Spouse interfering with school/studying?!?!

[sumstorm]

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Um.. it's not that bad, this lifestyle. Most people in their 20s who aren't in medical school but working full-time don't have much of a "lifestyle" either aside from watching TV, playing on the Internet, hanging out with friends and the occasional night out.

You have to be pretty damn needy and selfish if you can't handle your spouse getting an education and helping others.

I have to agree with this. A lot of people think that what they have TODAY or THIS WEEK will be what they always have...but life changes. Life has changes significantly for a lot of people in terms of job loss the last couple of years.

So, maybe my husband and I had the ideal perfect marriage for a year, both very happy, great friends, loved every minute together. Then, his job transfers him; move or find a new job. Or his job reorganizes; travel every month for at least a week or no job. People need to be flexible in their own lives and in their relationships. Or my job says 'we need you to fill in on the west coast for three months; if you ever want to move up, you can't refuse this.' This is the reality of life.

Yes, things are different for me and my husband while I am in vet school, but in reality, it CHANGED the dynamic of our relationship, not our love and affection and support of each other. We both keep looking to our future together while we adapt and adjust to the changes in our living situation as life changes. We had to alter our communications, and change how we prioritized things, but if our belief is that we love each other and chase our future together, then we work to fulfill that together, day in and day out, even if the circumstances change...because they can always change, with out any notice or warning.

 

[Danae00]

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[Danae00]

I have to agree with this. A lot of people think that what they have TODAY or THIS WEEK will be what they always have...but life changes. Life has changes significantly for a lot of people in terms of job loss the last couple of years.

So, maybe my husband and I had the ideal perfect marriage for a year, both very happy, great friends, loved every minute together. Then, his job transfers him; move or find a new job. Or his job reorganizes; travel every month for at least a week or no job. People need to be flexible in their own lives and in their relationships. Or my job says 'we need you to fill in on the west coast for three months; if you ever want to move up, you can't refuse this.' This is the reality of life.

Yes, things are different for me and my husband while I am in vet school, but in reality, it CHANGED the dynamic of our relationship, not our love and affection and support of each other. We both keep looking to our future together while we adapt and adjust to the changes in our living situation as life changes. We had to alter our communications, and change how we prioritized things, but if our belief is that we love each other and chase our future together, then we work to fulfill that together, day in and day out, even if the circumstances change...because they can always change, with out any notice or warning.

I can't disagree with a thing you said. But I also don't see how your situation applies at all to other people's views on what makes them happy in a relationship.

IMO the best thing people can do in a relationship is to communicate and be honest with each other. And part of being honest is acknowledging that we all have our limits of things we will tolerate and things we won't. Pretending otherwise will just lead to disaster. *shrugs* Been there, done that, but somehow I missed getting a t-shirt 😛

THIS ALL SAID.... this really is way off topic from the original post. The spouse in this situation sounds completely unhinged. I hope everything works out well for the OP!