single parent and med student?

peehdee

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    I know plenty of med students exist who are parents, but most of them have spouces. How about single parents without spouces? Anyone out there wanna comment? does anyone have unsupportive parents/loved ones? It must be much harder?
     

    eralza

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      While I was at my San Antonio interview, one of the MS2 students said that she started school as a single mom. Her parents would come in and take care of her son during test time. As a currently single father, I think it could be done, but a support network would absolutely be necessary. Count on this being brought up at your interviews.
       

      Paws

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        We have single parents (women) at my school. No problem, and I would do it if I had to - just have some excellent childcare and some reliable people around who can help out with the lovin' for the kidlets.

        Most things are really do-able, you just have to figure out how it is possible based on what you have, etc. Tough maybe, but do-able. Single moms do alot of tremendous things everyday and somehow they turn out some pretty decent children. :thumbup:
         
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        medstudent2008

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          I'm a single mom and I'm passing all of my first year classes. I'm definately not in the top half of my class but p=md. It's really hard trying to find balance between school and my 7yo son. You have to have some type of support system. I live with my own single mom and she still takes care of me in many ways (cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking). Good luck to all the other single parents out there.

          Cooking is included twice because it's that important!
           

          RustNeverSleeps

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            peehdee said:
            I know plenty of med students exist who are parents, but most of them have spouces. How about single paretns without spouces? Anyone out there wanna comment? It must be much harder?

            I'm sure that it is incredibly difficult to be a single parent in med school; however, I would imagine that just how difficult it is depends on what medical school one attends. For instance, my med school does not seem incredibly family friendly. There are very few people who have kids, and everyone who has one is married. I think being a single parent would be most difficult during the third year. At some schools (such as mine), you have overnight call every 3-4 nights on several rotations. Even when one doesn't have overnight call, the hours are still very long when you are doing clinical rotations (unless you go to a really easy medical school, possibly :)).
             

            anamarylee

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              One of my classmates is a single mom and she is one of the most organized students I've known. Her daughter is in preschool and she still manages to do decently at school.

              Is it harder? Yes, but with some sacrifices in between (every working/studying parent wishes for more time with their kids) you can study medicine and raise a child.
               

              Frogmed

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                I'm a single mom, but not a med student until this fall. During undergrad, I thought I had it easier than most of my classmates. They seemed to be conflicted with "should I party or should I study." I know my responsibilities and time constraints, my answer was always study. My day starts at 2:00a.m. I get my studying done and workout before my daughter wakes. I get a 30 min nap before I pick her up from school. Then we do her homework, softball, read a bed time story and we are both off to bed by 10:00. This will probably change during med school. Probably no nap for me and no sleeping after I tuck her into bed :sleep: Wha! Oh, well. I am proud my daughter is watching me achieve my goals. :oops:
                 

                ms. a

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                  Frogmed said:
                  I'm a single mom, but not a med student until this fall. During undergrad, I thought I had it easier than most of my classmates. They seemed to be conflicted with "should I party or should I study." I know my responsibilities and time constraints, my answer was always study. My day starts at 2:00a.m. I get my studying done and workout before my daughter wakes. I get a 30 min nap before I pick her up from school. Then we do her homework, softball, read a bed time story and we are both off to bed by 10:00. This will probably change during med school. Probably no nap for me and no sleeping after I tuck her into bed :sleep: Wha! Oh, well. I am proud my daughter is watching me achieve my goals. :oops:

                  Wow. You're going to have NO problem with clinical years ... at least, the no-sleep aspect of it. Obviously scheduling child care is another issue.

                  I know a girl who recently graduated from another med school who was a single mom with 3 kids. When she started, they were about 2, 4 and 6. I don't know the details of how she managed, but she did. I know the girls' father is in town, but not necessarily a big help. She ended up marrying one of her classmates in the winter of their last year, but of course, by then they were almost done and the tough part was over. Of course, marrying a classmate isn't too much a of help, since you will both have similar schedules and will have to study for major exams at the same time.

                  At any rate, she managed and has three very nice little girls who now have a mommy who is a OB/GYN and a step-dad who is a surgeon. Even with two parents with residents' schedules, they've managed. It just takes a lot of planning.
                   

