MS1 Burnout

[Maizeon]

First-year here. Last semester went pretty smooth: I worked very hard, did well academically and got head start on ECs. I thought I had transitioned well, save feeling quite lonely but I thought that was normal. However, this semester, I started procrastinating reallllyyy badly and just cannot for the life of me keep my freaking motivation up. (e.g. I have an exam at 8am tomorrow that I barely was able to study for and here I am, making an SDN account and posting for the first time) Currently I'm repeating the vicious feedback loop of failing to get stuff done because I can't bring myself to start whatever I need to do, cutting sleep hours because I don't meet my goals, which only pushes me beyond exhaustion, which in turn makes me unproductive and unmotivated to play more catch-up. I don't know how to break out of it; in my undergrad years I have never been THIS devoid of motivation to do anything, even things like checking my email or opening my notes. The worse part is I don't have any friends that I feel comfortable sharing my issues with; I've always been a drama-free person and the amount of drama is tiring me out; so many gunners in my face all the time and it stinks so much. My performance is suffering hard and I feel like a piece of garbage. I don't know what to do.

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[deleted707454]

What are you doing when you procrastinate studying? They way I see it, there is constructive procrastination and destructive procrastination. For instance, dicking around on reddit or facebook all day, even though you sat down to study, doesn't do much for oneself. Getting out and exercising even when you know you gotta study is a way to reset the monotony, self-reflect on all your laggardry, and curb the stress/anxiety. Then after you go sit down and do the work. If that doesn't work, order yourself one of these, to remind you to get **** done.

 

[mk536]

Hey! I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. First off, you need sleep. Pushing yourself to exhaustion isn't going to fix anything. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and social time are pretty important too. Secondly, I would highly recommend going to talk to someone in person about the problems you're having. If your student health services offers counseling, that might be a place to start. There's only so much help that the internet is going to be able to provide you. Please take care of yourself.

 

[ciestar]

You’re me in every sense of your post. In fact, that is precisely what I am doing right now.

I wish I had advice, other than to try and seek counseling to talkk this through. MS1 burnout turns into MS2 burnout which is deadly come time to study for Step.

 

[andrek82]

Hey! I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. First off, you need sleep. Pushing yourself to exhaustion isn't going to fix anything. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and social time are pretty important too. Secondly, I would highly recommend going to talk to someone in person about the problems you're having. If your student health services offers counseling, that might be a place to start. There's only so much help that the internet is going to be able to provide you. Please take care of yourself.

I'm replying to this post specifically so counseling is mentioned more than once. You had a transition to a new environment and new people, you are feeling lonely, and now your motivation is poor. Please talk to someone. It won't help with that test today, but hopefully it will help going forward. As mentioned above, student health should have counselors. If not they can confidentially direct you to someone (they have to, in fact).

 

[ortnakas]

1) Get professional help. There’s no shame in it. You’re not the first or last medical student to deal with depression.

2) It feels like you’re the only one struggling and I promise you’re not. You know how you’re hiding this from your classmates/friends? A lot of them are doing the same. And a lot of the show-off gunners are overcompensating for their insecurities vs. actually being overconfident. You might be lonely right now, but you aren’t alone.

3) Set manageable goals and make yourself a schedule with built-in breaks. Studying (as an example) all of kidney pathology in an day sounds exhausting— you’re going to put it off because it doesn’t sound doable, but it only gets less doable as you put it off. But you could study one chapter or lecture for an hour, schedule yourself a 15 minute break, and then study for 2 hours, and then take a lunch break while you watch one Netflix episode. Looking at everything you have to do all at once is terrifying and awful, but you can break it down into manageable bits.

Scheduling my life by the half hour, and including in those half hours occasional walks outside, Parks & Rec breaks and naps, is how I survived MS1 and MS2. I was you first year, at least kind of, and now I graduate in under 60 days and I matched, so I promise it’s not as bleak as it looks and it gets better.

Hang in there.

