So, it seems that I'm a bit too dependent on others to help me/ assist me...

[Tennis Guy]

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So, I've realized that I'm a bit too dependent on others to help me and I'm trying to change this. However, I seem to do significantly better in classes, when I have others help me. Generally, I guess by "helping", I mean studying with me. It's extremely hard for me to find someone to study with usually in a class because even if I do find someone, they usually "flake" out from studying or are not reliable in general. It's quite unfortunate because I really do well, when I find a good study partner to review class material with.

Well, now I'm trying to figure out how I should become more self-reliant and gain more confidence in myself. I seem to have really low self-confidence at this point, and I'm trying to change that. Is it really a huge problem or "crutch," if I do well with the assistance of others? It seems my grade suffers, if I don't find a person to review the material with/ study with for certain classes (especially science ones.) What do you guys think? Any comments or advice will be greatly appreciated! 🙂

 

[TheShaker]

You're using studying with others as a crutch. Just study by yourself for a while and eventually you'll learn to be self reliant.

 

[Doctor Strange]

Talk to yourself while studying. I do it all the time.

 

[ShenanigansMD]

You're only holding yourself back when you say you rely on others.

You should start studying by yourself, because in MD school you're probably gonna feel lonely a lot.

 

[maaza1]

Sometimes I record myself reciting my notes or the teacher....that helps.

 

[TheMightySmiter]

Group studying has enormous value, so don't feel pressured to switch completely to individual studying. But you need to learn how to study on your own, as well. Can you pinpoint what it is about group studying that helps you so much?

 

[Parklife]

tl;dr of all of the above posts:

There might be a reason people flake. 😀


You need to learn how to be dependent sooner or later. There won't be help on the MCAT. There won't be that much help in med school. There will be some help in residency, but not really. Are you going to be calling up your buddies when you need help as a doctor?

Learn to be the guy people come to for help, not the other way around. Sounds harsh, but that's how you win.

Good luck!

 

[Praefectus]

Talk to yourself while studying. I do it all the time.

You should also rock back and forth too, right?

tl;dr of all of the above posts:

There might be a reason people flake. 😀


You need to learn how to be dependent sooner or later. There won't be help on the MCAT. There won't be that much help in med school. There will be some help in residency, but not really. Are you going to be calling up your buddies when you need help as a doctor?

Learn to be the guy people come to for help, not the other way around. Sounds harsh, but that's how you win.

Good luck!

I assume you meant independent?

 

[lobo.solo]

Talk to yourself while studying. I do it all the time.

I don't know if you are joking, but I seriously do this... Not all the time though.
OP, so you need people to tutor you? Or is it that when you are with someone you get more motivation to study? Why do you think you need to study with others?

 

[idontcaureuknow]

So, I've realized that I'm a bit too dependent on others to help me and I'm trying to change this. However, I seem to do significantly better in classes, when I have others help me. Generally, I guess by "helping", I mean studying with me. It's extremely hard for me to find someone to study with usually in a class because even if I do find someone, they usually "flake" out from studying or are not reliable in general. It's quite unfortunate because I really do well, when I find a good study partner to review class material with.

Well, now I'm trying to figure out how I should become more self-reliant and gain more confidence in myself. I seem to have really low self-confidence at this point, and I'm trying to change that. Is it really a huge problem or "crutch," if I do well with the assistance of others? It seems my grade suffers, if I don't find a person to review the material with/ study with for certain classes (especially science ones.) What do you guys think? Any comments or advice will be greatly appreciated! 🙂

I'm not too different. My problem is far more in terms of motivation. IF I find a topic easier to understand, I get bored and stop studying and start doing other things. If I have a good study partner (usually someone who I end up mostly "tutoring") I rock a class out. If not, I end up borderline A-B and feel extremely lazy.

I also learned to pick study partners very wisely by always appearing like the stupid kid in class (sleeping works wonders ). I'd look for the kid who was willing to try and not doing so well, then end up studying with him/her a lot. They tend to not flake so much.

When I can't find a good study group and a class is kicking my behind, I'll study. But I'm always talking to myself, a cat, or anything just to have conversation and figure things out.

 

[TheMightySmiter]

I'm not too different. My problem is far more in terms of motivation. IF I find a topic easier to understand, I get bored and stop studying and start doing other things. If I have a good study partner (usually someone who I end up mostly "tutoring") I rock a class out. If not, I end up borderline A-B and feel extremely lazy.

I also learned to pick study partners very wisely by always appearing like the stupid kid in class (sleeping works wonders ). I'd look for the kid who was willing to try and not doing so well, then end up studying with him/her a lot. They tend to not flake so much.

When I can't find a good study group and a class is kicking my behind, I'll study. But I'm always talking to myself, a cat, or anything just to have conversation and figure things out.

I kind of strongly dislike you after this post...

