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Some optometry humor:
Some optometry humor
- Thread starter alferec
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Here's a couple I've come across on the web:
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,
"Cover your right eye with your hand."
He read the 20/20 line perfectly.
"Now your left."
Again, a flawless read.
"Now both," I requested.
There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
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Q: What happened to the optician who fell into his lens-grinding machine?
A: He made a spectacle of himself.
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Actual sign seen at an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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(True story) A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered that the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (okay so this one's not so funny...but I couldn't resist...)
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,
"Cover your right eye with your hand."
He read the 20/20 line perfectly.
"Now your left."
Again, a flawless read.
"Now both," I requested.
There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What happened to the optician who fell into his lens-grinding machine?
A: He made a spectacle of himself.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Actual sign seen at an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(True story) A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered that the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (okay so this one's not so funny...but I couldn't resist...)
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(True story) A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered that the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (okay so this one's not so funny...but I couldn't resist...)[/QUOTE]
Good ones...
Moral of the last story... "check under slit lamp before yanking anything out of peoples eyes " ....
Good ones...
Moral of the last story... "check under slit lamp before yanking anything out of peoples eyes " ....
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Moral of the last story... "check under slit lamp before yanking anything out of peoples eyes " ....
yeah, that's kind of a "duh". The ER is definitely not the best place to go for stuff like that
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This guy must not have been an OD. For me at least, I always do everything OD first then OS including checking VAs. One thing I have learned so far is to be very clear with patient instructions, and even still some people have a hard time following them.
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Taken from the Calgary sun,
LAUGH A LITTLE
Jimmy the old snake went to see his optometrist.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes," explained Jimmy. "I can't see well these days." The optometrist fixed Jimmy up with a hip pair of horn-rimmed glasses and told him to come back in a couple of weeks for a follow-up visit."
"I'm very depressed, doc," Jimmy complained.
"What's the problem?" asked the optometrist. "Didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine," Jimmy wailed. "But I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past two years!"
LAUGH A LITTLE
Jimmy the old snake went to see his optometrist.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes," explained Jimmy. "I can't see well these days." The optometrist fixed Jimmy up with a hip pair of horn-rimmed glasses and told him to come back in a couple of weeks for a follow-up visit."
"I'm very depressed, doc," Jimmy complained.
"What's the problem?" asked the optometrist. "Didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine," Jimmy wailed. "But I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past two years!"
