A Cynic's view of shadowing(Credit to SDNer Gnome, but with minor editing) :
You know shadowing is one of the unwritten requirements to get into medical school... but it's so vague! How much should you shadow? What specialties? What do you need to do? The pre-medical mind revolts at this lack of a well-defined track. Well, be paralyzed with concern no longer: with Gnomes' Shadowing Checklist, the planning and execution of comprehensive and balanced shadowing experience is as easy as simple addition! Just keep shadowing until you accumulate enough points in each section, and that thick envelope is as good as yours.*
Section I: Kinds of Doctors to Shadow (4 pts)
(2 pt) Whatever kind of primary care specialty you can best pretend to be interested in.
(1 pt) Academic physician, any specialty.
(1 pt) Whatever specialty you are actually interested in at this minute.
(1 pt) A surgeon of any kind. (Ophthalmologists and Mohs surgeons do not count.)
(0 pts) Radiologist, pathologist, or other specialist who is not in the same room with the patient.
(-1 pt) Plastic surgeon, dermatologist, or other frivolous, well-compensated specialist.
(1 pt) Any one doctor for more than 40 hours total.
Section II: Events to Observe (6 pts)
(1 pt) CODE BLUE! (2 pts if the code was actually called for logistical reasons. -4 pts if you
caused the code.)
(2 pt) Doctor telling a tearful relative "There's nothing more we can do."; (Note: a tactful pre-med will wait until out of the family's sight to check off this list item.)
(1 pt) Surgery, or procedure by medicine sub-specialist wearing scrubs. (Repeatable, max 4 pts.)
(1 pt) Clinic day. (Repeatable, max 4 pts.)
(1 pt) Rounds. (Repeatable, max 4 pts.)
(1 pt) Grand rounds or conference. (2 pts for transplant selection meeting or similar.)
Section III: Kinds of Patients to See (4 pts)
(1 pt): Drug-seeker. (2 pts if a legitimately painful organic disease complicates things.)
(1 pt): Person on welfare with # of progeny / # of teeth ratio in excess of unity.
(1 pt): Patient with self-inflicted disease. (2 pts if it can be blamed on society or membership in underserved community in your personal statement.
(2 pts): Any malingerer who is not specifically a drug-seeker.
(1 pt): Floridly psychotic patient.
(3 pts): Indigent patient with a medical problem that is in no way their fault, who is a victim of the backward American insurance system. Great personal statement fodder.
(2 pts): 90 y/o demented patient who is full code.
(1 pt): Belligerent, drunken person. (2 pts if he verbally abuses you personally.)
(1 pt): Patient with BMI > 40 and obesity-related disease.
Section IV: Characters from the House of God to Meet while Shadowing (3 pts)
(1 pt): Cynical but ultimately caring resident or fellow. (2 pts for GI fellow; 3 pts if also high BMI.)
(1 pt): Overworked intern at the end of his or her rope.
(1 pt): Philosophical non-physician. (2 pts for a police officer, guard or orderly; 3 pts if Irish.)
(1 pt): A Yellow Man. (No, jaundiced only).
(1 pt): Little old lady in no apparent distress.
(1 pt): Intern who precipitates an Ortho Service transfer by lowering the bed rails.
Section V: Activities to Do (0 pts)
(1 pt): Being splashed with any bodily fluid or other unpleasant substance.
(1 pt): Asking a question. (-1 pt if you asked "Do you think she has lung cancer?" in front of the patient. -2 pts if you were correct.)
(-1 pt): Asking a question based on partial understanding of a textbook you secretly consulted while studying for your shadowing experience. Wait, you studied for shadowing? Oy.
(1 pt): Being mistaken for a medical student through no fault of your own. (2 pts if it lead to being pimped. No, you don't get extra points if you knew the correct answer.)
(-10 pts): Being mistaken for a doctor because you wore a white coat. Tool.
(1 pt): Taking any kind of HIPAA training.
(1 pt): Going to lunch with the doctor. (2 pts if lunch is an energy bar eaten hurriedly while on the way to a midday conference.)
(-1 pt): Following the doctor to the bathroom. (-2 pts if different gender.)
(-2 pts): Following the doctor to the parking lot to assess his or her choice of vehicle.
(-3 pts): Following the doctor home to assess lifestyle of his or her specialty.
(1 pt): Discussing malpractice concerns with the doctor. (-2 points if you make the doctor cry.)
(1 pt): Starting a discussion about medical ethics in the workroom. (2 pts for causing a heated argument over the issue between at least two people not including yourself.)
Section VI: Places at which to Shadow (3 pts)
(1 pt): Private practice
(1 pt): Academic medical center
(1 pt): Inner-city hospital. (2 pts if you shadow in the Emergency Department.)
(2 pts): Free clinic.
Section VII: Diseases, Symptoms and Unpleasant Procedures to See (5 pts)
(1 pt): Anything that smells really bad. (No points if you barfed or ran from the room.)
(1 pt): Colonoscopy. (2 pts if prep was lousy.)
(1 pt): Any deformity. (2 pts if hideous.)
(1 pt): Blood, not in vial or bag. (2 pts if emitted from the alimentary canal.)
(2 pts): Code Brown.
(1 pt): 10/10 pain. (2 pts if 11/10 or greater and "allergic" to all non-narcotic analgesics.)
(0 pts): Adorable child with minor, self-limiting cold.
(1 pt): Any disease presently fashionable with celebrities.
(1 pt): Any poor people disease that can be discussed empathetically in your personal statement.
(1 pt): A delivery. (Of an infant, not pizza.)
YOUR TOTAL SCORE: ____ points.
0-14 I hope you like tropical islands...
15-24 Shadow more. Don't waste time on SDN, start bothering doctors now!
25-35 You're golden.
36+ Better to stop shadowing - you might become prematurely cynical.
*Warranty void in California or in the absence of 40+ MCAT, 3.9+ GPA, glowing letters of recommendation from Nobelprize winning physician-scientists, and over nine thousand hours of reasonably convincing simulations of altruism.
