Soul Searching

[NYCplease]

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hi everyone-
here's the deal. After being accepted to multiple md schools, I am starting to rethink things. I wake up each morning with a knot in my stomach, so unsure of the future. Recently I have been really worried about my decision to become a doctor and wondering if a balanced life is really possible in this profession. I will come out with 40k + 180K (before interest) of debt and I am really trying to figure out if its worth it and if it will make me happy. Here are my concerns below.
- too much stress - no chance of having a healthy balanced life. When I stress out I tend to get sick and I hate that feeling mroe than anything.
- won;t be able to pay back my loans if I go into primary care such as peds.
- having a family (im a woman)
- I love medicine but I dont think that it is the only thing that will make me happy. Do you think I am better off going into nursing or becoming a PA or will I always feel like I could have been a doctor?

I hear stories of people saying it isn't worth it and that it's so much harder
than expected and then I hear other people saying it's much easier than people make it out to be. It's really hard to find the reality of the situation and figure out what will be true for me.



Any thoughts/suggestions?

 

[Law2Doc]

I hear stories of people saying it isn't worth it and that it's so much harder than expected and then I hear other people saying it's much easier than people make it out to be. It's really hard to find the reality of the situation

Both these statements will be true for some people. Medicine isn't an easy career, tends to be all-time-consuming, and it is tough to juggle everything one might want in life. Expect significant compromises to need to be made on both (career and non-career) fronts. Once you really know what you want, it's easier to decide whether it works for you.

 

[vtucci]

hi everyone-
here's the deal. After being accepted to multiple md schools, I am starting to rethink things. I wake up each morning with a knot in my stomach, so unsure of the future. Recently I have been really worried about my decision to become a doctor and wondering if a balanced life is really possible in this profession. I will come out with 40k + 180K (before interest) of debt and I am really trying to figure out if its worth it and if it will make me happy. Here are my concerns below.
- too much stress - no chance of having a healthy balanced life. When I stress out I tend to get sick and I hate that feeling mroe than anything.
- won;t be able to pay back my loans if I go into primary care such as peds.
- having a family (im a woman)
- I love medicine but I dont think that it is the only thing that will make me happy. Do you think I am better off going into nursing or becoming a PA or will I always feel like I could have been a doctor?

I hear stories of people saying it isn't worth it and that it's so much harder
than expected and then I hear other people saying it's much easier than people make it out to be. It's really hard to find the reality of the situation and figure out what will be true for me.

Okay- let me preface this by saying that I am a non-trad and am almost 30. Medicine is my second career (law was my first). Bottomline you need to do something that you enjoy. Money does not matter if you hate what you are doing and if you love what you are doing money and time in matter less.

Type of medicine matters-- are you interested in family practice, derm, pathology, emergency medicine? There are plenty of fields that have a 9-5 schedule and there are also some that have under 40 hours per week (like EM, although the schedule is not 9-5). Consider what type you would be willing to practice.

Stress also depends on the field of medicine. I would seriously advise you not to pursue surgery or OB/GYN if lifestyle is a major motivation.

Debt-- you can think about doing the National Health Corp scholarship if you are interested in primary care (i.e., Family or general practice, internal medicine, psych, ped, OB/GYN). Or you can do the military and have school and expenses paid for in any specialty. Of course, with both programs, they reserve the right to send you anywhere they want for a few years.

PA programs keep increasing the amount of time that they require to finish. Many states are now requiring MA or PhD in the programs, making it just as long to complete.

Having a family is definitely possible. There are students in my med school class who have spouses and kids. It just requires commitment and time management skills.

Other questions, PM me.

 

[gregarious]

NYCPlease

I think you are being realistic about your feelings and I think it is great you are able to ask yourself these questions. I can deffinitetly say I have gone through quite similar thought processes in my journey to medicine. What helped me realize medicine is in fact the best career for me was to explore my other interests and options. I took some time off and explored the field of public health realizing I can do so much more as a physician. I also applied to a few schools of public health and upon acceptance I realized that any form of grad school is an investment of time and money. I realized I enjoy a fast paced work environment and enjoy a position of leadership and empowerment. I believe stress can be managed. I know quite a few classmates who are planning on sharing a practice or going into EM to have a more balanced lifestyle. I also believe the field of medicine is changing and will become more conducive to family. Yes you will have to work hard for a few years to get those loans paid off, but then I think you can make a choice of how much time you want to invest in your career.

