macdown said:
I'm going to have to dissagree with you on this. One half of cultural tolerance is everyone is being aware of your culture, however on the the flip side you need to be aware of everyone eleses culture. If touching is culturally acceptable to this individual than you need to be aware of that and that act should be judged on its merit and intention, regardless of your culture. If the intention is not to personally offend you and is truly offered in comfort IT SHOULD NOT BE FAULTED! (This is cultural tolerance) You also have to realize that the physician may not realize you are jewish orthodox, does that make him culturally intolerant or ignorant? No, how is anyone supposed to know everybody's cultural and religious background (yeah, some are obvious, but others are not)? Am I supposed to ask every patient their background? I find that even more offensive and that would only perpetuate the belief that everyone is different and should be treated differently. If our society has come to a point were treating someone with respect is culturally offensive, then we are all truly doomed.
N.B. I consider myself a very liberal person, however I am tired of "uber" liberals preaching tolerance as a one way street (we can't offend them, but they can offend us).
I also agree with macdown, that sometimes it depends on the intention of the person, and you can't scream at someone who didn't know he/she was doing wrong when he/she touched you. You should explain it to them so that it's not repeated.
So first of all, I wouldn't ever scream at anyone (I would be uncomfortable and suffer to myself, because that's my personality) and I don't care if you tolerate me or not. But basically my point wasn't so much to bring religion into the issue. There are plenty of people, religious or otherwise, who simply don't like to be touched by strangers. And it makes no sense to "comfort" somebody by touching them if this is only going to upset them more. I'm simply saying that doctors need to be aware of this. It is often obvious if a person is a touchy-feely type or not, but you should never assume, as a doctor, that touching somebody will be comforting. That's a simple issue of patient relations.
If our society has come to a point were treating someone with respect is culturally offensive, then we are all truly doomed.
That's exactly what I'm saying. YOU have to treat your patients with respect. That's your job.
[also, just as an aside, Muslim women and Orthodox Jewish women cover their hair, so it's fairly obvious that we are part of a different culture. You don't need to ask to figure that out. If you see me wearing a hat and a long skirt and long sleeves, you should assume that I'm from a different culture because I look different. Likewise, for female doctors, my husband wears a yarmulke, so it should be fairly obvious that he's Jewish.]
Back to the original issue here -- As an Orthodox Jew I do not touch members of the opposite sex. However I will shake hands no problem, because part of living in the American world is shaking hands. I don't even have a problem offering my hand, but I usually forget because, as I say above, it's simply not part of my culture, and so it's not something that automatically occurs to me to do. This is a difficult issue among Orthodox Jews, because many feel uncomfortable shaking hands. My take on it is if you want to go out into the world and work with other people, you simply have to accept certain aspects of society, especially harmless ones that aren't even a big deal. And to tie it in with above, part of being a doctor is making your patients feel comfortable. Many patients would feel awkward if their doctor didn't offer to shake their hand, so it's my job to offer.
