Sober in Medical School

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Lil Mick

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🙂 I am an incoming medical student (MD/PhD), and I have been in recovery for a few years. I was wondering if anyone else had handled the social scene in medical school sober or if anyone had known anyone in medical school in my situation--what about hanging out with classmates, balancing the work load plus recovery stuff...
From what I have heard from medical students during my interviews and read here, it seems as if, compared to undergraduate studies, there are very few socializing alternatives to going out to bars and clubs with classmates. The (few) students in my class whom I have met thus far have not been okay with me not going clubbing, even after knowing that I am in recovery. Is this generally true regarding medical school outings?
I would be really grateful for some input. Thanks 🙂
 
Lil Mick said:
The (few) students in my class whom I have met thus far have not been okay with me not going clubbing, even after knowing that I am in recovery.
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Wow...just wow. Ignore the people who are hassling you about not going out and drinking; people who can't appreciate your recovery efforts aren't worth hanging out with, if you ask me.
 
Lil Mick said:
🙂 I am an incoming medical student (MD/PhD), and I have been in recovery for a few years. I was wondering if anyone else had handled the social scene in medical school sober or if anyone had known anyone in medical school in my situation--what about hanging out with classmates, balancing the work load plus recovery stuff...
From what I have heard from medical students during my interviews and read here, it seems as if, compared to undergraduate studies, there are very few socializing alternatives to going out to bars and clubs with classmates. The (few) students in my class whom I have met thus far have not been okay with me not going clubbing, even after knowing that I am in recovery. Is this generally true regarding medical school outings?
I would be really grateful for some input. Thanks 🙂
Click to expand...

What do you mean "not been okay with you not going clubbing?" They don't have to be okay with you not going clubbing. I feel like if the temptation is too much, it's better to not go at all. If you want to socialize with your classmates without drinking you can throw your own party with a theme that has nothing to do with alcohol or plan a hiking/fishing/whatever trip. Getting to know your classmates is important, but not worth jeopardizing your sobriety. Also there will be "outings" that may include alcohol but won't be boozefests, so you can opt for those. Plus there will inevitably be a few other people in your class that don't drink. I still invite those students to my shindigs and make sure I have non-alc drinks for them. I am not in recovery, but I don't think you should feel obligated to explain to people why you don't drink. It's fine to tell close friends if you want to, but it's not really anyone's business. If total transparency is just your M.O., fine, but I would spend some serious time reflecting on that issue first. If you need booze-free tips and happen to be going to med school in CA, CT, MA, or PA, let me know and I might be able to help you out.
 
It's my opinion (and take it for what it's worth) that anyone who can't respect your need to stay away from alcohol isn't worth being around, as previously stated. What you're accomplishing - staying sober - is one of the most difficult and most admirable things you can do and I for one applaud you for it. As suggested by another poster, you might consider staying away from that crap altogether. There do exist opportunities in med school to hang out and not drink. You can find people who don't need to get tanked to have fun on Friday or wind down after exams if that is going to be a point of temptation for you.

Are you going somewhere entirely new for med school? I don't know if you do AA, but the AA website has a link to help you find meetings (maybe you already knew that, but just in case). Many schools offer psych services if that is something you'd pursue - people tend to feel a little iffy going, at least at my school, but you can see for yourself if your school offers it if you're interested. And as always, the message board is no substitute for actual medical advice - if you see someone now for your recovery issues, it's always best to first talk with him/her about the best options and strategies for continuing your sobriety and adjusting to med school/new friendships.

I truly wish you the best of luck, and take care!
 
Friends aren't worth having if they won't accept you for who you are.
 
JPmamd09 said:
You can find people who don't need to get tanked to have fun on Friday or wind down after exams !
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lol nope

OP, I'm not an abstainer by any stretch but I like to keep my volume of alcohol relatively low (relative to everyone else) and even I seem to get some mild attitude sometimes for choosing to remain at the pleasantly buzzed level and often refusing to reach the "tanked" level. I did the heavy drinking in high school and college and I got tired of it, mainly because it interferes with good progress toward my exercise goals..

I don't really have any advice for you, and I'm not going to lie to you and say that you will have an easy time socially if you choose to abstain. Hopefully you're on the introverted side and have some nice solo hobbies to keep you from going nuts on those nights that you choose to skip the party entirely.
 
VoiceofReason said:
lol nope

OP, I'm not an abstainer by any stretch but I like to keep my volume of alcohol relatively low (relative to everyone else) and even I seem to get some mild attitude sometimes for choosing to remain at the pleasantly buzzed level and often refusing to reach the "tanked" level. I did the heavy drinking in high school and college and I got tired of it, mainly because it interferes with good progress toward my exercise goals..
Click to expand...

Yeah thats definitely one of the big problems with alcohol, I know that if I drink a significant amount I probably won't be working out the next day.
 