If your nerves are severe I would recommend taking a year off to defer. Next year do something you always had an interest in away from or within the field of medicine. Teach, go abroad, see where life will take you away from padding an AMCAS resume...You could also put in some applications for PA or Nursing school to help you decide if MD is really right for you.

Either way I think you should be proud of yourself for asking difficult questions and I wish you the best of luck! You will be great at whatever you decide to do!

 

[silas2642]

I used to really struggle with the same doubts and issues as the OP. But after a lot of soul-searching and trying out different paths, it became pretty evident to me that this was what I was meant to do. I just can't imagine doing anything else with my life-- I don't want to be a PA, a nurse; I want to be a doctor.

But if you think that you could be happy doing something else that is less of a commitment, then I would say go for it. If you're unsure about your path, see if you can defer for a year and try out some different paths. Shadow some nurses or PA's during your summer break if you can, and see if what they do is a better fit for you. Talk to some more doctors and med students and find out how they feel about how medicine has changed and where it is going in the future.

Good luck with your decision; you have some time to think this over.

 

[trudub]

I used to really struggle with the same doubts and issues as the OP. But after a lot of soul-searching and trying out different paths, it became pretty evident to me that this was what I was meant to do. I just can't imagine doing anything else with my life-- I don't want to be a PA, a nurse; I want to be a doctor.

But if you think that you could be happy doing something else that is less of a commitment, then I would say go for it. If you're unsure about your path, see if you can defer for a year and try out some different paths. Shadow some nurses or PA's during your summer break if you can, and see if what they do is a better fit for you. Talk to some more doctors and med students and find out how they feel about how medicine has changed and where it is going in the future.

Good luck with your decision; you have some time to think this over.

This poster hit it on the head I think saying "I just can't imagine doing anything else with my life-- I don't want to be a PA, a nurse; I want to be a doctor." I think if you believe you can be happy doing something else, for example nurse or PA, then you should. There are a lot of sacrifices in medicine. Enough that if you think you can be happy doing something else, you probably should. The sacrifices are only worth it if you wholeheartedly want it and cannot see yourself in any other profession. So, bottom line is that I think if you believe you could be as happy or happier doing something else, the something else is probably the right choice. If not, then becoming a doctor will be worth everything you will go through and then some.

 

[Sammich81]

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=195799

NYCplease- read through some of this thread. And before you decide to scrap the whole thing because of the overall depressing tone, take it with a grain of salt.

Your concerns are almost universal in medicine, especially amongst women. Medicine is incredibly stressful, but some of the stress is self-induced--people who go into this field are driven, perfectionistic, and competitive. That being said, anyone who is sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and overworked is going to feel stress. If stress makes you that physically ill, then you should pick a specialty with a benign lifestyle--derm, plastics, anesthesiology (although that's super stressful clinically), PM&R. What kind of medicine are you looking to practice?

I don't know about PAs, but I have to say that after this year (M3) I realize how incredibly different the roles of nurses and doctors are. It's not just getting to be in charge. Your whole day is different. A doctor's day is pre-rounding (if you're a resident), rounding, writing orders, writing notes, making phone calls on the patient's behalf, going to teaching conferences (assuming you're in the inpatient setting). A nurse's day is spent almost entirely with the patients--they are the ones who hear the monitors go off; they give the drugs; they change the bed when the patient has their fifth BM of the day. All for not enough pay or respect. (Can you tell that I love the nurses I've worked with? They save my a ss all the time.) I think that you have to have a totally different personality. Now, in the outpatient/primary care setting, an NP basically functions like a doc.