                  Sharkfan

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                    I have a much younger sister (only 13) and our father's job takes him out of town for weeks at a time, so I step in and play single parent for him. I think it definitely helps that she is 13 and somewhat self-sufficient; I take her to school in the mornings, pick her up afterwards, then we go home... she talks to her friends on the phone and works on her homework while I study, we break for a hour or an hour and a half for dinner (which I make), then we go back to doing our things. We say goodnight, then start the next day. I think, with a good grandmother or friend to help out, doing this with a younger kid should work out okay. So far, I have been able to manage fine (keeping fingers crossed b/c I have a hectic exam week coming up! :luck: ). Time management is ESSENTIAL.
                     

                    gschl1234

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                      You might want to post this question in the residency forum. Your hours get much worse and uncontrollable. One of our deans said that she was a single mom of 3 and during residency when she was pulling 35+ hour shifts, her family and friends took care of her kids. I didn't ask but I wondered how old her kids were during her residency and what kind of relationship she has/had with them now/before embarking on this journey.
                       

                      threepeas

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                        eralza said:
                        While I was at my San Antonio interview, one of the MS2 students said that she started school as a single mom. Her parents would come in and take care of her son during test time. As a currently single father, I think it could be done, but a support network would absolutely be necessary. Count on this being brought up at your interviews.

                        if you dont bring up your lifestyle they cant bring it up in an interview. that is the law. i wouldnt bring it up if i were you. where there is a will, there is always a way. good luck. (married-3kids under 6-MSI)
                         
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                        ravi

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                          threepeas said:
                          if you dont bring up your lifestyle they cant bring it up in an interview. that is the law. i wouldnt bring it up if i were you. where there is a will, there is always a way. good luck. (married-3kids under 6-MSI)

                          Really! I didn't know this. Eventhough I am not a single parent (married and have a 5 yr old kid), I was asked how I would take care of my kid. I attended 4 interviews and this question was brought up at all the interviews (interviewers were the first ones to talk about this).
                           

                          pillowhead

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                            threepeas said:
                            if you dont bring up your lifestyle they cant bring it up in an interview. that is the law. i wouldnt bring it up if i were you. where there is a will, there is always a way. good luck. (married-3kids under 6-MSI)

                            Because this is a medical school interview and not an interview for employment, I'm pretty sure that's not true and that it can be brought up.
                             
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                            threepeas

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                              ravi said:
                              Really! I didn't know this. Eventhough I am not a single parent (married and have a 5 yr old kid), I was asked how I would take care of my kid. I attended 4 interviews and this question was brought up at all the interviews (interviewers were the first ones to talk about this).

                              how did they know about your kid?
                              i do student interviews for my school i was explicitedly told that we couldn't ask such lifestyle questions. i will ask again to be sure.
                              again good luck with your endeavor and keep following your dream.
                              mark
                               
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                              ravi

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                                threepeas said:
                                how did they know about your kid?
                                i do student interviews for my school i was explicitedly told that we couldn't ask such lifestyle questions. i will ask again to be sure.
                                again good luck with your endeavor and keep following your dream.
                                mark

                                Hmm... I guess I mentioned that on AMCAS application. I didn't write anything about my kid in personal statement but I think AMCAS has a question related to this. (I tried to look at my AMCAS application, but I don't find the file. May be I am totally wrong, but I remember that the question was always brought up by the interviewer.) I had only one student interviewer, he didn't ask anything related to this issue.

                                Add on: I found my AMCAS application, there is a question on 'number of dependents' under Biographic information.
                                 

                                vigils

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                                  ravi said:
                                  Hmm... I guess I mentioned that on AMCAS application. I didn't write anything about my kid in personal statement but I think AMCAS has a question related to this. (I tried to look at my AMCAS application, but I don't find the file. May be I am totally wrong, but I remember that the question was always brought up by the interviewer.) I had only one student interviewer, he didn't ask anything related to this issue.

                                  Add on: I found my AMCAS application, there is a question on 'number of dependents' under Biographic information.

                                  It's true an interviewer can't ask (or more acurately isn't supposed to), but an interviewee can volunteer the information if they like. It's all really quite silly. But as to the question of a single parent, it depends on how much you want to torment yourself. Life will be hell, don't kid yourself.
                                   

                                  ravi

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                                    vigils said:
                                    It's true an interviewer can't ask (or more acurately isn't supposed to), but an interviewee can volunteer the information if they like. It's all really quite silly. But as to the question of a single parent, it depends on how much you want to torment yourself. Life will be hell, don't kid yourself.

