Somewhat "lying" in my personal statement??

[Pinkfluffybunny]

Hi! So I posted this immediately after the incident happened a while ago but I was pre dental/slightly unsure about what I wanted to do back then. Basically, I had pretty good grades until I got sexually assaulted and also actually assaulted because the entire ordeal was very violent and unexpected and I was beaten up as well. Before the incident I was debating between being pre dent or getting a PhD in bioinformatics, as I have a huge love of tech - but after the incident, I started volunteering with women's health organizations (planned parenthood, domestic violence shelters, etc.) once I felt comfortable enough to walk outside. My gpa fell SO much that semester (the incident was a few days before finals week) but since then I brought it back up even though there is overall damage - I will likely graduate with a 3.75cGPA and 3.67sGPA.

In my personal statement, I don't feel comfortable sharing the sexual nature of the assault. I would really not prefer to talk about the assault in general, however every time I think about "why medicine" I rotate back to the fact that my doctor literally asked me "how I provoked a man to do that" (like literally those exact words, my therapist and I were appalled) and that inspired me to go into medicine because I truly hope nobody ever feels that way! I had a pretty good research career in bioinformatics before (2 publications and 1 poster), and everything seemed lined up but I did take an entire year off volunteering/generally interacting with humans outside of classrooms and I feel like if I don't talk about it med schools will think I'm just lazy and pathetic, but I'm also scared they'll think I'm pathetic if I talk about being sexually assaulted.

SO in terms of the actual question, would it be a technical lie if I pretended I was never sexually assaulted and said I was "robbed" or "mugged"? Because I was left with lots of bruises on my face as well and it was in a public place so I was hoping to say that was the incident because I just feel like people wouldn't think poorly of me if they thought I was robbed instead of assaulted?

I guess right now in terms of me being a candidate, I do a lot of comp sci work and combined with women's health volunteering I just don't want anyone to think I'm not committed to medicine. Sorry for the super long post!

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[deleted1063986]

Sorry you had to go through all of that. Avoid lying, but you could say you were assaulted and leave the sexual part out of it if you wish. Or you could focus on the subsequent women's health volunteering experiences you pursued because of your experience, rather than on that particular incident. Best of luck.

 

[Goro]

Hi! So I posted this immediately after the incident happened a while ago but I was pre dental/slightly unsure about what I wanted to do back then. Basically, I had pretty good grades until I got sexually assaulted and also actually assaulted because the entire ordeal was very violent and unexpected and I was beaten up as well. Before the incident I was debating between being pre dent or getting a PhD in bioinformatics, as I have a huge love of tech - but after the incident, I started volunteering with women's health organizations (planned parenthood, domestic violence shelters, etc.) once I felt comfortable enough to walk outside. My gpa fell SO much that semester (the incident was a few days before finals week) but since then I brought it back up even though there is overall damage - I will likely graduate with a 3.75cGPA and 3.67sGPA.

In my personal statement, I don't feel comfortable sharing the sexual nature of the assault. I would really not prefer to talk about the assault in general, however every time I think about "why medicine" I rotate back to the fact that my doctor literally asked me "how I provoked a man to do that" (like literally those exact words, my therapist and I were appalled) and that inspired me to go into medicine because I truly hope nobody ever feels that way! I had a pretty good research career in bioinformatics before (2 publications and 1 poster), and everything seemed lined up but I did take an entire year off volunteering/generally interacting with humans outside of classrooms and I feel like if I don't talk about it med schools will think I'm just lazy and pathetic, but I'm also scared they'll think I'm pathetic if I talk about being sexually assaulted.

SO in terms of the actual question, would it be a technical lie if I pretended I was never sexually assaulted and said I was "robbed" or "mugged"? Because I was left with lots of bruises on my face as well and it was in a public place so I was hoping to say that was the incident because I just feel like people wouldn't think poorly of me if they thought I was robbed instead of assaulted?

I guess right now in terms of me being a candidate, I do a lot of comp sci work and combined with women's health volunteering I just don't want anyone to think I'm not committed to medicine. Sorry for the super long post!

Very sorry to hear of these terrible things.

I agree with MTB that saying you were "assaulted during a robbery" or "beaten up during mugging" or "I was the victim of a beating during a robbery" are all telling the truth.