 

[mistafab]

I hope you can nip this in the bud now while stakes are low. I would add that besides perhaps seeking help, it might be wise to pull back a bit on your responsibilities until you reach a level of school/life you can manage. It sounds like you may have added on things a bit too fast instead of managing school/life first and then adding responsibilities one at a time.

There is no shame from talking to people in your EC’s and saying that you must ask for less responsibility. You can say that perhaps after you get everything taken care of you can slowly accept more responsibility again.

 

[Maizeon]

Thanks for all the supportive suggestions and empathy. I got completely (and rightfully) wrecked by my exam this morning but will try to make a counseling appointment or rearrange my responsibilities.

What are you doing when you procrastinate studying? They way I see it, there is constructive procrastination and destructive procrastination. For instance, dicking around on reddit or facebook all day, even though you sat down to study, doesn't do much for oneself. Getting out and exercising even when you know you gotta study is a way to reset the monotony, self-reflect on all your laggardry, and curb the stress/anxiety. Then after you go sit down and do the work. If that doesn't work, order yourself , to remind you to get **** done.

I mindlessly waste hours upon hours on YouTube. Not at all constructive to say the least. Haven’t had energy to exercise or be productive beyond the bare minimum.

1) Get professional help. There’s no shame in it. You’re not the first or last medical student to deal with depression.

2) It feels like you’re the only one struggling and I promise you’re not. You know how you’re hiding this from your classmates/friends? A lot of them are doing the same. And a lot of the show-off gunners are overcompensating for their insecurities vs. actually being overconfident. You might be lonely right now, but you aren’t alone.

3) Set manageable goals and make yourself a schedule with built-in breaks. Studying (as an example) all of kidney pathology in an day sounds exhausting— you’re going to put it off because it doesn’t sound doable, but it only gets less doable as you put it off. But you could study one chapter or lecture for an hour, schedule yourself a 15 minute break, and then study for 2 hours, and then take a lunch break while you watch one Netflix episode. Looking at everything you have to do all at once is terrifying and awful, but you can break it down into manageable bits.

Scheduling my life by the half hour, and including in those half hours occasional walks outside, Parks & Rec breaks and naps, is how I survived MS1 and MS2. I was you first year, at least kind of, and now I graduate in under 60 days and I matched, so I promise it’s not as bleak as it looks and it gets better.

Hang in there.

Yeah, reasonable scheduling probably is the solution. I have always been terrible at making a schedule and sticking to it because I usually end up frustrating myself with an overwhelming to-do list. I suck at taking breaks too — I tend to keep studying nonstop till I get tired and lose focus.

Geez, when I put it like this my work ethic is so pathetic that I don’t know how I’ve managed to come this far.

 

[curbsideconsult]

We should start a support group.

 

[Goro]

First-year here. Last semester went pretty smooth: I worked very hard, did well academically and got head start on ECs. I thought I had transitioned well, save feeling quite lonely but I thought that was normal. However, this semester, I started procrastinating reallllyyy badly and just cannot for the life of me keep my freaking motivation up. (e.g. I have an exam at 8am tomorrow that I barely was able to study for and here I am, making an SDN account and posting for the first time) Currently I'm repeating the vicious feedback loop of failing to get stuff done because I can't bring myself to start whatever I need to do, cutting sleep hours because I don't meet my goals, which only pushes me beyond exhaustion, which in turn makes me unproductive and unmotivated to play more catch-up. I don't know how to break out of it; in my undergrad years I have never been THIS devoid of motivation to do anything, even things like checking my email or opening my notes. The worse part is I don't have any friends that I feel comfortable sharing my issues with; I've always been a drama-free person and the amount of drama is tiring me out; so many gunners in my face all the time and it stinks so much. My performance is suffering hard and I feel like a piece of garbage. I don't know what to do.

Get yourself to your school's counseling center, STAT, if you value your medical career.
Practice mindfulness techniques
Exercise regulary

 

[Entadus]

M1 burnout is to be expected. There's a real summer vacation at the end of it; you have no choice but to push through.