So in terms of whether or not being a PA or a nurse will make you as happy as being a doctor, I would advise you to ask yourself what about being a doctor would make you so happy. I think a lot of people think that it's the chance to work with people, to cure illness, and--no shame at all in this--the respect, the gratitude of patients, and the prestige and depending on your field, the money. Most of these things don't pan out as well as you think. Patients are often mean and ungrateful; the money sometimes isn't enough for all the sacrifice; you're not actually with the patient that much, and when you are, you're so damn rushed and overworked that you don't get to enjoy the interaction as much as you think. This is what I've seen. But what has turned out to be surprisingly satisfying is getting to interact with your colleagues, bouncing ideas off each other, joking around, getting a tough job done. And I still like that we're the ones who make ultimate treatment decisions. So ask yourself what is drawing you to the MD path and if it would be fulfilled by another route. Because if it would, then that's what I would do. Prestige be damned.

 

[Uvault05]

Awesome post, Sammich. In fact, I'm a pretty big fan of all of your posts, and it's always encouraging to hear your views on this process.

On a side note, I noticed that the OP had posted this thread on the Residency forum as well, and I'm pretty surprised thus far about how positive the responses have been (especially in comparison to some of the posts found on the link you provided):

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=283169

 

[BaylorGuy]

hi everyone-
here's the deal. After being accepted to multiple md schools, I am starting to rethink things. I wake up each morning with a knot in my stomach, so unsure of the future. Recently I have been really worried about my decision to become a doctor and wondering if a balanced life is really possible in this profession. I will come out with 40k + 180K (before interest) of debt and I am really trying to figure out if its worth it and if it will make me happy. Here are my concerns below.
- too much stress - no chance of having a healthy balanced life. When I stress out I tend to get sick and I hate that feeling mroe than anything.
- won;t be able to pay back my loans if I go into primary care such as peds.
- having a family (im a woman)
- I love medicine but I dont think that it is the only thing that will make me happy. Do you think I am better off going into nursing or becoming a PA or will I always feel like I could have been a doctor?

I hear stories of people saying it isn't worth it and that it's so much harder
than expected and then I hear other people saying it's much easier than people make it out to be. It's really hard to find the reality of the situation and figure out what will be true for me.



Any thoughts/suggestions?

I'll try and give you some hope. After my sister finished her med school and residency she easily came out with at least 110K+ in loans (i'm not positive of the amount, because she never actually told me, but she gave me ballpark figures). She did her residency in family practice and was done at the age of 28/29. She did a couple of years with a clinic in an underserved rural area...not only did she get a great deal salary for working in an underserved area, but she got a whole bunch of benefits (extra pay for extra patients seen, a percent of her loan paid back every year which increased everyyear she stayed with the group). Although she lived in a small community, she managed for 3 years of her life...she was single and wasn't really looking.

She ended up moving after the group folded, started her own practice, got married at 32/33 and currently has a one year old kid (she's 35 now). it can definitely be done if you really want to do it. Sometimes, things happen easy for people and other times it doesn't...you'll pull through. have faith

 

[EW6]

I find myself in a similar situation. I oringinally applied to med school with the typical pre-med idealisms of the career, could do something to help people out, got respect, good living, and live where I want while using biology which I love. Actually as unbelievable as I see it may be now I also thought that I could work less than the average guy after school and still make a good salary. I am freaking right now that I was glaringly not well informed (I only talked to a couple docs did light shadowing and mostly just figured I knew what it would be about) and am now deathly afraid that as I learn more about what is actually involved I could be making a committment into a bad decision. I am a mere two months from starting school and working on a deferment so that I could get more well informed, but if that fails I don't know what to do. I think I could be happy doing a host of other things but I am already out of school a year and if I change now it would be several more years before I could get into anything else (PT, Pharm, Dentistry) with no promise of actually getting in not including the fact that I would want to attend the school I would be turning down for Med. Is there any one out there with a golden heart that has been through this (maybe even residency) that would be willing to talk with me over the phone?
Please give me your thoughts or contact me at: [email protected] if you can help.