I'm appalled that your own doctor would say something so callous, if not outright evil, to you! If you had immediately broken his nose, I don't think many jury would convict you.

Always remember that you have to be comfortable in your own skin.

 

[M&L]

Hi! So I posted this immediately after the incident happened a while ago but I was pre dental/slightly unsure about what I wanted to do back then. Basically, I had pretty good grades until I got sexually assaulted and also actually assaulted because the entire ordeal was very violent and unexpected and I was beaten up as well. Before the incident I was debating between being pre dent or getting a PhD in bioinformatics, as I have a huge love of tech - but after the incident, I started volunteering with women's health organizations (planned parenthood, domestic violence shelters, etc.) once I felt comfortable enough to walk outside. My gpa fell SO much that semester (the incident was a few days before finals week) but since then I brought it back up even though there is overall damage - I will likely graduate with a 3.75cGPA and 3.67sGPA.

In my personal statement, I don't feel comfortable sharing the sexual nature of the assault. I would really not prefer to talk about the assault in general, however every time I think about "why medicine" I rotate back to the fact that my doctor literally asked me "how I provoked a man to do that" (like literally those exact words, my therapist and I were appalled) and that inspired me to go into medicine because I truly hope nobody ever feels that way! I had a pretty good research career in bioinformatics before (2 publications and 1 poster), and everything seemed lined up but I did take an entire year off volunteering/generally interacting with humans outside of classrooms and I feel like if I don't talk about it med schools will think I'm just lazy and pathetic, but I'm also scared they'll think I'm pathetic if I talk about being sexually assaulted.

SO in terms of the actual question, would it be a technical lie if I pretended I was never sexually assaulted and said I was "robbed" or "mugged"? Because I was left with lots of bruises on my face as well and it was in a public place so I was hoping to say that was the incident because I just feel like people wouldn't think poorly of me if they thought I was robbed instead of assaulted?

I guess right now in terms of me being a candidate, I do a lot of comp sci work and combined with women's health volunteering I just don't want anyone to think I'm not committed to medicine. Sorry for the super long post!

if you use the word "violently attacked" it is more neutral and you wouldnt be "lying", because it could mean a lot of different types of attacks. I would think about maybe using it?

 

[Pinkfluffybunny]

@make_things_better the second one is the goal sort of; my personal statement right now is split into two halves, the first half explains how passionate I am about computer science and technology and then I transition to me volunteering more with women's health organizations while still incorporating technology (because my new research lab studies mental health after assault and I do the coding), but I just don't know how to write the small middle paragraph somewhat explaining what happened. @M&L do you think a 1 sentence line being like "and then I got violently attacked so I (insert everything I did after)" would be a smooth transition?

 

[Pinkfluffybunny]

@Goro Thank you! Honestly I was in shock when he said that and it caused a lot of emotional trauma as well.
Ideally I want to get into a t20 school and while I haven't officially taken my MCAT yet, I've been getting 519-521s on my FLs - do you think that adcoms at those schools would judge me if I mentioned it because I guess I just don't want anyone thinking I am making excuses?
I just feel like they might question how I'm fit to be a doctor when I couldn't even take care of myself right after it happened

 

[M&L]

@make_things_better the second one is the goal sort of; my personal statement right now is split into two halves, the first half explains how passionate I am about computer science and technology and then I transition to me volunteering more with women's health organizations while still incorporating technology (because my new research lab studies mental health after assault and I do the coding), but I just don't know how to write the small middle paragraph somewhat explaining what happened. @M&L do you think a 1 sentence line being like "and then I got violently attacked so I (insert everything I did after)" would be a smooth transition?

Yeah I think it will be fine !!!!! It offers information , it is true, and it doesn’t reveal too much .

 

[deleted480308]

You don’t owe anyone details of your story.

I’m sorry about your situation and hope you find healing

 

[LunaOri]

You can say that you were "attacked and beaten" or "suffered serious injuries in an attack", and needed time to recover. I would hope that no interviewer would ask about details (that would be horribly inappropriate).

