, and am not that great a test taker and don't have that good a memory either which scares me. granted i did well in undergrad, hell i even graduated second in my high school class (however, small public school, i was a big fish in a small pond), but when i'm up with the big dogs in the big leagues it's just a rude awakening and feel i can't handle it.

i have a good heart and my father tells me i would be an incredible doctor. and he means it 100%. and right now i work with my father and enjoy helping him out and attempting to make diagnoses. but understand this, there is a part of me which is so fearful, so afraid of failing, because here i am helping him out and telling him and everyone else i'm going to go to med school, and i'm questioning if i am even capable of such, i don't believe i am, atleast not now. and as you can tell from my posts, i am not mentally fit for med school. and even though i'm good with people/patients, that doesn't make up for poor medical knowledge and instability.

anyways sorry to rant, thanks for reading.

-jon

btw, are any of you actually accepted in med school yet or how are things going?
 
medjon01 said:
hi. i am writing and am in need of some type of honesty, encouragement, advice, or whatnot.
About Me: i'm a 23 yr old male, got a BSN (nursing) at a good private university. i decided that i need to do what i really want to do, which is not nursing, but be a doctor. kinda late i know, but better late than never. my father is a doctor (MD) and i've been around him all my life following him around. and i've worked in the hospital as a nurses aid and lab asst for 4 years now. i am a pre-medical student now (just getting the basic reqs done) and have no preference if i'm an MD or DO, a doctor is a doctor. and i wrote on the DO forum because from what i've read, the ppl here are more friendlier and can probably relate more than the other forums. and DO actually does interest me more and allows me to do something different than my dad and working together would be a great combo.

My Problem: i am questioning my abilities...i don't know if i'm cut out to be a physician. i'm not in it for the money, but to be honest, i like the independence and medicine interests me, i can't see myself doing anything else. i know what i'm getting into.
i don't want sound like one of those people who posts the 'i have a 3.3 gpa and 24 mcat can i get in!?' or 'whats the worst i can do and still get in?!' or in other words, i don't want to 'barely get in'... i want to know that i got in because i damn well deserve it and am ready as ever to carry on with my medical education. it's hard to explain...

however, my grades for the pre req classes aren't good, and i just feel inferior to everyone else in my classes. i know a lot about the health field too, it's just my grades. at undergrad, they were good: a 3.5 gpa with good hospital experience and volunteer experience. i got A's in anatomy and physiology I and II and got B's in microbiology and pathophysiology. but last year i just took two classes: physics and chemistry to start fullfilling my pre reqs for medical school. first semester i got a B+ and B, respectively. next semester i got a B and C+, respectivel (fyi, my first C). i didn't work a job either, i just took only these 2 classes and i still did poor. i was often disinterested in the material and found myself depressed at times. i even saw a pychiatrist and was prescribed prozac. but all it did was interfere with my memory. i'm off it now. i know i don't need meds. i just need some type of hope or inspiration and a change in attitude i suppose. i don't believe in myself. and in a field like this, i need to be honest with myself because other peoples lives are at stake. if i am pulling these type of grades in these classes and i tried my best, it really knocks your esteem down and makes you question if you're in the right field. plus just feeling inferior to other pre med students is not the right type of mindset to have for such a field, you simply won't survive.

i know many of you have questioned yourself, if not everyone, please feel free to share stories/offer advice.
thanks,
jon
Click to expand...


If you get into medical school it is because you have earned it. People on the waitlist are probably just as qualified as anyone else there may have just been something they liked about another person and gave them first choice. Again, if you get in it is because that school wants you there.
 
medjon01 said:
...i just took only these 2 classes and i still did poor. i was often disinterested in the material and found myself depressed at times. i even saw a pychiatrist and was prescribed prozac. but all it did was interfere with my memory. i'm off it now. i know i don't need meds. i just need some type of hope or inspiration and a change in attitude...
Click to expand...

It sounds like a much bigger problem than you are letting on about. In the real world you're much more likely to get kicked in the face over and over than find a good cheerleader to motivate you. The most basic part of those people who succeed in getting into medical school is that they want it soooo bad that they won't let anything get in the way. They take beatings and keep going. They are intrinsically motivated by the need be become a physician.

Maybe you just need to take some time off from it all and fix the personal things in your life. It sounds like theye are causing you to fail. Lots of people aren't starting med school until there 30's and 40's now. There's plenty of time left in your life. You've gotta get everything else right first.
 
scpod said:
Maybe you just need to take some time off from it all and fix the personal things in your life.
Click to expand...

I agree with taking some time. Being uninterested in subjects makes it tough to do well. The basic fact is you need to do well in these subjects. If you did well in all of your earlier classes, you really should be able to force yourself into doing well now. I know gen chem is the pits, physics two is worse, but everyone has to take them. Take some time and figure out why you can't really motivate yourself. I doubt it's that you lack the ability for these subjects.
 
Admissions advice can only begin with an MCAT score. If you do well on it, you will get in someplace regardless of your grades. As far as your ability goes, hard work trumps all.

