soul searching

[NYCplease]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I just posted a similar post in allopathic but maybe you guys are better equipped for these questions. I was accepted to md school this year and for the past two months every day I wake up and I panic about my future. I am so scared that a balanced life isn't possible in med school/residency/practice. That I will be sick all the time and living under the burden of 300k in debt. I know no one can answer this for me but any help would be greatly appreciated. I can't tell if the difficulties of med school and residency are grossly exagerated or if people who post here are right on track. It seems that so many people regret there decision. For those people, what would you have done instead? If I chose to do nursing or PA rather than medicine, will I always feel like I could have been a doctor? Does anyone know of anyone who decided not to pursue medicine and regretted their decision? Is it a bad a career for someone who will have NO financial help, wants a family (female), stresses easily, but loves helping people, working with my hands, being busy, working hard, learning science? I feel so lost and have no idea what to do.

 

[Hercules]

The diffiuclties of med school are grossly, grossly exaggerated. A balanced life is quite possible in residency and practice (even probable if you choose the right specialties). If you can't maintain a balanced life during med school, you're doing something wrong. Lots of us have no financial help. It's doable.

 

[tridoc13]

I agree. I'm also single, female, 36 and wanting a family someday, with no financial support, $250K+ in debt and counting, but there's no way I would be doing anything else. I managed to have a very fulfilling life in med school, involved in all sorts of great extra-curricular activitities, with time to work out, see movies and keep in touch with friends. When I asked myself if I could be happy doing anything else, my answer was a decided "NO!". I spent 10 years out of school, had a well-paying job in finance and was absolutely miserable. Even on the days of surgery hell, when I was tired beyond belief, I was still happier than I would have been on a perfect day out in the "real world" of finance. Everyone has to decide this for themselves, but yes, it is doable and there are many of us who do not regret our decision. Sometimes those who do are more vocal about it, but there are a lot of us who couldn't imagine doing anything else. Good luck with your decision!

 

[Poety]

I agree. I'm also single, female, 36 and wanting a family someday, with no financial support, $250K+ in debt and counting, but there's no way I would be doing anything else. I managed to have a very fulfilling life in med school, involved in all sorts of great extra-curricular activitities, with time to work out, see movies and keep in touch with friends. When I asked myself if I could be happy doing anything else, my answer was a decided "NO!". I spent 10 years out of school, had a well-paying job in finance and was absolutely miserable. Even on the days of surgery hell, when I was tired beyond belief, I was still happier than I would have been on a perfect day out in the "real world" of finance. Everyone has to decide this for themselves, but yes, it is doable and there are many of us who do not regret our decision. Sometimes those who do are more vocal about it, but there are a lot of us who couldn't imagine doing anything else. Good luck with your decision!

I second that, except now I'd like to take a few years off to be with my child 😳

 

[Mom2five]

I think the emotions people are feeling at certain times are real but they don't always post on a good day. I can remember keeping a journal but only wrote in it when I was mad at my husband...to go back and read it you'd think I had a horrible marriage and shouldn't have even gotten married. I think it depends on your outlook on life. If you are generally a happy person you can find your place in Medicine and stay balanced and sane. If you are a miserable person Medicine isn't going to make you "happy"...same thing with marriage, $$, or whatever someone happens to think will make them happy.

That is not to say that Medical School isn't extremely difficult...it is. And you will probably have moments of doubting whether you should have entered. But if you have a supportive family, have some outside interests, etc. you will find that your life feels more balanced even if more actual time is spent on school. My husband is now an official 4th year student and things are starting to fall into place. Third year was a struggle and lots of days doubting our decision...the debt load we have, the stress of juggling the kid activities, etc. starts to weigh on you. But even in the lowest moments I could get him to admit that he really did want to be a physican it was just the whole process that felt overwhelming and made him want to give up at times. It gets real old living on loans with a family of our size. I think if he could've made a real paycheck off and on he would've felt better.

I am also a believer that you can't live too much in future. I do not want to have the attitude that "oh, once he gets into Residency life will be easier". Some problems will disappear but new ones will replace them. I think many med. students are looking for that next stage..."once I start clinicals, etc." and then when they arrive they are disappointed cause it is just as hard if not harder and they are still unhappy. My husband has changed and for a time I was concerned that it was for the worst. Now I am starting to see that this process is going to bring him to a better place.

Just keep family close and guard yourself to remember the things that ultimately matter in life and I think you can survive medical school with your humanity intact.