 

[Goro]

@Goro Thank you! Honestly I was in shock when he said that and it caused a lot of emotional trauma as well.
Ideally I want to get into a t20 school and while I haven't officially taken my MCAT yet, I've been getting 519-521s on my FLs - do you think that adcoms at those schools would judge me if I mentioned it because I guess I just don't want anyone thinking I am making excuses?
I just feel like they might question how I'm fit to be a doctor when I couldn't even take care of myself right after it happened

You are being way too hard on yourself! Nobody is going to judge you for being a victim.

Your job right now is to get into A medical school. What if your only choice is Drexel or Albany?

 

[Pinkfluffybunny]

@gonnif No worries, I didn't find your response insensitive at all! The actual event was extremely traumatic (it involved an inanimate object being forcibly put in places) so more than anything I just feel uncomfortable knowing that a random adcom would know some of the most intimate details of my life when a lot of my close friends don't. I'm a lot more open about it online because I feel like once someone sees a face to the story they may just associate me with the girl who got assaulted, and on here nobody really knows who I am. While the doctor saying that to me was a huge turning point, my interest in medicine also stemmed from the fact that while this did happen to me, I was extremely privileged - my university provides free therapy, my friends were supportive, and my parents are paying for college. Through going to support groups, I met women who didn't have access to those resources and suffered a lot more than they should have and that disparity is really what drove me to pursue a career where I could directly impact people's lives! so definitely what my doctor said was an issue but not the sole reason Upon reflection I think I'm scared people would react the same way my doctor did. While my friends and family were supportive, the police at my University saw video camera footage of the event and refused to do anything about it. Also, one of my professors refused to let me take my final in a separate room because my class was predominantly male and I just got a lot of anxiety since the incident was 2 days prior - basically, everyone who I have mentioned it to in person (excluding friends and family) has had some sort of negative thing to say about it and I don't want that to cost me my career. I hope that clarifies, but thank you so much for your response, you definitely made me think a lot about how I feel!
With all that said, would you personally still disclose the event?

 

[Pinkfluffybunny]

You are being way too hard on yourself! Nobody is going to judge you for being a victim.

Your job right now is to get into A medical school. What if your only choice is Drexel or Albany?

Thank you! I really don't know how to make sense of it, I think COVID has been really bad for me in the sense that I just think about it more - it literally happened while I was walking home from a library and I guess I sort of got it in my head that if I dont get into a prestigious med school then I would let the person who did it to me "win" as he is actually doing his masters at a top20 institution so I just wanted to be "better" if that makes sense. But you're completely right, I'd honestly be happy with any med school

 

[Goro]

Thank you! I really don't know how to make sense of it, I think COVID has been really bad for me in the sense that I just think about it more - it literally happened while I was walking home from a library and I guess I sort of got it in my head that if I dont get into a prestigious med school then I would let the person who did it to me "win" as he is actually doing his masters at a top20 institution so I just wanted to be "better" if that makes sense. But you're completely right, I'd honestly be happy with any med school

Living well is the best revenge
George Bernard Shaw

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

It’s your story. It happened to you. You are not required to share any details you are not comfortable sharing, and if anyone ever found out that you left the sexual assault part out of the story, no one would fault you.

Don’t worry about clever wording or anything. Just tell the parts of the story you’re comfortable sharing.

 

[IMGASMD]

Also depends on how good of a writer you are and how good of a reader the admin is.

 

[KeViN2502]

I'm so sorry to hear that...

 

[Rapsidy]

Hey OP, just want you to know you aren’t alone. Although not as bad as what you went through I’ve also went through an assault and had a very serious dip in my grades as well at that time.

I’ve found over the years and through therapy it becomes easier to talk about because you start to understand that you did the most important thing; you survived, and you are a stronger person on the other side. So I agree with the other posters share what you are comfortable with. THAT BEING SAID, writing about what happened and talking about what happened in a non therapeutic setting are two completely different things and you may not know what your emotional response will be in the off chance you are asked about it in an interview. So I would highly suggest finding someone you trust or even standing in front of a mirror and practice a little talking about the experience no matter how much or how little you want to share. If you are comfortable verbalizing it then the interviewers will share in your journey even if they never went through that themselves.

 

[Pinkfluffybunny]

@Rapsidy thank you so much, I hope you're in a better place now! I'll definitely start working on that, it seems like a great idea