Should I feel like I suck at my job?

[clinicalscience808]

I've been working at a clinic now for 3-4 months and just had my probationary review over the phone with the clinic owner who is never really at the clinic. I work at a vet assistant/tech/receptionist and there are 2 doctors, 1 tech, and 1 receptionist on staff besides me. Because of my position, I am really under the supervision and direction of everyone else there. In my review, my boss said that I rated myself higher than my coworkers/supervisors did and I feel like a failure. I am a really shy person and some of their comments were that I don't seem like I want to be there. I admitted to the owner that I have to put myself out there and volunteer to do simple things like blood draws that I'm still not confident with, but I'm not really sure how because I always feel so nervous doing anything there!
The receptionist also seems to hate me sometimes, which is a problem because she's my boss too. In my review I was told that I don't always take criticism well, which I'm pretty sure comes from the receptionist who has corrected me on little things and flipped out so much. It's to the point that I don't always listen because there's just so much that she tells me. It really feels like she loves having someone to boss around and I hate it. I love working as a tech and all problems with shyness aside, the receptionist is the worst part of the job since she belittles me about anything and everything. How do I deal with her while still keeping my integrity and sanity?
PS. I am having to switch shifts/leave every now and then for vet school interviews and a family emergency trip during Christmas. Everyone else, including the owner, seems to be willing to help me out with it except the receptionist who has basically told me I should watch myself or I'll get fired. I have to work intimately with her most days and I'm terrified to even go into work when she's there. I'm really guilty about everything but there's not much I can do to change what needs to be done. Any advice would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post!

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[LyraGardenia]

It's really common to take a while to adjust to working at a clinic, especially with a small staff that's been working together for a long time, if you search the forum there are plenty of past threads about issues like this. I worked at a clinic for over two years and pretty much the entire time there was one tech who tended to belittle me, sometimes to the point of being verbally abusive. I put up with it because the vets loved her and I needed the experience, and they transitioned me to working reception quite a bit so I didn't have to deal with her as much, but I wish I had stood up for myself and said something to the office manager. I'd recommend talking to the clinic owner about the receptionist's behavior so hopefully she can address that with her. That definitely makes it hard that she's not at the clinic much, so she may have no idea the receptionist's attitude is like this. I'd also recommend asking for more specific feedback on how you can improve, but definitely work on looking for those opportunities to practice your skills and improve your confidence. If things don't improve after talking to the owner I'd start looking for jobs elsewhere, it's really not healthy to dread going to work every day, I've been there.

 

[DogtorWannabe]

You definitely should not feel like you suck at your job. You are learning, and that process takes time. However, as the commenter above said, if there are things you can improve, find out how. Perhaps giving yourself a timeline for how long you will stick it out and deciding under what circumstances you will see that decision being worth it or no longer worth it would help give you clarity. For instance, I worked in a similarly hostile clinic for a while and decided after my 3 month chat with my boss that I would give it 3 more months. During that time, I tried my best to optimize my own performance, and I made an effort to communicate with my boss about the problems I was having and even potential solutions. She was sympathetic when we talked, but in the end, she never did anything about it. So, after those 3 months, I left. When I did, my boss was sad to see me go, especially because i had worked very hard to do a good job and I had been clear about what I was unhappy with. I don’t mean to say that I handled the situation in exactly the way you should, but I think having some solid parameters for yourself can help guide you through a difficult situation like this.