 

[Doctor Strange]

I don't know if you are joking, but I seriously do this... Not all the time though.
OP, so you need people to tutor you? Or is it that when you are with someone you get more motivation to study? Why do you think you need to study with others?

100% serious. I talk to myself, and it helps me remember and learn stuff.

 

[lobo.solo]

100% serious. I talk to myself, and it helps me remember and learn stuff.

Jajaja, for sure man! Me too.

 

[Neurosis]

I'm an introvert and somewhat shy in real life so studying in groups never felt right to me. Besides I tried it once and the only thing that seems to happen is that people complain about how hard the class is and give excuses as to why they're doing *relatively* terrible compared to the students getting near perfect scores on the exams.

Unless you're friends with serious students, studying in groups is pretty counterproductive.

 

[Davidasaurus]

100% serious. I talk to myself, and it helps me remember and learn stuff.

Agreed.

I like to incorporate a mixture of group & self studying. I do my best (and by best, that pretty much means fighting to stay awake and resisting the urge to browse facebook/play fruit ninja) to pay attention in lecture, and hit the books at night once all my social activities have ended (working out/dinner/etc). During this self study oftentimes I talk things out to myself, especially when trying to grasp the concepts of orgo/bio mechanisms or explaining how I'm going to tackle a physics problem. I only do this when I'm studying by myself, I'd look like a nut if I did it at the library lol.

Usually when I meet with my study group for that particular class I'll ask the other members to help explain things to me that I didn't fully understand, and to help others understand things they need help with (trying to explain something to someone else really helps in terms of learning a concept, at least for me)

 

[Ansar]

I had this problem. I would meet with a guy to do Calc homework every week. At first, it was mostly me asking him "Wait, how did you solve that?" and trying to understand his work. I became really frustrated that I was just mooching off him and started reading the book when I was lost, paying more attention in class, going to office hours, and by the last weeks of class, he was asking me if we could meet up so I could help him.

TL;DR - Work harder at understanding the material by yourself. Ask questions to the professor during office hours, if you have any. Do the homework by yourself. You can do it; be perseverant. 👍

 

[idontcaureuknow]

I kind of strongly dislike you after this post...

Wow, after re-reading my post it came off way more arrogant than planned. So let me try to explain:

1) My main reason for taking classes and going to college was to learn, not to get straight A's (which I most certainly did not). Thus, if I was doing well in a class and found the material easy to understand, my motivation went right out the window because the rest was just a grade. Panic mode wouldn't kick in until I was in serious trouble.

2) I always tried to appear stupid at first in classes because then most people don't view you as the ideal study partner and don't seek out help (I'd never say no when asked either). I preferred to study with people who were hard working and mostly lacked fundamental knowledge (which accounted for their struggle). An example is in organic chemistry I'd often reference general chemistry and pull out a gen chem text to explain a concept. This reinforced my knowledge about a subject. While my study partners were trying to learn something, I was trying to understand the next concept well enough to explain it to them. Worked very well for me and them.

3) I much prefer study groups to working alone, because the many different perspectives can be very valuable. However, if a course was giving me trouble and I lacked some fundamental knowledge, I would totally study on my own and do well (A/B range). Just in my experience, a good study group would make for quick learning (and not every study group I was in had a "tutoring" aspect, there were many where we all only understood bits and pieces).

4) Personal philosophy I feel is important to know to counterbalance the arrogance of my first post: I believe there is very little separating me from being a college graduate (present) and an uneducated homeless bum. I simply got lucky with my influences in life and my family situation. Hopefully I can avoid the fate of being an educated homeless bum .

 

[Tennis Guy]

Group studying has enormous value, so don't feel pressured to switch completely to individual studying. But you need to learn how to study on your own, as well. Can you pinpoint what it is about group studying that helps you so much?

Well, group studying does keep me focused, and I feel as if I'm more prepared and confident. Studying with someone else also gives me a great feeling of security because I also feel as if I'm going to do well because I have reviewed the material with someone prepared. So, basically reviewing the material with a student that is doing well in the class helps me identify my weaknesses and what I need to review more to do well on tests and such.

 

[TheShaker]

Well, group studying does keep me focused, and I feel as if I'm more prepared and confident. Studying with someone else also gives me a great feeling of security because I also feel as if I'm going to do well because I have reviewed the material with someone prepared. So, basically reviewing the material with a student that is doing well in the class helps me identify my weaknesses and what I need to review more to do well on tests and such.

You need to get in the habit of identifying your own weaknesses and estimating if you have learned enough. I think the only way of doing this is to step outside your comfort zone and practice. Just like anything else, it will feel uncomfortable at first but you will get used to it. I really doubt anyone can be limited enough to not be able to work alone. It's just a confidence issue.

I have met people in my classes who are completely dependent on their classmates to the point of completely shutting down when they have to work independently. This is because they've spent their entire lives leaning on other people for everything little thing. I had a girl in my chemistry class who couldn't figure out how to dilute HCl without someone holding her hand. Don't be that person.