Split Personality (anyone feel like this)

[beerog2003]

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I have a split personality, no I don't take medication it is not that bad. I have a dilemma. In order for me to get into medical school I may have to do a post-bac program. I have absolutely no problem doing it, but I am in a pickle. Since I started undergrad, every so often I totally bomb a semester. I mean its like my evil twin shows up and takes control of the car and totally blows my momentum. I mean, when my evil twins not in control I am a rock star and would have no problem blowing out a post bac program, however if my evil twin shows up then I could totally blow my chances at medical school all together. I actually have two questions:

1. Does anyone else have this syndrome?
2. How do I destroy my evil twin without seeing a psychiatrist (which I really can't afford)?

A little more info: I had several interviews this cycle. It is my first cycle. I have a few waitlist and have yet to hear from a few schools.

I may have over dramatized the evil twin thing however, it is the part of me that wants to live life, spend loads of time with my girlfriend, travel (all things that 'normal' people do), just not premeds.

What do you guys think?

 

[WeAreNotRobots]

I have a split personality, no I don't take medication it is not that bad. I have a dilemma. In order for me to get into medical school I may have to do a post-bac program. I have absolutely no problem doing it, but I am in a pickle. Since I started undergrad, every so often I totally bomb a semester. I mean its like my evil twin shows up and takes control of the car and totally blows my momentum. I mean, when my evil twins not in control I am a rock star and would have no problem blowing out a post bac program, however if my evil twin shows up then I could totally blow my chances at medical school all together. I actually have two questions:

1. Does anyone else have this syndrome?
2. How do I destroy my evil twin without seeing a psychiatrist (which I really can't afford)?

A little more info: I had several interviews this cycle. It is my first cycle. I have a few waitlist and have yet to hear from a few schools.

I may have over dramatized the evil twin thing however, it is the part of me that wants to live life, spend loads of time with my girlfriend, travel (all things that 'normal' people do), just not premeds.

What do you guys think?

rock stars only need one cycle.

there's no evil twin, and this probably isn't even a personality disorder (although if you really think you need help, then yes, go get some).


i could be totally wrong here, but here are my thoughts:
it sounds like you have trouble living in moderation and possibly even managing your time. being premed doesn't mean you have no life, and neither does being a doctor. that being said, it is an arduous profession and you need to have some balance in order to stay sane.

i get the feeling that you are fully capable of setting goals, working hard and achieving your goals-- whether it be in the classroom or elsewhere. but you operate at extremes: either going full-nerd or full-chiller. you will have a difficult time in life if you can't operate somewhere in the middle, no matter what you do, and you need to figure out why this is happening if you really want to go into medicine. i suspect time management problems coupled with strong, sporadic desires to "live in the now."

you asked, so there it is. if you don't like it, feel free to send it back.

 

[202781]

Hell NO!

**** man almost all the time.

Never...not even once

 

[135892]

Seek professional help

 

[NotAndrew]

I have a split personality, no I don't take medication it is not that bad. I have a dilemma. In order for me to get into medical school I may have to do a post-bac program. I have absolutely no problem doing it, but I am in a pickle. Since I started undergrad, every so often I totally bomb a semester. I mean its like my evil twin shows up and takes control of the car and totally blows my momentum. I mean, when my evil twins not in control I am a rock star and would have no problem blowing out a post bac program, however if my evil twin shows up then I could totally blow my chances at medical school all together. I actually have two questions:

1. Does anyone else have this syndrome?
2. How do I destroy my evil twin without seeing a psychiatrist (which I really can't afford)?

A little more info: I had several interviews this cycle. It is my first cycle. I have a few waitlist and have yet to hear from a few schools.

I may have over dramatized the evil twin thing however, it is the part of me that wants to live life, spend loads of time with my girlfriend, travel (all things that 'normal' people do), just not premeds.

What do you guys think?