VoiceofReason said:
OP, I'm not an abstainer by any stretch but I like to keep my volume of alcohol relatively low (relative to everyone else) and even I seem to get some mild attitude sometimes for choosing to remain at the pleasantly buzzed level and often refusing to reach the "tanked" level.
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That just seems bat$(*& insane to me. I could never take someone seriously who would give another "attitude" for not binge drinking, let alone worry about what they thought of me.
 
We had a couple guys on my rugby team that were in recovery... they hung out with us at the bar like everyone else, they just didn't drink. We all knew they had serious problems so we didn't give them any **** about it. I'm sure med students will be more than understanding.
 
One important thing to remember here is that the OP is talking about people in his/her class who have also not started med schol yet. They are just excited and in a hurry to form bonds with their classmates. They probably think the whole class will go out together to party as a group all the time.

I think you will find them to be more understanding of your sobriety once you guys have had a chance to actually start classes and hang out.
 
I really only drink about one beer a week, if that. I've had no real problems. One of the biggest issues is that people will assume that since you don't drink, you may not want to go out with them. I've gotten a few shocked replies when I said I don't drink anymore. I just tell them that it isn't conducive to my current goals and that it was a slippery slope for me in the past. I don't think I was ever a true "alcoholic" in the stereotypical sense, but there was a point in my life where I felt it was the only way I could have fun and even chilling out at home would involve it. I also gauge the person and sometimes tell them that it is just expensive and I'm broke....which is also true. No idea where these people get the money to go out and drink several times a week.
 
MossPoh said:
I really only drink about one beer a week, if that. I've had no real problems. One of the biggest issues is that people will assume that since you don't drink, you may not want to go out with them. I've gotten a few shocked replies when I said I don't drink anymore. I just tell them that it isn't conducive to my current goals and that it was a slippery slope for me in the past. I don't think I was ever a true "alcoholic" in the stereotypical sense, but there was a point in my life where I felt it was the only way I could have fun and even chilling out at home would involve it. I also gauge the person and sometimes tell them that it is just expensive and I'm broke....which is also true. No idea where these people get the money to go out and drink several times a week.
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This is actually very true, I live very frugally since im doing this on loans and I have no clue where my classmates get the money to go to NYC and get hammered as often as they do.
 
Im happy to see this post. I've never been a very heavy drinker, but I just don't really get into it. I've had a couple of GF's that were alcoholics so I just got used to having only a drink or two and driving their drunk asses home. Ill go to a bar etc, but I really prefer a small shindig at someone's house.

So, OP, we're around, just keep digging. I've recently starting going out a bit more and I just can't believe that so many people our age just drink themselves into a stupor every weekend, and that's the only way they have fun.

The way Ive experienced it, the most vocal ppl are going to the bars and clubs, and they've got to be at least a bit immature if they're giving you **** about not drinking. It's the ppl that are basically under your radar that are having small gatherings, game nights etc. Keep your ears open or invite some folks on facebook. hopefully youll find a cool set of folks.
 
There's plenty of people in med school who either don't drink, or rarely drink, either for religious reasons, or just because they don't want to. It's not a big deal and nobody gives them any grief for it. These people still come out to bars and class functions (dances, parties, follies/sillies/jollies) - they just don't drink alcohol at them. You'll find like-minded people once the semester starts, and you'll be fine.
 
LadyWolverine said it all for me. People in your class will have variable interest in using alcohol, from regular use to never. You'll find a group of like-minded people in your class to socialize with. It's completely acceptable to say "I don't drink" and leave it at that if you'd rather not have the world know your business.

It's a shame that those you've met so far have not understood the importance of your maintaining your sobriety, although they may not truly be able to conceptualize what that means for you if they haven't known someone whose alcohol use is problematic.

btw, congrats to the OP on achieving and maintaining sobriety. 👍 not an easy task at all.
 
Stixman28 said:
Im happy to see this post. I've never been a very heavy drinker, but I just don't really get into it. I've had a couple of GF's that were alcoholics so I just got used to having only a drink or two and driving their drunk asses home. Ill go to a bar etc, but I really prefer a small shindig at someone's house.
Click to expand...

I'll throw a shindig at my place once in a while during school, since I'm the same way and the bar scene in Baltimore gets old fastttt.
 
I don't drink at all for religious purposes and nobody cares, really. They seem surprised at first, but then they get used to it. I hang out with them at other social events such as dinners, pro basketball & football, etc... To completely alienate somebody just because of the lack of drinking habits, or in your case because of a special situation, seems really narrow-minded and childish. Keep looking for people that are worth hanging out with, not those clowns.
 
There will plenty of people in your class who don't drink (I can think of about 10 in my class off the top of my head). Frankly no one seems to care in my class if others drink or not. Most come to all the functions and just choose not to drink. If your classmates are so immature as to give a rats ass if you drink or not then that's just pathetic.
 