 

[LADoc00]

I agree. I'm also single, female, 36 and wanting a family someday, with no financial support, $250K+ in debt and counting, but there's no way I would be doing anything else. I managed to have a very fulfilling life in med school, involved in all sorts of great extra-curricular activitities, with time to work out, see movies and keep in touch with friends. When I asked myself if I could be happy doing anything else, my answer was a decided "NO!". I spent 10 years out of school, had a well-paying job in finance and was absolutely miserable. Even on the days of surgery hell, when I was tired beyond belief, I was still happier than I would have been on a perfect day out in the "real world" of finance. Everyone has to decide this for themselves, but yes, it is doable and there are many of us who do not regret our decision. Sometimes those who do are more vocal about it, but there are a lot of us who couldn't imagine doing anything else. Good luck with your decision!

Ouch.

 

[jennyboo]

I can't tell if the difficulties of med school and residency are grossly exagerated or if people who post here are right on track.

The fears you're experiencing right now are exaggerated. But you know what... I'm a week from graduating med school, and four years ago when we first started, we were scared $hitless the first month.

The first month of med school, everyone is scared. Everyone thinks they have signed away their life, they won't have time, and they won't have a balanced life in med school. During the first month, fears >>>>> reality. Because of that, most med students will spend way too many hours studying the first month (irrelevant stuff as well as relevant stuff, to no avail).

After about a month and a half, you'll settle down and realize you don't have to study from morning til night and you'll definitely have a few free hours a day to chill and have fun. You'll actually find that you really have a lot of time. In 3rd and 4th year, although I spent more time in the hospital, I spent LESS outside time studying and found I had MORE time to go out with friends and have fun. (Med student hospital hours were anywhere from 9 to 12 hours five days a week -- like a regular day job, except for a few days when you stay at the hospital overnight or stay late -- not too many of those for med students.)

But yeah. Don't be captive to exaggerated fears. You are going to have time (once you stop panicking and over-studying) and you are going to have fun and see some cool stuff.

 

[needinformation]

I actually think a career as a physician offers the most flexibility for family, fun, and all that I have wanted. I am about to finish residency, and I honestly can say that I love my job, even now. I left a boyfriend to go to med school, married him my second year, and had a baby my second year of residency, and I don't regret a bit of it. We do have educational debt, but spread over 30 years, it isn't too bad.
I say medicine attending jobs have the most flexibility, because there are very few jobs you can do part time. I plan on working about 20 hours a week, making over $100,000. You can't do that in consulting, you can't do that in banking, not teaching...etc. Sure, med school was hard, I cried so much the first year, but you will live. Med school is hard, but really, no one studies ALL the time, you will find time to goof off.
Of course, some specialties are less flexible, I imagine surgical things are not so flexible, but things like derm, radiology, peds, family med, int med (though I rec fellowship for true flexibility in int med), psych...etc, are all very family friendly.
Good luck.

 

[Hockeyguy]

I can't tell if the difficulties of med school and residency are grossly exagerated or if people who post here are right on track.

I felt like it was greatly exagerated - go for it! Everyone tried to talk me out of it. Med school was tough, but not that tough. I am extremely happy with my descion as someone about to graduate. INMHO all the people that post negative whiney stuff on here would b i t c h just as much in any other career. Its more about attitude and your outlook on life than it is about medicine. There are literally a thousand different paths you could take with an MD if you can't find a path with so many choices that will leave proffesionaly/personally satisfied I really doubt you'll find it as an investment banker. Not to sound like Tony Robbins here but life is what you make it - good luck I for one hope you go for it!
Mario

 

[undecided3yr]

If you are worried, talk to some of the current students at the school you got into and find out what they are going through.

My experience:
1st year - gross was fun, biochem was boring. Phys - you feel like you are learing what you came here for, but a rigorous course.

2nd year - sucked. Test every fri in 5 rotating subjects. You just crammed constantly for the class that the test of the week covered. Lowpoint was Thanksgiving with a midterm before the break and another after the break. The course director of the second test even broke down the break by total hours to show us how much time we had to study and still have some "family time" but he forgot to include time for sleep . After Step 1 everything has been much better.

3rd year - call and busywork sucks and they schedule weekly lectures covering material not on departmental or shelf exams. Otherwise you see real patients and work up their problems, essentially what you came to med school for.

4th yr - Just starting this myself - you are cut loose of BS assingments and lectures and actually choose a schedule of what you want to do and have the opportunity to travel through elective rotations.

 

[radonc]

in the words of the infamous Alonzo (ie Denzel) from "Training Day"..."man up dawg"

 

[etudiante04]

I say medicine attending jobs have the most flexibility, because there are very few jobs you can do part time. I plan on working about 20 hours a week, making over $100,000. You can't do that in consulting, you can't do that in banking, not teaching...etc. Good luck.