1. No
2. Evil twin? What are you 7 years old?

 

[Grif]

Caveat: I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm a psychology student, so be sure to get checked out by someone who is not a family physician. I certainly don't recommend that you dx/tx via the internet (for crying out loud).

In basic terms, what you're talking about is Dissociative Identity Disorder (wiki FWIW). Now for the bad part: you most likely don't have it. Did I say bad? I meant good, because you can actually get better if you don't have it. The vast, vast majority of people who think they have it don't.

I like to think of it as being similar to people with Social Anxiety thinking they have Asperger's Syndrome (which in reality is much different from social anxiety). On paper, they look pretty similar. So if you're socially awkward (etc), it's easy to get lulled into the idea that you might have it. In the extreme, people put the responsibility for getting better on their physicians' shoulders instead of putting forth an effort to get better on their own (despite the fact that most people with AS try really hard to get better on their own time).

Most of the "usual suspects" for thinking they have it when they don't:

• Older male crossdressers who can't handle it: "It isn't my fault, it's Cindy's fault. She wore it not me!"
• Young guys with a LOT of stress, who don't have a good life balance: "If it weren't for my dark side, I'd have straight-As, be a design rockstar and never cheat on my s.o."
• 30s/40s religious women who have "urges" (leaving it at that)

You should go see a therapist at your school, or an MA-level therapist in the community (based on cost concerns). You don't have a good school/life balance and that could set you up for disaster if you don't take care of it.

It goes without saying that med school is way more stressful than undergrad, but if you learn good stress-management techniques now it can save you tons of headache later. That is one thing the internet is good for.

 

[beerog2003]

rock stars only need one cycle.

You are right, and I may have gotten in this cycle. My message in its entirety says that I am not a rock star all the time. Either way I was looking for suggestions to nip this problem in the but.

there's no evil twin, and this probably isn't even a personality disorder (although if you really think you need help, then yes, go get some).

No I don't have a personality disorder. It probably is more like ADHD, I used the evil twin analogy (maybe very poorly) to attempt to get my point across.

i could be totally wrong here, but here are my thoughts:
it sounds like you have trouble living in moderation and possibly even managing your time. being premed doesn't mean you have no life, and neither does being a doctor. that being said, it is an arduous profession and you need to have some balance in order to stay sane.

That's a good dose of advice, I am just wondering how to bridge this gap to get there.

i get the feeling that you are fully capable of setting goals, working hard and achieving your goals-- whether it be in the classroom or elsewhere. but you operate at extremes: either going full-nerd or full-chiller. you will have a difficult time in life if you can't operate somewhere in the middle, no matter what you do, and you need to figure out why this is happening if you really want to go into medicine. i suspect time management problems coupled with strong, sporadic desires to "live in the now."

Absolutely, just wondering if I can address this without spending a couple gran on someone's couch.

you asked, so there it is. if you don't like it, feel free to send it back.[/QUOTE]

...

 

[beerog2003]

2. Evil twin? What are you 7 years old?

Have you never heard of an evil twin analogy, and what's wrong with being 7 years old?

This reply is unhelpful (why bothering replying without suggestions?).

I thought we were going into a career where we help total strangers. Sounds like you need a refresher.

 

[Tin Man]

I'm a psych guy too, and I think Grif is right.

To be honest, it just sounds like motivation problems, maybe co-morbid with something like ADD or even just depression, but certainly not "split personality" (which would imply DID).

We certainly don't have all the information, and I'm not guessing that any of us have the ability to make any sort of diagnosis. But what I would guess based on what you have told us is that you, like everyone else, have high points in motivation, and low points. Sometimes you have the goal in sight, and sometimes you don't. You just have difficulty moderating between the two.

My suggestion would be to find out what it is that "triggers" the motivation for medicine that makes you want to do well, and schedule this to happen. If it is seeing something medically cool on television, then turn on Discovery Health during breakfast and dinner (assuming you don't have more important things to be doing). If it's meeting with your pre-med counselor, schedule a meeting every month or more.

Just my humble opinion.