OP, is the issue that you're afraid if placed in a situation you'll slip up? If this isn't the case then I say make the most of the scene. I had both types of friends in college (drinkers and abstainers) and we were able to attend parties together/go out to clubs. I don't see why someone would judge you for not drinking, especially since you have a very valid reason. If I were hanging out with you, I'd probably change my plans to make the time pass by easier for you.

With that said, the allure I would imagine wears off fast after everyone gets to know each other. At this age we should be broken into alcohol, if we drink. There is plenty to do without alcohol present. Think back to your undergrad... movies, Guitar Hero/Rockband, huge dinners, dance parties, etc. We're still young, there are plenty of ways to have fun. There was always alcohol around me, but we rarely actually imbibed. Just because its nearby doesn't mean one has to partake (even if with a large group of people).
 
In general I'd worry about anyone who is willing to sacrifice thier medical school academic success for social success. The fact that you're in recovery and thus have greater risks and more to lose is even more worrisome. You're there to learn. Period. You really, really need to be 100% confident in the fact that you will never jeopardize your sobriety for stupid stuff like this. Your classmates don't need to understand. Some will, some won't, but YOU must. Your addict mind will never be confident that "relapse" is going to cost you your career, but you CAN be confident that it's a stupid and unnecessary risk to take. The important thing is you graduate with an MD in 4 years. Period.
 
Stay strong and find a good support group. You'll face tremendous pressures during medical school along with many temptations. It's critical that you retain a very solid support network so that you can get through med school and residency. Best of luck.
 
Lil Mick said:
🙂 I am an incoming medical student (MD/PhD), and I have been in recovery for a few years. I was wondering if anyone else had handled the social scene in medical school sober or if anyone had known anyone in medical school in my situation--what about hanging out with classmates, balancing the work load plus recovery stuff...
From what I have heard from medical students during my interviews and read here, it seems as if, compared to undergraduate studies, there are very few socializing alternatives to going out to bars and clubs with classmates. The (few) students in my class whom I have met thus far have not been okay with me not going clubbing, even after knowing that I am in recovery. Is this generally true regarding medical school outings?
I would be really grateful for some input. Thanks 🙂
Click to expand...

Good on you for being sober. 🙂

As for the social scene, chunks of the class seem as if they've never socially left high school or undergrad. I drink rarely at most, and if I do it's a mixed drink at home, kicked back with my wife watching a MST3K episode.

The number who mention going clubbing/drinking is surprisingly high. However, if someone has a problem with you not going out clubbing, tell them to shove it. 😉

I'm reminded of the story of Darren McCarty, forward for the Detroit Red Wings. He was an alcoholic in the late 90s-early 00s, and hit bottom. Got cleaned up, came back up through the ranks of the minors, and got his name on the Stanley Cup in 2008. One of his linemates (Kris Draper, if anyone's a Wings fan) grabbed the champagne-filled Cup as it went around in the locker room, dumped it and filled it with Gatorade, just so he could get that ceremonial chug out of the Cup. 😀

Have you any friends in the class who have your back? That might be helpful- someone else along with you telling the pro-club contingent to shove it can work wonders.
 
A substantial number of my med school classmates (including me) like to hit the clubs periodically to socialize and relax. In general, those of us who do are not married and are footloose and fancy free. I have never witnessed any social pressure on fellow students to go to bars or clubs and drink. Those who enjoy that sort activity do, and those that don't, simply do not participate. Nobody thinks anything about it.

I inclined to think that med students, more than other groups, would be sensitive to addiction issues. Of course, there are always exceptions, but I would be surprised if the OP was under intense social pressure to go to bars and drink. Do what you want and need to do to succeed personally and professionally. Nobody really cares what you do.
 
WellWornLad said:
That just seems bat$(*& insane to me. I could never take someone seriously who would give another "attitude" for not binge drinking, let alone worry about what they thought of me.
Click to expand...

Word WWL. I do my fair share of drinking.... but I also don't go out when I don't want to... and no one cares at all. Really... no one. Don't fret OP, you'll be fine. Wait until you start.... you'll meet plenty of the non-drinking type as well.
 
-
 
Last edited:
OP, I am also an entering medical student and don't drink. I was given a pretty hard time about it during a study abroad in Europe when I was 20 at first but then people didn't seem to care since I would go hang out but order a sprite. At that time I didn't have a reason besides hating the taste of alcohol.

Now however, I have a medical condition that requires a med that makes me very sick if I drink. I tried drinking when I turned 21 (yes goody goody here) and was sick for 3-4 days. No one has ever told me I should drink when I tell them that. In fact, at our study abroad reunion dinner I was the only person who didn't order a drink and my friends were so sweet about it- absolutely no teasing! Maybe you could just say you have a medical condition and you can't drink- which addiction and being in recovery is medical in my mind.
 
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