From here on out, I reserve the right to use +pissed+ whenever I hear somebody say that 23 is too old to consider going into medicine.
 
jon,
i have felt like you in many ways. let me say this, anyone who says they never questioned their abilities is lying. it's incredibly difficult, and there is a point where we all just say "what have i got myself into?" or "i'm not cut out for this!", but the difference between success and failure, happiness and sadness, and doctor and not a doctor, is if you can overcome those hurdles.

we all know someone who mastered the intricacies of high school or college life but failed miserably in the 'real world.' you seem to be a genuine person with great potential, but you just don't believe in yourself. noone on this forum can make you do that. you can study all the mcat books, have all the hospital experience you want, do post bac programs and special masters programs and apply to all the MD/DO schools, but you gotta believe in yourself and have a passion. don't master the warm ups and lose the competition jon....think about it.
 
DrBowtie said:
That means they are the 4th smartest person they know.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I get it. But it's analogous to saying that I'm probably in the Top 22 smartest people I know.

I guess I didn't realize that people kept that close of tabs on people so that they could accurately rank themselves among others.
 
It'sElectric said:
Yeah, I get it. But it's analogous to saying that I'm probably in the Top 22 smartest people I know.
I guess I didn't realize that people kept that close of tabs on people so that they could accurately rank themselves among others.
Click to expand...

I actually keep a running tab of the smartest people I know.
I sit down once a week to rank them.
When they ask, though, I don't tell them what their ranking is; I can, however, describe what tier they're in - top 1/3rd, middle 1/3rd, or bottom 1/3rd.
For the most part, the rankings don't change very much, but that varies from year to year. Some years, I get to know a lot of new people, and other years there is almost no movement in tiers.

Good luck, and I hope you find out soon where you stand.
 
I think most applicants have been there and felt similar. But you'll never know unless you try. If you know a physician, medical professor, or premed advisor, start talking to one so they can identify early on what weaknesses you might have in your apps...that way you can work on it and improve your chances as much as possible.
 
It'sElectric said:
Yeah, I get it. But it's analogous to saying that I'm probably in the Top 22 smartest people I know.

I guess I didn't realize that people kept that close of tabs on people so that they could accurately rank themselves among others.
Click to expand...
You don't??! I keep an excel spreadsheet 😉
 
DrBowtie said:
You don't??! I keep an excel spreadsheet 😉
Click to expand...

Im not that fancy. I just keep a mental note of everyone I come across.

Just in reading through this thread I see that I have jumped up at least 10 spots in the World Intelligence Rank
 
StringerBell said:
I actually keep a running tab of the smartest people I know.
I sit down once a week to rank them.
When they ask, though, I don't tell them what their ranking is; I can, however, describe what tier they're in - top 1/3rd, middle 1/3rd, or bottom 1/3rd.
For the most part, the rankings don't change very much, but that varies from year to year. Some years, I get to know a lot of new people, and other years there is almost no movement in tiers.

Good luck, and I hope you find out soon where you stand.
Click to expand...

Damn. I'm so far behind. I'm almost certain I've met at least a few thousand people that I'm smarter than. Unfortunately, I have no verifiable proof.

I like the tier system. It's nice and neat and allows room for adjustments to be made on a fairly regular basis. I'm thinking I'll adopt it.
 
MaximusD said:
This sucks... I am constantly running across people who seem smarter than me... 🙁
Click to expand...

It must be because you're on SDN.
There are entirely too many brilliant people here.

By the way, do you think I can get a large copy of your avatar? I find it, and the story behind it, endearing. But it's so small that I can barely read "Ucariote." 😉
 
Is it possible that when you have too little to do you do worse? Two courses doesn't seem like a lot, especially when you're not doing anything else. People who are really smart sometimes can bore easily, so maybe you weren't challenging yourself enough... and maybe you weren't challenging yourself because you didn't have enough faith in yourself to handle a challenge. It's just a thought... I've found that to be the case for myself (but have since corrected that error in judgment).

You also said that you tried your hardest, but also said that you were disinterested in your classes and sort of depressed. I wouldn't call that doing your best. I don't know you personally to tell you why you are holding yourself back, but you find that somewhere inside of yourself you are telling yourself that you don't deserve this (a shot at medical school) or that you cannot attain your goals, then maybe if you think of going to medical school as doing for others it will help motivate you. If you are the kind of person who won't do for yourself, but will do for others, you can find motivation in thinking this way. Remember that you don't want to go into medicine for the money, and that you are compassionate and would make a great doctor and you owe that to your future patients, and you owe them a doctor who did his/her best in medical school and learned everything there was to know in order to treat them properly. Good luck.
 
It's more like of all the people that I know that am close to, I'd only consider three of them to be "smarter" than me. By close to, I mean friends with, or very close acquaintances. Maybe. Who knows. Not that it really matters, because it's what you do with your brain that matters, not its potential. And by that metric, I'm in the bottom quartile. :laugh:

It's more like when you meet someone and get to know them, and you think to yourself "Wow. This person is really smart." There are lots of people I think are probably smarter than me. Lots. It's not like a ranking system. 🙄
 
OP,

go for it man. I had worse numbers than you and I got in. self doubt kinda comes with the territory because its such a monumental challenge. time to start climbing that mountain, and when you get to the top of that one, climb the next one. good luck
 
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