 

[Stixman28]

In basic terms, what you're talking about is Dissociative Identity Disorder (wiki FWIW). Now for the bad part: you most likely don't have it. Did I say bad? I meant good, because you can actually get better if you don't have it. The vast, vast majority of people who think they have it don't.

As a former significant other of someone with DID, what the OP describes is most definitely not DID.

If I might combine a parts of previous posts, it sounds like when you work hard, you work hard. And then, you feel the need to relax, and then overdo that too.

You need to integrate moderation. Do you just get really lazy? and play WOW all day instead of go to class? This actually could more closely be aligned with signs of depression. If it was DID, he would probably not dissociate for a semester at a time. As a mood disorder, it is gererally characterized by quick mood swings, and not long lasting ones. Even if they were two weeks at a time, that doesnt account for a whole semester of not doing any work.

Go to a therapist, and start working out what goes on in your mind when you are in your evil twin mode. It is great that you recognize the difference in your experience, and I am sure you can rock a post bac, as long as you're not afraid to stay in therapy.

But please, always take what is said on SDN with a grain of salt. Please guys, there is no reason to freak the poor OP out with mentions of DID. (he probably wouldn't know if he had it anyway...)

 

[beerog2003]

You know what is funny (and this may sound way out in left field). I also want to apply to the HPSP program and I believe one of the disqualifiers is long-term psychiatric help. Does anyone know if this is true/untrue?

I am going to take the advice and talk to someone, but would that eliminate me from this opportunity?

 

[Stixman28]

You know what is funny (and this may sound way out in left field). I also want to apply to the HPSP program and I believe one of the disqualifiers is long-term psychiatric help. Does anyone know if this is true/untrue?

I am going to take the advice and talk to someone, but would that eliminate me from this opportunity?

"long term psychiatric help" and talking to a therapist are miles away. you should still be plenty qualified.

But, it will really depend on what the docs diagnose you with, if anything, and your decisions to go on or off of a med.

 

[Grif]

You know what is funny (and this may sound way out in left field). I also want to apply to the HPSP program and I believe one of the disqualifiers is long-term psychiatric help. Does anyone know if this is true/untrue?

I am going to take the advice and talk to someone, but would that eliminate me from this opportunity?

They are most likely talking about serious mental health disorders, or a situation where you would need to work with a therapist regularly to keep it together. Overseas, it may not be feasible -- so they are prolly trying to weed those people out for logistical reasons. So the answer is "probably not." There's a lot of info on Half MD about how the program can be really rough on your career (and winds up costing you more money than loans). Def check it out. I thought about the Indian Health Scholarship for grad school, but the cost v. savings just doesn't add up for psychology.

We're not really talking a couple thou here, if you spend $90 every two weeks, that's only $180/month for a few months tops. If it's just motivation and balance it could be a few sessions. And your school could offer counseling for this area (my CC does).

And agreed, analogies are usually iffy 😀 I'm surprised my AS v. Social Anxiety analogy came out so understandable this time.

 

[NotAndrew]

Have you never heard of an evil twin analogy, and what's wrong with being 7 years old?

This reply is unhelpful (why bothering replying without suggestions?).

I thought we were going into a career where we help total strangers. Sounds like you need a refresher.

You asked a question I answered your question, that is why I replied. The evil twin analogy is fine if you are seven years old or you don't want to be taken seriously. There is nothing wrong with being seven unless you are trying to post on a message board about becoming a doctor.

What does the part in bold have to do with anything?

 

[beerog2003]

You asked a question I answered your question, that is why I replied. The evil twin analogy is fine if you are seven years old or you don't want to be taken seriously. There is nothing wrong with being seven unless you are trying to post on a message board about becoming a doctor.

What does the part in bold have to do with anything?

Why reply with something that is unhelpful? Are you trying to get your numbers up? LMAO

I did get some very productive post however, and like anything else in life you have to take the good with the bad.

And just like talking to a seven year old, you have to sift through the BS to find out what they are actually trying to say.

