Medical Should I discuss past family member abuse in adversity essay?

[Goro]

In writing secondaries, I've come across two flavors of the challenge essay: stressful situations, and adversity.

I approach stressful situation essays with a piece about a work issue that many people have read and helped me polish up. However, I am struggling when schools specifically ask for "adversity" as opposed to a difficult situation.

My idea:
I had a close family member that was often verbally abusive when I was little. In the essay, I avoid the phrase "verbal abuse" and simply describe the situation in one/two sentences. I flow into lessons learned, and how today I emphasize and treasure respectful communication. Some versions/drafts mention developing assertiveness through briefly working with a therapist. The essay focuses on how I've come to value respect and compassion as a result of these experiences, and I connect it to my desire to serve others with compassion through medicine. I also explain how this has positively benefitted me in working with patients, coworkers, etc.

I'm nervous this is too personal and will serve as a red flag. I also grew up with social and economic privilege which is evident in my application, so I also don't want this to sound contrived or out-of-place. My sister (undergraduate) and friend (med student) both like the essay. For some reason, it still makes me nervous.

Are these concerns valid? Would a less-close-to-home essay be more appropriate?

The trouble with answers like these is that they usually come across as throwing family members under the bus, or vehicles for catharsis, rather than displays of your grit and coping skills.

Better to stick with events in your adult life.

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[TheBoneDoctah]

I don't think this really answers the prompt. You are saying "when you were little." The essay is supposed to be about how you overcame some hardship or adversity and have gotten through it with grit to still become successful.

Try to dig deep and come up with something that fits the essay prompt better. You can use the experience you stated above somewhere else in your application.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

I know you are using generalities so advice is limited. That said are you the target of the abuse? How long had that been going on? If the answer is that you experienced this for years, it's adversity. If it was once at a dinner, that's a situation. So you may characterize your adversity through observation of many situations where you had little power or control. Does this help?

 

[tantacles]

Thank you all for your input and advice, it has been really helpful in reflecting on what I've written. I've also found myself brainstorming some other ideas for addressing this essay prompt, and thinking in terms of "grit" has helped a lot.

To answer the questions, I was often the target, it occurred frequently, and this lasted from childhood through high school. People outside my family knew about the situation, but I didn't tell my friends and avoided having them over. I fully reflected on and addressed these situations in college when I was away from home. I believe characterizing this as an observation of many times where I had little control is accurate, so that may help frame my ideas if I stick with this topic.

I actually don't mind the topic itself. I think if you write it the right way, it could be meaningful and be looked at positively. The problem I'm having is that I couldn't personally write this essay well, so I'm having trouble seeing how someone else could. If you are an amazing writer, I think this could go well for you.