JennyAnn4

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I'm creating this thread in hopes that there is someone out there who is going through a similar situation. I just started my Ph.D. program in Clinical Psychology this past September, and am now extremely unhappy. Not because of the workload, or the professors, or even the commute. It's my fellow students.

They have all ostracized me, and now I can often tell that they're exchanging significant glances when I ask a certain question, etc. and that they talk about me behind my back. A few of you suggested that I try to be friendlier with them and whatnot, and while I think that's awesome advice, I didn't start the program out like this. I WAS friendly, and always went out of my way to get everyone what they needed, etc. The last straw was when our TA for one class gave us the wrong personality test: I went to school on a Sunday, made photocopies, scanned the test, and sent it to everyone. I think 2 people thanked me.

They all look out for each other when it comes to our assignments, etc., and no one cares if I get what I need. For those of you in Ph.D./Psy.D. programs, you know that you're often required to do group activities for various purposes. It's not easy to successfully participate in these when no one wants to be with you. I hate having to deal with this problem when I got into graduate school to excel and grow as a professional and an individual.

Can anyone commiserate?
 
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Dec 15, 2009
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That sounds awful! If it is any consolation, you will probably have fewer contacts with your classmates as you progress into your 2nd, 3rd and 4th year. Any ideas why they single you out? It might help to have a sit down talk with them.
 
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Aura5

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That sucks. I had a similar experience my first dorm year on campus in undergrad. Because my roommate and I are natural introverts we preferred a closed door most the time, and also did not appreciate the screaming down the hall at 3:00a.m. which violated the rules of the hall. We ended up pretty ostracized.

So I'm sorry you're stuck with that. :( I'm not in grad school yet, so I genuinely hope someone can give you good advice of what to do.
 

Therapist4Chnge

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That sucks. I had a similar experience my first dorm year on campus in undergrad. Because my roommate and I are natural introverts we preferred a closed door most the time, and also did not appreciate the screaming down the hall at 3:00a.m. which violated the rules of the hall. We ended up pretty ostracized.
Quiet Hall/House...best.idea.ever. My first semester I was in the typical freshman dorm, and it was a nightmare, so when a spot opened up in the QH I jumped at it. I was an athlete in college, so I needed my sleep and any time I had to study was at a premium, so living in the QH made my life so much easier. Most of the students on campus didn't even know where it was, so rarely was there an issue. :laugh:

It just sounds to me like they probably don't know you well and they might have formed some sort of negative impression of you and simply feel more comfortable talking/working with each other. If you at least keep making the effort to join their group, or offer some sort of help, it typically goes a long way with people.
Socializing can vary, especially during your first year. I was a bit older than most of my classmates, so it took more effort to relate. I threw a BBQ for my cohort and invited some upperclassmen I met, so that went a long way in meeting everyone, but I admittedly didn't hang out with most of them because it took me awhile to get back into the "school" mindset.

Most likely you'll find a few people you get along with, and then there is everyone else. I tried to meet people outside of the program because there were times when I wanted to do anything but hear about more psych-related stuff. As for group work, leverage your strengths. We had study groups for most of the 1st and 2nd year classes, so I joined up with people who needed my areas of strength (psychobio, pharma, nuero). I didn't really need help in those classes, but I did need help with diversity, stats, etc...so for those classes I was able to lean on them more. As for group projects, thankfully we didn't have many, but when we did I just tried to work with responsible people, so even if we didn't get along great, I know they'd get their work done. Ironically a couple of people who drove me nuts in class ended up being quality people outside of class, it just took working with them for a bit to realize it.
 
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