                                    I can't believe that these people talked about ethics. This is kinda taking advantage of the situation. Well I guess it didn't play any role in my addmission......(if at all it played any roll, it was only positive i guess)

                                    For the OP, I wouldn't say life is going to be normal, but it is not as bad as many think. Being a parent kinda gives you an edge. You know the tasks infront of you and you are forced to manage the time effectively. Even though I am married, 90% of the time I am on my own with very little help from my spouse. Ofcourse I didn't start med school yet( I will be starting this fall), but I am a veterinarian and I have a pretty good idea about the work load.

                                    my two cents.
                                     

                                    thackl

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                                      threepeas said:
                                      how did they know about your kid?
                                      i do student interviews for my school i was explicitedly told that we couldn't ask such lifestyle questions. i will ask again to be sure.
                                      again good luck with your endeavor and keep following your dream.
                                      mark
                                      Most people put this type of stuff in their personal statement. Just remember, that you are applying with 1000's of others that all pretty much look good on paper. It's sad, but I think they spend more time looking for reasons not to like you or to think you will fail, because it makes it easier for weeding out. I wouldn't offer this information.
                                       

                                      ravi

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                                        thackl said:
                                        Most people put this type of stuff in their personal statement. Just remember, that you are applying with 1000's of others that all pretty much look good on paper. It's sad, but I think they spend more time looking for reasons not to like you or to think you will fail, because it makes it easier for weeding out. I wouldn't offer this information.

                                        I didn't put mine on the Personal statement. There is a biographic information section on AMCAS, where they ask for dependents. You have to reveal the information unless you want to lie.
                                         

                                        thackl

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                                          ravi said:
                                          I didn't put mine on the Personal statement. There is a biographic information section on AMCAS, where they ask for dependents. You have to reveal the information unless you want to lie.
                                          Ouch! I'm in TX and we don't do AMCAS. Sorry about that.

                                          Looking back on it..... I would have probably listed dependents, then not mentioned the single parent thing (If I was one, which I'm not).
                                           

                                          ravi

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                                            thackl said:
                                            Ouch! I'm in TX and we don't do AMCAS. Sorry about that.

                                            Looking back on it..... I would have probably listed dependents, then not mentioned the single parent thing (If I was one, which I'm not).

                                            No heart feelings ;) . And by the way I didn't mention any thing about being a single parent either (because I am not one ;) ). Apart from the dependent section I never mentioned about my kiddo anywhere. I have more juicy stuff to talk about :D . I was just answering threepeas question about how any interviewer can find about kids with out interviewee volunteering the information.

                                            BTW how is the weather in Texas? I am desperately waiting for the spring (can't bare these temperatures anymore).
                                             

                                            thackl

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                                              ravi said:
                                              No heart feelings ;) . And by the way I didn't mention any thing about being a single parent either (because I am not one ;) ). Apart from the dependent section I never mentioned about my kiddo anywhere. I have more juicy stuff to talk about :D . I was just answering threepeas question about how any interviewer can find about kids with out interviewee volunteering the information.

                                              BTW how is the weather in Texas? I am desperately waiting for the spring (can't bare these temperatures anymore).
                                              Weather's not so good today (raining), but last week was real nice. It's hard to study when the sun comes out...... wish for a long winter.
                                               
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                                              ravi

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                                                thackl said:
                                                Once spring fever hits, you will HATE med school.

                                                BTW, where are you located. I grew up in NY and did undergrad in rochester. I know the winter blues (especially since I was big into motorcycling).

                                                I know it is hard to stay indoors when it is beautiful outside.
                                                I live in Ohio and I envy people living in florida, CA, Texas :D .
                                                 

                                                ms. a

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                                                  ravi said:
                                                  I know it is hard to stay indoors when it is beautiful outside.
                                                  I live in Ohio and I envy people living in florida, CA, Texas :D .

                                                  Please, envy Californians all you want, but there is not reason to envy Texans. There is no reason to envy the complete lack of winter, sweltering summers and humidity so heavy there is no need for ironing your clothes in summer. Although, this winter has been surprisingly cool, which is nice. Of course, I am saddened every day that the weather forecast now has highs reaching into the 70s.

                                                  If you can't tell, I am someone who grew up in the paradise of Northern California (rain in August? who ever heard of such a thing? I had an outdoor wedding in August in Napa Valley and didn't think once of the possibility of rain) and now has a pair of silver handcuffs keeping me in Houston for the 2 or so decades. Some day I will be free again to return to the most wonderful place on earth. I just have to wait for humans to walk on the moon again, first.
                                                   

                                                  chris03333

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                                                    If you don't mind my asking why go to medical school if you are already a veterinarian? Just an interest in human medicine?