 

[Stixman28]

The evil twin analogy is fine if you are seven years old or you don't want to be taken seriously. There is nothing wrong with being seven unless you are trying to post on a message board about becoming a doctor.

I think this is totally unnecessary NotAndrew. Clearly, the OP was struggling to find a metaphor that could express the odd experience he has.

If you find it unhelpful, dont respond, but keep it to yourself. He's not a child just because he used an analogy that you may or may not associate with your own childhood.

Analogies are helpful in psych because the subjective experience is often times ineffable.

 

[NotAndrew]

I think this is totally unnecessary NotAndrew. Clearly, the OP was struggling to find a metaphor that could express the odd experience he has.

If you find it unhelpful, dont respond, but keep it to yourself. He's not a child just because he used an analogy that you may or may not associate with your own childhood.

Analogies are helpful in psych because the subjective experience is often times ineffable.

Irony - An outcome contrary to what was, or might have been expected.

 

[Cadams1]

Hell NO!

**** man almost all the time.

Never...not even once

Best response to far.

 

[WeAreNotRobots]

No I don't have a personality disorder. It probably is more like ADHD, I used the evil twin analogy (maybe very poorly) to attempt to get my point across.
...
Absolutely, just wondering if I can address this without spending a couple gran on someone's couch.

well, it seems like we're narrowing it down to something that will not require thousands of dollars to manage, but at the same time it should be taken care of.

i would say first seek assistance where it's free: your school's academic and personal counselors. if it's a personal time management/decision-making problem, they can advise you. if it's something else, they will have the ability to make a more accurate diagnosis.

in the end it's up to YOU. you have to want to do well academically, and you have to want to take care of this issue-- whatever it is-- if you hope to go into medicine. otherwise, this rockstar will get booed off stage.

 

[Rebs28]

My message in its entirety says that I am not a rock star all the time. Either way I was looking for suggestions to nip this problem in the but.

No I don't have a personality disorder. It probably is more like ADHD, I used the evil twin analogy (maybe very poorly) to attempt to get my point across.

Absolutely, just wondering if I can address this without spending a couple gran on someone's couch.
...

ADHD? Dissociative Identity Disorder? Sounds more like you have trouble taking responsibility for your own actions to me...

Regardless of the nature of your issues, they're affecting your performance in school and this is a big deal. Like others have said, why not see a psychologist at your university? It should be free, they should work around your schedule, and they should be happy to talk about anything you need to deal with. Also, if it's something that requires more attention, they can direct you to the right place. Don't even begin to worry about the HPSP - if you don't address these problems now you might have more serious issues down the road, and you'll have plenty of opportunities in life with or without the scholarship. If this is an option for you, OP, take it - you've got nothing to lose.

 

[Grif]

Regardless of the nature of your issues, they're affecting your performance in school and this is a big deal.

Agreed. I look at it this way: if you frak up your classes this semester or next semester -- then do-overs or extra classes to make up for it will cost you waaaaay more than seeing a therapist.

The 2-minute ADD/ADHD test: Can you concentrate on things you enjoy doing (movies, video games, sex, social activities)? If so, you don't have it. People with ADD or ADHD have difficulty concentrating in all areas.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.htm

 

[beerog2003]

Agreed. I look at it this way: if you frak up your classes this semester or next semester -- then do-overs or extra classes to make up for it will cost you waaaaay more than seeing a therapist.

The 2-minute ADD/ADHD test: Can you concentrate on things you enjoy doing (movies, video games, sex, social activities)? If so, you don't have it. People with ADD or ADHD have difficulty concentrating in all areas.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.htm

You guys are right. I checked and my job has free counseling for up to six sessions. I start next week. I am excited. I will let you guys know how it goes. If what you say is right, then I don't have ADHD.

 

[Jolie South]

Closing this thread as dispensing medical advice is not permitted per SDN's Terms of Service. The OP should seek help for their condition from a licensed medical professional. It seems that the OP has come to this conclusion as well.