👍 👍 👍

 

[dinosaurcrumpet]

I can't tell if the difficulties of med school and residency are grossly exagerated or if people who post here are right on track. It seems that so many people regret there decision.

Bear in mind that some of the major contributors to the "Woe is me, medicine is soooo awful" thread here (or whatever it's called) are people who have gone into medicine as a second career, having already found their previous career intolerable. When someone complains about more than one career being so unrewarding, you've got to think, maybe its the person that's the problem and not the career.

Is it a bad a career for someone who will have NO financial help, wants a family (female), stresses easily, but loves helping people, working with my hands, being busy, working hard, learning science? I feel so lost and have no idea what to do.

No. Medicine is a very rewarding career for someone with the values you mention.

 

[CRL]

I have already graduated and have been spenting the past month sleeping in late, watching TV, going to coffee shopes and dinners with friends, I have to say right now life is great. I am terrified but super excited to start residency. Looking back, I have to say it is worth it but the journey was filled with mixture of good times, bad times, laughters, and tears. The only advise I have to give you is life is not always about school but it may seems like this is all you have at times. Keep your friends and family close, you will do fine. Trust yourself, it is not going to be all smooth sailing but you will do just fine. Your family and friends will carry you through, make sure to always make time for them no matter what. Do not isolate yourself to study all the time, you will feel lonely and this feeling is a sacrifice not worth enduring.

 

[AmoryBlaine]

The diffiuclties of med school are grossly, grossly exaggerated. A balanced life is quite possible in residency and practice (even probable if you choose the right specialties). If you can't maintain a balanced life during med school, you're doing something wrong. Lots of us have no financial help. It's doable.

Amen.

Remember when you were in junior high, and everyone tried to tell you how hard high school was? Same type of thing, although med school really is a challenge (as high school may not have been...). If you got accepted, you can make it.

FYI: by the 2nd month of your first year you are too busy to care about your debt.

 

[nightowl]

Need Information, do you mind sharing what your specialty is? Sounds like you have the set-up. 😛

 

[SoCuteMD]

I just posted a similar post in allopathic but maybe you guys are better equipped for these questions. I was accepted to md school this year and for the past two months every day I wake up and I panic about my future. I am so scared that a balanced life isn't possible in med school/residency/practice. That I will be sick all the time and living under the burden of 300k in debt. I know no one can answer this for me but any help would be greatly appreciated. I can't tell if the difficulties of med school and residency are grossly exagerated or if people who post here are right on track. It seems that so many people regret there decision. For those people, what would you have done instead? If I chose to do nursing or PA rather than medicine, will I always feel like I could have been a doctor? Does anyone know of anyone who decided not to pursue medicine and regretted their decision? Is it a bad a career for someone who will have NO financial help, wants a family (female), stresses easily, but loves helping people, working with my hands, being busy, working hard, learning science? I feel so lost and have no idea what to do.

I feel compelled to respond to this because a year ago, I was you. Well, at least those feelings were mine. I was TERRIFIED of being 250K in debt (plus interest!) and leaving the comfortable life I had built for myself and moving 800 miles.

A year later I can tell you that the adjustment was rough, those feelings made it rougher, but I am so happy I took the chance to do this. I can't promise that you will be in the same situation. I actually never considered becoming an NP or PA, I knew the whole time that I wanted to be a doctor or I would have to do something else entirely.

This is just my advice, and it's worth what you paid for it. Best of luck with your decision.

 

[EW6]

I find myself in a similar situation. I oringinally applied to med school with the typical pre-med idealisms of the career, could do something to help people out, got respect, good living, and live where I want while using biology which I love. Actually as unbelievable as I see it may be now I also thought that I could work less than the average guy after school and still make a good salary. I am freaking right now that I was glaringly not well informed (I only talked to a couple docs did light shadowing and mostly just figured I knew what it would be about) and am now deathly afraid that as I learn more about what is actually involved I could be making a committment into a bad decision. I am a mere two months from starting school and working on a deferment so that I could get more well informed, but if that fails I don't know what to do. I think I could be happy doing a host of other things but I am already out of school a year and if I change now it would be several more years before I could get into anything else (PT, Pharm, Dentistry) with no promise of actually getting in not including the fact that I would want to attend the school I would be turning down for Med. Is there any one out there with a golden heart that has been through this (maybe even residency) that would be willing to talk with me over the phone?
Please give me your thoughts or contact me at: [email protected] if you can help.

 

[DrMom]

please do not post a thread in more than one forum.

closing.