                                                    ravi said:
                                                    I can't believe that these people talked about ethics. This is kinda taking advantage of the situation. Well I guess it didn't play any role in my addmission......(if at all it played any roll, it was only positive i guess)

                                                    For the OP, I wouldn't say life is going to be normal, but it is not as bad as many think. Being a parent kinda gives you an edge. You know the tasks infront of you and you are forced to manage the time effectively. Even though I am married, 90% of the time I am on my own with very little help from my spouse. Ofcourse I didn't start med school yet( I will be starting this fall), but I am a veterinarian and I have a pretty good idea about the work load.

                                                    my two cents.
                                                     

                                                    ravi

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                                                      chris03333 said:
                                                      If you don't mind my asking why go to medical school if you are already a veterinarian? Just an interest in human medicine?

                                                      Obviously that was my interviewers favourite question and aswell as mine. I did my veterinary medicine in another country, and the system is totally different. You take one single test for medicine, veterinary, pharmacy, agriculture, horticultue etc... and you have no choice or any say in the process. You will be given a spot based on your rank and that is the end of the story. I was given a spot in pharmacy and veterinary, and I chose to go to veterinary. Even though Veterinary is an interesting field, there isn't much advancement in the field. No research, no cutting edge technology. Anthoher thing is, even though I am a veterinarian, I was more involved with zoonotic diseases and educating the people about those( I kinda like the human interaction). Now that I have a second chance to perceive my dream, I am taking it.

                                                      Basically with veterinary medicine I didn't get the sense of satisfaction I was looking for. My calling was human medicine and I didn't want to compramise on that any more and I am glad I didn't.
                                                       

                                                      ravi

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                                                        ms. a said:
                                                        Please, envy Californians all you want, but there is not reason to envy Texans. There is no reason to envy the complete lack of winter, sweltering summers and humidity so heavy there is no need for ironing your clothes in summer. Although, this winter has been surprisingly cool, which is nice. Of course, I am saddened every day that the weather forecast now has highs reaching into the 70s.

                                                        If you can't tell, I am someone who grew up in the paradise of Northern California (rain in August? who ever heard of such a thing? I had an outdoor wedding in August in Napa Valley and didn't think once of the possibility of rain) and now has a pair of silver handcuffs keeping me in Houston for the 2 or so decades. Some day I will be free again to return to the most wonderful place on earth. I just have to wait for humans to walk on the moon again, first.

                                                        70 sounds sooooooooo good. I can live with 80s and 90s, but I guess 110s are scary :scared: .

                                                        Hang in there, I heard russians are going to wlak on the moon again next year. j/k. Enjoy 70s. They don't last long.....
                                                         

                                                        virilep

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                                                          ravi said:
                                                          70 sounds sooooooooo good. I can live with 80s and 90s, but I guess 110s are scary :scared: .

                                                          Hang in there, I heard russians are going to wlak on the moon again next year. j/k. Enjoy 70s. They don't last long.....
                                                          haha, when did this become a weather thread?
                                                           

                                                          ravi

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                                                            sorry........ :oops: . I am guity of hijacking this thread. OK no more weather questions. I am giving back this thread to OP. Anybody interested in posting their experiences as a single parent?
                                                             

                                                            Frogmed

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                                                              Single mom, starting medical school here. Orientation starts this week. Undergrad was tough for me; I studied allloooot. I've had a year off from school to rest up and get things in order. I've primarily have been spending tons of time with my daughter. Last night my daughter starts crying because she's worried things will go back to the way they were during undergrad (truth is, probably worse). She's also upset I won't be taking and picking her up from school this year, like I have done every year (she's a 7th grader).

                                                              Does anyone have suggestions or words of wisdom I can offer my daughter to help ease her worries. I told her I've planned a date night with her every week, I'll always tuck her in at night, I'll aways read to her at bed time, and like before, I'll only miss a few softball games. We have tons of support. She always has an adult, who she knows and trusts, present.

                                                              As moms, our lives are not our own. I know this path isn't easy and isn't always the best for families. I'm the first in my family to attend college, so obviously I'll be the first to attempt higher education. I'm not just going to medical school for me; I'm also going to show my daughter what a woman can do. I'm walking the road before her. I want her to know there are no boundaries and it's okay to dream your biggest dream.
                                                               
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